Is barebacking in a "monogamous" relationship still too risky?

[Internal Blast]

Men cheat so if one does not want to be HIV+ should one still use condoms in a relationship that is agreed upon to be "monogamous"?

[bearbandit]

It depends on the level of trust you have with your man, some of whom are capable of monogamy, by the way. I'd say it needs a deep and honest discussion of what each of you expect and want. If one of you decides that you don't trust the other enough and decides to go for PrEP in order to maintain a condomless relationship, then you haven't talked honestly enough. If one of you is positive, then yes, condoms or PrEP are the order of the day until the positive guy can get his VL down to undetectable (treatment as prevention). An undeteectable viral load is on a par with condoms for transmission prevention.

If you're truly going for monogamy, then you need to test twice, three months apart to make sure that you're both negative or just the once if you turn up both positive, in which case keep up with the hospital appointments and take your meds. From experience, there's nothing like a positive partner to make sure that you remember to take your meds ;-)

Basically, the key is mutual honesty...

[TigerMilner]

Ugh, what a boring relationship you describe. If so, count me out.

[ftlbottompig]

I agree, once you go raw....why go any other way?

[NastyRigPig]

Well, most relationships being what they are, after the first few years there isn't a hell of a lot of sex, so the question becomes academic.

[rawTOP]

As others have stated…

1) Once you start barebacking with a boyfriend you won't want to go back to condoms and you'll want bareback when you have sex with other guys.

2) 95%+ of men are not monogamous by nature. You or your boyfriend will have sex outside your "monogamous" relationship. Maybe not right away, but eventually. (See point one).

If you're the type who likes the safety of condoms - then use them every time - even with your boyfriend.

[dcchaser]

Never used condom with boyfriend. He cheats as a top I cheat as a bottom then come home and give him my charged load. Turns me on.