Bull, pt. 3

[Toon]

Note: I usually try to post complete stories and  then move on to something else, but I got a few responses from members who thought there needed to be more, that it was incomplete as it was. (I appreciate all comments -- even the negative ones) I started in on new characters and new adventures, but "Bull" kept creeping into my head and I realized I missed him. So here it is -- the last chapter of Ken and and Bull's story.

 

Well Christmas break was eventful, but nice. I brought my new man home to meet the parents in Connecticut. I only gave Mom a few days notice, but she seemed delighted that I'd made a good 'friend'. On the unbearably long flight from Phoenix to Hartford, Bull held my hand and acted like an actual boyfriend. It was a weird transition time for us because he'd pretty much established himself as the alpha male during our stay in the hotel. He was in control, but had acted like we were Joannie and Chachi since then. He was romantic and gentle. A southern gentleman. I wasn't complaining. We'd kept our fooling around to a minimum during finals week. I went to the library and researched as much as I could about HIV and AIDS. Apparently, you could get infected and tests wouldn't show anything for up to 90 days. The newly infected generally came down with a really bad flu a few weeks after they are exposed. I hoped it didn't happen during our trip. Talk about coal in your stocking...

Of course Bull charmed the hell out of my parents. My dad - a businessman - wanted to know all about his father's cattle operation and the overall economy in Texas. I just let him shine while I noticed how little things had changed in only five months. Different TV, different sofa, some new candles here and there. My old room was full of boxes and stuff that made it unusable for now. Mom put us up in the guest room. "The mattress is new, but we never got around to putting a television in there. I'm sorry." We'd be sleeping in the same bed. If they only knew. We were almost snowed in when our flight was scheduled to leave for Dallas. We barely made it out. Bull was holding my hand again. We'd had no sex of any kind in my house...even as we were lying inches apart in the dark. 

"You didn't have to get my parents Christmas presents." He'd given them nicer gifts than I had. He gave me a really nice black cowboy hat that I wouldn't wear until we were in Texas.

"That's what a good guest does. Your mama was thrilled with that amethyst necklace. Purple. It's a royal gemstone." 

Texas was everything I thought it would be. Big, American and Boastful. It was also very appealing to my artist's eye. The sky was so big and the landscape was so flat. You could put a simple red box on the ground and it would look meaningful. I had to take a photography class next semester and was always looking at things that would photograph well and get me an 'A'. I may have had sex with an HIV + man and dedicated my life to him, but I was still an honor student inside.

SECOND SEMESTER

As crummy as our dorm was, I was glad to be back inside of it. I really wasn't a New England kid anymore and not a Texan either. This place I shared with Bull was home -- in every sense of the word. Mom had given me a wall calendar with cute photos of pigs in it. Why? I have no idea. I put it up where my 1991 one had been. I was anxious for more weeks to pass so I could go to the student health center and get an HIV test. Two and a half more months. I put away the new sketchbooks and art supplies Bull had given me and unpacked. My jeans were getting a little tight at the waist. Between my mom's cooking and all the Texas BBQ I ate, I'd probably put on some needed weight.

"I think we're the first ones back. I doubt the dining hall is open. Let's go out to eat...what's your pleasure? Never mind. I know where I want to go. We'll have some drinks to erase the jet lag. Wear your new hat...you look good in it." Sure. Cowboy hats weren't so unusual in Arizona. I kind of liked how I looked wearing it. I also sprayed on some of the new cologne he'd bought me -- getting rid of the airplane smell. 

"Your hair is growing in nicely, Babe."

I had no idea where he wanted to go eat, but I used the silence of the short journey to initiate a conversation.

"Hey, Bull...did you talk to me while I was asleep during the trip?"

"Every night. You start talking a few minutes after your head hits the pillow. Weird. I answer you and try to make you feel better about things, your concerns."

"Oh..like what?" But he couldn't answer right away because we were at "Bucky's" -- a pretty popular bar and grill. Maybe I didn't want an answer. Once we were seated and Bull had ordered drinks, he looked right into my eyes.

"I know everything about you. Never forget that, Babe." I felt a chill. "You are worried about getting AIDS. I thought we'd already cleared all that up. I don't have it, OK? I'm a clean, healthy Texan. Do you think we would have done any of the stuff we did if I thought it would harm you?"

This sounded so familiar...he'd probably said it to me several times while I was asleep. OK. He presumed his body had killed the virus -- even though the best drugs in the world couldn't. I'd just concede this argument. Life is a roll of the dice.

I didn't want to get him mad at me again so I made my face relaxed and smiled as genuinely as I could. We ate cheeseburgers and drank. A lot. We'd only had some beers at his ranch a few times. I still wasn't sure how much alcohol it took to loosen my tongue enough to say the things I wanted to. "Remember how you told me you couldn't make me do anything I didn't want to do?"

"I remember. It's still true."

"Have you tried? I mean -- it's not like I want to start thinking I'm a coyote or anything. But have you tried pushing it a little?" 

"Maybe. What exactly do you mean?" We came across an actual rattlesnake during our visit to Texas. It was all coiled up and shaking its tail's noisemaker as a warning. Bull wanted to crush it with a rock or something but I just wanted to stare at him in awe. Right now, however, I felt as if I'd stepped on a metaphorical rattlesnake...or was about to. 

"I want to get a little depraved eventually. Do absolutely anything you want to do."

"I've kind of been working on that already. I sure as hell wouldn't mind mixing things up a little. I didn't need your permission, but I appreciate the willingness to please me."

"I ..." and the words ran out. He had the ability to render me a mute at times. 

"Patience. Patience and trust are what I need from you now. Classes don't start for four days and we'll have plenty of time to test some boundaries. Are you still going to take that photography class?"

"Yep. It's expensive as hell. They give us the film and the chemicals, but we have to buy the photo paper and a camera. Dad slipped me enough cash to get what I need."

"So you'll do all the developing and printing yourself? Nobody else will see your pictures?"

"Well. The darkroom is always open. I'd normally want to go when it was quiet. Why?"

"Patience. I'll fill you in on something when the time comes."

More drinks. The talk turned less serious. "My parents really liked you, by the way. Especially Dad. You are definitely a 'man's man'."

"I really liked them too. And your cute little town. Just seeing the place you grew up and the streets you rode your bike on -- it was enlightening." I was so glad the tone of the tone of our talk had slipped back into casual mode. Bull was my best friend first and foremost.

"Remember the rattlesnake? I was just thinking of him. Snakes are amazing...all reptiles fascinate me. They give no fucks about us unless we mess with them."

"Ever eaten rattlesnake?" He knew damn good and well I never had.

"Are you going to be OK to drive?" His face was flushed. 

"Oh yeah. I'm just thinking about things.. Let's go." 

On the drive back to the dorm, I let him brood in silence with no interruptions. We were talked out I guess. It's funny how much I used to dread the start of school, but now I was really looking forward to it. I was taking a class just called "Color 1" and had no idea what that would involve. I wondered if I should go buy a camera now or wait until the professor gave guidelines. I'd wait. I was getting so good at putting things off. 

Back in the room, Bull chucked his boots and stretched out on the bed. "Give me a minute to rest my eyes and then I'll go get something caffeinated from the vending machine. Don't let me sleep too long."

I switched on the TV and muted it while he rested. I was getting used to just seeing movies without hearing them. Maybe I'd become an expert lip-reader. After he started to snore a bit, I decided to wake him. Not just because he'd asked me to, but because I missed his company. No. Wait. I'd go get him a Mountain Dew from the machine downstairs first. When I returned he'd already awakened. I gave him the soda. "I heard you leave and knew you were getting me a coffee or something.  How would you have woken me if I was still sleeping?"

"By groping your crotch, most likely."

"Good. That's my little, horny teenager." He drained the Dew and put the empty can on the floor. He knew I'd pick it up and throw it away because I was always cleaning up after him. I liked doing that even though I wasn't exactly a 'neat freak'. Maybe he'd said something to me in my sleep...maybe he'd given me orders to take care of details he didn't want to bother with. I was happy to be allowed to take care of him in any way I could. 

"You can turn the volume up on the TV a little. I like this movie." 'The Breakfast Club'. No matter how basic your cable package is, that movie is almost always showing somewhere. "I saw this at the drive-in with some slut who was giving me a hand-job the whole time. I missed a lot of the story."

I remember my little pals and I seeing this at a Saturday matinee. Afterwards, we all tried to decide which character was most like each of us. I was immediately labeled as 'Brian', but I felt more like 'Allison'. Which one was Bull? Probably the jock. I didn't ask him, though. He was allowing us to watch TV with the volume up. He was being generous. It was the kind of thing he did when he wanted some intimacy. If he brought me a Diet Coke, I knew we were going to fuck. Well, guess what he did during the next commercial break? Yep. 

"Here, Babe. It's a little reward for putting on a few pounds. I bought some for me too...because I really need to lose weight."

"No. You're perfect." I meant it.

"You just see me as I want you to see me. I don't have that luxury. You drew so many great pictures of me, and I'd look at them and think 'If I really looked that way I'd quit school and become a model'." He let me drink about half of my soda before he spiked it with some rum he produced out of nowhere. Yeah, fucking would happen. I'd put a small 'x' on my new calendar on March 7th. That would be enough for tests to show if I had HIV in my blood. If we fucked again, I'd have to wait even longer. "They sure talk a lot in this movie. No wonder I don't remember anything about it." He stood up and switched on his fancy stereo which had never once happened before. Not ever. He fiddled around and I heard the familiar start of a Nirvana song. Wow! He was rewarding me big time. 

"God. I'm 16 again."

  I'm so happy                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               cuz today I found my friends,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         they're in my head.

"It's just sounds so sad, and I don't want to ever think of you as sad. I get it, though."

"I was inspired by this band. I didn't feel sad when I listened to it. I felt understood."

"Yeah. Cool. Need a refill?" I didn't, but he took the opportunity to go do something other than watch the rest of the movie -- which is way more talky than I remembered.  He brought back the can and lingered right in front of me. His crotch was level with my nose for a second. Oh yeah! I remember how big and hard his dick could get! I wanted to see it and feel it so much. Of course he could read my every thought and started stripping. He was just down to his white jockey briefs and the fat maroon head of his penis was sticking over the top. I dared to touch the glistening slit. Yum! "You like that, Babe?"

"You know I do."

"I know everything. Never forget that. Finish your drink and we'll talk." Talk? I was so ready to blow him right then, but I knew better than to try and rush things. I guzzled the now warm rum and coke and almost choked. Bull knew how eager I was. Proper decorum must be followed (a Southern thing, I guess) and I didn't want to push my luck.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Let's sit on the floor. You keep this place so clean, I don't even get dirty soles when I walk barefoot." I didn't mind sitting on the floor for this fireside chat.

"OK."

"A couple of things....". He belched. "One: I know what the mark on your 1992 calendar means. It's the day you're going to the student health center to get an AIDS test. You are biding your time until you know for sure...even though I already told you several times that you're in no danger. Two: I'm going to have to try a new approach with you. We're going to fuck on a regular basis -- until you're so full of cum, there's no more room for your silly doubts. Questions?"

I felt guilty and looked down. "No."

"Get ready,Babe. Were going to do it animal style now." I wasn't sure exactly what he meant until he forcibly pulled off my clothes and positioned me on my hands and knees. Oh. He was going to do it from behind. "It'll go nicer this way. There won't be as much pain since I've already broken you. I don't have lube this time, though. Sorry about that."

I took a deep breath as his slimy head bobbed up and down along my crack. There was no teasing this time around -- he just pushed right in. FUCK! It was like it was my first time all over again. I screamed, but he was ready for that. His big, hairy hand went over my mouth to stifle the noise. "Hush, Babe. I waited too long and now you're all tight again. We won't have this problem tomorrow.  I'll try to make this quick. Hold on." And he pumped furiously. I was helpless and not exactly enjoying this. I'd sacrifice whatever just to pleasure Bull. 

My knees hurt from the hard floor and the significant weight on top of me. I was just a portal now. I was just a way for him to get off, and that was all fine with me. He was hitting a spot inside of me that felt painfully good. SHIT ! He hammered away at what I now know was my prostate. I was so close to cumming....but I was not allowed. I knew he had to cum in me first. And then he did. 

"GODDAMN! FUCK!  I'm breeding you again!"

He was all sweaty again and smelled wonderful. He collapsed on my back and it was so nice. I was reminded of our first time..how his itchy, hairy mass felt as it covered my prone body.

We gathered ourselves a little. I had had sex twice now..with a man who might have HIV. He might claim he was clean, but I still had my doubts. 'The Breakfast Club' had finally ended and we awkwardly sat and waited for the next movie.

"Go take a mini-shower, Babe. There's some blood on the floor, but you'll take care of that tomorrow." I put on my robe and took a towel with me. I sat on the toilet forever. I pushed out a bunch of cum and blood. I may have cheated the virus last year, but it surely took root this time. I took a longer shower than I'd planned.

I started all my new classes and was so stimulated by what I was learning. I saw the same models I'd drawn in the first semester, and, except for a few new tattoos, they looked the same. I wish they were beefy and sexy like Bull, but nobody consulted me on the matter. We had anal sex every night and I started to worry that I was getting too loose and sloppy down there. His giant dick had ruined me for anybody else. In my "Color 1" class, I usually wound up sitting next to the same cute guy. His name was Bruce, and he was adorable. He was my age and my height and so friendly. As much as I loved Bull, I couldn't help but wonder what a relationship with someone who was my equal would be like...someone who didn't control me or have a disease. I had to smother that idea before it evolved into something I'd say in my sleep. 

Bull was still talking to me when I slept. I knew it because I'd sometimes wake up and hear his words....

"And you like it."

I answered as if I were still deep in slumber. "I do"

"Good."

I don't know what it was that I said I liked, but whatever. I'd find out eventually, I guess. A few days later, I knew what I'd been wanting. Every time Bull announced that he had to go pee, I'd follow him into the bathroom. I wanted to see the stream come out of his fleshy snake. He pretended not to notice my new interest. I'd often stand beside him and watch. When the place was empty, I'd put a finger in the warm,yellow flow. He saw that. "I want to piss in your mouth tonight."

"Yes. I want that, Bull."

And a few drinks later, we decided to go for it. "Wait. I want my bladder to be bursting. I'll have Larry guard the door for us."

"Who?"

"He's the speed freak a few doors down. He's always awake and he owes me a few favors. Stay here."

"Well...?"

"He was shooting up the stuff with his door unlocked. He said he'd not let anybody into the bathroom for as long as we were in there. He asked me if he should bring his gun -- I said 'no'. Can you even believe somebody like that is allowed to even buy a firearm? Fuck." 

I was silent and patient. I didn't care about guns or drugs at this point. I silently wished for him to drink more liquids. 

"I'm getting used to Diet Coke, Babe. The chemicals must be changing my brain just like I changed yours. At least I know you belong to me -- and not that cute frat dude in your color class." Shit! I had no secrets of my own anymore. 

"I'd never do anything with him or anybody else, Bull."

"I know, horny kid. Sit somewhere else in that class from now on."

"Yes, Sir."

"Wow. You've never called me that before. I think I like it. You are so beaten down now that you can't say my name. I either love that or hate it. We'll see."

His pal Larry stood right outside the door as Bull took me into the far shower stall. We were naked and he had me kneel down on the cold tile, right at his feet. I noticed he'd kept his toenails neatly groomed since I'd trimmed them while we were at his Texas ranch. I was a little sorry that he'd not grown them out more. Just then a splash of his warm pee hit the back of my neck. It was more hot than warm. His body temperature was always pretty high. He soaked my hair and then pulled my head backwards to hit me in the face with the splash.

"Open your goddamn mouth." When I complied, he loaded my mouth with that super-heated, smelly liquid. I swallowed as much as I could, but a lot of it spilled out. over my lips. I was being baptized, cowboy style. I choked a little and he went back to hosing down my hair. I was grateful for every drop. "OK. I'm done. Was it everything you hoped for?"

I coughed a little and it occurred to me that I might throw up, but that would offend Bull. "Yes. Thank you."

"Let's rinse off a little. The night's not over." We showered together which was not nearly as erotic as movies make it seem. Bull stepped out first while I remained, wanting to get rid of any trace of urine odor.

"What the fuck are you doing in here??!" I hadn't heard him sound so angry before. Larry had come inside to watch us with his dick out. Busted. He zipped up his ratty jeans and stepped back a few feet.

"Sorry, man. That was fuckin' hot. Maybe I can join in sometime?"

"Turn around while Ken gets out of the shower and puts his robe on," he said in a less threatening tone. I don't think I've ever felt so embarrassed in my life.

I dried off as fast as I could and got my robe tied tightly around me. Bull was still standing there, sopping wet with his fists clenched. I got his towel and started drying him, silently communicating my wish that he not kill this guy. He'd go to jail. 

"OK. Thanks, Babe. Should we invite him to party with us?"

What? Was he serious? "Um...Sure. Why not?"

"Come to our room in about thirty minutes, and don't bring any of your drug shit with you."

"Deal."

I was struck mute as we walked back. Once inside our cozy space, I spoke up. "Bull? I changed my mind. I don't want him here."

"Yeah -- I changed my mind too. I thought it would be cool to watch you two fuck each other, but not anymore. You can't catch anything from me  but you could possibly catch all kinds of shit from him. He's a druggie who uses needles after all. I'll take care of it when he comes to the door. Relax while I get you a drink. Don't get dressed."

Relief flooded over me. I'd only ever want Bull. "I'm surprised that you were so ready to just share me with someone else."

"I seem to remember some guy telling me he wanted to get a little depraved. I've been in threesomes with men and women several times. It can be hot, but that was my past -- not my present."

"Wow...this is more rum than Coke, Bull."

"I figured you'd want to wash that taste out of your mouth." He grinned. 

"I was really into it. I hope we can do it again soon."

A knock at the door. Larry was here for some fun. "Hold that thought." I heard Bull tell the guy I wasn't feeling good after swallowing so much piss.

"OK. I think I need a little rest now. Finish your drink, then turn off the TV and go to bed."

'Steel Magnolias' was on. I watched it while Bull went to sleep and I finished the rum and coke quickly because I had some thinking and dreaming to do. I never felt more safe in the dark than when Bull was near. 

I was hitting a really good stride as the semester progressed. Before I knew it, March 7th was here. I was dedicated to every class and did so much work. Bull fucked me on a fairly regular basis and it became truly pleasurable, hardly any bleeding except for the one or two times he got extra rough. I hadn't had that infamous AIDS Flu I'd read about, but I did get a severely sorely throat a few weeks ago. Bull took care of me like my mom would. I had dark circles under my eyes at times, but I was sure that was from not sleeping enough. I had mixed feelings about being tested, but I needed to know. 

The student health center was in a fairly new building and full of kids with the regular flu and/or scrapes and cuts from drunken episodes. I had to show my university I.D. which meant there was no way this would be anonymous. Fuck. I hadn't even thought of that, but there was no turning back now. I didn't touch any of the magazines and waited only a few minutes before my name was called. The doctor or technician or whatever she was sat me down and asked intimate questions that I really wasn't prepared for. 

"Let me save you some time," I finally said. "I've been having unsafe sex with a man who has been exposed to HIV. My blood and his semen have made contact multiple times."

She blinked a few times. "I see. Are you prepared for a positive result? Do you have a support system in place. We have counselors you can talk to anytime -- free." I assured her I had a very good support system but I didn't tell her it consisted solely of my HIV+ boyfriend. I just wanted to get tested and leave. I guess she knew that because she just put on a pair of latex gloves and drew some blood. "I'm sending you home with some literature about AIDS and some condoms." That was it. I had to wait a week for the results which I could only get in person. FUCK. A phone call wouldn't work? No.

I walked all the way back to the dorm and didn't notice a single detail. Of course Bull was in the room. I needed some alone time in the worst way.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"I know you went and got tested today. You've still got the band-aid on your arm."

I wasn't in any kind of mood to chat or even deal be around him right now. "Yeah. I did it for both of us, Bull. I know you're healthy, but I'm not fully Texan yet. I need a nap, OK? We can talk later." He was completely silent and just nodded. I slept soundly for an hour while he busied himself with whatever.

I awoke to Bull holding a big bag of fast food for us.

"I'm not hungry, Bull."

"You need to eat...you're starting to lose weight again. Sit up and talk to me."

Fine. I arranged myself as he handed me a regular coke. Ice cold. "I know you must feel betrayed, but I'm scared. I don't even know what I'll do if it turns out I'm positive. I'm so scared I feel like crying."

"I know. I've tried like hell to talk you down from that while you slept, but I guess it didn't work. I hate not being able to comfort you. When will you know the results?"

"Not until next week. And I have to go there and get the news in person. Next week -- during midterms." And then the tears came. I cried and lost control for a few minutes.

"You need a drink, Babe." God. Was alcohol his only 'go-to'?? Fine. As upset as I was, I wanted to pass out drunk for a week. Fuck my classes. He tried to pour some rum into my coke, but I took the bottle from his hand and took a big swallow.I was being rude, but he understood.

"Go easy. You have an empty stomach."

"Rum has a lot of calories -- it's made from sugarcane, right? Let's just talk like it was an ordinary evening. Can we turn on the TV?"

"Sure, Babe." He switched on the TV and found a channel that was showing a documentary about apes. 

"How was your day?" I was from that old school of thought where you had to stop dwelling on yourself by caring for others.

"Well....I don't know if you want to hear this, but Larry's dead. Overdose. I was just walking in to the building when the ambulance came. No sirens. He had already passed on a day ago. I guess the R.A. found him. There's a floor meeting tonight, mandatory but I already got us out of it. Shit. That guy. Danced with the devil one too many times."

"Wow. Tell me one good thing that happened to you today."

"I woke up early and saw you sleeping so deeply, hugging your pillow. It filled me with love and peace."

He continued to talk tenderly as I got stupid drunk. Finally. I could sink into the abyss of sleep for awhile. 

By the next week, I had regained some of my abilities to function. I kept my head down and plodded along until it was finally time to go get my test results back. You've probably already guessed that I was HIV+. For real. I felt okay. At least that's what I told the woman who broke the news to me. "You may go through a period of shock, numbness. Let me give you a list of doctors. I'm sure you have many questions and I'll answer as many as I can."

"No. I know a lot already because I pretty much expected this outcome." I just left her office and walked through the lobby. All these dumb kids with their minor issues...none of them would get a death sentence today. I was not only ill, but thinking jerk thoughts. There's no way I could ever tell my parents...I'd rather jump off a tall building. I knew Bull would find out eventually. What would he do, what would he feel? He'd just have to discuss it with me while I slept. I was a statistic now.

Thank God he wasn't in the room when I returned. He could read my mind and I needed to compose myself a little. I was taking a "Critical Writing" class, and we were supposed to read a new book every week and write a review. At least ten pages. I picked a book I'd always loved: 'The Diary of Anne Frank'. Of course the ending was tragic, but I loved it for how fully that poor girl came to life for me. She was real and true. Truth is the thing every good writer knows how to make sacred. I opened the book and read it for awhile. I read with a critical mind, and still loved every page. At some point I drifted off to sleep. A nap I deserved.

Bull had come into the room at some point. I woozily returned to a sitting position and wondered how long he'd been watching (talking) to me. I'd probably already spilled the beans...the HIV beans. He was sitting with no shirt on and barefoot. Just leans. I must have told him at some point that I thought he looked sexiest that way.

"Hey, Babe. Need some coffee..a coke?"

"Yeah...I'm thirsty. A cold soda would be perfect."

"Well, you're lucky because I've had one ready for you for the last twenty minutes. It's Dr. Pepper -- that okay?"

"Perfect." 

"Want some hooch in it? I don't know if vodka mixes very well with that."

"Oh definitely. We probably need to talk."

He nodded and just handed me the bottle. "What's on your mind?"

"Don't you already know?" He shifted uncomfortably.

"Yeah. I know. I feel like shit, Babe. You know I do."

I took a few deep swallows of the potent liquid. "I'm fine. The doctor - or whatever she is - thought I was in shock. But I only feel what I've always felt...a deep love for you."

We both stood up at the same time and met for a very long hug. I fought back tears because his feelings were so important to me. I would always be young and healthy with his arms around me. Always.

THE ENDING

I had to take charge after that fateful day and insist we get regular treatment. I'd told him that I wanted us to grow old together. He didn't fight me on anything when it came to our health, but he was in charge of everything else. We were so bonded now. Jesus -- was that really over 25 years ago? His parents got divorced and his dad gave him the cattle ranch before the mother could take it. That's where we live now. I never get tired of warm weather and that giant sky overhead. I'd written two graphic novels and received a big advance for another. Bull busied himself with business and investing. When I needed a break from writing, I'd go out and sit on the front porch. I saw a bobcat once. They look a lot like regular house cats, but are not to be messed with. I'd wander around the flat prairies and find the occasional rattlesnake. I let Bull tell me whatever he wanted to me while I slept. 

One of the medications gave me chronic insomnia (which wasn't listed on the possible side effects), but I kind of liked being awake and alone at night sometimes. It hadn't rained in two months and I could walk barefoot outdoors with no worries except for thorny weeds. I just loved looking into that giant sky and inhaling the hay-scented air. I could see the end of time up there and I could feel this rock of a planet we lived on hurtling through space at a speed none of us could ever really understand or believe. I got a great deal of my Texas blood from those stars. They nourished me and watched over me. I was protected.   

[MackyJay]

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    I actually thought his story started poorly, to me anyway, but it gained as you went along into the best story you have ever written.  I love it a lot.