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Can Relationships Work?


RWHID

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Love yourself and fuck anyone who gives you shit, I'd rather have one or two good friends that i can count on then a gagle that are not worth shit

It's the attitude I wish I had right now.

Dealing with rejection (and worse: false statements about today's reality of HIV) has been difficult for me in the past couple days. In the course of 2-3 days on Grindr, I think I changed a dozen guys' opinion about poz-undetectable. Most guys still dismiss the idea of meeting a poz-undetectable outright. I was able to convince them otherwise.

It does get tiring to constantly do sex-ed and act like a spokesperson every time you encounter misinformation.

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  • 2 weeks later...

So it's been a year now since I got my poz results.

I talk to my ex 2-3 times a week and he seems to be the one person who is always there to listen, even though he is in jail. He seems to be better than family these days. After having some good conversation with a wise friend, she told me I still love my ex, and honestly I do. I think I always will. He knows that too and I told him about the conversation I had with her. I think I was scared of losing him over this shit I thought it would be best to end it now and move on, or try to move on since that's all I did. I tried with two guys but never forget about him. One said it was okay, the other one thought it was best I forget about him and let him rot. This is also the same person I found out was only a bug chaser and once he realized I wouldn't "gift" him turned on me in a heartbeat. Some friend, right? My ex and I talked last week and if he gets out we are going to try and work our problems out and try to make us work. Neither of us want to lose a year of what we had.

To make things worse, my grandpa passed away this past week. We had his visitation today and funeral is tomorrow. I didn't want to attend because I didn't want to see the looks from family and others after the HIV "scandal" that "rocked" the small town. I thought since it was almost a year now maybe it would be the last thing on their minds, and it not being in the news lately would also help. A friend of the family walks up to me tonight and says "I seen you on TV" and gives me a dirty look and walks away. One of my aunts walks up and says "I say be who you are, and do what you wanna do!" and gives me a hug. More dirty looks from people I know and some I don't, until I decided I needed out of there. I walked to my friend's house a few blocks over and got on Facebook only to see the news decided to air an update to his story TODAY of all days, and post it all over their wall and on TV. I have seen it aired twice since I got home. I can already tell tomorrow is going to be a fun day.

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My husband and I are coming up on our 31th anniversary. Husband because we legally married almost 5 years ago when it became legal in Vermont. I am top (+), he is bottom (-). Neither of us were looking for a relationship when we found each other. Can not imagine a life without him.

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So it's been a year now since I got my poz results.

Hang in there bud don't let the assholes win, work on your relationship with your ex.

Hugs to you

Edited by rawTOP
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Honestly, I can't win for losing. As I started to accept my grandpa was gone, now baby I've had for almost 7 years has to go in next week for surgery to remove a tumor. Vet said he got this tumor because he has never "been laid" ........ which is true... but damn... I never knew of that...

When you need someone to hold you and they can't... he is 20 minutes away... so close... yet so far away.

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  • 1 year later...

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