Feeling guilty that he is poz and I’m not.

[Guest]

I want to be pozzed along with my partner as the ultimate sign of solidarity. The problem is I don’t know exactly where to look. Advances in HIV prevention and treatment have made it a lot more difficult for anyone to really even catch it. It was a chance occurrence that he even caught it in the first place too. He doesn’t want to get off meds to poz me for fear of getting drug-resistant HIV so I would have to look for other avenues.

The only other solution would be to get specialized therapy to get over these feelings of guilt, but I’m on this forum, so that might not be what I’m looking for....

[cheatingjock]

I’m assuming he’s ok with you taking loads? Sounds like bathhouse visits are in order. 

[drscorpio]

Why do you feel guilty? Did you somehow contribute to his getting poz?

What does he say about this? Is he okay with you trying to poz up?

[Guest]

I feel guilty because, in a way, I contributed indirectly to his poz status. I was in a period where I wasn't giving him the attention he needed as a partner so he sought another outlet. Unfortunately, that outlet happened to be someone who did not know they were infected at the time. He "lost the lottery" so to speak.

He disagreed with my choice at first, but I was able to finally convince him that it was something that would strengthen our bond together. At the moment, it seems to be something that I will have to do on my own. I'm still looking...but it may take a while.

[Guest Porthos]

If he were to go cold turkey and go off meds for a few months he should not develop resistance. Resistance usually happens to guys who are not consistent, i.e. taking meds for two days then forgetting for three. Once you are pozzed he could go back on his meds.

Wish I could find a partner like you. I would gladly go off for a period of time

[MassHole]

I understand you feeling guilty. Even though it’s truly not your fault, I might feel the same way in your shoes. While I’d love to see you get pozzed and have that strengthen your relationship, I’m worried it might have the opposite effect - what if your partner feels guilty (or angry or hurt) you got pozzed because he did? Just don’t want you to make things more challenging!

[loki69]

Are there any other ways for you to get pozzed other than your partner going off mrds