Suicide And Gay Males

[BlindRawFucker]

Suicide is much higher in the gay male community than in the general population, particularly for those in their teens and early twenties.

 

Has anyone here attempted suicide, or had a close friend who attempted or actually succeeded?

 

I realize this is a sensitive subject, so if the moderators feel it should be deleted, please do so.

 

Following the events of this past week in Orlando, may have brought back some old feelings for some people.  If so, please talk to someone!

 

Attempting to overdose was my choice when in my early twenties.

Edited June 18, 2016 by BlindRawFucker

[Guest ff-whole]

Hi, just for the record, I am bisexual and I suffer from Bi-Polar disorder.

And I am pretty sure in my case that my condition has nothing to do with my sexual preference.

It's a good topic though...

 

I like to think that the reason why [gay] people commit suicide has maybe more to do with having a mental disorder which is terrible, rather than having a certain sexual preference. But that is just my humble opinion.

 

Just recently I have started on medical cannabis oil and next to alleviating my rheumatism pains caused by Chicungunya and a reducing a couple of other health issues, it does help alleviate my depressions better than anything I tried before. I have had some serious thoughts committing suicide recently [after going to Berlin and get loaded with cum and really pig-out or something]. I have tried to take my own live when I was in my 20's. I have been struggling with my life from a very young age.

[fuckrogerbb]

I attempted suicide in my thirties. After my third failed relationship I felt like a failure and that I would never get that perfect union I sought. I took a whole bottle of booze with a whole bottle of sleeping pills. I obviously survived. I had thrown up and apparently that was enough to stay alive. I said I would never even try for a relationship again and I haven't. I'm 68 now. At times it has been lonely, but I really do like being with myself and entertaining myself. I have sex when I can which is frustratingly not very often now. Something inside of me died that night and it has never come back.

[Guest ff-whole]

I hear you @fuckrogerbb...

After my divorce I've tried a few very short-lived try-outs...

Like you, I found solace in the fact that I could truly decide at any given second what I want to do,

Lonely....? Sometimes more often just simply alone...

Edited June 19, 2016 by ff-whole

[BlindRawFucker]

I believe that the high suicide rate is because as a young person, you feel there is absolutely no one with whom you can talk.  And, often, you think you are the only person in the world with these feelings.

 

Trust me, I did.  The total loneliness was so difficult.  Seeing everyone else with someone, and you being all alone.  Throw being blind on top of that, and....

 

I've never had a relationship, and never will.  I'm fortunate if I have sex once a year.  sometimes as long as four years in between.

 

However, lots of sex doesn't mean you aren't lonely.  And, often, it means just that.

 

Thanks for sharing.  I truly wish all of us the best.

[einathens]

I believe that the rate of gay-related suicide is getting lower. there may be other factors, but in my opinion, that one is on the decline.

 

shame and secrecy are no longer automatically part of dealing with sexual orientation. the issue is more open, more matter-of-fact, than it used to be. it's no longer seen as a bad thing by everyone.

 

yes, there are cultures and religions and individuals whose thought processes are stuck in the past, and growing up surrounded by that and knowing you're different can still be difficult, overwhelming, seemingly impossible.

 

but now there are support groups, coping strategies, and safe spaces like never before, both online and in real life. acceptance is out there, and it's easier to find than ever.

 

I don't mean to minimize anyone's pain or trivialize their experiences. I just want to point out that we are not alone.

[breederboy]

I struggle with depression and have attempted suicide twice. It's not something I talk about much but I have no doubt that suicide among gay males is higher because of the ongoing stigmas and being ostracized in a primitive culture. Once I slit my wrists and another time I thought about jumping off a building or bridge. I still think about it. Having a tough time right now. Depression never leaves it just comes and goes and some days are better than others. I oddly enough feel sometimes more excluded by the gay community. As a poz guy, I get a lot of discrimination and am continually labeled and put down by people saying things like "be ddf" or "be clean" as if I am dirty or something because I have hiv. It hurts, and I am depressed a lot over it. I don't really have any friends or anyone to talk to. I don't feel I fit in anywhere. It seems like all the gays are hyper masculine and if you're not a bear or a lumberjack then they won't talk to me. I feel I am continually labeled as a token gay because I am not hyper masculine. I'm not a raging flamer either, but whatever. I was severely bullied in high school because of my sexual orientation, and was often physically attacked, and nobody did anything about it. I still to this day don't trust people. I am hyper vigilant and always on the alert for someone who might come after me. I feel like an outcast at work too sometimes, it's like people talk to me but I feel like nobody values me as a person, like everyone just sort of snickers behind my back and thinks I'm the happy go lucky token gay, that's just how I feel. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but lately my depression is pretty bad I am crying a lot for no reason and I try and keep a brave face on because the world has enough problems without my own added, but anyway just wanted to add my two cents. Sometimes I wish I had a friend, a male friend, someone I could talk to about guy things, without sex needing to come involved, I've never had that, a true, real friendship with another gay guy, but sometimes I wish I did. I feel lonely a lot. I don't feel valued as a person by anyone. It's been a few years since I last attempted suicide, but I still think about it sometimes. I am just trying to stay strong.

[Tightass74]

I think you're awesome, BreederBoy!

Edited June 19, 2016 by Tightass74

[Guest ff-whole]

When I was traveling through South America I came across a supply store for veterinarians and bought myself a bottle of barbiturates. Basically a strong sedative to be able to operate on animals but drinking a whole bottle would let a human sleep in, never to wake up again. I have it in my fridge because I like to feel comfortable having it in case I run out of options to keep living.
Right now I use Cannabis Oil every day and it soothes my pains but also relaxes my brain and the depressions are less.

These days where governments are relaxing their fight against Cannabis and taking medicinal Cannabis out of illegality is great.

I suggest you try it... become a little bit more human and 'normal' again.

Don't slid your wrists... It's messy and totally unproductive... You will live and the telltale scars are an added shame as well will be the memory. 

[breederboy]

What makes me depressed a lot is that I feel rejected and just ignored by guys. Guys just don't chat with me much. Maybe they think I am not masculine enough, maybe not buff enough, I'm not sure. But I feel like an option, and a fleeting one at that, and not a priority, never a priority. Guys will hit me up online chat and seem interested then just stop talking to me. Or ask for pics, and then just pretend they're interested, and just clam up. I don't get it. Maybe it's because I am poz, or maybe ugly, or maybe not masc enough, too fem, I am not sure. I just don't like myself very much. I just feel lonely a lot. I don't have a bud to hang with, cuddle with or anything. Guys I have met before just seem like they disappear or never keep in touch. I'm not looking for a boyfriend, just someone to talk to now and then and hang with would be nice. And preferably someone in person I could do that with. Pride is tomorrow, and yet again I won't be going because I have noone to go with because I don't want to go by myself and look stupid.

[drscorpio]

I think a lot of us have similar issues with guys online, breederboy. Try not to let it get you down. The hookup scene is full of flakes.

Maybe you should look at joining some kind of gay charity, community service, or other common interest group. That's a great way to make gay friends.

Honestly, I think you should go to Pride. I can't imagine your being the only one there by themselves. Also, it would be a great way to find an organization to join. They will all be looking to find new members there.

In any case, I hope you find this community welcoming. We like you here. *hugs*

[breederboy]

So far I haven't felt welcomed by the gay community at all, and I am as openly gay as they come. I just feel rejected and passed over. As far as organizations to join I wouldn't know where to start. Maybe I'll look into it sometime.

I went to pride a few years ago and spent tons of time there (by myself) but nobody talked to me everyone was there in groups and I ended up sitting on a sidewalk alone and people walking past me. I don't want to go through that again so mostly I avoid such events now. It seems nobody wants to get to know me.

[breederboy]

Just never get why I get on grindr scruff and hardly ever get any responses. On grindr, I might get maybe 5-6 hellos per week if that. It's like I have the plague or something. I have clear face pics posted too not torso. Occasionally people will chat but nothing ever comes of it. It seems like they chat but then lose interest and devolve into "lol"s. Not asking for much, just a buddy or two to hang/cuddle/play with maybe, but guess that's not happening.

[einathens]

breederboy, you might be fishing in too shallow a pond. grindr and scruff and such are geared toward younger guys, who tend to seek what's familiar, guys just like them.  most of what I hear from there are 20yos with daddy issues.

 

if you must search online, I'd recommend sites like growlr, bbrt, bear411, barebackbears, and such.  

 

I bet a better option would be taking a break from the online world and venturing into the real world. go to the places grown men go, do the things adult males enjoy. volunteering is a great way to meet men share your interests.

 

if nothing else, know that you're appreciated here.