Thoughts?

[Guest diapbttmboi]

I've always been a total bottom. I never have topped, recently though I've been thinking more and more about fucking younger lads around me. Is it normal to change your role randomly?

 

Also I get a lot of offers from guys to suck me, however, as much as I enjoy being sucked I always go soft. Every single time. I never cum from it and it leaves the sucker feeling pretty crappy when I go limp in their mouths. It's every time.

 

Any thoughts appreciated guys. Thanks.

[andrewark]

I think it's great that you want to try topping! I'm vers so I enjoy both and I see no reason to limit yourself

 

I'm sorta in the same boat as you are with getting head. I love it a lot, but most of the time I will not cum from it or it will usually take so long for me to cum from it that they will give up or get tired. I have only cum from head alone (no jacking during it) only about once or twice. I guess that guy just happened to be an expert at head hehe. I much prefer to be the one sucking. I don't mind if it takes a long time to suck them and work a load out of them.

 

Hope you get to top soon!

[tallslenderguy]

I've always been a total bottom. I never have topped, recently though I've been thinking more and more about fucking younger lads around me. Is it normal to change your role randomly?

 

Also I get a lot of offers from guys to suck me, however, as much as I enjoy being sucked I always go soft. Every single time. I never cum from it and it leaves the sucker feeling pretty crappy when I go limp in their mouths. It's every time.

 

Any thoughts appreciated guys. Thanks.

I think one of the advantages of being "gay," or just different from heteronormative really, is that our reality sets us up to question the "norm."  For years in recent history heterosexual was called "normal" and homosexuality was "deviant" or "abnormal."  Culture(s) seem to be forever trying to put a static label on stuff as a point of reference. 

 

Ok, you may be wondering where the fuck I'm going with this? Really, just making a distinction between what is considered a cultural norm and what may be physically "normal." From what I read, you don't have any physical issues that preclude you getting erect and maintaining an erection? You're still pretty young, so likely do not have vascular issues that effect your ability to get and stay hard.  

 

It seems to me that your going soft while getting a bj is mental/emotional vs physiological. I.e., it's not that you physiologically can't get hard, you start out that way, but for some mental/emotional reason getting a bj doesn't keep you aroused. Our sexual physiology is  wired into both those things (our mind and emotions), they both can effect our erection.  Your statement: " I always go soft. Every single time. I never cum from it and it leaves the sucker feeling pretty crappy when I go limp in their mouths"  can become a self fulfilling prophesy. I.e., if you are convinced you will always go soft and never cum when getting a bj, you probably won't. It's not that you're physically incapable of getting hard or cumming (I imagine you do both?), but that for what ever reason some part of you does not want to. 

 

There's probably not a guy on this forum who has not experienced psyching themselves out of a hard on. I was married most of my life, so I was a top most of my life when it came to the opposite sex. I had no problem getting hard. I could get hard on demand, and often when I didn't demand it lol. After I divorced 7 years ago, I've been living as totally gay. I've only ever been with one woman, but cannot count the number of men I have been with, easily hundreds (I cheated a lot while married). When I was married, I was pretty versatile in my gay sex life. As I have gotten older, I have become more bottom to the point I am almost exclusively bottom now. Along with that, I no longer become erect all that easily. 

 

This is just a theory on my part, but I am in healthcare and have observed that the body shuts down areas that are not being exercised. It's true about muscle, bone, our brains. I wonder if the same isn't true sexually? I.e., if we're not 'exercising' our cocks to penetrate, we become less capable of doing so? But then, the opposite is probably true too. I.e., if we start exercising again, we build muscle mass (this becomes less true once one gets older, but you're not there yet). But just like the guy who hasn't lifted weights for years cannot start out bench pressing 350 lbs because he is deconditioned, the guy who has only fucked a couple of times in the last several years may also be 'deconditioned' and may need to "exercise" that part of himself to regain the same (or more) ability? 

 

I do not think it is normal or abnormal to change and want to fuck, I think it's simply the course your life is taking for reasons that are particular to who you are. I do believe you could top and stay hard and cum while getting sucked if it's something your whole person wants.  You may not start out being able to do it on demand, you may have to exercise to be able to reawaken and reach your full potential, but I think you are physically built for it if you want it.

 

some thoughts for what they may be worth

[ckt]

Yeah, I feel similarly to you OP.

Heading into my mid-20's, and suddenly topping guys 18 to 23 seems right.

I also always get bored and go limp from receiving oral sex.

This mystifies a lot of people, and even when you try to manage expectations they still get disappointed.

It's a shame really.

[hungry_hole]

I've always been a total bottom. I never have topped, recently though I've been thinking more and more about fucking younger lads around me. Is it normal to change your role randomly?...Any thoughts appreciated guys. Thanks.

I've seen so many profiles of guys who describe themselves as a top with younger and smaller guys and as a bottom with older and bigger guys. Or it could be the opposite.

 

In gay sex nothing is written in stone. At the sauna sometimes bottoms like to breed an anon hole before going home. Or others can be a top but only in a gang-bang. It may sound weird but I get a thrill at the sauna when I get bred by a bottom who just wants to unload and go home. I find that bottoms usually don't last very long when they top.