rtpbbcub

In terms of where you are in the world and what laws apply to consent. A 13 year old (in many places) is no more consenting than a 75 year old in a coma. A 32 year old with severe mental impairment is not a consenting adult in some cases. Generally differentiating between desire and consent. All three may make statents or have desires that express consent (even before being in a coma or becoming severely mentally impaired) but that doesn't actually serve as consent in an individual that is not capable, legally, of consenting.

Ultimately the question comes down to a few different concepts. Consent, blanket consent, and autonomy. Can you consent to being a no loads refused bottom? Typically yes, but assuming you have the qualifications to do so (things like age, capacity, etc.) Do you have a right to give, or can you ever have an ability to give blanket consent to someone for unspecified future actions? Typically no, not legally, at least in the US. Functionally, many people do this all the time without ever having a second thought. But as we have seen with #metoo, that doesn't necessarily mean that today's consent or blanket consent cannot be tomorrow's rape claim. Of all the screwed up concepts surrounding sex, consent has become a field of landmines of potential reframing. Does that mean every sexual partner will do that to you, no, but anyone who has ever had a relationship end knows, the past has a way of changing colors when people are angry. Calling to check on someone can become controlling. Rough sex can become rape. A high sex drive can become coercion and sexual assault. Or so it seems. We have all had a moment, most likely many, that we did something with out partners that they didn't want done, and they may have went along with it to spare our feelings, to not create a problem, because they were too tired to argue, etc. And that will be one of the first things that will surface when love turns to anger. Essentially, and effectively, we are all guilty of rape and sexual assault under conditions in which even explicit consent isn't a concrete idea and is instead an abstract subject to future revision. That's the cold hard reality. And all of that feeds into the concept of autonomy. Which is the right to choose for ourselves. And really doesn't exist in that scenario. Consent doesn't tangibly exist and is ultimately in the eye of the beholder to the experience. You can be a Dom top using a bottom, a bottom being used by a top, a consenting sexual partner, or anything you choose to be in any sexual situation. Legally, you don't have the ability to do what you say, to give blanket consent to tops to do with you as they please to get off on being used. But functionally, that's what everyone is already doing. Every top is or is not using you, and every bottom is and is not being used. It's all about how any of the participants choose to see thebsexual situation. At least in the future after the event. And, in that context, if we look at Kavanagh and Ford (Supreme Court nominee and rape accuser) both are 100% correct about what did or did not happen. TLDR, in short, fantasy is now reality, you already have whatever experience you choose to say that you have had with someone. Even if it didn't actually happen. Welcome to a world that has completely divorced itself from the concept of reality being shared experience.

Don't make it a mission. This is called performance anxiety and it can snowball. Have sex for fun and cum if you want to, or not. Women fake orgasm all the time, you can still give a bottom the hot experience without giving him a load. Just enjoy the ride. Sometimes it really is all about who you're doing and not what you're doing. If you're monogamy oriented and you're out banging random, you're just not going to get there. Hottest piece of ass in the world will do nothing for you without a strong emotional connection. Fear will fuck up fucking. There are some people who get off on fear. Exhibitionists, for example, frequently get off on the fear of being exposed, of being caught, of the consequences for their "deviant" behavior. Cheaters, as another example, frequently get off on the fear of losing it all, on getting caught, etc. Fear is a great motivator, but for most people that's to stop doing what they are doing, not to cum. If you're seriously hung up on not catching something, and the guy in front of you who just gleefully agreed to your bare dick is causing you concern, and the letters "STD, STI, HIV, AIDS, HEP C, etc" are flashing through your mind like neon warning signs, no, you're not going to cum. Sexual Health Education is Great, but it's not Sex Ed. You passed the class on disease avoidance and knowing the parts, their role, how they work, and what goes where, yay! You didn't, however learn shit about sex. You were given lots of information that generalized and simplified a very complex act that's as different as every single person doing it. While there are similarities and commonalities, it's not just all insert Tab A into slot B and move in and out until ejaculation. That's basically how it works, but that's like describing eating as insert food into mouth, chew, and swallow. Yep, that's the mechanics of it, but that's got nothing to do with why we eat what we choose to eat, why we have favorite foods, etc. Sexual experience is way different. It takes people a long time to get there, and along the way you may have a lot of bad sex until you find your happy place. And you're not the only one, there's a lot of "hot sex" talk, but that's all it is, talk. What they are having may easily be shit that they wouldn't admit to under penalty of death. Instead, they Polish the turd and tell the tale. And that's about 80 of how the world works.

Things I've learned as an unattractive fat slut: Man tits/moobs are probably the best thing in the world. Bi guys like them, bi girls like them, lesbians like them, straight guys are intrigued by them, and a fair number of gay guys find them intriguing. I look back and wonder if all the times someone made fun of them as a kid, they had a hard on while doing so. Uber sexy men can't fuck for shit. I haven't met a 9 or 10 yet who isn't either a premature ejaculator, or has more than a rudimentary insert, thrust, repeat, and cum ability. I like getting fucked by them just for the lol. As bottoms, hot guys tend to either not know they are hot, or have hit the cum dump qualities expressed here. Small endowed guys are rarely anything short of amazing. And no matter how low you rank on their attractiveness scale, they will still throw a mean fuck. The only bad sex I've ever really had has been with used to be hot guys. They tend to just get weird, like it's an act of desperation to even show up, but then they go one of two ways, they either become sadistic (not a bad thing) or leave in a huff as if their ego just fucking lost all ability to deal with "what they have been reduced to." Being less attractive has its perks, not the least of which is meeting people at a level of openness that would otherwise be closed off if they found you more attractive. There tends to be this genuine quality about the interaction where, because you don't intimidate them causing them to front a more wholesome facade, you tend to get to the point faster and not pussy foot around. If they have a fetish you'll know about it quickly. If they like rough sex, they won't hold back. If they're about to cum, they just fucking cum. The only downside I've seen, and kid of touched on above, then dudes fuck without attraction, there is occasionally a rapey vibe to the sex, it's all about them and their orgasm, and they don't really give two shits about consent. While I find that hot, and have had more than a few things done to me that were like "wow, I would have at least asked or warned first, but okay, whatever, you do you," I can definitely understand how some guys would struggle with that. As an unattractive bottom you can end up dealing with a shit ton of people's personal shit. Sex being one of the most vulnerable actions between two people can drudge up a lot of emotional baggage. Especially rage and hurt feelings. I've had hookups turn into therapy sessions more times than I can count. Divorced guys, guys who just lost their jobs, guys in bad relationships, guys in tough situations, I have probably about as much experience as your local bartender in hearing someone's side of their life's problems. I've seen lots of guys cry, and seen the downside of this whole "str8 acting, man up, don't be a pussy" thing. Put them in the right situation and guys who don't even really have "problems" can end up bawling like babies and getting a hell of a lot of catharsis to the stress of feeling like they have to always "be the man."

On behalf of tops everywhere, thank you. I get that physically I'm not everyone's cup of tea so I may be having a vastly different experience than most, but you would not believe the value that someone who "gets it" has at this point. So, thank you for being out there and being a proactive and engaging bottom. From my experience, guys like you (the hope of meeting one at least) are the only thing keeping me from staying home and jerking one out.

And one more thing for interaction, focus on the guy in the room with you, not on getting the next guy. I get that guys want to be all Dawson Fifty Load Weekend, and you're trolling through hundreds of guys to make that happen, and that you may need to interact with them while I am fucking you, but they can wait a minute, you don't need to give them a response in 10seconds, and I shouldn't be ignored while you're cruising for more cock.

Depends on what "too long" is, and sometimes we forget that guys aren't machines that just just drop a load in 30 seconds or less. So let's assume, for instance, that you're moving into 15 minutes to 20minute territory as your average time to cum, as typical is 10 minutes +/-5. There's a host of things to consider. Age, environment, presentation, lubricant, and interaction to name a few common ones that I've run across that will slow an already slow to cum me into "probably not gonna happen" territory. As a guy in his 30s, age isn't a strong issue for me, but as guys age, they need a little more stimulation and excitement to pop. Environment can be a big one, yapping dogs, TV on non-porn, blaring radios, shitty neighborhoods, blaring sirens, screaming kids, strange smells, strong smells, hoarding, filth, excessive heat or humidity, proximity to others (neighbors, people I know, lurkers to the action, etc), anything that will make someone feel unsafe, uncomfortable, creeped out, paranoid, or like they are walking into a bad situation can all slow me down and keep me distracted. Not expecting white glove cleanliness in a well appointed room in a perfect house in a gated community, but I think we can all say we've had that experience where walking through the front door left you wanting a shower or to turn and run. I'd I feel like I'd have a better time and less need for a tetanus shot rolling around at the landfill, you're probably not getting my load. Presentation is another area where guys seem to think they can be slobs as well. I like bigger guys, we're not talking about just being overweight (though that can also be an issue for some tops, especially if you've lied significantly in your profile), but guys who's personal appearance and/or hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, who are so high they can't function or are spastic, are wearing frilly panties or thongs, those can all slow me down or send me running for the exit. And finally, interaction. This is where guys can do the most idiotic things that ruin a good lay. Some guys start from the beginning with "cum in me," and it's like they never let up on asking for the load, and it's like, "can you give me a fucking minute to get there without sounding like a kid in a toy store who won't take no for an answer? Conversely, there are the dead fish guys, completely corpse like with zero feedback whatsoever who miss all the cues that I need a little verbal or noise to get me over the top,the guys who are just non-resoinsive to things like "yeah, I'm getting close," "do you want my load," "you like that dick," etc. Then there are the guys who play 20 questions, similar to fucking while playing Jeopardy, they ask the most bizarre things that do nothing but make you stop and figure out what they just said because the question isn't remotely sexual or sexy time appropriate, or volunteer things like we're supposed to be debating shit on The View. Then there's the guy who "tries to help" a little too much. Yeah, offering a tighter hole may help some guys, but if you clamp down like a vice grip, you just slowed it down, not speeded it up. Also, if you've been fairly passive and suddenly go all take charge turbo power bottom, you're going to fuck up my rhythm and make my cock fall out. Those are the common things I've seen bottoms do to fuck up a situation. But one more thing to consider, some guys just don't pump and dump efficiently. I, for one, am not a three pump chump, 5minute warrior, 10minute lay, or a 15minute marathon. On a good day, horny as fuck, three day load, good mesh of excellent conditions, am still going to take about 20minutes. Guys like me, well, relax, enjoy the ride, I warned you ahead of time this wasn't going to be quick, so don't keep asking "if I came yet" like some snot nosed brat on a road trip.

This kind of perfectly sums up most of my issues with "barebacking" as opposed to "condoming." We've made a fetish out of normal sexual behavior and normalized a fetish. And done so to an extent we keep criminalizing normal sexual behavior, diluted consent to the point that we have to mother may I every fucking part of the experience to avoid going to prison, diluted rape to the point that the majority of men are either rapists or "rapey," and I don't think a single guy here (or anywhere else, under the terms set forth by the DOJ, can honestly say they have never committed sexual assault one way or another. At least, not if you've ever had an enjoyable (for either party, sexual encounter. What we are essentially advocating is mutual masturbation in the exact way someone else wants. Don't deviate from a pre-written script, don't ad lib, don't make a wrong move, don't dare to "get into the moment," and oh, by the way, make sure you're providing a porn star, rock my world, blow my mind and load orgasm. Holy shit guys, we (as a community) railed for decades to get rid of crimes against nature laws for the explicit reason that it legislated sexual behavior and placed government in our bedrooms (gay, straight, bi, trans, or whatever else alike), and now we sit and advocate for putting them back in? Oh but this time it's only because of a set of behaviors "we (some of us) find objectionable." Really? REALLY?! At what point do we realize that this panic and "there should be a law against that" mentality about morally objectionable behavior only hurts people, doesn't fix anything, and becomes yet another celebrity victim space? One more way for otherwise useless people to have their 15 minutes of fame while punishing someone they just didn't like and/or care about. To think that this changes sexual behavior or makes the world a better place is delusional.

I would think that you would most likely find self esteem a poor indicator of bareback likelihood. Self esteem is a byproduct of other components of self, and while you might see some correlation, it's likely to have a high number of false positives if you try to use that as a litmus. Now, there are mental health issues in which you are more likely to see risk taking behavior including bareback sex. As a previous poster mentioned they were bipolar, that should come with an asterisk regarding the association. First, that is for someone who is unmedicated, and second, barebacking would be a manic trait. Bipolar mania is usually accompanied by what looks like high self esteem, bipolar depression is usually accompanied by what looks like low self esteem. As someone who's ridden the bipolar merry-go-round, as a sexual partner, manic is when indiscriminate barebacking occurs, depression is often a social interaction shutdown on all fronts and having sex at all is so low on the priority list, it's not really worth mentioning. So, while bareback might occur during depression, and depression is connected with low self esteem, it's a nonsequitor. Sure, if you wanted to deal with fucking someone who hasn't showered, cleaned out, changed the sheets, etc., bareback is on the table, but it's not recommended. It's kinda nd of rape adjacent, like screwing someone who is unable to consent. The sexual behavior of a person who is bipolar is also out of touch with reality, both because of the high highs and low lows, and because they end up unable to separate fact from fiction. Whore by reading 50 Shades of Gray, prude by reading the Bible, their perception of self changes on a dime and facts are subjective. Like, "I'm a good mother, he's a good kid, and I've only slept with 10 guys, I'm not a slut or a whore" and "I threw the bastard out, he's just my stepson anyway, why should I support his loser ass, he's just going to jail anyway; I slept with 8 guys this week, none with a condom, two in a parking lot separately minutes apart, three guys in exchange for drugs," came out of a friend in a matter of like 48 hours. While I did fuck a bipolar ex during depression, once and only once, it was absolutely the worst sex ever. "Not that into it," doesn't been to describe it. More like, "not sure if you still have a pulse." Also the first time I had been with someone who was bipolar, and had no clue what I was getting into and sex was their idea, as an ex had left them for refusing sex during a depression and they were trying to avoid compounding depression with abandonment. Narcissistic personality disorder is also a good indicator of bareback likelihood, but that's usually going to be as a top, as narcissists tend to be "alpha males" and typically engage in presenting a hyper masculine facade. NPDs tend to have lots of low self esteem issues that they mask by exhibiting high self esteem, and, because of their machiavalian traits, tend toward abusing others to read the nforce that "self esteem" (in quotes because it's not self esteem, just an appearance). Cheating (as cheater or as the person cheated with), bareback, stealthing, tampering with birth control, poking holes in condoms, removing condoms, enticing someone into an inebriated state and taking advantage of them, date rape drugs, abuse of power or status, risky sex, public sex, BDSM, PNP, the list goes on and on, are all more likely with someone who is narcissistic. Lack of empathy causes both a lack of connection with others and a lack of respect for others, the combo of which swings the door wide open for risk taking, but again, not exactly because of self esteem. The bigger issue is that someone who is narcissistic has other issues going on, only part of which is self esteem. Their connections with others and their ability to experience pleasure requires that they frequently change partners and constantly "up the ante" to get pleasure. Pleasure derived by a narcissist comes from deceiving, harming, humiliating, and destroying others. So in either case, if you're trying to predict bareback behavior based on perceived self esteem, you're going to discard a lot of people. Many who will gleefully say one thing in their profiles, while doing something else entirely in practice.

Ummm, you might want to specify your username. This just opens to the my favorite videos of whoever clicks the link.

Well, found How It Spreads, I remember it, and not what I was looking for. Thanks though! Guess my biggest issue is that I long ago forgot the correct title.

How it Spreads may be one I have been looking for as well. The one I'm looking for, specifically, is a MM/MMF/MMMFF series that starts with a MM hookup between a bi poz guy and a bi married guy and ends in a drug fueled bi orgy with a pregnant woman. It's written first person from the bi Poz guy's perspective and has a Joe Friday "just the facts" vibe to it. I used to cum buckets reading that one.

That becomes a difficult question to answer. For me, I'm fine with it, face or not. I had a guy (way back as a baby gay, as in 19 and single digits of experience) who left his webcam on while we had sex and then told me about it afterwards. I was a mixed bag of reactions on it. Part of me was pissed, part of me was turned on. Part of me was relieved that it was a webcam, part of me knew anyone watching could have recorded it. Part of me wanted to punch him in the face, part of me somehow liked him more for doing it. I hit the top of the fence on that one, and didn't know which way I would fall off. I ended up going with the idea that, while I wouldn't have said yes if he asked and would have had a hundred or more objections whether it was an open webcam or a video recording, I kind of appreciated that he did it without asking for my consent. Strange, but I felt more comfortable with knowing after the fact, about not having a choice and not feeling self conscious about the camera. It ended up being kind of like losing one's virginity, lots of build up to the moment and no big deal after it happens. Then it, in a way, became a turn on. I began to assume everyone I have sex with might be recording it. Which is strangely exciting. Flash forward 15 years, we're still friends, and I'm even friends with his wife. He also kept his love of recording, so I have pics that would destroy his life, one's his wife knows nothing about. She thinks he just jerks off to gay porn. She has no idea how much more is going on. But I do. Which is kind of hot on a whole different level.

Eh, as a cock sucker I tend to max out at different times on different guys, based on how much effort is going into it on my part. Long and/or thick wears me out a lot faster that short and/or thin. Typically I can extend out the amount of time I can go for by "coming up for air" and moving my jaw around a bit. But that's only good up to a certain point. Or maybe I'm just doing it wrong or I have bad form. Or I just don't get the same amount of practice that I used to. But any more than 20 minutes of continuous, non-stop oral on an average dick will pretty much mean I'm eating soup for the next 24 hours or so, and my neck is probably a bit sore.

What you are looking for is completely unethical for a licensed doctor to do. On a completely unrelated note, isn't it horrible how many doctors show up in the news for doing unethical things, and end up losing their license?

We have to remember we are talking about more than just the activities and perspectives of one person, and that those activities and perspectives can have different meanings and implications in terms of any individual relationship. Let's be clear that cheating is any emotional involvement, physical intimacy, or other activity that crosses the boundry of friendship and sexual partner, outside of an established committed relationship(s). Yes, you can be polyamorous and cheat. The difficult part is defining when cheating behaviors and injury to relationship occurs, as it is dependent on the thoughts and feelings of each party in a relationship. If A thinks cheating injures the relationship at flirting (online or in person), and they would be devastated if they learned that B did so, but B thinks cheating starts at sex and would be devastated if A did so, then they have different thresholds for when cheating injures the relationship. This is not different definitions of cheating, the key is that the thresholds for that are different. Where it gets complicated is that A may meet C and be given the green light for anything but sex, and even though B may be interested in C as well, A may still maintain their threshold. It is "unfair" and unbalanced, but this can and does happen often. One person's threshold and the behaviors they are allowed to engage in do not change just because a partner or partners in a relationship are allowed to engage in different behaviors with someone else. So even though A is doing everything but having sex with B, B would still be injuring their relationship with A if they flirted with C, or anyone else. You may also run into a situation where A's flirting threshold only applies to one gender, only to friends, family, etc. In which case B can have sex with an escort or a random person they meet online (bareback or not) and their relationship with A is unharmed, but flirting with A's best friend would be injurious to the relationship. Some people also have thresholds that are subject to discussion. For instance A still has the same flirting threshold, but with discussion before anything happens and subject to their approval anything is possible, B may be allowed to pursue D, E, etc. all the way to bareback sex, yet still cause injury to the relationship if A isn't consulted and gives approval. This is probably one of the most difficult parts of a relationship that most people don't really understand or take for granted with their partners, or decide that what their partner wants is more of a guideline than a rule, or feel their partner has no right to ask thus of them, or feel their partner has nothing to do with it. While more common in relationships that have a very short shelf life, many people also get into situations that go too far and turn harmful faster than they can talk themselves out of it. And still others ignore their partners threshold out of spite or jealousy, or as an intentional disregard for others. Whatever you may want to call it, when you are in a relationship and you interact with someone else, or they are in a relationship and interact with you, it's cheating. The important part is how the partner(s) in valves with the two of you feel about that interaction and whether you respect or disregard the thresholds where injury to the relationship(s) occur.

Thinking about committing a crime and committing a crime are two very different things. You can be the biggest and baddest bigot on the planet and want to kill massive groups of people, key words "want to." Dream about it, fantasize about it, plan it, prepare for it. All of those things are legal, because until you do it, until you show up and point the first gun, it's just a thought. You never want thoughts to be criminalized. Because where does one draw the line in thought crimes? Actions, however, like shooting up a night club, are criminal. And that is where the police can, and do, get involved. Prior to that action, all that anyone can do is discuss a person's thoughts and try to keep tabs on that person. You can offer them help. You can try to get them to not do it. You can tell them what will happen if they do. But, that's pretty much it. And while we can try to dissuade criminal action with tough on crime tactics, that generally only works for dispassionate and relatively minor crimes. It is doubtful that a single drug addict, a single child rapist, or a single bigot has ever been dissuaded from committing their crime because of the potential jail time. Ratchet those times up all you want, it just means that going out "in a blaze of glory" is the result. It typically only delays the action and intensifies it's release. Which is also the issue with trying to make thoughts, and their expression, illegal. You won't decrease the thoughts, only alter their expression, increasing the likelihood that they will be expressed with greater intensity. How do you make a fight worse? Tell someone to shut up, calm down, or both.

I'm with iosam, meeting guys anonymously always has an element of risk involved. And that risk increases and decreases dramatically depending on where you are. For instance, in the south you are more likely to catch something, versus the north where you would be much less likely. Welcome to the issues generated when sex, education, religion, and gossip meet. Throw in HIV criminalization, pop stigma and some big old closets and you end up with a powder keg. It basically sounds like you have an interest in bareback sex, but not necessarily the commitment to it to accept the responsibility of risk in having it,at least not anonymously. While the vast majority of men are in fact HIV negative, as well as not having other STIs, you really would be playing Russian Roulette with dicks when having anonymous sex.

Horse goes before the cart. You're assuming that stars who do bareback on camera start off as safe, and not as barebackers. And you are ignoring that drug use, specifically IV drug use, doing porn, and prostitution, have a very sordid history together. Some porn stars start out as fresh faces, some as prostitutes, and others as drug users, and when they do porn, and all of these different issues mix together, the results can be everything from some "bad choices" on up.

Eh, I never had a problem with it realoy, but most of my relationships have been long distance. Which probably says a lot about me, I keep aspefts of my life seperated to a point that they don't interfere with each other. Though I never really had a problem orissue with having sex with others while in a relationship. And I'm frequently the "other man" and don't feel bad about that either, well, unless I step on one of their kid's legos. Then I feel bad. For me the idea of monogamy never made much sense, especially not for gay couples, but even for straight couples. I'm not deluded enough to think I, or someone I am with, is going to be all that and a bag of chips. So I have never had issue with open relationships from my end. I'm kind of an enabler/encourager in that regard. I frankly don't get jealous like that. Like I would gladly sleep on the couch while my other half got laid by some other dude if they wanted to be alone. Or if they were out all night. And frankly, I wouldn't much care whether condoms were used or not, or whhether there were STDs involved. It isn't that big of a deal. I mean, I am of course concerned with whether they are alright and whether they are safe in other ways (like, please don't end up in someone's freezer or tied to a post and set on fire), but otherwise, do as you want and have fun. I think a lot of couples create their own problems in a relationship by not allowing each other to be themselves, trying to become some perfect couple ideal that's been held up as the gold standard of what love is, when there are so many ways to love each other and be together.

Not to dissuade you from getting things checked out by a doctor or any if the other suggestions here, but there are many reasons for erectile dysfunction. Poor diet, no exercise, low testosterone, anxiety, fear, guilt, depression, substance abuse, medications, just to name a few. Essentially sexual function is almost a barometer (pun intended) of overall health. Not just physical health, or sexual health, or hear health, etc., but how well the whole animal that is you is doing. Call it a glitch of evolution, or an annoying aspect of biology, but sexual function is intended to occur when an animal is best able to produce and care for offspring. That it's also fun to have sex and children are not a desired/possible outcome is irrelevant to biology. Your system is set to make sexual function the first thing that goes down (okay, that pun wasn't intentional, but I like it) if everything else isn't in balance or in good working order. Basically, you can end up exploring lots of avenues of possibility, but some mindfulness of yourself (what you are doing, how you are feeling, what you want, what you need) may give you some fast answers about what is going wrong with getting it up. And yes, something as simple as wanting to settle down, or worrying about your bank balance, not sure if you are going to make this month's rent or car payment, or working at a job you hate can be the problem.

The word no one seems to be saying is rejection. It's what it all boils down to, fear of rejection. You can dress it up a hundred different ways, but that's what it is. And that's what you have to find a way past. And it's the same thing for guys who do great at relationships but can't get laid in a boathouse because they won't go in. Or who don't have sex or date because they won't even put themselves out there. We all have comfort zones, we all have discomfort zones. And it's because ascribe different values to different types of rejection. Guy online doesn't reply, what do you do? Guy in a bar doesn't give you his number, what do you do? It's all the same thing, but we think of it in different terms. We have expectations of what's going to happen next, what want to happen next, and what might happen next. And there's a tool for that called flooding. Take the situation that you are afraid of rejection in, and push through it by asking for things gradually until you get comfortable with the thing you are afraid of being rejected for. Make it a game. Try to get rejected. Because 99% of people are actually cool. Even when they are not interested. And you eventually learn that you have made yourself afraid of something that most likely wouldn't happen.

Maybe not quite the same, and warning, vag trigger. My first time was with a girl and safe sex had been drilled into both of us in school. Not to mention the general fear she had of getting pregnant and being know as the stupid slut. So until about thirty seconds after the condom was on and I was in, I was as diehard as anyone on safe sex. Including the pill, diaphragms, sponges, condoms, and spermicide. All of which she chose to use simultaneously. And then proceeded to spend the entire time saying "please don't get me pregnant." That would be my breaking point really. Because that was when I asked the question "is this all that sex is?" Internally, I'm not that rude. Unfortunately. Turns out I might have been better off if I had said that out loud (in a sense, I guess) as she was apparently thinking much the same. And she ended up screwing my best friend without a condom.

I've always found fuck buddy to be a misnomer, fuck acquaintance is more like it for me. Kind of like the guy or girl or whatever that works at the corner store that you one day realize you know far too intimately based solely on the safety of anonymity. You don't know them, maybe not even a real name, and may only be able to pick parts of them out of a lineup, yet, there's still something there that is more than two strangers passing on the street, without all the demands of having to deal with a whole person. And without having to be particularly anyone to each other, or fail at being that person and see that look that screams "Oh my God, who the hell are you?" All the fun and hazards of a drunken travel fuck, minus the expense and time off work. You get to be who you are, or who you aren't, or a mix of both, with someone who doesn't really care either way, and may be doing much the same. And it's not like the storyline even has to be believable. Porn sex, camera optional.