Relaxing before being a bottom for the first time

[bberik]

Well, I'm not completely virgin, but haven't been a bottom for about 25-30 years. I've been a complete top since. Still, it triggers me with a great deal of excitement trying it again. Especially after someone tried to enter me in a darkroom in Riga a couple of weeks ago. But he couldn't get it in, because I was too tight and I wasn't lubed. I have swallowed quite a few loads lately, but I want to be fucked, and I want the cum to fill my ass. But as being inexperienced I want someone who is careful the first time.

And then, here's my question. How do I get relaxed, so my sphincter doesn't "protest" too much when entering? I've heard being drunk helps. Of course, that's one choice, but I don't want to be too drunk either. Smoking pot? Well, I'm not into the drug scene, I don't smoke normally, but I guess I could do it for once, but then again, if I'll be going to a bar/sauna/darkroom there probably wouldn't be too much pot available.

And what kind of lube is better for barebacking?

I appreciate all answers and suggestions.

[bearbandit]

Firstly, thanks for your honesty. I have a slight idea of how you feel as all my profiles list me as versatile and virtually all the guys I meet seem to think "well he can bottom for the next guy..." I'd suggest getting a realistic sized dildo and using that on yourself. A beer or two (no more: the actual amount would depend on your body size) might help you relax. Your favourite porn and be generous with with lube. Leave your dick alone for the time being: it's your arse we're training here. If the dildo is latex, you're going to need a water based lube, but this is just practice. As you get turned on by the porn try pushing the dildo against your arse hole, don't worry if doesn't go in first time. Keep a gentle pressure on your hole and work the dildo around a bit. When the porn hits a particularly horny point you might find your hole opening spontaneously or that it only takes a slight push to get it in. Remember you're only doing to yourself what you done to who knows how many men. They had a good time. You'll reach a point where your arse wants more. When was the last time you made a man beg for your dick? It's your arse doing the begging now. You going to take a bit more? Maybe add a bit more lube to get things nice and sloppy... Start playing with your dick now: your hand's covered with the lube that's going in and out of your arse. When you feel yourself start to cum go wild with the dildo...

When it's a man and not a dildo (fuck - I got a hardon writing that last paragraph) be honest with him. All you need say is that it's been quite a while since you've got fucked and you need him to take it slowly. It might be easier on you if you can take him home for the night.

What lube? Coconut oil if you can get it is very good - it melts at just under body temperature, or try a good olive oil. Both are cheaper than lube sold in sex shops and what you don't fuck with, you can cook with.

Good luck - let us know how things go.

or you could get on the ferry and come to Wales...

Edited July 23, 2013 by bearbandit
Spelling (as usual)

[rawTOP]

I recommend stretching your hole with a dildo that's a size thicker than the cock you want to take about 20-30 min before you get fucked. You don't have to overdo the dildo play - just use it enough that you can slip it in and out easily without it hurting.

[Idigholes]

Great advice from bearbandit and rawTop. Thanks to their advice I've been able to get fucked again after 13+ years. I love to top but my man is vers and has given me some great ass so I am happy to return the favor and take his big cock. Start touching your ass often to familiarize yourself with that type of sexual stimulus. Get comfortable with that then get a dildo that is not very large. Use it every day or two ( with plenty of lube)to keep opening up and once you are enjoying that get a dildo that is, as rawTop says, a size thicker than the cock you want to take. Use the smaller one each time for opening and lubing the inside of your hole then lube the bigger one and go for the stretch. I went from making my guy stop because of pain to taking it and loving it within a matter of weeks. Tried the other day with just a clean out and no dildo play and I was having pain for the first time since I bought the larger dildo. The next night he breed me so deep I was still seeping cum the following morning. I got so horned up by that I was able to slide my smaller size toy in with just a hit of poppers and the slime in my ass.

I've been so tight these last few years due to a homophobic proctologist being very aggressive during surgery. If I can take a big dick using these steps to get opened back up I bet you can as well.

Further more, my becoming versatile will not interfere with me performing my "civic duty" as a hung top and breeding ass whenever I can.

Edited July 24, 2013 by Idigholes
Typo

[bberik]

Got a dildo, but it is damn too big. Can't get it in. Using a lot of lube, and am trying. I'll either have to find a smaller dildo. The one I got is 19 cm long and 4,5 cm diameter (7.7" long by 1.8" diameter). I could try to get it in my ass within the next to weeks, and hope for a small cock in Poland, or wait until I go to Berlin in October, lol. Right now I feel pretty sore, and I still can't get it inside my ass.

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

Getting the top to suck and slurp your hole for a while might help. Alternating that with fingering/strumming/caressing your pucker and taking the time to GO SLOW and EASY at first might also help. Tops who verbally encourage their bottom men usually get better results.

Anyway, I've fucked a lot of men's asses (not yet enough, though) and have found those techniques have usually made bottoms feel more at ease & more confident to be able to take my 8.5" and ENJOY it. Especially bottoms who usually self-identify as tops.

[Idigholes]

"hope for a small cock in Poland"

Are there any smail cocks in Poland?

[bberik]

I can now get the big dildo inside, but it hurts keeping it inside. Gotta keep practicing. Hopefully I will find some real cock in Poland in about ten days, but definitely in Berlin in October. I'm gonna frequent Tom's Bar, Bull, Connection, Prinzknecht...

[pipesmokin'manfucker]

Sitting on the top's cock and letting it penetrate you at the speed and to the depth you're comfortable with. Take your time - what's the rush?

Getting my cock raped is one of my favourite positions...

[bberik]

It hurt like hell taking a dump this morning, and there was blood. I guess I tried too hard with that dildo that was obviously too big for me. Better take it slower, and not trying to rape myself.

[headnurse20]

As a confirmed bottom, I can say LUBE, LUBE, LUBE and relax! Don't go rushing to sit on a baseball bat! Start small and slowly work your way up! I have 3 plugs that get progressively larger. If it has been awhile since I have taken a cock I will use those to loosen up along with ALOT of finger play! If find it helps to "bear down" like I am trying to shit when I feel the tip of the tops cock at my hole. Believe it or not when you do that you are relaxing the muscle that keeps it closed making access easier. I have one top that I play with on a regular basis who loves to eat ass and he works my hole over with his tounge and fingers for at least an hour before he can't stand listening to me beg for him to fuck me and slpis right in. He is the only top that I have been with that I don't need lube with as there is plenty of my own natural juices and his spit flowing!

Just remember to relax, go slow, and use LOTS of lube! Have fun with it!

[bearbandit]

Tops who verbally encourage their bottom men usually get better results.

That's an excellent point: verbal reinforces the connection between you and needn't necessarily consist of words (dodging the pun), at least on the bottom's part. A constant stream of verbal filth about the very near future when he's got his dick inside helps a lot in relaxing. When I bottom, I discovered this week, I keep up a string of grunts/moans/pleas for more: all feedback for the top.

[Deepanalnut]

seriously, I've found over the years that a serious tongue fucking, and I'm talking getting the fucker in there as deep as possible and head bobbing and sucking the rim, etc for a good 10+ minutes is hands down the best. I've never had a hole not open up. Fully hard I'm a tad bit longer than 8" and have the girth between a 1/2 and silver dollar coin

[NHSoccerjock]

I pretty much only use pjur (or other cum). pjur is the lube i like best. other than that, just finger a lot, go slow.. may be better to ride a dildo or plug before hand

[sentry75]

I will cross post what i wrote in a parellel thread

https://breeding.zone/threads/22056-Relaxing-the-hole

I am not an expert but I went from being fucked only 6 times in my life to taking 10.5 inchers with no problem essentially overnight. My advice:

1. Douche. I actually find the act of douching loosens me up in addition to cleaning out.

2. Finger. After I douche I spend about 2 minutes with a small amount of lube working two then three fingers in and stretching my hole.

3. Lube. I like a silicone lube because it is slipperier, long lasting and doesn't get sticky. I also use a lube shooter to get it far up my ass to coat the biguns when they get there.

4. Try to relax. Don't fight the initial penetration.

5. Hold on for that first 30 seconds to a minute. Ask your top not to go too crazy for the first minute. I find that if I am allowed to get used to the dick in my ass for about 30 seconds I can take a hard deep fucking immediately after. Some tops don't like to be asked this. On the other hand I have had plenty of tops go crazy from my initial "take it slow" changing to "fuck me as hard as you can" in less than a minute once I got a taste of their big dick in my ass.

6. Ass to mouth. I could invent some fake justification like "it replenishes your juices with lubricating spit" but in reality I think it is just really really hot.