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[120DaysofSodom]

Just now, BootmanLA said:

See, there you go again, changing the terms of the discussion. Nobody said anything about "closed relationships".

You assume there are two kinds of people, apparently: those in closed relationships who shouldn't use gay social media apps, and those who use social media apps strictly for hookups. Why you feel empowered to assign people to one of those two categories is beyond me.

I know monogamous couples who have profiles on Growlr, Scruff, and Grindr. I know people in open relationships who also have them, but who use them primarily for keeping up with friends. None of that's relevant to the original point, which is that unsolicited greetings - whether "sup?" or dick shots, always merits a response. You seem incredibly invested in defending this practice. I'm curious why.

 

Youre curious as to why I dont mind that the first thing a random profile on Grindr messages me is a picture of his dick...? really?

[120DaysofSodom]

1 minute ago, BootmanLA said:

See, there you go again, changing the terms of the discussion. Nobody said anything about "closed relationships".

You assume there are two kinds of people, apparently: those in closed relationships who shouldn't use gay social media apps, and those who use social media apps strictly for hookups. Why you feel empowered to assign people to one of those two categories is beyond me.

I know monogamous couples who have profiles on Growlr, Scruff, and Grindr. I know people in open relationships who also have them, but who use them primarily for keeping up with friends. None of that's relevant to the original point, which is that unsolicited greetings - whether "sup?" or dick shots, always merits a response. You seem incredibly invested in defending this practice. I'm curious why.

People in closed relationships arent on hookup apps unless theyre not really closed or one or both of them is cheating on the other. There might be some exceptions but that would be a rarity. "Keeping up with friends" can be easily accomplished through a text message or drinks at the bar, not on grindr lol. You are really reaching. 

[BootmanLA]

3 minutes ago, TwinkFoot said:

That is YOU dictating rules about what people should and should not do on a gay hookup app. I agree with you that people arent obligated to respond to anything, but nothing unacceptable about people that send pictures of their cocks or ass to people on grindr because thats all theyre looking for on a hookup app - a quick random fuck. And most of the people on grindr prefer to just get right to the point than sit there engaging in meaningless dribble when the end goal is the same. 

No, I am not. I'm not dictating any rules to anybody. You need to learn to read slowly and carefully.

I said that I do not want unsolicited dick pictures sent to me. I find it rude, yes. I'm not saying nobody should send dick pics. I'm not saying nobody should send unsolicited dick pics. I'm not saying people should be kicked off the system for sending dick pics, solicited or not. And as I made clear, I'm not trying to stop people from using it as a hookup app.

I AM trying to get people to understand that NOT everyone uses it (or Growlr, or Scruff, or...) as a hookup app, and they shouldn't get bent out of shape when people ignore them. I AM trying to get people (at least,  SOME people) to understand that they do not get to dictate how other people use an app like those, nor do they get to dictate what their reactions to behavior on those apps must be. This is apparently a difficult concept for some people to grasp, no matter how clearly stated I make it.

[120DaysofSodom]

And im not trying to be a dick to you, im just pointing out that its really, really farfetched to say that sending unsolicited nudes on grindr is the same as whipping your cock out and waving it around like a helicopter at a bar. It would be inappropriate to just send unsolicited pics on something like facebook, a social network that is actually designed for g-rated interactions, but not inappropriate to assume that if you download grindr, an x-rated gay app that the first thing you see when you open up is andrew christian ads of guys wearing jockstraps, that you arent going to get unsolicited nudes at some point. 

[BootmanLA]

5 minutes ago, TwinkFoot said:

Youre curious as to why I dont mind that the first thing a random profile on Grindr messages me is a picture of his dick...? really?

No. I'm curious as to why you think it's your place to decide other people are "doing it wrong" if they're on an app like these for other reasons. You consistently convey the idea that everyone needs to expect that people who behave like you are the norm, expected, and must be indulged no matter what. I'm curious why you seem to think your viewpoint on what a social media app SHOULD be used for trumps anyone else's. Because YOU are the one who used the phrase "doing it wrong" to describe other approaches.

[120DaysofSodom]

2 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

No, I am not. I'm not dictating any rules to anybody. You need to learn to read slowly and carefully.

I said that I do not want unsolicited dick pictures sent to me. I find it rude, yes. I'm not saying nobody should send dick pics. I'm not saying nobody should send unsolicited dick pics. I'm not saying people should be kicked off the system for sending dick pics, solicited or not. And as I made clear, I'm not trying to stop people from using it as a hookup app.

I AM trying to get people to understand that NOT everyone uses it (or Growlr, or Scruff, or...) as a hookup app, and they shouldn't get bent out of shape when people ignore them. I AM trying to get people (at least,  SOME people) to understand that they do not get to dictate how other people use an app like those, nor do they get to dictate what their reactions to behavior on those apps must be. This is apparently a difficult concept for some people to grasp, no matter how clearly stated I make it.

You can use the app to "talk" if you like, im not saying you cant. You can do anything you like. I think youre looking in the wrong place for a "meaningful" conversation if thats what youre using it for and would better find what youre seeking say somewhere like a bar or on gay.com, but dont make enormous leaps like to compare flashing in public to unsolicited dick pics on grindr. Thats just crazy. 

[BootmanLA]

Here's your exact words, in fact:

"Nobody uses grindr for social interaction and if you do you are on it for the wrong reasons"

Again, you're literally telling people how THEY should or shouldn't be using a social media app. That's really breathtakingly audacious.

[BootmanLA]

Just now, TwinkFoot said:

You can use the app to "talk" if you like, im not saying you cant. You can do anything you like. I think youre looking in the wrong place for a "meaningful" conversation if thats what youre using it for and would better find what youre seeking say somewhere like a bar or on gay.com, but dont make enormous leaps like to compare flashing in public to unsolicited dick pics on grindr. Thats just crazy. 

And again, here you are, telling me I'm in the wrong place. It's not your place to decide I'm in the wrong place. That's arrogant. 

[120DaysofSodom]

1 minute ago, BootmanLA said:

And again, here you are, telling me I'm in the wrong place. It's not your place to decide I'm in the wrong place. That's arrogant. 

Its really not though. Its arrogant to assume people on grindr should conform to your standards of what is and is not appropriate behavior on grindr when its normal people get unsolicited dick pics. There is also an option on the profile which says, "Accepts NSFW pics", that is not very hard to click. 

[BootmanLA]

9 minutes ago, TwinkFoot said:

People in closed relationships arent on hookup apps unless theyre not really closed or one or both of them is cheating on the other. There might be some exceptions but that would be a rarity. "Keeping up with friends" can be easily accomplished through a text message or drinks at the bar, not on grindr lol. You are really reaching. 

So, you make a blanket statement that X people are only on Y apps for Z reason. Then you backtrack slightly, saying "OK, there might be some exceptions". Then you assume that "keeping up with friends" can be done other ways ( presumably, ways that YOU approve of, like texting) and that everyone else needs to shut up.

Here's a newsflash: not everyone wants their phone number out to people in general. I don't give my number to people to text me unless I'm confident it won't get out farther. I keep in touch with friends from various "realms" (my former gay rodeo career, my gay birding trips, etc.) via some of these apps, and no, I can't just "go get drinks at the bar" with people who live hundreds of miles away. And there are a lot of us who use the apps this way.

Now - some of us may also use them for sex-related activities - and there's nothing wrong with that, either. But it's up to US to determine how we use them, not you. And it's up to US to decide how we choose to react to unsolicited nudity (or unsolicited sex offers). And the fact that you keep circling back to "you just have to expect it and you're stupid for not liking it" tells me a lot about how invested you are in your vision of how the world needs to adapt itself to how YOU want to live your life. 

[120DaysofSodom]

Just now, BootmanLA said:

So, you make a blanket statement that X people are only on Y apps for Z reason. Then you backtrack slightly, saying "OK, there might be some exceptions". Then you assume that "keeping up with friends" can be done other ways ( presumably, ways that YOU approve of, like texting) and that everyone else needs to shut up.

Here's a newsflash: not everyone wants their phone number out to people in general. I don't give my number to people to text me unless I'm confident it won't get out farther. I keep in touch with friends from various "realms" (my former gay rodeo career, my gay birding trips, etc.) via some of these apps, and no, I can't just "go get drinks at the bar" with people who live hundreds of miles away. And there are a lot of us who use the apps this way.

Now - some of us may also use them for sex-related activities - and there's nothing wrong with that, either. But it's up to US to determine how we use them, not you. And it's up to US to decide how we choose to react to unsolicited nudity (or unsolicited sex offers). And the fact that you keep circling back to "you just have to expect it and you're stupid for not liking it" tells me a lot about how invested you are in your vision of how the world needs to adapt itself to how YOU want to live your life. 

I didnt backtrack on anything... grindr is for hooking up and people in closed relationships dont go on grindr except to entertain the idea of having sex with other people... Im just going to let you have the last word though because at this point this conversation bores me and you are the only gay guy ive ever met that thinks grindr is for "talking". 

But also just to help you out: there are messaging apps like [deleted] or kik that can conceal your phone number - again, apps which are designed for something specific. 

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, TwinkFoot said:

Im just going to let you have the last word though because at this point this conversation bores me and you are the only gay guy ive ever met that thinks grindr is for "talking". 

But also just to...

Newsflash: When you type a response to someone, by definition, you're not letting him have the last word. You're taking it for yourself. I think we've established my point about comprehension pretty adequately by now.

[NLbear]

12 hours ago, ErosWired said:

@BootmanLA and @NLbear - Interesting that your experience with these is so different from mine, that the ones passed to me tend to be genuine while the ones passed to you don’t. I’m not saying by any means that I don’t get false cock pics, but I do find that most of the ones I get are precursors to an actual cunting, and most of the equipment appears to arrive as advertised. Not always, but mostly.

  

I think I may given you the wrong impression @ErosWired. I didn't say the cock pics didn't match when we met. Most of them do. It's that I get unsolicited cock pics with a line like "want to fuck you" when the guy is in Australia (for instance) and I am on the other side of the world in Holland. What's the point?

[BootmanLA]

21 hours ago, NLbear said:

I think I may given you the wrong impression @ErosWired. I didn't say the cock pics didn't match when we met. Most of them do. It's that I get unsolicited cock pics with a line like "want to fuck you" when the guy is in Australia (for instance) and I am on the other side of the world in Holland. What's the point?

That's one of my issues too. I usually tell them "I don't think your cock will reach from there to here, and if it does, I'm pretty sure I can't take much of it."

Now, if someone opens with "I'm going to be in [my city] next week/month, think you might be interested in .....?", I may well give them the time of day.