A Young Teen Twink Matures into a Poz PnP Cum Whore

February 28, 2021

Prior to age 20 I had never had sex. Everything I had done sexually had been basically alone. As a younger guy, I remember rubbing my dick on my bed or my hand as I lay face down. As my body changed with puberty, I discovered my ability to cum when rubbing my dick or stroking it. I continued to grow and become sexually curious. I would regularly look through a crack at the bottom of the bathroom door in hopes of catching a glimpse of their dick, ass, or whole naked body. I fantasized about watching them jerk off, although this never happened. I quickly became bolder and secretly started talking photos and short video clips of my brothers or dad shirtless as they slept or did various tasks. I collected the trimmed pubic hair that my brother would leave in the bathroom trashcan or on the floor and toilet seat. I would then put them bunch in a small dime bag and label them with the date and my brother’s name. I was once caught using scissors to take a trimming of my dad’s belly hair while he was napping in just his underwear. He woke up while I was doing it but I’m not sure if he was completely awake or aware of what I was up to. I also developed an underwear fetish that begun with my own white briefs and progressed to a longing for boxers and the underwear from the male members of my family. I would wear their underwear and take video clips or photos of me wearing them. I would often wear my brother’s underwear on days I felt particularly horny or when I was running low on clean briefs. Although he did the same (this turned me on a lot) it seemed to be out of necessity and laziness when doing laundry.

I remember looking through the metal grates on the gym locker doors at my middle and high school. I would tell the gym teacher that I was going to use the restroom in the boy’s locker room. That gave me about 10 minutes to go through the rows of lockers looking for underwear and speedos from swimming class. To get them, I would look to see if there was no lock on the locker door. If there wasn’t, I could easily snatch the pair of underwear and shove it into the bottom of my backpack after I made my complete rounds. If there was a lock, I was sometimes able to pry open the doors since they were already bent and didn’t close properly due to decades of use. Occasionally I would be able to pull the underwear out through an opening on the edge of the busted door. Once or twice, I was able to steal some nice cologne. Before the end of high school, I was able to fill an entire drawer in my bureau with more than 40 pairs of stolen underwear. I would imagine hot classmates wearing them before swimming class, and then coming back to the locker room to find them gone. Much of the underwear was from the lockers of boys involved in sports teams and were simply spares to change into after practice. In college, I visited the sports center pool a few times, just so I could jack off naked and alone in the sauna room and poke through jocks’ lockers in the empty locker room. I used my perfected method of prying open the locker door, pulling the underwear through cracks, etc.

At this time, I had been experimenting with using the neck of empty wine bottles and other objects to fuck my ass. I eventually bought a small Colt butt plug when I was 19 or 20. I remember the initial feeling of pain from what felt like a massive object, inside of me. A few years later I bought a larger expanding ass anchor butt plug and was able to comfortably use it regularly.

A few months before I turned 21, I met my future boyfriend, Michael, on Grommr. The website is for people who are into weight gaining, encouraging, and other related activities. I had always found the idea of changing my body hot (whether it be gaining fat, getting tattoos, or even piercings). I remember inviting him over to inflate one day. This involved pumping air into our asses to feel full and bigger. I remember I was completely nervous because I had never done anything sexual with anyone and I wasn’t even out of the closet yet. By the end of that summer, I had come out as gay to my family and friends and told them about my new boyfriend. Over the next half a year Michael and I frequently inflated ourselves with air and jerked off. Eventually, I felt like I needed more than jerking off. I suggested we try fucking but I could tell he wasn’t totally into the idea. When he finally agreed to bottoming, I could tell he was in pain from penetration of my 8-inch cock. Unfortunately, there were no more fucking sessions with him.

By December of that year, I was growing sexually restless. I had heard of the app Grindr and decided to create a profile just to see what it was all about. Just a few days after Christmas I felt I was thinking about being fucked for the first time. A 50-something year old guy in my neighborhood had messaged me and suggested I spend the night at his house where he could give me my first cock and break open my virgin hole. I remember walking over to his house but then stopping about 50 feet away. I was apprehensive about cheating on my boyfriend, but I had figured that there was no way that he would know. Ultimately these hesitations did not matter because the older man had seen me near his house already and waved for me to walked towards his direction.

My biggest fear of being penetrated was the idea of extreme pain. I did not want to get hurt or have my hole permanently damaged. He was gentle though and slid his cock into me slowly as I lay on my stomach with my face buried into a pillow. Eventually he had me flip onto my back with my ass and legs up, then continued to fuck me gently. When he came, it felt like something out of a porn video. I had never thought that I would have the courage to go through with something like a Grindr hookup and then have a man shoot a load (into a condom) while fucking me.

I believe we fucked once more that night and then fell to sleep as he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his warm body and cock against my back.

The next day I felt overwhelmed with guilt about cheating on my boyfriend. I eventually felt that I had to tell him and hoped that begging for forgiveness would make things better. Unfortunately, it didn’t. Michael broke up with me the day before New Year’s Eve. For the first three or four weeks of that new year, I was completely devastated. This didn’t last for long, however.

What I didn’t know at the time was that the daddy cock I had taken several weeks before had opened a gateway into my life as a whore. Not before long, I was back on Grindr and Scruff. This time, I wouldn’t have to feel the sense of guilt that comes with cheating.

I was still apprehensive about anything crazy during sex. At first, I only wanted to be fucked gently or at an easy pace. I was selective about the guys I would sneak into my house. They had to be at least moderately attractive and under the age of about 35. Any alcohol and drugs were a definite no. Condoms were an absolute must during sex. I also would only bottom and was self-conscious of have a clean and shaved ass. I was also concerned about the hookup’s status as being clean and STD free. Any guys who were HIV undetectable positive were, in my mind, the same as those who were infectious, detectable, or had AIDS. They would usually receive an automatic block, even if they hadn’t messaged me. To be honest, they completely scared and disgusted me. I saw them as being unclean, reckless, undesirable, and unattractive.

Over the next several months I continued to expand my sexual horizons. I even bought poppers. This was likely my gateway into PnP sex. If you had asked me about buying them even a year before, I would have been horrified. Drugs (even weed) were an absolute no for me. For some reason, I justified poppers because I didn’t them a ‘real’ drug.

The crazy rush I felt when I first sniffed my new bottle of poppers seemed euphoric. My heart raced and my body felt immobilized. I quickly started playing with my cock as a feeling of arousal came over me. Poppers allowed some of those sexually safe barriers to come down. 5 seconds after I sniffed the bottle, I knew I was ready for a pounding.

Over the next few months, I was fucked by no less than a dozen men. Most of these were youngish Latino men. Initially I still demanded on safe protected sex. My forming addiction to poppers made this quickly all go away. Something seemed to have switched on in my brain. Even when I wasn’t sniffing poppers, I was turned on by the idea of getting fucked raw and being loaded with cum. I was not using PrEP and, for some reason I didn’t make a real connection between barebacking and STDs. I still was horrified by the idea of getting STDs or HIV but, like many young gays, I felt like I was immune to them and invincible.

Some of my favorite hookups from that late winter/ springtime period included:

-Getting fucked in a guy’s car in a local park. Unfortunately, we soon found out there was a police car very close by. That definitely freaked me out.

-I was told by a Grindr hookup (who happened to be a fry cook at my college’s café) to be on the front stairs with my ass up and the front door ajar. He walked in and rubbed my ass, smacked it, and inserted his fingers. Unfortunately, he could keep his dick hard, so he left.

-Receiving a 9-inch black cock. This experience was completely new to me. To be honest, it scared me a lot. I hoped that enough poppers would make it a pleasurable and less painful experience. I cannot lie and say it didn’t not hurt like hell. However, this didn’t not matter in the end because the big load of warm cum that filled my hole and dripped out of me, made it completely worthwhile.

I also hooked up with some pretty hot guys from the two local colleges. Eventually though, I was able to travel via Uber (not being able to drive) to various Grindr hookup’s houses for fuck sessions. I told my parents that I was staying with a few female friends or that I was going out to a restaurant with them. In reality, I was travelling via Uber as far as an hour away for hookups.

On one of these long uber trips, I had found my first fuck that involved more than 1 person. I travelled an hour just to party with a hookup host and a few other guys that he said were coming over. I assumed ‘party’ simply meant hanging out, fucking, drinking, etc. The idea of drinking was, at the time, on my ‘banned’ list of things that I would do. The idea of experiencing group sex for the first time, completely turned me on and minimized all risky factors.

Little did I know that party actually meant to parTy. The idea of PnP was not even on my raider. I knew absolutely nothing about that whole world. At best, I had been curious about weed and the effects it might produce. At that time, I had no idea how one would have smoked it or what it smelled like.

When I arrived at the host’s apartment, there was another guy there. Pete, the host, offered me a small pipe he had been smoking on. He asked if I wasn’t to try what he called ‘Tina’. Not wanting to seem uncool, and assuming it was weed, I said yes. Within 20 minutes I turned into a complete slut. Pete, who was a 30 something year old white guy, offered me to be used by two other guys who were in the bedroom. The first guy, John, was a 19-year-old twink with a hot slim body and pierced nipples. The other guy, Tony, was a 30 something year old guy with a slim to average build and a mostly smooth body.

While I was beginning to feel the effect, Pete mentioned something about Tony ‘just getting out’ from somewhere. Being confused, I asked Pete what he meant by that. He said that he had been in prison and was just released recently. Normally this would have freaked me out, but I was too busy sucking dick and getting my ass used to be concerned. In fact, I thought it was kind of hot. I assumed he was in jail for stealing, drunk driving, or something like that.

Through that night, I was completely spun and was willing to eat musky ass, get choked by dick, get eaten out, get fingered and fisted, and of course pounded, bred, and fucked out of my mind. I encouraged them to take videos and pictures of me getting used, as long as they sent them to me so I could jerk off to them later.

Additional guys were supposed to come but I think there was only one other man who stayed for a little while. Eventually Tony left and things began to wind down. Tony messaged me on Grindr saying that I should come to his place to continue getting fucked. I thanked Pete for what I called “the best night in my life” and told him I was going to go home (by Uber) but in reality, Tony picked up at the end of the housing development and drove me to his apartment in the next town over. When I left, John and Pete were still hanging out and fucking. Pete seemed to be obsessed with him. Tony later told me that Pete had John stay there for a whole week so that they could continue an endless PnP fueled party where they would invite over random guys to smoke and fuck.

Tony told me that John quickly became addicted to Tina and then went crazy, losing his job and apartment. The idea of a vanilla teenage twink becoming a chem addicted whore turns me on immensely. Later I found out that he basically turned into a sex addicted slut. Having lost most of his life and relationships to his affinity parTying, he had nothing to lose. He even aspired to be a porn star. I now follow him on his racy Instagram page and found that he has an OnlyFans page and gay porn site profile (thanks to a link in his Instagram bio). In the last semi-nude Instagram picture, I saw of him, I saw the recognizable curve of a large biohazard tattoo peeking out from his speedo. I have no doubt that he probably became poz from being such a chem whore. Clearly his attempt to quite the habit didn’t stick long.

Returning to the story of my post-orgy fuck at Tony’s apartment: I continued being a spun slut. I begged to drink his piss and take his cum and cock. Tony mentioned his desire for drinking piss and scat play. Although we never got to the scat play, I found the idea completely arousing (having done it myself while jerking off in the past). I stayed up the rest of the night continuing our activities.

The next day Tony called me and told me he felt guilty. I felt my stomach drop, thinking he was going to say he didn’t tell me he had HIV or some horrible STD. He then proceeded to admit he had herpes. Any explanation he gave about being in remission or not contagious, did not make a different. By that time, the euphoric and horny effects of the Tina had disappeared, and I was horrified that I had put myself at risk the night before. It was even less helpful that Tony told me that he had gone to jail TWICE for being an ‘accidental’ pedophile. Thankfully I found out I was clean.

A few months later, I met my second boyfriend, a guy in his late 30s who we will call Justin. We met via a Grindr hookup but soon started hanging out. We frequently texted and met that summer before I headed to Boston for grad school in late August. It was at this time that I first experienced a bathhouse on a trip to Providence. When I left for Boston we decided to stay in touch and continue an “open relationship” where we would be boyfriends but still be able to hook up with other guys (in moderation and using protection and PrEP. It ended up that he didn’t really need PrEP because it was me who was hooking up with guys.

At 22 years old and finally living away from my family for the first time, I was starting my first year of grad school in Boston. I was amazed by all the hookup options, thanks to a ton of young college guys in the area. I was basically able to get dick around the city whenever I wanted. I would travel via the subway (T), walking, or by Lyft or Uber. Occasionally I would invite guys over to my apartment. I shared this apartment with a young couple who just had a baby.

Some memorable hookups from this first year were:

-Being a submissive faggot for a dom. He beat me, shoved a hand in my ass, and almost made me pass out from choking on his cock. I was in tears and trying to muffle my screams by the time he pumped his load into me

-Being fucked anon with the front door, inner apartment door, and my bedroom door, slightly ajar and unlocked so that a guy could come in and fuck me.

-Being brutally used by a satanic guy with a pentagram tattoo on his torso and other tattoos. He fucked me loud and hard in the bathroom shower. I remember the shower curtain and rod fell down, making a loud sound. He didn’t care though and continued to destroy my ass as I moaned. I was a bit concerned about my roommates trying to sleep just on the other side of the bathroom’s paper-thin walls. Their baby was also sleeping in the room on the other side of the bathroom.

-Being fucked by a hot black guy (complete with 6 pack) which he allowed me to film. It was around that time that I really became aroused by the idea of being photographed and filmed while being fucked and used.

-My favorite hookup from that first year was a hookup with two black guys. One was beefy and tall and the other was also fit but slim. They suggested double penetration, which I had never done before. I hoped that the fisting and dildos in my ass over the past year would make it possible for them to insert both of their big black cocks into me. The beefy guy laid on the bed with his dick straight up into my tight boy hole while the other guy was behind me with his long cock pounding me hard. I am still turned on by the memory of them cumming inside me at the same time. I was only double penetrated once after that. That time, it was by two Latino guys who did not speak English. They spoke in Spanish to each other as they forcefully used me. I wonder what they could have been saying to each other. Maybe to pound me without mercy?

By this point, any concerns about safe sex or PrEP, were not a concern of mine. I still felt like invincible against STDs, despite the run in with the herpes infected sex offender earlier that year. With the mindset that “it could never happen to me”, I loaded up on cum without any hesitation. If a guy asked if I practice safe sex, I assumed that he was concerned about STDs and would only use a condom. In these instances, I said that I also used condoms. I assumed that they wouldn’t want to fuck some cum whore who was taking loads left and right from random guys that he didn’t even know if they were actually clean.

During this time, I would travel to my home state on some weekends to spend time with my boyfriend. On the weekdays I would go to grad school classes and hook up a few times a week (at most) at night. I would at first tell my boyfriend that I was “going out” which meant that I was hooking up. This was ok because of our open relationship. Of course, he assumed I was being safe about using condoms and PrEP so he didn’t ask anything about these Grindr hookups. Eventually I was doing it 3 times a week, so I felt guilty that I was such as a whore. I would make excuses for not being able to talk with him on certain nights. I would say I was at some event, lecture, out with grad school buddies, really tired and needed to sleep, etc.

At the beginning of September, just before my second school year, my old roommates moved out. They wanted to be in a less urban environment to raise their child. Through my school, I found that a fellow grad student that I knew was looking for an apartment room to rent. This new roommate, Tymo, was a Filipino guy who lived in Canada. He came to the United States for school. He was almost 30 years old, average height, had short black hair, was somewhat thick with both fat and muscle, and seemed likely gay. He signed onto the lease earlier in the summer and we worked together to find a third roommate.

Rather quickly our ad on Craigslist, and in other places, came to fruition. We received several offers for the apartment room but decided on a guy named Dan. He had a very polite and kind manner to him. He was a hot 22-year-old otter, white, 6 ft tall, brown hair, a bit of beard scruff and slender (but not skinny) with some muscle definition. He was likely also gay, but I didn’t think too much of it at the time.

When the new roommates moved in on September 1st, I was able to move to the larger more desirable bedroom in the end of the hall. The apartment building that we were in had 3 units (one on each floor). We were in unit 1 on the first floor. There were three bedrooms, a living room, hallway, one bathroom, kitchen, small pantry, and a small multiuse room just beyond that. There was a small vestibule just inside the front door with two doors that accessed our unit and the second floor. The outer front door would always automatically lock, meaning that a key was needed to open it unless it was left ajar. We also usually locked the inner door at all times. The back door in the kitchen led into a narrow stairwell with access to the shared basement laundry room and a door that led into the side yard. This arrangement was fairly typical for the college rental units in the ‘student ghetto’ that was our neighborhood.

I had planned on continuing to host Grindr hookups as well as traveling to guy’s apartments. By this time, my boyfriend agreed to be in a monogamous relationship. Of course, this is not what happened in reality. In Boston I was still getting cocks and loads wherever I could find them. I would get loaded up with cum on a Friday evening and then take a 1 hour and 45-minute bus ride to my home state to spend the weekend with my boyfriend. He had no idea that he was getting sloppy seconds and using random guy’s cum as additional lube. He even ate my ass out frequently so I am surprised he couldn’t taste the semen.

The big moment that switched me from a teen twink to a sex object that I could never have imagined, came from a guy I met on Grindr. He told me he wanted to parTy at my apartment with me. I was curious to feel the level of horniness that I felt a few years earlier while blowing cloud in that group sex hookup. I was nervous about slamming. I had never done it before and didn’t want to end up dead. He seemed like he knew what he was doing though, so that put me at ease a bit.

The guy started off by tying a band around my arm, getting the point ready with the T, and carefully inserting it into my arm. That moment when he took off the arm band was the craziest feeling I have ever felt. I felt a rush to my body. He told me to put my arm above my head as I coughed. Then I felt free and immediately became super relaxed as I felt tension and stress disappear. I suddenly became confident, talkative and unbelievably horny. I begged for cock, cum, and a huge dildo to use my ass. Luckily, he had brought over a giant, extremely thick, 9-inch dildo that he even let me have afterwards. I believe this guy also introduced me to G.

It’s a good thing that my roommates were not home because the sounds of my moaning, ass being pounded, and the sloppy wet hole being destroyed, could probably be heard through the entire apartment.

I felt like I would do anything just to get off. I had turned into a complete cum whore and was begging to be used. I drank my piss fresh from the source and off the floor. I didn’t care about it getting all over my bed, mattress, sheets, and furniture. I rubbed it all over my body and mixed it with olive oil. I then pissed into my douche and squeezed it into my sloppy ass. My hole was so stretched out from the dildos and dick that I couldn’t even keep the contents in. I would then release it into glasses and drink it or pour it over myself, allowing it pool on the wood floor, carpet, and bed. I also shoved an open bottle full of olive oil into my hole, allowing gravity to release it inside of me. Using what was left out of my stretched-out sphincter, I was able to suction it in and out of my ass, allowing the olive oil and the remainder of the guy’s load, my piss, lube, and ass juices to mix together, making a delicious bottle of liquid. I told the guy that I would leave the olive oil bottle in the kitchen for my roommate, Dan, to use for cooking, unbeknownst to him that it had been ‘tampered’ with. In my mind, he would be consuming a guy’s load (which I later found out was poz undetectable cum) mixed with my own Tina piss, slimy ass juices and silicon lube. I wondered if he would even notice the taste as he took his first bite of pasta or whatever he was making that day. Unfortunately, the hookup said this was malicious behavior, so I never went through with the plan. Eventually the hookup guy said he had to leave to catch a flight. Completely spun out of my mind from Tina and poppers, I told him to leave the bedroom door open so my roommates could walk into the apartment and see me with my ass working the big dildos that were stuck to my wall.

Soon after the guy left, I showered and cleaned up a little bit. I then invited over a fat black guy with a huge cock. I don’t even think I saw his face. I just wanted his thick veiny 8.5-inch black cock along with his nut and anything else he wanted to use me for. He ended up staying for over 7 hours.

My boyfriend, Justin, called me at some point but I didn’t hear the phone. Justin sent his sister to my house to see if I had died or something. I heard banging on one of my windows, but I had no idea who it was, so I kept my lights off, door locked, and window shades down as I told the guy to continue fucking me. I eventually answered one of Justin’s calls with this stranger’s cock still pounding me. He was so worried that he was already on the way to Boston to check on me. I had the hookup guy quickly leave and tried to clean up the room as best I could even though I seemed to be suffering from overdose. That night did not end well, and I had to go to the hospital the next day. I convinced everyone that it was bad food poisoning and dehydration.

I was turned off from parTying for a few months that fall. Then I met a guy on Grindr that we can call Jake. He was mid 30s (although he looked younger), vers, a smooth twink, and lived in a house a few miles from me, and about 4 miles south of Back Bay. I’m not sure if we first met at my apartment or his house. Jayson brought me back into the PnP world of T and G.

He had a spacious basement apartment that was lit with colored LED lights and had comfortable beanbag seating and a thick carpet located in front of a TV screen. He would play music, put on loud gay porn, and would invite over 18 + teens and young men to jack off together and get fucked by anon strangers.

Jake had permanent hidden security cameras all over his house that recording everything, including my face to my ass getting fucked.

When he was getting fucked, he would say he wanted the top to “charge him up”. I didn’t know that this meant at the time. It was only later, when I was completely spun and begging to be pozzed, that I even knew what he had meant.

Jake told me that a few years prior, he purposely got infected by sitting on a teenager’s dick. He knew well in advance that this boy had untreated HIV, making every drop of his seed very toxic. Although he was no undetectable, he said that he would stealth twinks and convert them. He hinted that he sometimes went off his meds to poz guys (willingly or unwilling).

His friend (the one who reintroduced me to T) also had similar stories, so I assumed that there was some sort of sick group that did things like that, did a lot of meth and G, and kept a low profile online but were sex addicted men who tried to get pozzed, were successfully pozzing bug chasers or stealthing innocent guys from hookups. He and Jake would make strait-laced twinks into crazy cum sluts begging to be pozzed for real with the use of T, G, and other forms of chem sex/ PnP. During the following months, I saw this guy often. I even went to a bathhouse with him and another hot guy.

In the following weeks, I developed a desire and then absolute need to be pounded hard…. having my ass destroyed and used. During this time, I started taking bareback dick and getting breed almost all the time. I only used a condom if the guy said he only used condoms. Then I would pretend like I only fucked safe. Eventually, I couldn’t stand the idea or feeling of condoms. By this time, I was only taking raw cock. I would usually try and seek out big black cock and insisted that they must breed me. If I was super horny and spun that night, I would hungrily beg for any guy to come fuck me, even if it was a top who only wore condoms. I would then empty the used condoms into my ass or eat the fresh load after the guy left or even while the guy was getting dressed to leave. I remember guys watching in horror as I did this

Very quickly, getting fucked became exclusively about the cum load and cock. I preferred a big black cock, regardless of what the man it was attached to looked like. Soon, I was knowingly taking all sorts of black. homeless, fat, ugly, likely not STD free, etc. because I wanted the BBC inside me more than anything and I didn’t care what it was attached to. As long as that being could forcefully use me and keep going regardless of if I begged or told him it hurt or to stop. Eventually it was completely about being filled, destroyed, and collecting another load.

All this while I was guiltlessly cheating on my boyfriend who lived back in my home-state. By December of my second year I was growing extremely careless in my position as a cum whore. I would leave the inner and outer front doors unlocked and slightly open so men could just walk into my bedroom, pull out their cock, pound me, cum in me, and leave. I often wouldn’t even see their face. This is why I eventually contacted down low and faceless guys on Grindr. I knew that if I put my address in my Grindr bio or sent it to as many random people as I could, guys would definitely come and cum. In some cases, I had to schedule my hookups so that I had one breeding session after another back to back. Often, the guys didn’t know they were getting sloppy seconds. In some cases, one guy was walking into my bedroom while one was walking out. If I wasn’t careful there would be overlap and a guy would walk into my bedroom as a different guy was pounding my ass. This happened when a fuck session went on longer than I thought.

I quickly became even more careless. I remember getting high on T, G, and poppers, and bred dick after dick (as usual) one night into the morning and early afternoon. About 5 PM I took a bus back to my home-state to his house and proposed to him It had been on my mind for several months and I spontaneously felt like now was a good time. I held the ring box in my hand and was on one knee as warm loads from numerous guys dripped out of my ass and soaked my underwear and pants. That night he fucked me. The dimmed light hid the usual marks on my neck, created from random guys. Justin (who was suddenly my fiancé) pounded my ass passionately, completely unaware that the anon loads from strangers were providing most of the lube. My favorite part was cleaning their loads off his dick with my mouth.

In one case I told my fiancé I was going for a run around the neighborhood in an attempt to stay active as a new year’s resolution. When I arrived home 40 minutes later with cum dripping down my leg, he had no idea that I had actually just put on sneakers, t shirt, and shorts so I could go down the street to a Grindr hookup’s condo for a fuck session

That January, I was staying at Justin’s house during the winter break. During a day trip to Boston (for one of his appointments) I bought my own first ball of T. I tried it out over the next several days by snorting the T in his bathroom and fucking myself with a dildo for hours while sniffing poppers and filming myself. I initially told Justin that I was taking a long relaxing bath.

During that winter break, I became increasingly bold and careless. The Tina had created me into a complete cum whore, convincing me to invite hookups over to my boyfriend’s apartment while he was out of state for 4 days for a work conference. I took this opportunity to get spun and high on T, G, and poppers and invite over a Grindr hookup who briefly became my master.

Once he realized I was a submissive slut, the guy told me to leave the apartment and bedroom doors open and to put on a blindfold. He said I should be on the floor of Justin’s bedroom ready to serve him. When he arrived, he started by having me lick his feet and toes. He then lay on my Justin’s bed and had be choke on his cock and lick his balls for at least 45 minutes. He had me eat out his musky ass as well. I begged for him to piss in my mouth to nourish my slave body. I also gave him a metal bowl to piss in so that I could drink from it or have him pour the contents into my gaping hole. My favorite part was him pissing directly into my open hole as I lay in the bathtub. The worst part of this session was when he shoved a gigantic dildo in and out of my ass. The Tina had started to wear off and the whole experience was extremely painful. I could feel my hole being stretched out and damaged. I couldn’t even keep my ass together by the end. All of these acts to serve my master were filmed and photographed by him. I gave him permission to share it online and with anyone he desired. I went by this rule all the time at my own city apartment. In fact, I encouraged and begged guys to film, photograph, and share the content that showed my whole face and body getting pounded, face fucked, etc.

After my master was done using me, he invited over other men to fuck my ass as he watched on the side and patted me on the head like a dog. He left for the night, leaving me in the company of a thick Latino cock that was followed by a BBC. This anon BBC was completely anonymous. I didn’t see him in person, as I was blindfolded. I had only seen his dick in a photo he sent me on Grindr. I remember his massive body pushing down on me with one forceful hand on my lower back and one on my sideways turned head, stopping me from moving or having control. He then brutally pounded my hole with his huge dick and eventually he grunted and shot a nice creamy load in me. He then quickly left, never to be heard from again.

Back in Boston during the spring semester, I achieved a record of 15 loads (from 12 different guys) during the period of an afternoon to the next morning. I was always trying to collect as many anon loads as possible. As a result, I wasn’t concerned where the cock came from. It could be from any race, age, body type, or cock size. I wasn’t even concerned about their STD or HIV status.

Eventually, I was even turned on by being infected by HIV and made into a Poz slut. I would write phrases and words all over my body like: POZ WHORE, POZ SLUT, TOXIC BIOHAZARD, HIV CUM DUMP AIDS WHORE or any combination of those words in big black Sharpie letters on my legs, thighs, dick, stomach, chest, arms, back, ass, and even face. Of course, I got quite a bit of help with the constant rewriting of BREED ME on my ass cheeks. I would send photos of completely high with this writing on my body to random men on Grindr. I would even make it my profile pic and make my profile name something like, POZ4SEED or POZWHORE. I was so horny every night that not only was I not concerned about my gay roommates (also all on Grindr) seeing my profile. The idea of being poz or experience a poz was, at that point, still a fantasy. I continued to feel that I was invincible or immune to any sort of STD or HIV. Many nights I wouldn’t even think about what negative effects might be created by getting fucked raw and letting men cum in my ass. I went as far as to search for Poz Undetectable men (which in my mind was a big [banned word]) and told random guys online that I wanted to be pozzed or that I had already been infected because I was a ;’bug chaser’ who was recently made toxic by a ‘gift giver’. In my mind when I wasn’t completely high and horny, my thought was that I would probably ok because Poz undetectable means that I can’t get it.

Unfortunately, weeks before I had turned into a self-proclaimed AIDS biohazard (covered with these words and Sharpie drawings of the Poz biohazard symbol and dicks squirting cum), I was less extreme and cum crazed and told various cautious guys that I was Neg. They ended up seeing my profile pic, name, and bio saying otherwise and promised to bring me down. I was too horny to care. I even started sending out the link to my newly created Pornhub channel where I would post photos and videos of myself solo as well as being fucked by other guys. Guys would often say not to share the pics and vids or to not take pics and vids at all. Luckily, I realized how hot this content was, so I posted it on my Pornhub channel anyways. I would even secretly film and photograph pairs of guys fucking on my bed so I could put it on my channel.

Soon things got even crazier. I was paying large amounts of money each night or two to transport BBC to my bedroom. In one case, I was willingly to spend any amount to transport a homeless huge black man to my apartment, knowing damn well that I would do anything to get that extremely thick and veiny 9.5-inch black meat. When I let him pound me for entire nights, as with other men, I would often lose track of time and leave little to no time to get to class by its start time. As a result, I had to leave this monster black thug in my basement or bedroom while I was in class or at school meetings. This situation happened with a few other black and Latino men. I would also spend large amounts of money on Uber and Lyft rides to get to class last minute (so I wasn’t late or so that I wasn’t even more late). I would then take an Uber back to my apartment on my 2 hour lunch break between classes so that I could take some T and get high enough to push a dildo in and out of my hole as I moaned and thought about all the cocks I could get that night. Then I would take another uber to the school to maximize my time using my ass but still arrive to class on time. I would often take an Uber back to maximize the time I had that evening to get fucked. 6PM to 8AM seemed to go by in the blink of an eye.

During these weeks, I grew curious about my roommates’ sex lives. I would go into their bedrooms while they were away from the apartment. In Dan’s room he had a bottle of lube on his nightstand, condoms and a small vibrator in the drawer, and plenty of jockstraps in a bureau drawer. I selected one of these jockstraps for my own use. It was white with ‘Papi’ written in red around the waist band. I used this to get fucked in and cum into. I thought of his tight hairy otter/twink ass filling the same spot that my body was now in. Unfortunately, one day I left that jockstrap at Jake’s house and never got it back.

I would sneak back into their rooms every now and then to look for additional sex toys, jockstraps, underwear, etc. All this investigating made me obsess over Dan and Tymo. I would beg my tops to message my hot roommates, attempting to get them to send nudes or vids. I told one top to send me pics of my own naked body to Dan, claiming that it was taken of me (without me knowing) as I slept. I actually took the photos and told him which ones to send but I was initially unsure if he actually did send it to Dan. As a result, I decided to message Dan myself under a fake profile with profile pics that I had taken from the Facebook page of a Latino stud I went to high school with. I tried to start a conversation that would, hopefully, lead to him sending me nudes, shirtless pics, or even telling me something perverted like one of his fantasies. I think I was able to get a “Hi” out of him in one of my fake profiles, but I wasn’t able to get him to respond after that.

That February, I would often arrive late to classes because I was so turned on that any other obligations came second. For example, I would spend the whole night getting fucked or jerking off but would then see that it was almost 5 AM. I told myself that I would definitely be able to cum and be finished well in time for my 8:30 AM class. I would give myself 30 minutes to clean up the piss, used condoms, wet towels, etc. from the floor and bed and then shower and quickly eat breakfast. Then it would take 25 minutes to walk to the school building. In reality however, it would get closer and closer to 8:30 and I would tell myself, ‘I can get a snack from the vending machine at school for breakfast to save time’ or ‘I can take an uber to school to save 15 minutes’. In the end, I often finished the last fuck or jerk off session leaving just 15 minutes to get cleaned up and transported to school. I would immediately regret putting dick before school. On those rushed mornings I would have to skip the shower (even though I was usually covered in ass juices cum, sweat, and sometimes piss) and just quickly wash my cock, armpits, arms, and chest at the bathroom sink to remove residue. I would usually leave no time to clean up the bedroom. This meant that there were pnp equipment, used condoms, wet sticky dildo, and piss-soaked towels strewn around the room for days or even weeks. When I would arrive a bit late or very late, I would make up some excuse to the professors. I imagine what it was like for the students to sit with me for hours while I reeked of piss, cum, body odor, shit, and tina. A few times I skipped the class where I was working as a teacher’s assistant. I said I was physically ill but in I was rubbing my cock and sniffing poppers on the floor of Jake’s basement as some spun naked 18-year-old guys slept beside me.

Multiple times, I had to leave guys in my bedroom while I hurried to school. If it was a meeting, I would let them stay in the room and keep quiet so my roommates wouldn’t hear if they were home. If I had to go to an all-day class, I would tell them to let themselves out via the back door, after they had gotten dressed, showered, and cleaned up. Unfortunately for me, they left the doors wide open (which I found out later from an email sent by my roommates). On one occasion, I had been getting fucked by my usual black 9-incher until 15 minutes before class. He had nowhere to go and was not washed or dressed yet. To make it worse, he was sleepy from alcohol and had all his clothes in the washer machine in the basement laundry room. I obviously did not have time to wait for it to finish in the washer machine, then the dryer, and wait for him to shower, dress, and get his belongings together. I told him that I had to leave for the day and told him to stay in the basement (naked) while his clothes were being cleaned. He could then let himself out the outer back door that led to a walkway to the street.

In a few instances, I had items stolen from my bedroom during hookups. My $500 dollar watch (that I left on a side table in the bedroom) was taken. Another time, my wallet was stolen from my nightstand. My favorite metal cock ring also went missing). Often, I was too horny, spun, and high to really care. I was unable to retrieve any of the items. I had so many anonymous guys over that I had no idea who it was. They had probably blocked me on Grindr by the time I found out anyways.

Soon after countless hookups with countless black, Latino, and white men of ages 18 to about 45 (some of which included 4 or more men), smoking meth in the apartment with them, using bottles of pungent smelling poppers (some of which spilled), pissing on myself and all over the bed and floor (and not cleaning it up completely ,or at all, after each night), getting fucked( with moans, cries, screams, claps, and loud porn audio )that could be likely be heard throughout the entire apartment, and leaving the outside doors slightly ajar and unlocked, or completely wide, my roommates decided to confront me via an email labeled, “living situation”. Tymo sent the email on behalf of Dan and himself.

In the email he said that he was “sex positive”. However, he noted my “disregard for the security and safety of the house and people in it”. The email said, “the apartment reeks of piss, poppers, weed, shit, and semen”. He said that, in the bathroom, their shampoos and soaps had clearly been used and their bath sponges were thrown on the floor on the bathtub. One time, Dan found a mixture of “semen and shit on the floor in the hallway” and he had to clean it up. The email said that the front and back doors had been left wide open on multiple occasions. Tymo wrote that one night, one of the random men had opened his door and stood in his bedroom. Tymo had to ask him to leave. Tymo also wrote about Dan receiving unsolicited photos of me naked and sleeping from one of the guys on Grindr that was in my bedroom. The email ended by demanding that I stop inviting men over to the house immediately. It said that the roommates did not feel safe in the apartment at the moment but once I stopped all this activity, we could all put this behind us.

I responded with a one sentence apology. However, I did not let them know the following:

-The smell was definitely not weed. However, I’m not surprised that they were unable to label the smell of Tina

- After fucking, I let the tops shower in the bathroom to clean off the sweat from their body and my ass juices from their dick. As a result, Tymo and Dan were using washing their own bodies and faces with bath sponges that had remnants of my ass juices and anon cum loads on them.

-The semen and shit on the floor of the hallway was from my own ass. Occasionally, I would go to the front door or back kitchen door to let a guy into the apartment. Having already taken loads and big dicks prior to that, I couldn’t even keep my sloppy hole completely together. There a constant trickle of cum running out of me.

-I would usually answer the door naked or in a jockstrap. One time, I was in the small front vestibule waiting for a guy to arrive. I had the inner apartment door slightly closed. All of a sudden, I heard Tymo’s bedroom door open just a couple feet away. He said, “Is that you Ptolemy?” I didn’t answer and stood as still as I could, hoping that he thought I left the building. Of course, I couldn’t actually go outside because I was completely naked, and it was below freezing outside. If there had been no shade over the window of the inner door, he would have most definitely seen my body.

-I often left the front doors and back doors slightly open for anon hookups when they weren’t anonymous. Usually, the men would close the doors after they arrived and when they left.

In two or three occasions, the doors were apparently “left wide open” by some of the guys I mentioned earlier. I would later find out that on one occasion, Tymo saw me at one of the nearby school buildings. He went back to the apartment that afternoon and heard voices and movement in my bedroom and bathroom. The two guys I left there had clearly not followed my instructions to keep quiet, still, and not to leave the bedroom until I returned.

-I begged at least two guys to send nude photos of me to Dan through Grindr. My idea was to make it seem like the guy had saved pictures I sent him (or even taken the photos of me himself, without me realizing) and then sent them to Dan without my permission. Until the email mentioned it, I was unsure of those guys had actually sent the pictures or if they had thought it was all just part of a fantasy I had when I got horny.

The email did not mention the jockstrap I had stolen from Dan’s bureau drawer. Its possibly that he did not even notice since he had so many. This detail didn’t matter because I was already so turned on by the email. After I received it, I went straight home to jerk off to it. On Grindr and by text, I told as many guys as I could about it, hoping that they would also be super turned on. I forwarded the email to at least 8 people as proof that it was not just a fantasy or lie that I made up. I was too high and horny to care or realize that I had not removed Tymo and Dan as recipients from the email and they were still being notified every time I forwarded it to these random Grindr guys. To make matters worse, I would accompany the forwarded email with messages saying how I would continue to secretly get fucked in the apartment without my dumb fucking roommates knowing.

For a few days, I told guys on Grindr that I was unable to host because my roommates had given me an ultimatum. I would only be able to travel for hookups. After a few days, my fear of getting kicked out began to dim. I told myself that it would be ok to invite just one guy over because it was ‘normal sex’ and not an anonymous hookup where I would leave the doors open so that they could hump and dump and then leave. Unfortunately for my roommates, I got carried away and had indulged in more than one cum load. At one point during the afternoon, I was talking loudly with a guy and my roommates were almost right outside my bedroom door in the kitchen. The noise level then picked up when he became to pound my well bussy. After a bit of pnp I felt confident enough to go on Grindr and invite some white 18-year-old twink over. While my roommates were in the kitchen making their own dinners, I was filming some fat black guy shove an anchor butt plug into this boy’s tight hole. He said that he had never taken black cock, so I knew that he had to get fucked by the black guy’s 8-and-a-half-inch meat right then. I was still slightly conscious of keeping a low noise level, so I panicked a little when the teen twink began to moan and scream in pain. I shoved my unwashed cum and piss crusted jockstrap into him mouth and put my hand over it while the black thug held him face down as he roughly tore up his poor boy hole. After we were done over two hours later, I sent them on their way and invited over a Friends with Benefits that I had fucked with a few times previously. I let him walk in the apartment and bedroom and begin slamming my ass doggystyle. I placed a camera under my ass and was able to capture the amazing moment that he shot his warm load into my fat ass. His thick black dick was pulsing as it pumped each squirt of his DNA and babies deep inside me. I would later upload this video to my porn channel, unbeknownst to him. After he had filled me up and began to remove his meat from my ass, a mixture of cum began running out of my stretched gaping him. Two months of intense BBC pounding had destroyed my once tight hole. Unable to keep my hole together, the semen came dripping down my leg, and onto the floor as I brought my FWB down the hall so that he could leave. That night, after 8 hours of nearly constant pounding, I made sure to push the mixture of multiple loads of semen, nice and deep with two big dildos.

A day later I received a message from a blank profile that said what I was doing with my body and my fiancé was sick, fucked up, and crazy. The messages said that I was going to be in trouble for tricking guys into telling guys I was HIV negative. In my mind, there was no proof yet that I was anything but negative (as I was just pretending to be POZ). The anonymous profile said, “I know guys with AIDs who have fucked you”. This turned me on enough to respond, “mmmm that’s fucking hot!”

A day or two later while I was in the school library, my fiancé, Justin, called me saying that someone had outed my double life. This meant that he had seen or knew about my porn channel videos and photos. The anonymous person had screenshot countless inappropriate and crazy texts and Grindr messages that I sent out to numerous guys. Justin sent me several messages of these screenshots that had been sent to him. This included my Grindr profile picture showing me completely spun on tina, in a yellowed stretched out jockstrap, and the words ‘POZ SLUT’ written on my chest. Of course, this was before Grindr prohibited any photos that were sexually suggestive or revealing. There was also a screenshot of my profile bio that said I was taking at least three anonymous loads a night and was cheating on my stupid fiancé.

The texts and Grindr messages that had been screenshot said similar things. In them, I said that I was an addicted m*th whore who could take over a dozen loads in a night. I said that I loved cheating while Justin was unsuspecting and unaware of my “poz toxic biohazard slut existence” and my intent on secretly getting rammed and loaded up by strangers after we were to be wed later that year. I even said that I had become poz and was ready to breed my fiancé’s ass that weekend.

In short, there was no denying what I had been up to in the city. There were mounds of evidence in the form of videos, photos, messages, the roommate’s email, etc. If Justin had done his research into the material, he would see that I was anonymously fucked in his own bed, had piss poured into my ass using one of his metal bowls from his kitchen, and was parTying hard in his bathroom while he was sleeping. He might have even seen the video on my porn channel that had his white cock fucking my hole.

After that I was sent to rehab for 3 weeks. Justin wanted nothing to do with me after that.

Fast forward almost a month later and I had come back to the apartment to pack some of my most needed items to bring with me back home (to my home-state). I would come back in a few weeks to gather everything else before I left and never returned. I wasn’t finished yet though. I had one last task to do. I wanted a ‘keepsake’ pair of underwear or a jockstrap from each of the roommates, that I could wear and shoot my load into in the future. I could remember their hot bodies while I wore the pairs throughout my day or while I jerked off. I imagined how the same fabric material that would now wrap tightly over my cock, balls, ass, and thighs, had once sheathed and stretched over the same parts of their bodies.

Once I was in the apartment, I was pretty sure that neither roommate was in the apartment, so I carefully and quietly made my way into Dan’s bedroom. Since neither of my roommates’ bedrooms had locks (unlike mine) I was sure that it would be 100% accessible if they were not there. I knew that I had a very short amount of time, so I went straight to his dirty clothes bin. I made a quick decision to take a pair of unwashed black and gray striped H&M briefs that had his scent. I also wanted a replacement jockstrap for the first one that I had stolen from him but left at Jake’s house. I picked out a seemingly unused white jockstrap with ‘Papi’ written on the waist band, this time in blue instead of red. Since it was at the bottom of the pile of jockstraps, I figured that if he even eventually found out it was missing, it would be quite a while, by which time I would be long gone.

I moved quickly and quietly pushed into Tymo’s bedroom after gently tapping on the door to make sure his room was also empty. Having been through his whole underwear bin, I immediately knew where to find a decent pair. I first looked in the dirty laundry bin but thought that he would notice the absence of a one of the pairs of briefs that he regularly wore. I turned to the underwear bin and dug to the bottom of the unfolded stack where his lesser used underwear likely was. I found a pair of dark blue briefs had a red waist band with a thin white stripe and thin dark blue stripe. The tag on the back of the underwear said it was from Primark. I was confused by the size small label on the back. Tymo, with his thick thighs and soft form, was at least a size medium and probably a size large. Perhaps this was a pair of underwear from when he was younger or not so fat. I figured that he wouldn’t miss a piece of clothing that he couldn’t even fit his fat juicy ass into.

Just as I predicted, the jockstrap and two pairs of underwear turned me on every time I jerked off. I just had to imagine the tight briefs wrapping around Tymo’s richly colored brown skin. I pictured the briefs covering his hairy round ass cheeks and meaty thighs. His soft pudgy waist and thighs would barely be contained by the fabric’s edges, almost like a sausage in a casing.

As for Dan’s jockstrap, I fantasized about him getting pounded while wearing it. His ass juices and some man’s cum would have run over the jockstrap’s ass straps. When I would wear Dan’s underwear, I imagined the thick hair from his treasure trail spilling out over the top waist band. The fabric would wrap around the hairy thighs, ass, and crotch of his lean furry otter body.

Over time, I was able to put over 7 months’ worth of my daily cum load into Dan’s jockstrap. The white fabric turned brownish gray and areas of yellow. Layers of dried semen became crusted over the pouch and waistband. Now, Dan’s soft white cotton jockstrap has turned into my stiff, dirty, and pungent cum rag. The elastic medium sized waist band is now all stretched out from double wrapping the straps around my dick and balls (like a cock ring) when I jerk off. I wonder if he would recognize it if it was mailed back to him.

About five weeks after I went to go pick up a few belongings from my old apartment, I was notified of my STD results from the doctor. That’s when I found out that I had actually been infected with gift of poz cum! Having been fucked by dozens of random strangers, I had no idea who it could have been that intentionally, accidentally, or perhaps indifferently, converted me with their toxic load. I had several questions: Where they simply HIV unmedicated or did they have full blown AIDS? Also, was this toxic load or loads from the “two guys with aids” that the anonymous Grindr message had told me about? Was the high fever and sickness I felt at the beginning of February from my seroconversion?

The game of Russian roulette for a viral poz cum conversion was now over. I had been playing it since I started taking raw loads a few years before, culminating in an intense month and a half of dozens of loads from strangers. These were strangers that could have had HIV, AIDS, or any STD, but I never asked because it made things more excited. For me, bug chasing had been a combination of a fantasy to become poz (taking undetectable nonviral loads); my indifference to my HIV status and the actual effects and consequences of being poz, and of course my intentionality to be filled with someone’s infectious and toxic load. I had to be super horny from parTying before I would intentionally beg for and seek out HIV.

Any shock or fear I had felt when I first discovered I was poz, quickly disappeared. Since I didn’t start medication for a few weeks and had to wait for it to make me undetectable, the cum that I produced in the meantime was absolutely toxic and viral. Unfortunately, I never had the opportunity to pass on my DNA to some young guy. I needed someone like me who had been a vanilla twink and then morphed into a toxic poz gift giving cum dump.

While part of me finds it extremely hot that I was stealthed with some toxic stranger’s DNA; I kind of wish that I was conscious of the moment the guy’s poz cum flooded the walls of my hole. That would be the point of no return to the other side. I wish I would have known that part of him, his babies, were absorbing into the walls of my used hole and soon it would spread throughout my entire being. His own DNA and poz family tree line that was once given to him, was now the poz DNA that exists in every cell of my body. In effect, I had been reborn with altered DNA. I am unable to separate the poz virus from my body. It’s hot to think that I could stop medication at any time and turn into from undetectable into a toxic poz body, and eventually a wasting AIDS patient without even trying. Unfortunately, the meds are artificial and prevent my body from evolving on its natural path. It’s good to know that I have the option of stopping and turning into a gift giver. It’s my way of giving back to the world and passing on the DNA from my poz family tree. Hopefully the guys I would convert would one day do the same.

These days I am back in the world of pnp. Reloading my ass with anon sperm and poz cum is my goal. I am constantly turned on by the fact that guys see me as nothing more than an undesirable dirty whore who has viral AIDS, and probably other STDs, that could be caught if they fucked me. They see my poz undetectable status as being the same as viral detectable HIV or full-blown AIDS. Even if they are educated on what being undetectable and medicated means, why would they give themselves anxiety and take a risk fucking my poz ass when they could have one of the many other clean neg guys on Grindr or some other app. These days, guys on the apps easily sense that I have become desperate for a pounding and load from absolutely anybody. Honestly, I would let an obese slob, old saggy man, or dl guy, use and fill me at this point. If you had asked me if I would do this just four years ago, I would have said absolutely no!

Today, I am thankful for my journey from an innocent twink into a desperate poz m*th whore. Thankfully, there is no going back