Scared to move forward

[dwinters]

I've lurked on this site and watched and read posts and stories. 

 

Im a married guy. Have a BBC and love to fuck guys with big asses. Whether you have a big ass just by chance, husky boys, chubs, whatever. I'm an ass man. 

 

I also have an oral fixation, so love to eat ass but have always loved sucking cock. As much of a dominant guy I am when I top, there's nothing like sucking dick. sit back and let me work or stand over me and fuck my throat. 

 

Been wanting to get fucked because I really haven't. I started PREP cause I don't want to bring anything home. Sometimes i go to the local video store and fuck an ass at the hole, or suck and swallow some dick and go on about my business. I can actually shoot my own dick off just from sucking a dick, especially if there's dirty talk. 

 

ON PREP but still scared to take cock that i don't know in my ass bare. I have one older daddy that will fuck me when I have the house to myself, which is not very often. He fucks my throat, turns me over, fucks me and zips up in less than 5 minutes.  THere's another big football player looking dude that will on occasion, but I always feel like I'm begging him so it rarely happens. Wifey was away and he works close by and never returned my text until today. I was so horny that on the way to picking up wifey at the airport, i went to the video store. I sucked this guy that was questionable, but it got so big and hard. I was still loose and open from playing with my dildo in hopes of being al little loose so it would not hurt so bad, that next thing i know i backed my ass up and he fucked me. i'm not sure he came again, but think he did. I got a load in my mouth before hand, so when i went back to sucking him, i tasted his cum again. 

 

Now I'm freaking out. Is PREP working for people. I sometimes here that people have turned while on PREP. Have the love of my life and certainly do not want to bring anything home. But I also want to be pounded. 

 

I would love to have a top guy that wants to fuck a black guy. in the PNW, guys only seem to want a big black dick up their ass. I can dole it out with the best of them. But when my sub side rears it's ugly head, there's nothing but silence. There's not too many people here not hung up on race, so there's that. I'm also tall and muscular and look like I should be playing football, so folks have the stereotype that i'm a dom BBC (90% it is true LOL)

 

I want to be careful, but I really want to get used. I keep thinking of making an excuse for a business trip and go down to Vegas and get a hotel room and just have some fun. Then again, I'm really scared and nervous, especially if PREP fails. Have no problem swallowing or even licking cum out of a condom, but I'm so freaked to take it in my ass. I've been on PREP for over a year and I've only been loaded by the 2 guys I mentioned maybe 5 times total. I know them and know there habits, so I'm not very worried. 

 

I grew up watching "uncles" disappear and reading that AIDS was horrible. Everyone was talking and singing about safe sex. So Im conditioned this way. Even had a buddy become poz as he got fucked by a guy that says he's on prep etc; but dude lied to him. Now he's lost his wife and kids. Me, I would love to just have a fuck bud that can give it to me when I need or vice versa. Instead I have bottoms on one list, and 2 guys who I can suck. The old guy that doesn't last 5 minutes, the big and tall chub who ignores me, and an asian guy I suck every now and then.

 

What is everyone's experiences? Is PREP doing it's job? Am I freak out over nothing? I have a desire to be used and have been taking PREP as secondary backup with condoms, but I'm torn between urges and responsibility. Anything I can do about looking too masculine? Most guys see me and think I'm top, more especially on the days where I'm cleaned out and want to get fucked. 

[einathens]

Prep won't save you from other STDs. How would you explain that to your wife? 

I'm gonna skip my usual indignation at married men cheating on their wives. You've heard it before, I'm sure, perhaps even from yourself.

My hope is that your fear is really your conscience trying to get through. Listen to it some time when you're not overcome with the hornies. You're not the only one at risk, and you have no right to endanger anyone else just because you've got a hardon.

[dwinters]

1 hour ago, einathens said:

Prep won't save you from other STDs. How would you explain that to your wife? 

I'm gonna skip my usual indignation at married men cheating on their wives. You've heard it before, I'm sure, perhaps even from yourself.

My hope is that your fear is really your conscience trying to get through. Listen to it some time when you're not overcome with the hornies. You're not the only one at risk, and you have no right to endanger anyone else just because you've got a hardon.

Good thing you skipped it because I never said I was cheating. Do not assume that everyone married is cheating. But definitely a good point on other STDS

[punaman]

You're married, you're sucking dicks, you're getting your ass fucked before picking up wifey at the airport and you say you're not cheating?  What do you call it then?

[dwinters]

1 hour ago, punaman said:

You're married, you're sucking dicks, you're getting your ass fucked before picking up wifey at the airport and you say you're not cheating?  What do you call it then?

Me being bisexual is not an unknown in our relationship. People do have open marriages, understandings, and more. 

[drscorpio]

PrEP is working for me. I have taken multiple anonymous loads in backrooms and bathhouses over the two years I have been on it. I am still negative. 

[Guest BBBoyfromTN]

I have a bud who went on Prep right when it first came on the market. He is no saint, takes a LOT of dick, all bare, and he's never gotten exposed to HIV. He has gotten other STD's though and that's the price of fucking around. He is single so he doesn't have anyone to explain to. Make sure to get Hep A, B, and C shots. Probably best if you find a regular bud but you can do well on PRep..,just stay on the dosages and re,ember take it. Guys fuck up when he skip or forget a dosage.

[6811283]

You "sometimes hear that people have turned while on PrEP" because the tiny number of cases (2 or 3) have been blown way the fuck out of proportion by anti-PrEP fanatics. The stuff works, really well, if you take it every day. Better than condoms. (You don't see headlines every time someone gets HIV while using a condom -- and that happens every fucking day).

Take the pill religiously and go to your doctor every three months as required, and rest assured that you're more likely to win the PowerBall than to get HIV.

However, if you start having more raw sex than before, the tradeoff will be a higher risk of STDs. Get tested often (quarterly is best). And be honest with your wife about that risk. You are protected against HIV, and the others are curable (or, in the case of herpes, also blown way out of proportion by scaremongers).

Three more tips: (1) Have a good long gargle with antiseptic mouthwash (like Listerine), deep in your throat, after sucking cock. You can get STDs down there and this helps kill them. (2) Try to piss after fucking raw. Helps clean bacteria out of your dick. (No guarantees, it's folk wisdom, but it seems to work for me). (3) DON'T douche after getting fucked. Contrary to what some people think, it doesn't prevent infections -- it can irritate your rectal tissue and make infections MORE likely. If you want to douche BEFORE getting fucked, do so early, and give your hole a couple of hours to recover from irritation.

[6811283]

On 5/22/2017 at 7:58 AM, BBBoyfromTN said:

Make sure to get Hep A, B, and C shots. 

DEFINITELY get Hep A & B shots. Everyone on this site needs them, pronto. Unfortunately there is no vaccine for Hep C. There is a cure, but it's insanely expensive (like $100k). Fortunately it's only rarely transmitted through sex. You can reduce your risk of it by minimizing fecal contact. Stuff like fisting parties are high risk... but it doesn't sound like that's your thing!

Another vaccine to consider is HPV -- it can cause warts, cervical, rectal and throat cancer (they're pretty rare, but they suck). The vaccine is normally only recommended for guys (and gals) up to age 26, because they figure by then everyone's been exposed. But some doctors will recommend it for older folks too, because there are multiple strains and the vaccine can protect you against ones you haven't been exposed to yet. Insurance might not pay for the shots if you're older, tho.

Finally, ask about a meningitis vaccine. There have been outbreaks among gay men in some big cities. There have only been a few cases but it's awful -- it can kill you dead within hours.