Hookup Advice For Poz

[breederboy]

So I'm poz, and a top. And I need some advice for how to improve my luck meeting guys for fun, regular buddies. I'm having problems meeting guys.

I'm on several of the sites, adam4adam, bbrts, grindr..On a4a and bbrts I have my status as undetectable so as to filter out anyone who might have an issue with that. Just makes things easier, although I get very very few hits, and I am a young in-shape guy and reasonably hung, so I assume many people are just scared off my my status.

 

How should I handle it on grindr? I am a young guy, so I get as horny as anyone else. I am poz and undetectable, I list as my tribe "poz", so I assume any guys who hit me up would assume that I am poz.

 

Some guys hit me up and never ask my status, so if they don't ask, do I need to tell them? If they are willing to do bb? One guy said he would bb if I was "clean" but I told him I was poz and undetectable and he stopped talking to me.

 

So how can I get more hits being a poz guy? Do I have to tell every single guy that wants to hook up with me I am poz unless they ask? I am kind of tired of being a young guy with a huge libido but not getting much any action.

[LKMike]

Thats funny. As a poz undetectable guy you are the second safest guy to bb with after a monogamous known neg partner. i wont bb with guys who say they tested neg 8 months ago and are sure they are "clean". You can only hope to find more educated guys. Being in London where the chances of getting pozed are way above average, you would think you would be in high demand as a safe sex bb partner for neg guys. Dont know what to tell you, but just keep trying and educating.

[breederboy]

It's just discouraging. My question is how to approach it without having to get into some long lengthy lecture about what undetectable means when I really just want to get laid.

 

Guys always ask me if I am d/d free and clean. What the fuck does that even mean? So back to my question. On grindr, when guys chat me up, do I have to tell them I am poz every single time I want to hook up with a guy, unless he asks point blank?

 

I spend day after day on grindr and am just not getting any hits and I have a nice face pic and everything on there. I don't get it.

[LKMike]

If your profile says poz undetectable, i would think anyone hitting you up can be considered informed. i have more luck on BBRT and Squirt. Seems especially on bbrt, guys are not concerned about status, well apart from the guys gifting or chasing! 

[barefootbob]

I would tell the truth, the ramifications of not telling the truth could be dire.  with that amazing cock of yours I would not turn it down.

[BarebackFan]

Have you tried Scruff? I've read the guys there are less judgmental. I've read a lot about guys on grindr being total jerks to poz guys.

 

To LKMike's point, poz/undetectable guys are really unlikely to pass the virus. If I was single and not on prep, I'd only date poz/undetectable guys.

[snaketat]

Interesting that you, as a top, have the same issues as many of us bottoms do.  Connecting for sex seems to be somewhat hit and miss. I know that as I was in the midst of my brief chasing career, I took any top that was willing to show his cock.  And, even though I am a bit older and a eunuch, I had plenty of guys that wanted to fuck.  Still, it comes down to luck and attitude.   I tend to post quite a bit on some sites....so many guys have some idea of who I am and what I am into.   I have always had the opinion that I needed to make sure that guys understood that I was available and enthusiastic...but not pushy or desperate.   Still I have had long dry spells.....but I have also had some times when I was getting fucked senseless.  

 

A smile and a positive attitude (not just a POZ-itiive attitude) seems to help me a lot.

[tboyer]

Breederboy, I'm so surprised that an attractive guy like you is having this issue. I think it's where you live.

In San Francisco I'm very up front about being poz and wear a bio hazard t-shirt when I go out (I get more

attention that way)

When I'm at a sex club I'll even tell the guy to "fuck this poz ass" (as apposed to having a clinical discussion)

[breederboy]

I think so too attitude is everything. And sometimes, if a guy does want to meet me, our schedules don't always match up at any given time, but sometimes if you suggest planning for another day, a guy gets weird and thinks your playing games. But I try to make good faith effort for any guy I'm interested in if he doesnt live too far away. Going to meet a guy tomorrow I've chatted with for a week or so. Seems like a cool guy, wants to cuddle and netflix & maybe some fun thrown in. I think he thought I was playing games because my schedule was too busy to meet this week but I'm planning on going to meet him at his place tomorrow. Hopefully it will be fun & he will be a cool guy. He wanted me to come today but I'm at family's for the new years thing. So wish me luck he looks like a hot guy hopefully he'll be cool and sane lol

[nekofox]

You're pretty much doing the right thing overall for being upfront, especially with trying to just have some fun, period.  All in all, it's probably coming down to who's in your area for either giving you a shot or not.

 

That's the issue that's been plaguing me and a few others here in my area.   Keep plugging away breederboy, you're doing fine, just the people who prefer to go overboard and not give you a shot that are missing out on a good thing.

[breederboy]

I don't get guys. Some guys seem cool and hit me up but seem to want to be friends instead of fucking. I mean I'm cool with that, but sometimes I just need a hot fuck. One guy has been asking me over and over but he's only free at night when I am not free due to work and so we haven't been able to do it yet. Why is hooking up this hard lol. Maybe it's where I am, I don't know. Just know that I am logged on adam4adam and bbrts for ages and don't get single responses or anyone seeming interested. I have a decent dick and can fuck for ages too and cum a ton. But guys are missing out because they won't give me a chance.

 

I've been on grindr all day and nobody chats on there either. I hit some up asking if they needed fucked, but no response.

Seems like it's all talk.

 

The guy who wants me to come visit him tomorrow seemed more interested in friends, not sure what his agenda is. I really just want to fuck. He says he's a cuddler, I'm not that into cuddling to be honest. But he thinks it's a good idea apparently.

[Ddawg]

You're being honest and upfront, so the problem is them, not you. Do I have any suggestions? Hmm. I have room in my bed here in the greater Boston area!

[breederboy]

Lol who knows. Dry spell I guess. The guy who wants me to come visit him seems to be more about friends/cuddling. Last week we had made plans to meet at a certain time but he wasn't around when the time came but then he got pissy afterwards claiming he was online when he wasn't lol. Weird. Now he's wanting me to come visit him and "cuddle" and be "friends" but I really just want to fuck, I'm not really into cuddling. But if I don't go, he'll probably get pissy so what do I do. 

[BarebackFan]

Sounds like he wants you to do what you don't want to do .. in order to get what you don't want. 

 

That sucks.