Need Advice From Guys on PrEP for 6 months or longer

[bblbbottom]

I am new to PrEP. I have been on Truvada for 2 weeks and ready to start barebacking. Before starting PrEP I was very conservative about barebacking, and was always worried about converting, so never had much fun. So you know, I am a total bottom. Now that I'm on PrEP I'm hoping to have more fun and less worries. My questions to the long time PrEPers ( over 6mo) is

1) Do you just bareback with a hookup and never ask about status?

2) Do you stick with UD poz men on meds ( I think very low risk)?

3) Do you only bareback poz guys ( because the are almost all on meds with low VL)?

4) Do you avoid negative guys who bareback ( likely if poz, will not know and have high VL)?

I would love to do #1, but thinking about #2, and maybe #3. I would like to get some feedback as to what other PrEPer's are doing. I know I'm likely over thinking this, but know the studies show between 40-95% effectiveness, likely 95% if taken daily at the same time, as I will be doing. I'm very excited, but not sure how to proceed.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

Been on PrEP since August 2013

1) Yes status is a non issue

2) I used to but now I really don't think of HIV status at all.

3) Not anymore. Used to but it doesn't matter.

4) Not anymore.

Some will argue at this point but I trust my ID doc more than others. So I am compliant with dosing. I believe PrEP regimens will ultimately become less rigorous.

[rawTOP]

I did #1 even before I was on PrEP. lol

Bottom line - do whatever you did when you used condoms. PrEP is about the same as using condoms - probably safer (in terms of HIV).

[wood]

I am new to PrEP. I have been on Truvada for 2 weeks and ready to start barebacking. Before starting PrEP I was very conservative about barebacking, and was always worried about converting, so never had much fun. So you know, I am a total bottom. Now that I'm on PrEP I'm hoping to have more fun and less worries. My questions to the long time PrEPers ( over 6mo) is

1) Do you just bareback with a hookup and never ask about status?

2) Do you stick with UD poz men on meds ( I think very low risk)?

3) Do you only bareback poz guys ( because the are almost all on meds with low VL)?

4) Do you avoid negative guys who bareback ( likely if poz, will not know and have high VL)?

I would love to do #1, but thinking about #2, and maybe #3. I would like to get some feedback as to what other PrEPer's are doing. I know I'm likely over thinking this, but know the studies show between 40-95% effectiveness, likely 95% if taken daily at the same time, as I will be doing. I'm very excited, but not sure how to proceed.

1) I always ask status, mainly because it weeds out flakes, tweakers, and the like. For me, I have no desire to have a man in me raw, and cumming in me, if he cant provide basic info. It is different for everyone, but I personally dont get off on just a dick in my hole, or my dick in a hole. I need to be attracted to the person, and want to do it. Other people are different, but thats your opinion and mentality.

2) In a word yes, I will do almost anything with an undetectable guy, and in many ways prefer them to "neg" guys who dont get tested enough. I know undetectable guys see a doctor and tend to care about their health, with PrEP, and new studies saying they pose very little risk in transmission, its a win win.

3) No, I will do "neg", undetectable, etc. Im also vers, so I am much more likely to top a guy who is unsure of their status than I am to bottom for them. I was like that pre-PrEP so old habits die hard. PrEP just opens things up more without the worry, at least for me.

4) No, and IMO thats hard to avoid, and could be silly. Many guys who do watch their health and are neg still bareback, so there are some good ones out there. The best part about PrEP is that it protects you in those circumstances where the guy may not know. What I avoid is anyone who PNP's, especially with meth. I walk away from anyone who does meth, because I usually don't trust anything they say.

One last thought. Another way to help limit exposure is to stick to complete tops, as their risk is lower than vers guys. Its far from perfect but it can help. For me, I still wont let a poz guy not on meds fuck me. For me I dont see the point. I live in a major city, and there are plenty of men I can sleep with that are undetectable. I dont se the point in taking the extra risk, no matter how small it is.

Your best bet to stay consistent with PrEP is to get a pill case, and set an alarm. That way you will know if you took it, and the alarm will be at the same time daily. Ive been on mine about 8 months and have missed two doses, mostly thanks to the pill case. You know if you have taken it or not, which makes a huge difference. When its such a small detail in a daily routine, its easy to forget if you too it, if it was just out of the bottle.

[fskn]

My questions to the long time PrEPers ( over 6mo) is

1) Do you just bareback with a hookup and never ask about status?

Yes, but mainly because I happen to get off on glory holes and anonymous sex as much as I get off on fucking a man I'm in love with in front of the proverbial fireplace. When the setting allows, I like to have a conversation to exchange information not about HIV per se, but about health. Is my Neg partner getting tested regularly? Is my Poz partner receiving regular medical care? I want Neg guys I fuck to know that I'm on PrEP, that it's effective because I use it daily, and that I am tested for HIV and other STDs every few months. I want Poz guys I fuck to know this last point, because I care about their health. I know that any kind of infection can be serious for them.

2) Do you stick with UD poz men on meds ( I think very low risk)?

No. This was part of my strategy before PrEP. Since starting, last July, I happen to have met a long-term non-progresser, another man whose HIV was under control without medications, and one guy who had some general health challenges and was switching HIV medications. When I'm having sex with a guy whom I know is Poz, my main concern is whether he is receiving regular medical care.

3) Do you only bareback poz guys ( because the are almost all on meds with low VL)?

No. Most of my sex partners happen to be Neg.

4) Do you avoid negative guys who bareback ( likely if poz, will not know and have high VL)?

No. Before I started PrEP, though, the combination of "he thinks he's Neg", "he doesn't test regularly", "he doesn't know what an HIV antibody test result means" and "he takes it raw" would give me pause (no pun intended).

When we're talking about sex, which is primal and gives rise to some of the best physical sensations and emotional feelings that we will experience in our lives, it's unrealistic to have rigid rules. In the course of my HIV prevention volunteer work years ago, I heard a practitioner say something along these lines: "Focus on your expectations for the next encounter, the next week or the next month, not on permanent rules that will be hard to uphold."

Whatever rules you set, don't get discouraged if you only come close to perfection. The world isn't likely to end if you miss a Truvada pill every few months, or find out that the incredibly hot Poz guy who came inside you one time wasn't on meds.

[Guest hagerstownraw]

PrEP started Oct 8 2012.

This is easy. Before PrEP I barebacked 5 times since the 1980s. 2 of those times I went for PEP.

Now, on PrEP, I just bend over and take loads deep in my ass and I don't ask anything.

[HereInLondon]

I started PrEP last month and I'm in the similar state of mind as the original poster was (maybe still is?), trying to figure out the who and whens.

When I'm fucking using condoms, I never ask about HIV status (and don't like being asked myself).

I think I want the equivalent of that for when I choose to bareback whilst on PrEP.

It's not that I think those discussions beforehand are useless (like it was said by Wood, those discussions can help you see clearer what someone's attitude is); it's that I'm so used to not trusting or not needing to trust what a guy says. I've got my safe sex practice and regardless of what they say, I'm sticking to that.

I fuck a lot of guys, one offs and regulars, using condoms, and with the overwhelming majority of them, I'll keep on using condoms, I don't want to change the sexual dynamic with them (condoms and PrEP - the safer sex equivalent of being laminated).

There's a couple of guys, however, that I think, god yeah, I'd love to fuck about bare with you (although I've yet to broach the matter with any of them). And there's a few situations I can think of (fueled by my own imagination and by the fiction sections of this site) that I'd love to explore.

Feels like it's all about re-negotiating that balance between pleasure and risk and finding what suits. Maybe my practice and rules will have to be a bit more fluid (pun intended).

I've probably gone a little off-topic, but this is my first post since registering and I've got a fair amount bouncing round my head (I doubt I've managed to catch it all).

It's helped a lot to actually type this post and put it out there (even and especially to be questioned and challenged).

This site has been incredibly helpful, thanks.

[ToxPoz]

On PrEP for 1.5 years

1) I don't ask status. I take any and all loads

2) No. Why limit yourself to UD men?!

3) I bareback with everyone

4) Why avoid neg guys? They have big dicks and balls full of cum, too.

Recommend taking Truvada daily. I do and take cum with VL >1 million. And I stay neg.