Wanting to be a cumslut, but too nervous.

[jacobcumdump]

Hey,

I watch bareback porn all the time, especially gangbang breeding. I love it and want to be the cumslut taking all the loads I can. However, I'm scared about getting the bug, although recently bug chasing is a real turn on.

Any Advice?

[sites5]

For what it's worth: I made the decision to ditch condoms and be a cumdump about September 2013. I tested positive December 2013. Even if I become chaste for the rest of the year, my sex life in 2014 will far and away have been the best of my life.

[XTF2020]

How are you coping with it Sites? Was it tough converting and getting used to it mentally? Not on meds?

[sites5]

Still not on meds for a specific but temporary reasons. I got a strong flu and knew, as my doctors did, exactly what had happened, so the result wasn't out of the blue. I was depressed and angry for a few days or so (even though I'd taken the decision to bareback knowing it was a matter of time, and probably not much of it), and then for a few weeks ambivalent, thinking about not having to fear getting it any more while still conscious that it means medical issues, though they're fairly manageable, for the rest of life. After that period of time, I became and remain glad I'm poz: because I can be the cumdump for as many tops as possible, as often as possible, with total focus on serving the tops, feeling the fucks, holding the cum, and never letting disease or worry affect my performance and my near-spiritual enjoyment.

[sites5]

One comment on all that though, to balance any impression that this is all easy and the decision is obvious: I was 29 when I got my mind to where I was properly ready to basically allow myself to get infected. Personally, I deeply wish I'd made that decision at, say, 17, and stored up lots of memories of being the twinky cumdump down the years, but I didn't because I wasn't ready, and if I had ditched condoms before being ready to accept myself as poz, that might not have been a happy experience. The test is whether or not you're ready to be happy with yourself as a poz person, although let's see what PrEP does for that.

[XTF2020]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have gone through periods of taking anything that chums (raw) and periods of worrying, periods of active chasing and periods of just not chasing but feeling it's inevitable. In my heart of hearts I still long for that position you are in now, where it's behind you and you are ok with it and enjoying your status. Thanks mate.

[sites5]

@Jacobcumdump: Even after you convert, knowing it's a poz load is a turn-on. Why? One could argue, after all it doesn't change anything anymore, but that beautiful moment when the poz cum fills you just simply is better than when you don't know the top is positive.

[wood]

Hey,

I watch bareback porn all the time, especially gangbang breeding. I love it and want to be the cumslut taking all the loads I can. However, I'm scared about getting the bug, although recently bug chasing is a real turn on.

Any Advice?

Simple, if you are in the US, go on PrEP, and do what you want, If you are not, its more complicated than that. Go to the PrEP forum for more details if you are unfamiliar.

What you have to decide is if what you "want" is more fantasy or reality. A lot of guys see gangbang for and think OMG its so hot, I want it, but them the experience happens, and its actually not at all what they expected. For example taking multiple dicks for an extended period of time can get very painful, and you will be sore the next day. Some like it, some dont. I would NEVER recommend a gangbang for a novice bottom. If you haven't been getting fucked for years its a bad idea.

You also have to realize that getting the bug doesn't do anything besides complicate your life. Its a lifetime of pills, doctors appointments, etc, etc. And yes even healthy undetectable guys tend to get sick, and have medical issues more often than Neg guys. So you got to weight it. Also its doesn't mean complete freedom with fucking. unfortunately many poz guys get rejected, and you have to be aware of that. On that subject in many places not telling a sexual partner your status can lead you in jail.

Lastly if you are nervous at all about it, DONT DO IT! You can't go back once you get infected. Some things can be left a fantasy and still be fun.

[bberik]

I used to be scared too, so I've only been top for many years, but I have been sucking and swallowing for a few years now. However, a few weeks ago I met another top, thought I could suck him. But suddenly he decided to fuck me, and turned me around and pushed me onto bed, and entered my ass. He did ask if I had a condom, but I said no. It didn't stop him though, just went in (I would have told him to anyway). He came inside me, then he left. It turned me on so much, that I didn't take a shower until much later in the day. I just put a towel in the chair to sit on, and let the cum stay inside me for hours. I still don't want to be poz, but I know the risks. Actually not knowing is what turns me on.

I can't wait to go to Barcelona in a couple of weeks.

[cam1972]

Simple, if you are in the US, go on PrEP, and do what you want, If you are not, its more complicated than that. Go to the PrEP forum for more details if you are unfamiliar.

What you have to decide is if what you "want" is more fantasy or reality. A lot of guys see gangbang for and think OMG its so hot, I want it, but them the experience happens, and its actually not at all what they expected. For example taking multiple dicks for an extended period of time can get very painful, and you will be sore the next day. Some like it, some dont. I would NEVER recommend a gangbang for a novice bottom. If you haven't been getting fucked for years its a bad idea.

You also have to realize that getting the bug doesn't do anything besides complicate your life. Its a lifetime of pills, doctors appointments, etc, etc. And yes even healthy undetectable guys tend to get sick, and have medical issues more often than Neg guys. So you got to weigh it. Also its doesn't mean complete freedom with fucking. unfortunately many poz guys get rejected, and you have to be aware of that. On that subject in many places not telling a sexual partner your status can lead you in jail.

Lastly if you are nervous at all about it, DONT DO IT! You can't go back once you get infected. Some things can be left a fantasy and still be fun.

I couldn't agree more. Very well said.

[seaguy]

I couldn't agree more. Very well said.

I second that very good advice. What you see in porn you have to remember is done for entertainment ie so you can jack off to it. It's not meant to be a sex ed video or to show you how to live your lifestyle. Lately it seems that people forget porn is entertainment and so you get the condom queens screaming to ban bareback porn. Porn shouldn't be to blame it should be the lack of sex education in our schools especially after the Bush years of abstinence only.

[Poz1956]

I'd like to know where the rip in dimensional space/time is located. Can somebody direct me to it? I want to cross over into the parallel universe where some of the guys on here live. The one where being Poz is better than being Neg. The one where being Poz gets you more sex.

In my experience being Poz gets you LESS sex. Around 50% of guys agree with the statement "I will never knowingly sleep with a Poz guy." (Backed up by surveys in multiple countries on several continents) Another 20-30% won't agree with "never," but put conditions on it like "only if I loved the guy, or really trusted him." To be blunt, most Neg guys get really nasty, rude, and RUN as soon as they find out you're Poz. They pretend to want the truth, but punish anyone who gives them exactly what they asked for.

I think you need to separate the fantasy from reality. Start this way - Name 5 things that will be better because you're Poz. Are any of them not equally achievable by being on PrEP?

As a guy who's been Poz for more than half my life, I can tell you there are a fuck of a lot of unintended consequences that you haven't thought of. Like telling every doctor you see from now on. It complicates all other medial procedures. The way some rejections really hurt. Gossip and Stigma. Not disclosing just so you can "get some" is really stressful. How damaging to your self image "Clean," "D & D Free" or any of the other "not me" language gets, after reading it thousands of times. The early aging effects, like serious erectile dysfunction in your 50's, and the way ED drugs don't play well with some antiretrovirals.

Trust me - In real life being Poz isn't anything like the fantasies you've read or imagined.

[Guest]

I don't want to get poz, but im a bottom only, I only bareback, I take 2 Viagra before I meet men at a motel, all my inhibitions are gone and I don't even think about it, I love a bare cock pumping me, and love feeling his sperm flowing inside me. the Viagra makes me not be able to get enough sperm in me, and I love swallowing it then to. so far its ok, I don't think anyone has lied to me, they all say they are neg.

[Guest JizzDumpWI]

slide, why not get on PrEP then. Most HIV infections come from "neg" guys. One is neg until a poz diagnosos, but the truth is HIV testing lags about three months behind reality. The window period, that time one is infected but doesn't know it, iare those neg guys pozzing others.

[cam1972]

I'd like to know where the rip in dimensional space/time is located. Can somebody direct me to it? I want to cross over into the parallel universe where some of the guys on here live. The one where being Poz is better than being Neg. The one where being Poz gets you more sex.

In my experience being Poz gets you LESS sex. Around 50% of guys agree with the statement "I will never knowingly sleep with a Poz guy." (Backed up by surveys in multiple countries on several continents) Another 20-30% won't agree with "never," but put conditions on it like "only if I loved the guy, or really trusted him." To be blunt, most Neg guys get really nasty, rude, and RUN as soon as they find out you're Poz. They pretend to want the truth, but punish anyone who gives them exactly what they asked for.

I think you need to separate the fantasy from reality. Start this way - Name 5 things that will be better because you're Poz. Are any of them not equally achievable by being on PrEP?

As a guy who's been Poz for more than half my life, I can tell you there are a fuck of a lot of unintended consequences that you haven't thought of. Like telling every doctor you see from now on. It complicates all other medial procedures. The way some rejections really hurt. Gossip and Stigma. Not disclosing just so you can "get some" is really stressful. How damaging to your self image "Clean," "D & D Free" or any of the other "not me" language gets, after reading it thousands of times. The early aging effects, like serious erectile dysfunction in your 50's, and the way ED drugs don't play well with some antiretrovirals.

Trust me - In real life being Poz isn't anything like the fantasies you've read or imagined.

This. Exactly.