Convince bf to do threesome on road trip?

[SFSloppyAznBottom]

My boyfriend and I are on a road trip. He’s heading home for two months.

I was trying to not hook up so we could spend more time together before the goodbye. However , there are so many requests from tops on apps that got me horny.

Would love to have a groupie or threesome with my bf, but I’m afraid to upset him too. We are open but don’t play together, he is pretty inexperienced sexually and very mild.

What do you think?

[BBdaddybear]

Turn over your phone to him and let him pick your next playmates...

[BootmanLA]

I'm not sure I understand 100% here.

You're on a road trip, and when you reach your destination, your partner is staying there (his home base) for a couple of months, while you return to where you live, right?

Or are you saying you're on a road trip, and you'll both return to where you live, then he's heading home for two months?

If it's the first option, then no problem: you'll be able to play with those other guys on your way home, and for now you can focus on your partner during your time before "the goodbye".

If it's the latter option, ASK. Tell him you want to spend as much time together as possible, but being on the road is a rare opportunity to play with others together, and see what he says. Tell him you're not urging it, but just noting it's an option. If he doesn't want to, you can drop it, focus on him, and go back to sex with others once he's gone for a couple of months.

In my view: if two guys are in an open relationship and each has *reasonably ample* opportunity to play with others, time with the partner should almost always take precedence over outside play. For me, reasonably ample doesn't mean you get to play with every single guy who shows interest, but that you get enough on the outside that you don't feel stifled on the inside. 

[bbzh]

12 hours ago, SFSloppyAznBottom said:

However, there are so many requests from tops on apps that got me horny.

Would love to have a groupie or threesome with my bf, but I’m afraid to upset him too. We are open but don’t play together, he is pretty inexperienced sexually and very mild.

You don't say: 1) how long you've been in this relationship, 2) how long it's been open, or 3) if it's (usually) don't ask, don't tell. These are all important factors in my view. In open relationships (I've been in one), it doesn't take much to trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity. And in your situation, this could be amplified because you are going to be apart for two months.

I vote for controlling your horniness and focusing on your partner until you are alone. Threesomes are overrated anyway. Usually someone gets neglected and catches feelings. Trust your gut. If you think it will upset your boyfriend, do yourself and him a favor by not even bringing it up. Besides, covid-19 should already be giving you pause about hooking up with strangers.   

And finally, here's a link to an article from the Advocate about the do's and don'ts of open relationships. It's worth a read. 

[think before following links] https://www.advocate.com/sexy-beast/2018/4/17/17-dos-and-donts-open-relationships#media-gallery-media-6

[ejaculaTe]

Ah, “road trip.” How many porn movies began with someone leaving on a road trip...? Visions of hunky hitchhikers standing on the shoulder of the road... sigh.... 

If one looked at his posts over the last month, one could easily think that SFSloppyAznBottom has, to use BootmanLA’s phrasing, a “reasonably ample opportunity to play with others” when BF isn’t around. As tempting as the idea of a 3-way might be, SFSloppy would be doing the “inexperienced” BF a big favor by focusing on BF. After all, how is the BF to gain experience if SFSloppy isn’t teaching him? And if SFSloppy is trying not to hook up in order to spend as much time as possible with BF, why is he on the apps, receiving all manner of offers to plow him like a corn field? Moreover, bbzh’s view of 3-ways is spot on. If someone can be unhappy when the activity simply involves 3 strangers, the odds of someone being pissed off go up exponentially when a couple is involved. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that in a 3-way, BF would be the pissed off participant. (In fact, I stopped doing 3-ways with couples precisely because one of the other guys would invariably “catch feelings” as bbzh says.)

My advice, if someone asked for it, would be to have SFSloppy keep his dick in his pants unless BF is reaching for it. If BF isn’t reaching for SFSloppy often enough, then that suggests a bigger problem that this road trip has exposed.

 

[SFSloppyAznBottom]

On 10/17/2020 at 1:48 AM, bbzh said:

You don't say: 1) how long you've been in this relationship, 2) how long it's been open, or 3) if it's (usually) don't ask, don't tell. These are all important factors in my view. In open relationships (I've been in one), it doesn't take much to trigger feelings of jealousy and insecurity. And in your situation, this could be amplified because you are going to be apart for two months.

I vote for controlling your horniness and focusing on your partner until you are alone. Threesomes are overrated anyway. Usually someone gets neglected and catches feelings. Trust your gut. If you think it will upset your boyfriend, do yourself and him a favor by not even bringing it up. Besides, covid-19 should already be giving you pause about hooking up with strangers.   

And finally, here's a link to an article from the Advocate about the do's and don'ts of open relationships. It's worth a read. 

[think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.advocate.com/sexy-beast/2018/4/17/17-dos-and-donts-open-relationships#media-gallery-media-6

 

On 10/17/2020 at 8:59 AM, ejaculaTe said:

Ah, “road trip.” How many porn movies began with someone leaving on a road trip...? Visions of hunky hitchhikers standing on the shoulder of the road... sigh.... 

If one looked at his posts over the last month, one could easily think that SFSloppyAznBottom has, to use BootmanLA’s phrasing, a “reasonably ample opportunity to play with others” when BF isn’t around. As tempting as the idea of a 3-way might be, SFSloppy would be doing the “inexperienced” BF a big favor by focusing on BF. After all, how is the BF to gain experience if SFSloppy isn’t teaching him? And if SFSloppy is trying not to hook up in order to spend as much time as possible with BF, why is he on the apps, receiving all manner of offers to plow him like a corn field? Moreover, bbzh’s view of 3-ways is spot on. If someone can be unhappy when the activity simply involves 3 strangers, the odds of someone being pissed off go up exponentially when a couple is involved. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that in a 3-way, BF would be the pissed off participant. (In fact, I stopped doing 3-ways with couples precisely because one of the other guys would invariably “catch feelings” as bbzh says.)

My advice, if someone asked for it, would be to have SFSloppy keep his dick in his pants unless BF is reaching for it. If BF isn’t reaching for SFSloppy often enough, then that suggests a bigger problem that this road trip has exposed.

 

We’ve been together for 9 months, open for 4, and it’s a don’t ask don’t tell.

BF is very oral and vanilla and thinks anal sex is kinky. That’s one of the main reasons we opened up the relationship, different sexual needs.

Thanks for the perspective. I will avoid hooking up this trip and have the threesome/group play talk when he’s home again.

[bbzh]

Maybe that threesome/group play you're fantasizing about should be something you live out on your own without him...chances are that if he is vanilla, he is probably not going to find it fun to watch strangers (that he may find unattractive) fuck and breed you. Now if he comes to you with it, that's a different story. It sounds like from what little you've revealed here that you are sexually incompatible and it's gonna take a lot for you to stay together. I get the whole thing about wanting your cake and eating it too, but maybe you guys would be better off as friends. Or if you're really in love (and not simply in love with the idea of being in love), consider that you might just have to eat dinner at home and enjoy dessert somewhere else.  

[SFSloppyAznBottom]

5 hours ago, bbzh said:

Maybe that threesome/group play you're fantasizing about should be something you live out on your own without him...chances are that if he is vanilla, he is probably not going to find it fun to watch strangers (that he may find unattractive) fuck and breed you. Now if he comes to you with it, that's a different story. It sounds like from what little you've revealed here that you are sexually incompatible and it's gonna take a lot for you to stay together. I get the whole thing about wanting your cake and eating it too, but maybe you guys would be better off as friends. Or if you're really in love (and not simply in love with the idea of being in love), consider that you might just have to eat dinner at home and enjoy dessert somewhere else.  

That’s a good advice. I’ll think about that when he’s away and have the talk after his return. 
It’s my first relationship and his first open relationship, so we both have a lot to learn.

Thank you !

[ejaculaTe]

Update of sorts by SFSloppy (look at "Road trip fun" in Your Last Load):

 

     On a 18 days road trip. Bf hasn’t been too sexual so I’ve resorted to local-guys-tasting.

     Rough start at Denver. A really hot Stanford kid was interested . I went to his service apartment and it required a card to access the elevator. He won’t come          down and get me and kept asking me to tailgate.  I tried and failed, and the strict security of the building made me uneasy. He has the audacity to ask me to keep trying, after a twenty minutes of failed attempt. This is the my third bad experience with a Stanford guy, would be my last for now.

     Left the building, an average looking poz cub nearby asked if I wanted to fuck. I went straight over, he took me down to his basement. He lubed up my ass and kept fucking me doggy while interracial  porn is playing loudly at the background. He then turn me over and said, “do you want my load?” 
“yes please,daddy,” I said. He opened my leg wide and pounded me real hard, unloading in me eventually.

     My boy pussy was satisfied. Another example that average looking guys often provide better experience than the hot ones. 

------

 

[SFSloppyAznBottom]

Had a heart to heart talk with bf and this came up in our conversation naturally.

Bf said he’s not ready for a threesome, but totally cool with me playing around as long as we are being transparent to each other.

He briefly mentioned he occasionally watched bdsm porn and is curious about it, so I think there’s potential to get him to explore more in the future.