Top finding out you're poz

[verbalBTTM]

On 3/13/2019 at 5:48 PM, bbtwink95 said:

So I was talking to this guy on Grindr and the subject of me being undetectable or using condoms came up. We make plans and he shows up, breeds me and leaves. He then asks me a few days later if I’m clean. I tell him I’m undetectable and he freaks out and blocks me. 

 

So then I decide to put undetectable on the status section of Grindr. Guy hits me up. Again condoms or me being poz doesn’t come up. He shows up, breeds me and leaves. A few days later we’re talking in grindr and tells me that he just saw that i have undetectable in grindr and gets pissed off. 

 

What do you guys do in these scenarios?  Just tell them right away that your undetectable? 

Should I of told them before meeting up? 

If someone is really that concerned they should play safe only and not be afraid to ask questions. I was that guy not to long ago and had no problem asking status and then proceeded at my comfort level. Those 2 hook-ups of yours aren't being honest with themselves. 

[seaguy]

You took the time to fill out your profile if they choose not to read it and are concerned about your status then it is on them.  They are doing you a favor blocking you because who would want to hook up with an idiot like that again?

[leaker30]

your- possive....as in your hole, your cock, your trick

you're-contraction---you are...as in Top finding out you are poz

[Guest BreedMeInVegas]

Putting aside the lack of reading of your full profile on the tops part, by not specifically disclosing your status to him you put yourself at risk of committing a crime, which in AZ looks to be a misdemeanor.  You should probably be grateful he simply blocked you instead of calling the police.  I'm sure you could argue that having it in your profile is a form of disclosing, but it would be up to a judge to decide if that meets the level of "Informed Consent" that these types of laws specify.

Regardless of how those of us with HIV feel about these laws, the fact remains that they are still laws in most states.  I personally always confirm while chatting with someone that they read my profile and saw that I'm undetectable.  Because even if it goes to court and they dismiss it, just the having to be put through that publicly isn't worth a quick hook up.

[skinster]

Any marginal human activity (ANY) in this day and age of global PC <I know it sounds like a rant> somehow removes the presumption of innocence and at the same time grants a conviction by the court of public opinion.

Legislature in most states in US are so mired in partisan debate and thus are majorly foggy and dysfunctional that very few actually try to do their main job and write laws to reflect the modern age. The laws on the books are commonly very outdated for the digital hustle. Consider informed consent (something that you willingly affirm to via a prompt directed at you) vs. fair public notice (online text in small print for the mentally twitching horny chameleons that you have to go seek for by your glorious own self). Where do your clicks count if you have ADHD and trade in professional victimhood? That's why there is no such solid legal element of historical proof any more as a time stamp for the profile owner. There could be 20 electronic updates a day - which one is the one? You have more computing power in your pocket than what brought humans to the moon. You update you profile for your last hair color, and all content is new for your next screen grab - what you like, what you do, what your status is. Anything you might have changed would be overlapped by a claim that it wasn't there at the time of the encounter and had been put afterwards as a cover. Now it's on you (burden of proof for your innocence or CYA) to go to the site admin and try to get a notarized content history record, even if they keep it and are willing to disclose. And I'd imagine the hook-up-oriented ones won't be too forthcoming - traffic is high as is, it is easier to claim 'optimized database design' that doesn't bother with such minute legal details 'for the system load balancing' - they are ad-revenue driven on a proclaimed skinny budget, or otherwise they'd be called to testify upon their good will every single day.

If many personal things hit the fan from such avenue, this shit can quickly turn dicey on you. Because it's not only legislature doing what they please, but also activist judiciary on occasion legislating from the bench. And in cases of moral character I suspect temptation would very high to calm the community down by tough new action and a new high standing on crime. Be glad the schmuck blocked you.

That's why I am of the opinion that "Ask me" is being very helpful in that category alone - it is up on you to fully inquire. Whether I know or not, care or not, whether it is true or not, documented or not and well fucking authoritative - if you haven't - tough titty, at least you'd see my interests, 'cause I did fill that out well.

Edited March 18, 2019 by skinster

[ThisGuy]

On 3/14/2019 at 1:56 PM, bbtwink95 said:

He’s blaming me for everything. He’s 10000% a victim here

Just block. Don't let idiots get to you. If it is such a big deal to him, he ought to read profiles better and ask before getting into it.

[Guest GoneFishing]

12 minutes ago, ThisGuy said:

Just block. Don't let idiots get to you. If it is such a big deal to him, he ought to read profiles better and ask before getting into it.

Agreed. I auto block anyone that says clean or negative only.  Serosorting is best.  

[Guest]

On 3/13/2019 at 5:48 PM, bbtwink95 said:

So I was talking to this guy on Grindr and the subject of me being undetectable or using condoms came up. We make plans and he shows up, breeds me and leaves. He then asks me a few days later if I’m clean. I tell him I’m undetectable and he freaks out and blocks me. 

 

So then I decide to put undetectable on the status section of Grindr. Guy hits me up. Again condoms or me being poz doesn’t come up. He shows up, breeds me and leaves. A few days later we’re talking in grindr and tells me that he just saw that i have undetectable in grindr and gets pissed off. 

 

What do you guys do in these scenarios?  Just tell them right away that your undetectable? 

Should I of told them before meeting up? 

if he cant read the 2nd time too bad

[Guest]

On 3/16/2019 at 7:27 PM, Pozlover1 said:

Anybody as upset as the guy he described is capable of anything. That’s where murders of passion come from, shit like this. You need a gun anyway. Like I say get training, both legal and technical. And don’t ever draw on the drop. As in, if someone is holding a gun against your stomach, it is too late to pull yours out. A gun cannot magically give you common sense. 

i want to marry you a gay gun holder like myself  nra card holder too i hope