Dealing With Stalkers

[RWHID]

Well, I guess I can now say the stalker and my ex that I had remained friends with were working together. My ex was arrested Friday for parole violation and they found text on his phone where he was texting with the number the stalker used. I can also confirm the guy I met from Poz Personals that claimed to be a few towns away, but would never meet, was also my ex playing with me.

 

I went on a date for the first time since July and halfway through the date he decides to tell me he was fucking my ex the first week the ex and I got together. I lost all interest from that point. I would love to find a nice guy that HASN'T been involved with my ex in some way!!!

[bbzh]

I know this situation with your ex was an important (and traumatic) episode in your life. That being said, I really think you should refrain from discussing your past relationships when you start new ones. Whenever a guy I was dating started talking about his ex, I immediately thought "hmm, he'll probably do the same to me." It's a quick way to lose "cool points" fast. 

 

Also, and I'm not trying at all to be preachy here, but nothing bothers me more when guys I meet want to compare notes on guys we might know in common. If we fuck, what we do/did stays between us. I don't kiss and tell. Nothing really good ever comes out of that.

 

It's not this new guy's fault he slept with your ex. How could he have known about you?

 

It doesn't seem like you live in a big city, so you are all fishing out of the same, smaller pond.  

[BttmReady]

Great advice, bbzh!

[RWHID]

I know this situation with your ex was an important (and traumatic) episode in your life. That being said, I really think you should refrain from discussing your past relationships when you start new ones. Whenever a guy I was dating started talking about his ex, I immediately thought "hmm, he'll probably do the same to me." It's a quick way to lose "cool points" fast. 

 

Also, and I'm not trying at all to be preachy here, but nothing bothers me more when guys I meet want to compare notes on guys we might know in common. If we fuck, what we do/did stays between us. I don't kiss and tell. Nothing really good ever comes out of that.

 

It's not this new guy's fault he slept with your ex. How could he have known about you?

 

It doesn't seem like you live in a big city, so you are all fishing out of the same, smaller pond.  

 

You are right, but I wasn't the one to bring it up. It was as if he already knew who I was before meeting me. While talking on the phone I said nothing about my ex, except it was bad and wasn't going that way again, and if it started to go the same direction I was ending it. When he showed up he already knew who I was and knew about my ex. A friend said it seemed like a set up, which it could have been, as I started talking to him before the ex ended up in jail last week. I could also tell he was pissed because I wouldn't fuck. I just wanna meet someone and take the time to get to know them and see where it goes. Everyone in the area and surrounding just seems to want sex and nothing else. I try to talk to guys on Grindr that claim they just want friends, but within 5 minutes it's the "you're a bottom so we can't talk" lines.

[RWHID]

Thought I'd share an update. The stalker is now in jail, arrested last week for probation violation, and he looked strung out. Also, the ex that I still believe set this all up was back in the news (he went back to prison in September), this time they announced new chargers. Apparently while we were dating that one month, he hooked up with another guy I know that was visiting and decided to rape a boy. I can never seem to pick any good guys. Anyone around Southeast Missouri wanna chat? LOL

[Guest]

I have had many over the years.  Before my husband, it got scary a few times and I had to involve the police.  Since my husband, all I have to do is tell him, and he scares the shit out of whoever won't leave me alone.  I like aggressive guys though, so I won't make a fuss about it unless I feel like my life could be in danger.  A lot of guys get super assertive and aggressive with me, and I don't want that to stop.