Its hard...

[NLbear]

I agree with Tiger. Reading your posts on this guy (not just this one, you posted others as well), he is abusing and using you. He wants you to pay for everything: flight tickets, stay, food and everything else, but he doesn't want sex with you anymore. And you foolishly did this. You paid for everything this guy wanted. That is "using you". Then he did let you know that he had sex with other guys, while you paid for his stay. Letting you know that he is having sex while you made his stay in London even possible financially, but he doesn't want you to fuck him. That is "abusing you".

Don't get in touch with this guy ever again. It will only hurt you more if you do. Forget him and move on. You say you are a dominant top. I bet there are plenty of submissive Bottoms in London that you can be attracted to and who would be more than happy to get in touch with you. And who knows? Maybe one of those will prove to be "relationship worthy".

Buddy, you posted a lot of stuff on this guy here, so it is clear he is still in your head. But believe me, this will not go anywhere. Just forget him, delete his contact details and move on. If he calls, don't even answer the Phone. Just delete him from your life.

[fillmyholeftl]

I just had to chime in.. been following this thread. The originator, seems a little to "needy" and has an explanation for all behaviors and consequences... This seem to be another of those "fantasy" posts... (just MHO)

[losttop]

I just had to chime in.. been following this thread. The originator, seems a little to "needy" and has an explanation for all behaviors and consequences... This seem to be another of those "fantasy" posts... (just MHO)

Maybe I'm a bit needy.... The reason I defend his behaviour sometimes is because I always look for the good in people I care for...and always think.... Maybe it's my fault. Trust me.... Wish I had made this up.

[losttop]

I agree with Tiger. Reading your posts on this guy (not just this one, you posted others as well), he is abusing and using you. He wants you to pay for everything: flight tickets, stay, food and everything else, but he doesn't want sex with you anymore. And you foolishly did this. You paid for everything this guy wanted. That is "using you". Then he did let you know that he had sex with other guys, while you paid for his stay. Letting you know that he is having sex while you made his stay in London even possible financially, but he doesn't want you to fuck him. That is "abusing you".

Don't get in touch with this guy ever again. It will only hurt you more if you do. Forget him and move on. You say you are a dominant top. I bet there are plenty of submissive Bottoms in London that you can be attracted to and who would be more than happy to get in touch with you. And who knows? Maybe one of those will prove to be "relationship worthy".

Buddy, you posted a lot of stuff on this guy here, so it is clear he is still in your head. But believe me, this will not go anywhere. Just forget him, delete his contact details and move on. If he calls, don't even answer the Phone. Just delete him from your life.

I honestly think that he uses me without malice.... I honestly to god think that he is so big headed that he thinks it's normal! I don't want sex with u anymore.... But accept it! He told me he just wanted to be normal friends before coming.... And ultimately it was me accepting his conditions...but of course u r right.... He is a user...he will regret it I know.... As he had it good deal going on with me...good luck with finding another fool like me! He is no Adonis either.... Not that it matters.... To me anyway.... When I care for someone, they can have a belly.... Not looking for perfection as I'm not perfect either...just wanted someone I could have a bit of fun with without the rejection.

[sluttysublad]

Feel for you fella, but you need to realise there are two people that have allowed this situation to occur, not just one.

By accepting his behaviour toward you, you have been enabling him to hurt you. That's not saying that he is blameless, but from what you have said when you split up but still liked him, you accepted a FB relationship when you actually wanted a BF relationship. He made it clear that wasn't going to happen, and you went along with it hoping he would change his mind anyway, even going so far as to fly him over to see you 'as friends'. But then you have gotten upset when he has treated you just as a friend. Re: the buying stuff just don't do it he can't force you to buy him things - but I suspect if you went so far as to fly him over, I also suspect you offered to pay for things while he was here.

I don't know what he has said to you, but to me him going out and getting sex elsewhere but refusing to have sex with you is him making clear what his boundaries are and if you accept it he will ride rough-shod all over your heart for evermore.

It's over, it sucks, there are plenty of us horny bottom bois out there that love to be with a top that is in touch with his feelings, you just need to get out there and screw a few till you stop thinking about your ex.

Edited June 5, 2014 by sluttysublad

[losttop]

Feel for you fella, but you need to realise there are two people that have allowed this situation to occur, not just one.

By accepting his behaviour toward you, you have been enabling him to hurt you. That's not saying that he is blameless, but from what you have said when you split up but still liked him, you accepted a FB relationship when you actually wanted a BF relationship. He made it clear that wasn't going to happen, and you went along with it hoping he would change his mind anyway, even going so far as to fly him over to see you 'as friends'. But then you have gotten upset when he has treated you just as a friend. Re: the buying stuff just don't do it he can't force you to buy him things - but I suspect if you went so far as to fly him over, I also suspect you offered to pay for things while he was here.

I don't know what he has said to you, but to me him going out and getting sex elsewhere but refusing to have sex with you is him making clear what his boundaries are and if you accept it he will ride rough-shod all over your heart for evermore.

It's over, it sucks, there are plenty of us horny bottom bois out there that love to be with a top that is in touch with his feelings, you just need to get out there and screw a few till you stop thinking about your ex.

I was actually ok with us being FBs.... But he changed that.... He just wanted platonic.... But I thought he would change his mind.... Which he did.... But I would only get like this 5minutes special where I had to breed him quickly...and when we went out ... We didn't have like spontaneous conversation like friends do.... It was more like alcohol binge drinking....there was no connection.

[NLbear]

Man, stop whining. Get over him and forget him. He's not good for you. Move on. He was an abuser and user. Cut him out of your life and move on. Otherwise I am going to believe other member's suggestions you're just posting these threads to get sympathy for your situation and see what the reactions are. If you really have so many issues with this situation then get mental help.

[losttop]

Would like to thank everyone that responded to my thread...some of the responses have been truly inspiring and helpful. Although he is an abuser he told me what he wanted...it was me that could a chance and hoped for better result. In the end he took advantage of me with my consent. Nobody can make u feel inadequate without ur consent. It has been a learning experience for sure! I'm just ready to meet that special one and I have to remind everyone that just not everybody will do. Since he left I have hooked up with few guys which has been fun.... Looking for professional issues to help me deal with some of my issues...in the end I didn't love him.... I was just in love with the idea of being in love with him.