Low Self Esteem

[chargedodger]

Low self esteem may color ones sexual choices,but depression surely guides a choice towards adrenalin producing bareback sex.

[Guest ff-whole]

13 minutes ago, doitbb4me said:

Low self esteem may color ones sexual choices,but depression surely guides a choice towards adrenalin producing bareback sex.

Agree completely and can speak with experience...

I get my very highs from getting bareback gang banged and used as a total cum slut bottom...

Bi-polar by the way...

Edited April 30, 2017 by ff-whole

[rtpbbcub]

I would think that you would most likely find self esteem a poor indicator of bareback likelihood. Self esteem is a byproduct of other components of self, and while you might see some correlation, it's likely to have a high number of false positives if you try to use that as a litmus.  

Now, there are mental health issues in which you are more likely to see risk taking behavior including bareback sex.

As a previous poster mentioned they were bipolar, that should come with an asterisk regarding the association. First, that is for someone who is unmedicated, and second, barebacking would be a manic trait. Bipolar mania is usually accompanied by what looks like high self esteem, bipolar depression is usually accompanied by what looks like low self esteem. As someone who's ridden the bipolar merry-go-round, as a sexual partner, manic is when indiscriminate barebacking occurs, depression is often a social interaction shutdown on all fronts and having sex at all is so low on the priority list, it's not really worth mentioning. So, while bareback might occur during depression, and depression is connected with low self esteem, it's a nonsequitor. Sure, if you wanted to deal with fucking someone who hasn't showered, cleaned out, changed the sheets, etc., bareback is on the table, but it's not recommended. It's kinda nd of rape adjacent, like screwing someone who is unable to consent. 

The sexual behavior of a person who is bipolar is also out of touch with reality, both because of the high highs and low lows, and because they end up unable to separate fact from fiction. Whore by reading 50 Shades of Gray, prude by reading the Bible, their perception of self changes on a dime and facts are subjective. Like, "I'm a good mother, he's a good kid, and I've only slept with 10 guys, I'm not a slut or a whore" and "I threw the bastard out, he's just my stepson anyway, why should I support his loser ass, he's just going to jail anyway; I slept with 8 guys this week, none with a condom, two in a parking lot separately minutes apart, three guys in exchange for drugs," came out of a friend in a matter of like 48 hours. 

While I did fuck a bipolar ex during depression, once and only once, it was absolutely the worst sex ever. "Not that into it," doesn't been to describe it. More like, "not sure if you still have a pulse." Also the first time I had been with someone who was bipolar, and had no clue what I was getting into and sex was their idea, as an ex had left them for refusing sex during a depression and they were trying to avoid compounding depression with abandonment. 

Narcissistic personality disorder is also a good indicator of bareback likelihood, but that's usually going to be as a top, as narcissists tend to be "alpha males" and typically engage in presenting a hyper masculine facade. NPDs tend to have lots of low self esteem issues that they mask by exhibiting high self esteem, and, because of their machiavalian traits, tend toward abusing others to read the nforce that "self esteem" (in quotes because it's not self esteem, just an appearance). Cheating (as cheater or as the person cheated with), bareback, stealthing, tampering with birth control, poking holes in condoms, removing condoms, enticing someone into an inebriated state and taking advantage of them, date rape drugs, abuse of power or status, risky sex, public sex, BDSM, PNP, the list goes on and on, are all more likely with someone who is narcissistic. Lack of empathy causes both a lack of connection with others and a lack of respect for others, the combo of which swings the door wide open for risk taking, but again, not exactly because of self esteem. The bigger issue is that someone who is narcissistic has other issues going on, only part of which is self esteem. Their connections with others and their ability to experience pleasure requires that they frequently change partners and constantly "up the ante" to get pleasure. Pleasure derived by a narcissist comes from deceiving, harming, humiliating, and destroying others. 

So in either case, if you're trying to predict bareback behavior based on perceived self esteem, you're going to discard a lot of people. Many who will gleefully say one thing in their profiles, while doing something else entirely in practice. 

 

[Cwmslutbb]

I do kind of get where you're coming from (pardon the pun) but surely that would mean women who get penetrated vaginally have low self esteem 

I'm a bottom and always have and always will be but I just see it that my hole is there for taking cock and cum and being 'the woman' if you like when being fucked 

but again I do it because that's what my arse is for 

[rede4it]

I have spent a lifetime as a barebacking bottom homo.  I have worked hard to be damned good at taking cock and giving the best ass ride I can.  I am proud to be homo, proud to be a barebacker and proud to be POZ.   I see not evidence in my experience that would say that low self esteem lead to how I have expressed my homosexuality and my sexual desires.  Rather, I have found my lowest times of self esteem to be related to events that kept my queerness under wraps.

 

[Teeslad70]

I'm just a pathetic man.

[MuscledHorse]

Lie so many other things, rightly or wrongly, the idea of self-worth and being a bottom has been fetishized, though in reality, much of that relationship is vastly overstated. Yes, there are some self-loathing males who view themselves as worthless--to the point they want their genitals permanently caged as if they are a Southern Baptist and feminized by being forced to wear women's panties and stockings. Most bottoms, however, are in it for the Pleasure. I am a life long lover of being a bottom pig. I have solid self esteem, no problem stripping down in front of other guys or sexually engaging with them as the top. taking a guy's load has nothing to with value or self esteem for me. Rather, it is the sacred act of one male sharing his warm essence, his Elixir of Life with me purely for sport and Pleasure. I enjoy the taste of his nut juice and savor it like fine wine before I swallow it, or I savor the knowledge that his DNA is sprayed all over my fuck guts and his DNA is absorbing and becoming part of me. Unlike too many males--gay and str8--I can engage in sex play without the shame and guilt that's drilled into us from almost the moment we are born. So, for me being a bottom and taking loads is purley about the Pleasure of feeling another male's erect penis in me and him unloading his baby batter in my fuck guts.