ruralguy7326 Posted February 2, 2011 Report Share Posted February 2, 2011 rawTOP I am 45yo, and my longest relationship was 13 yrs and only ended when my partner was killed in a car accident a few years ago. I did point this out in a post further up on this page. I could not agree more with you when you say that sex fades as a relationship matures. Our relationship was not centered on sex, sex for us was a part of a much bigger picture and was an expression of the love we felt for each other. We had not lost the desire for each other but I would say it became deeper and more passionate. He was not just my partner, boyfriend or husband but he was most importantly my best friend. We were so compatible. We worked our farm together and were involved together in our local community. We did every thing together. We are as well quite some distance from the nearest big town. Factoring all this together you can see we had to be very much in love and truly wanted to be togther with each other. There are no gay venues of any sort around us, infact the nearest one is a six and a half hour drive away in Hobart, and thats without any stops. And the nearest sex on premisis venue is back up on the mainland which is for us a three hour drive to the nearest airport and then an a one hour flight to Melbourne on the mainland. We have none of the things that city folk take for granted. No starred restaurants, clubs, department stores. We do though have a great life style, great neighbours and one of the cleanest environments on the face of this earth. I once again totaly agree with what you have said about long term relationships. Sex will not hold together a relationship for long, many other factors do that. But as I said in other posts monogamy isnt for every one, many men just dont want it. It does take alot of effort commitment and imagination to keep the physical side alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairlygay Posted February 3, 2011 Report Share Posted February 3, 2011 Very well thought out reply. I completely agree. Sorry dudes I still strongly dissagree. Might just be something in the water here !!!! I passionatly believe that we can have my whole loaf and not just a few slices. Why, well I've experienced it for myself. Many straights and yes alot of gays put in the effort and commitment towards each other without it all turning into jelousy. Jelousy is not a sign of a true healthy and deep love. At the risk of sounding very "Mills and Boon" ish and perhaps too romantic, true happiness, a deep passionate love and a strong desire to be with one special man excluding all others can be a reality. This will however work only if both parties believe this to be a truth. If we as gay men accept and go for less we are just short changing ourselfs. What we accept and believe will become a self fulfilling prophecy I have read very interesting thoughts from tops, bottoms and versatile guy's about standards they believe to be non negotiable in terms of performance, cleanliness, and actually turning up for a fuck as rawTOP has said a few times. I like everyone else here am no different in this regard. Now in terms of any future personal relationship the bar is as always going to be very high. Dudes what I am discussing here I know and understand is NOT for all. Each mans experience is quite different and some have experienced great hurt etc and simply dont want to go through it again. Things like abusive and controling boyfriends would be enough to turn anyone away from monogamy. I too have gone through great hurt in losing my man some years ago and it still hurts me very much to this day. Being optimistic I strongly believe that life goes on and that tomorrow is another day filled with unknown opportunites. And there could well be another full loaf just waiting for me, not simply a few miserable slices or crumbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
takearisk Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Just moved in with my partner of two years. In less than a month I found a neighbor who loads me up before work. BF is still sleeping, get bred, crawl back into bed, he is none the wiser. Neighbor wants to share me with other top friends. Not sure how to make it happen but I'm trying! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rawplayboston Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Well said rawTOP!!! I cheated on my bf twice after we were together for about 4 years and it was a crappy thing to do and nearly ended a good relationship. We've talked a lot since then and the past 3 years have decided to have an open, "monogamish" relationship: we've got rules (no sex with each other's friends; no sex in our place; get tested if you have sex with others and be honest about any STIs; if one of us asks the other if we've had sex with someone, be honest; etc.). So far it's been working - just last month on vacation my bf watched me make out with a sexy man in a hot tub and I got to have sex with the guy twice while on vacation. Our sex after that was hot and I don't have to feel guilty or bad about having sex with other men. The bottom line: talk to your partner and be honest about what you want/need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thick Posted March 27, 2011 Report Share Posted March 27, 2011 been with my hubby for 22 years and a year hasnt gone by that I havent poked other men in the ass. Im a total cheater. I just cant help myself! ass is soo nice to look at and even better to fuck. especially a new one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MightyMouth Posted April 5, 2011 Report Share Posted April 5, 2011 In a relationship for over 10 years here. We go to sex clubs together and an occassional book store. I admit sometimes I look around on the side though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilqueerpig Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I'm too SLUTTY for monogamy, my last relationship was "open" and if I ever choose to get involved, a prospective partner must be as PIGGY as I am and accept we'll both be free to enjoy other men, either on our own or as a couple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotboi01 Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I'm ok with either cheating and/or an open relationship. I think and open relationship of some sort is the better of the two but cheating is just kinda whatever to me. It's just sex when it comes down to it. The only way I'd feel betrayed is if my bf was having a full fledged relationship on the side. Having a fuckbuddy that knows that I/He has a boyfriend isn't a big deal. In fact, the sexual openness makes our sex life even better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mideastlad Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 i'm definitely turned on by the idea of cheating. both cheating on a boyfriend and being cheated on if i had a boyfriend. i've always hoped that guys i dated were messing around behind my back. but maybe i just wished they were sluts d.i.t.t.o. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now