Monogamous Breeding-is it possible?

[gamiola]

Hey fellas

New here and really excited to get in touch with the forum. it really has, in my eyes, a really strong sense and comunity. I'd like to share my first bb experience and its, certainly not insignificant aftermath and listen to some opinions. 

I never really thought of barebacking before. It was forbidden territory, since me being always really considerate and well-informed on health and STDs related issues. It first happened with my most usual sexual partner. A young kid, 19-20 years old, one of my best and most talented fuckers (i'm a total bottom). He's a natural born top in a way i could not have guessed, not really impressive physicaly, handsome or hung but ended up being my only sex partner for the last twelve months. Was really busy last year and didn't have time to arrange any new hook-ups. Kid really got into my heart. He propably fucked around more than me but he did seem to have some sort of exclusivity demands from me apart from always returning for an easy, reliable and commited bottom. He would never discuss threesomes with other alphas and always had special demands from me. He bought a jockstrap and athletic socks and he would leave the door to his appartment open, waiting for me at the terrace while i got naked, jockstraps and socks on, and waiting for him with the door open in all fours. He really know how to spice things up. We ended up forming some sort of daddy-son relationship, despite me  being 27 and he 21 now. 

 

Recently during some sexting with him, he became really vocal about his breeding fantasies. Since chat provides a safety distance i started to indulge in such fantasies in a surprisingly direct way. Uttering such breeding scenarios proved quite natural and i finally, thinking of how much pleasure trusting in his fantasies has gained for me, started promising him to actually indulge in raw action. Couple of months back we met again to try it and he penetrated me raw without even asking, since i have agreed to do it. Apart from realising that initial penetration is easier and painless without a condom i couldn't really tell a difference since my mind was still in complete doubt and could not stop overthinking. When we was ready to cum i stopped him and asked to be fed on top of my tongue, cleaning his cock thoroughly to make up to him. While i was showering however, I felt really empty. Like something went wrong. I realised i hadnt recieved any pleasure and had to be taken to bed again. However our sexual relationship never expanded beyond a first fuck and him cumming. 

 

I went back to bed really determined, put my jockstrap on and lied down as promiscuously i could. He fell for it, started to cuddle and gave me the chance to start working my ass on his croch again. It worked. Few minutes later he was giving me the best fuck of my life, me getting the strongest sensation every time his hard, raw cock pushed against the exposed back of my prostate. Soon enough i was moister than i've ever been, his rod was sliddingd effortlessly producing the sweetest, almost liquid sound. We were both ecstatic. He started contracting, warned me he was close and this time i just  whispered "Shoot it baby". Getting back home this time, i felt special. My hole took time to get back to normal. Next morning i could not really hold a normal  vowel movement and found sings of cum and feces on my underwear.But it all felt like a badge of honour really. We met again of course, no condoms, each time better than the last and for the first time i started ejaculating anally. Literaly having cum being forced out of me everytime he delivered a thrust. Of course i take his load every time now. 

 

Problem is, we're not in an exclusive relationship. In fact we are only sexually related. We both have demanding sex drives and actually pride ourselves over collecting noumerous partners but at the same time we are both really protective of our health and not willing to take the risk of getting our sex lives completely raw (he especially has a very strong phobia for everything HIV related, which is of course a maturity problem). We were both recently tested negative. His request is that I only take him raw and no one else, which on the one side is kind of sexy since it certifies our special power-related dynamics. I am sure however i can't be truthful to that promise. I have collector's mania. Since going raw with him i feel i've rediscovered sex. In fact, i see men in a completely different light. Every single man on the street feels precious. Like there's a special aura to them all. I feel more assured of my identity as a sexually receiving, gay man. I dont see my newfound desires to bareback and serve as a vessel as selt-destructive, as i was told risky sexual behaviour usually is. I've been of course thinking of getting to prep, not really possible since it's not at all available in my country and i'm not all the way financially separated from my family in order to support by sexual needs by ordering on-line yet, so before that much needed progression happens(life goals), what do you think? Is it really possible to keep bareback sex a monogamous affair, especially when we're not exclusive? Will i be able to enjoy safe sex ever again? After going raw, is there ever a return?

[evilqueerpig]

• Monogamy among gay men is a rare trait.  Sooner or later, you'll give into your desire to be barebacked by other men and the risk of conversion will be greater.  Ultimately, only you can make your own decisions.

[Fistulike666]

I'm mainly top, say 80%, and have enjoyed sex a lot over the years with many different guys, one-to-one, 3-somes, groups ... the lot.

I was apprehensive at first about the dangers of HIV & other STV's so always used condoms. The sex was OK. Then I met and fell in love with a guy (probably lust more than love if I'm honest) who introduced me not only to fisting but also to bareback fucking and other slightly extreme activities. He had an insatiable appetite for my cock and my fists, taking my hot creamy cum almost as quickly as my body made fresh supplies! The transformation in my sex life was amazing.

But I knew this guy also fucked around a lot with others at sex clubs and with on-line hookups ... he was so fucking horny and always in demand ...  a complete 100% bottom, good-looking, vivacious, experimental. Then I realised, although he hadn't told me, that he was HIV+.

What to do? I thought long and hard ... then talked to him. I said I knew he was HIV+ and that it would have been better if he'd told me, especially as he fucked around so much, but I also said that fucking him bareback was what I wanted and that I was OK with the risk of getting HIV.  I was prepared to pay the price for us to continue to enjoy the most spectacular sex imaginable.  I also at the same time decided that, when acting as a  bottom, I would also take loads bareback ... oh, WOW, now my sex life was the best it could be. I had become a complete sexual being.  

I also tested HIV+ some 12 months later but am I happy, healthy and stabilised on treatment, with a normal life expectancy and a good sex life.  We are no longer together, having drifted apart quite naturally, each of us finding different ways of moving on.

So, my advice to Zielort is ... only you can make decisions like this for yourself ... do not let anyone take control of your destiny. Decide what YOU want for YOURSELF.

[RawUK]

4 minutes ago, Fistulike666 said:

I'm mainly top, say 80%, and have enjoyed sex a lot over the years with many different guys, one-to-one, 3-somes, groups ... the lot.

I was apprehensive at first about the dangers of HIV & other STV's so always used condoms. The sex was OK. Then I met and fell in love with a guy (probably lust more than love if I'm honest) who introduced me not only to fisting but also to bareback fucking and other slightly extreme activities. He had an insatiable appetite for my cock and my fists, taking my hot creamy cum almost as quickly as my body made fresh supplies! The transformation in my sex life was amazing.

But I knew this guy also fucked around a lot with others at sex clubs and with on-line hookups ... he was so fucking horny and always in demand ...  a complete 100% bottom, good-looking, vivacious, experimental. Then I realised, although he hadn't told me, that he was HIV+.

What to do? I thought long and hard ... then talked to him. I said I knew he was HIV+ and that it would have been better if he'd told me, especially as he fucked around so much, but I also said that fucking him bareback was what I wanted and that I was OK with the risk of getting HIV.  I was prepared to pay the price for us to continue to enjoy the most spectacular sex imaginable.  I also at the same time decided that, when acting as a  bottom, I would also take loads bareback ... oh, WOW, now my sex life was the best it could be. I had become a complete sexual being.  

I also tested HIV+ some 12 months later but am I happy, healthy and stabilised on treatment, with a normal life expectancy and a good sex life.  We are no longer together, having drifted apart quite naturally, each of us finding different ways of moving on.

So, my advice to Zielort is ... only you can make decisions like this for yourself ... do not let anyone take control of your destiny. Decide what YOU want for YOURSELF.

Good sound advise there.

I choose to fuck bare and accept the risks, but it is a decision I made made for myself, by myself.

Still neg and what will be will be.

 

[gamiola]

10 minutes ago, Fistulike666 said:

I'm mainly top, say 80%, and have enjoyed sex a lot over the years with many different guys, one-to-one, 3-somes, groups ... the lot.

I was apprehensive at first about the dangers of HIV & other STV's so always used condoms. The sex was OK. Then I met and fell in love with a guy (probably lust more than love if I'm honest) who introduced me not only to fisting but also to bareback fucking and other slightly extreme activities. He had an insatiable appetite for my cock and my fists, taking my hot creamy cum almost as quickly as my body made fresh supplies! The transformation in my sex life was amazing.

But I knew this guy also fucked around a lot with others at sex clubs and with on-line hookups ... he was so fucking horny and always in demand ...  a complete 100% bottom, good-looking, vivacious, experimental. Then I realised, although he hadn't told me, that he was HIV+.

What to do? I thought long and hard ... then talked to him. I said I knew he was HIV+ and that it would have been better if he'd told me, especially as he fucked around so much, but I also said that fucking him bareback was what I wanted and that I was OK with the risk of getting HIV.  I was prepared to pay the price for us to continue to enjoy the most spectacular sex imaginable.  I also at the same time decided that, when acting as a  bottom, I would also take loads bareback ... oh, WOW, now my sex life was the best it could be. I had become a complete sexual being.  

I also tested HIV+ some 12 months later but am I happy, healthy and stabilised on treatment, with a normal life expectancy and a good sex life.  We are no longer together, having drifted apart quite naturally, each of us finding different ways of moving on.

So, my advice to Zielort is ... only you can make decisions like this for yourself ... do not let anyone take control of your destiny. Decide what YOU want for YOURSELF.

I guess i'm still experiencing the "high" of going raw without being mature enough yet to deal with the responsibility it demands. In that context, negotiating and following someone else's desires seems easier . . .

[Fistulike666]

Hi Zielort, you seem to be a thoughtful guy, so be happy with whatever decision you make ... keeping it under review and, if needs be, change your mind. Unlike some, I'm not looking for premature death or an emaciated body, neither am I a bug collector or a bug distributor; I like sex so much and I love life in this beautiful world.  HIV is relatively easy to treat so that life can continue as normal but things are more tricky with HepC and some other things, so these are more the ones to avoid if you can. Don't beat yourself up too much over things otherwise you'll start to get afraid of being who you are. Far from lacking maturity as you suggest, I reckon that the very fact you're raising the questions for yourself means you have a wise head on your shoulders. Good luck to you xx

[gamiola]

3 minutes ago, Fistulike666 said:

Hi Zielort, you seem to be a thoughtful guy, so be happy with whatever decision you make ... keeping it under review and, if needs be, change your mind. Unlike some, I'm not looking for premature death or an emaciated body, neither am I a bug collector or a bug distributor; I like sex so much and I love life in this beautiful world.  HIV is relatively easy to treat so that life can continue as normal but things are more tricky with HepC and some other things, so these are more the ones to avoid if you can. Don't beat yourself up too much over things otherwise you'll start to get afraid of being who you are. Far from lacking maturity as you suggest, I reckon that the very fact you're raising the questions for yourself means you have a wise head on your shoulders. Good luck to you xx

Kind words. I'm really thankful

[Fistulike666]

2 minutes ago, zielort said:

Kind words. I'm really thankful

My pleasure xx

[RawUK]

46 minutes ago, Fistulike666 said:

Hi Zielort, you seem to be a thoughtful guy, so be happy with whatever decision you make ... keeping it under review and, if needs be, change your mind. Unlike some, I'm not looking for premature death or an emaciated body, neither am I a bug collector or a bug distributor; I like sex so much and I love life in this beautiful world.  HIV is relatively easy to treat so that life can continue as normal but things are more tricky with HepC and some other things, so these are more the ones to avoid if you can. Don't beat yourself up too much over things otherwise you'll start to get afraid of being who you are. Far from lacking maturity as you suggest, I reckon that the very fact you're raising the questions for yourself means you have a wise head on your shoulders. Good luck to you xx

Futher great advise and words.

I can't really add anymore to what Fistulike666 has already said. 

Do what makes you feel good, don't do something just because someone else insists unless you want to and above all ENJOY what you do.

It is also worth mentioning that there are also so many undetectable guys out there who really are the best to bb with if you want to avoid catching hiv.

Generally they tend to pay more attention to their health and know their status inside out and the chances of catching hiv from them are something like 0.01%

Better than going with someone who says their neg but wouldn't necessarily actually know unless they have tested, abstained from sex for 3 months and tested again.

Personally I get get hung up on status per se as Fistulike666 says you can always treat hiv and live a good life. I agree it's the other stuff you need to avoid but that is where it gets tricky.

All the best xx