kinkygradstudent Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 Has anyone ever worked a 12 step program? If so, what was it like doing a 4th and 5th step and having to have rigorous honesty around barebacking? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuscledHorse Posted June 21, 2017 Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 Having looked up and read the 4th nd 5th steps I'm not sure how barebacking would be an issue. Both those steps ask for moral assessments. Barebacking isn't immoral. It is natural and the way sex between males male should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinkygradstudent Posted June 21, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 21, 2017 See the NA Step Working manual for an example of the kind of questions one considers in a 4th step: http://gssana.org/books/na-step-working-guide.pdf Some examples of the things from that manual that I'm curious to know how others responded to and shared with their sponsor: How was my sexual behavior based in selfishness? Have I confused sex with love? What were the results of acting on that confusion? How have I used sex to try to avoid loneliness or fill a spiritual void? In what ways did I compulsively seek or avoid sex? Have any of my sexual practices left me feeling ashamed and guilty? What were they? Why did I feel that way? Have any of my sexual practices hurt myself or others? Am I comfortable with my sexuality? If not, why not? Am I comfortable with others' sexuality? If not, why not? Is sex a prerequisite in all or most of my relationships? What does a healthy relationship mean to me? and: Before we finish this Fourth Step, we should stop and reflect: Is there anything we've missed, either intentionally or not? Is there something we think is so bad that we just can't possibly include it in our inventory? If so, we should be reassured by the fact that a multitude of NA members have worked this step, and there has never yet been a situation in anyone's Fourth Step that was so unique that we had to create a new term to describe it. Keeping secrets is threatening to our recovery. As long as we are keeping a secret, we are actually building a reservation in our program. Are there any secrets that I haven't written about yet? What are they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barecubtop Posted June 22, 2017 Report Share Posted June 22, 2017 Are you doing a step program for drugs or sex addiction? I tried going to a few for sex addiction at one point, and then a therapist....the therapist helped me out more (essentially got me to realize the extent of my loneliness and how that was triggering me...). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinkygradstudent Posted June 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2017 Several programs, actually. I go to a therapist too, but it's different from working with a sponsor, the therapist is just a nonjudgemental person to talk to who listens, while the sponsor has been through the same situation themselves... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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