Prostate Cancer diagnosis

[Cubbtm4poz]

I apologize ahead of time if this is in the wrong forum on here but I figure this forum is related to sexual health. For a gay man our prostate is part of who we are whether we are a top or a bottom.. So here goes it....

I was diagnosed with a Gleason 7 (4+3) in my prostate, I was thinking of doing the radiation therapy but my oncologist thinks I would be better with the robotic surgery. I know there are resources out there for men to discuss prostate cancer and find others who have dealt with it but nothing for Gay men...

So here's where I am at..I am Gay I prefer bottom and want to learn from other bottoms who have dealt with prostate cancer.

[iosam]

I don't know much about prostate cancer, just wanted to send some positive vibes your way - sorry for your diagnosis, but I hope your treatment will be effective. My partner had vocal cord cancer, and from that experience I know that some times making choices between treatment options there's a trade off between how likely a treatment is to be effective, vs the negative side effects of the treatment - do you know what the likely differences between the surgery and the radiation treatments are for you?

[ejaculaTe]

Like iosam, I too don't know much about prostate cancer. But I do know it's possible that, for whatever reason, you won't get many responses here. If I read the medical journal articles correctly, the medical establishment is just figuring out that during and after treatment, gay men might have quality of life issues that are different than those of straight men. It looks as if these two websites might provide the information and insight you're looking for:  [think before following links] https://healthunlocked.com/prostate-cancer-gay-men [think before following links] https://dansjourney.com/resources/gay-men-and-prostate-cancer/. There's also clinical guidance about anal sex after treatments: [think before following links] https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190610/Worlds-first-clinical-guidance-on-anal-sex-after-prostate-cancer-treatments.aspx.

I hope that this is of some help, especially on those nights when you're wide awake at 3 am thinking about this. Good luck....

 

[ejaculaTe]

To my short list of June 15, I'll add the two papers, based on patient interviews, which I've attached to this posting. 

Psychosexual experiences of men following radiotherapy for prostate cancer in Johannesburg, South Africa.pdf Exploring the lived experience of gay men with prostate cancer | A phenomenological study.pdf

[Guest]

Wish you the best.  You can beat it.

[Cubbtm4poz]

On 6/15/2021 at 9:36 AM, iosam said:

I don't know much about prostate cancer, just wanted to send some positive vibes your way - sorry for your diagnosis, but I hope your treatment will be effective. My partner had vocal cord cancer, and from that experience I know that some times making choices between treatment options there's a trade off between how likely a treatment is to be effective, vs the negative side effects of the treatment - do you know what the likely differences between the surgery and the radiation treatments are for you?

I met with my oncologist and she's suggesting that I do the surgery at my age...If we go down the route of radiation therapy and the cancer shows up again I cannot repeat the radiation or do the surgery, from that point on it's life on hormonal treatment. NO THANKS....I've talked to a couple of guys who did the surgery and as one of them put it "remove it and not deal with it or cut my life short taking the easy route"  he chose to do the surgery and he's glad he did..

 

[Cubbtm4poz]

On 6/15/2021 at 6:34 PM, ejaculaTe said:

Like iosam, I too don't know much about prostate cancer. But I do know it's possible that, for whatever reason, you won't get many responses here. If I read the medical journal articles correctly, the medical establishment is just figuring out that during and after treatment, gay men might have quality of life issues that are different than those of straight men. It looks as if these two websites might provide the information and insight you're looking for:  [think before following links] [think before following links] https://healthunlocked.com/prostate-cancer-gay-men [think before following links] [think before following links] https://dansjourney.com/resources/gay-men-and-prostate-cancer/. There's also clinical guidance about anal sex after treatments: [think before following links] [think before following links] https://www.news-medical.net/news/20190610/Worlds-first-clinical-guidance-on-anal-sex-after-prostate-cancer-treatments.aspx.

I hope that this is of some help, especially on those nights when you're wide awake at 3 am thinking about this. Good luck....

 

Thank you....i am going to check out these links...I like to learn as much as I can about what I am going through and make the educated decision on the route to go..

[throb41]

Top here, I feel like my cock is the thing I deliver - and basically my calling card.  I recently tested high on PSA (greater than 2.0 PSA increase since 1 year check) - translates to a red flag for aggressive type of Prostate cancer.  I had my Prostate MRI a couple days ago.  Stressful awaiting results now.  Thanks for posting your question!  Nice to find a gay guy working through this (although not nice anyone must work through cancer).  Good luck to you!  My worry is as a top, the possible loss of sexual function (since so many men are dealing with this cancer - I'm starting to understand all the ED ads on TV)... also possible loss of size, and changes to orgasm.   I think I've read that prostatectomy (surgical removal) is better for sexual health and function after (over radiation - which can destroy other tissue in the area).

Edited July 26, 2021 by throb41

[Cubbtm4poz]

On 7/26/2021 at 6:58 AM, throb41 said:

Top here, I feel like my cock is the thing I deliver - and basically my calling card.  I recently tested high on PSA (greater than 2.0 PSA increase since 1 year check) - translates to a red flag for aggressive type of Prostate cancer.  I had my Prostate MRI a couple days ago.  Stressful awaiting results now.  Thanks for posting your question!  Nice to find a gay guy working through this (although not nice anyone must work through cancer).  Good luck to you!  My worry is as a top, the possible loss of sexual function (since so many men are dealing with this cancer - I'm starting to understand all the ED ads on TV)... also possible loss of size, and changes to orgasm.   I think I've read that prostatectomy (surgical removal) is better for sexual health and function after (over radiation - which can destroy other tissue in the area).

Hey Throb41, how did you Prostate MRI come out? I had my radical prostatectomy a couple of weeks ago....my body is still healing and recovering. Only thing that sucks right now is the incontenence so be prepared for that....I havent gotten hard yet, my dr wants me to take some cialis and work on getting the blood flowing to my penis. He advised its best to start doing this now as if i dont the nerves and blood vessels could die out....So sounds like a green light for masterbation....Talked to a friend of a friend of mine who went through it and he advised he has dry orgasms. He said they can be real intense and last longer than before his surgery...So should be interesting as I start navigating this new road in my journey of life..More to come...

[Cubbtm4poz]

I found a great resource for Gay, Bisexual and Trans women dealing with Prostate Cancer. It's a facebook group.....this is what I was looking for a group I identify with that I can ask questions about navigating the waters of Prostate Cancer....I found alot of support groups and resources for straight folks but nothing for me...

[think before following links] https://www.facebook.com/groups/prostatecanerandgaymen

 

 

[austin_submale]

I will be interested to hear whether you experience any change in feeling as a bottom after prostate removal.  Unfortunately prostate cancer runs in my family so it is probably a matter of when than if I'll get it.  The only good thing is that men in my family who have had it have always been less aggressive types and the ones that have passed, that wasn't what killed them.  I know a lot of men who have prostate removal lose the ability to get an erection.  That's less of an issue for me since I'm a total bottom.  I am worried about being able to have an orgasm if I have to have that done.

 

[Cubbtm4poz]

On 8/30/2021 at 9:27 AM, austin_submale said:

I will be interested to hear whether you experience any change in feeling as a bottom after prostate removal.  Unfortunately prostate cancer runs in my family so it is probably a matter of when than if I'll get it.  The only good thing is that men in my family who have had it have always been less aggressive types and the ones that have passed, that wasn't what killed them.  I know a lot of men who have prostate removal lose the ability to get an erection.  That's less of an issue for me since I'm a total bottom.  I am worried about being able to have an orgasm if I have to have that done.

 

Austin, I would recommend having your PSA checked regularly to monitor in increase in your PSA. I did do the the removal of the prostate last month, so it's been a few weeks. I've been taking it a step at a time...As far as orgasms, I havent had any but i've heard you will still get them they will be dry orgasms instead of cumming..The thing I am working through now is the incontenence....that is driving me nuts. I started out using the depends 24 hours a day but i've been doing kegal exercises to build up the muscles in the pelvic region. That has helped and now i can wear regular underwear with a pad. I did find a great little device that is a TENS unit with an anal probe...They recommend using it twice a day for 20 minutes and it helps to build up the muscles...One thing I am worried about is climacturia, this occurs for alot of men who have prostate removal. So instead of shooting cum when you orgasm pee dribbles out or shoots out...I am a bottom too and this is what scares me about having sex.

So like I said earlier I am taking it a step at a time.

1. doing my kegals daily to build up my pelvic muscles

2. focus on reducing the incontenance.

3. work on getting hard (penis pump and meds)

4. I think #2 will help with the climacturia.

So this is my new journey, post cancer...

[austin_submale]

Thanks for your frank openness on this rather sensitive subject.  I hope your recovery continues to progress well and look forward to hearing more in the future.

 

FWIW, I have my PSA checked at least twice a year, and so far it is good.  But I'm only in my 50s.  Men in my family tend to start having troubles in their 70s.  Of course no guarantee I will even make it that long anyway, so I am not going to worry about it more than what I am now.

 

[Cubbtm4poz]

23 hours ago, austin_submale said:

Thanks for your frank openness on this rather sensitive subject.  I hope your recovery continues to progress well and look forward to hearing more in the future.

 

FWIW, I have my PSA checked at least twice a year, and so far it is good.  But I'm only in my 50s.  Men in my family tend to start having troubles in their 70s.  Of course no guarantee I will even make it that long anyway, so I am not going to worry about it more than what I am now.

 

That's awesome your PSA is good and good for you monitoring it...I didnt do that and no paying the price...I am in my early 50's as well...I think my dad had prostate cancer or englarged prostate as he got older but nothing was done about it... Cancer does run in my family so another check against me....but life is a journey, we learn along the way and pass to others what we have learned....

[austin_submale]

3 minutes ago, Cubbtm4poz said:

That's awesome your PSA is good and good for you monitoring it...I didnt do that and no paying the price...I am in my early 50's as well...I think my dad had prostate cancer or englarged prostate as he got older but nothing was done about it... Cancer does run in my family so another check against me....but life is a journey, we learn along the way and pass to others what we have learned....

My PSA is checked regularly because I have been on TRT (testosterone) for a couple years.  It is what turned me into a no dick or load refused cum dump.  Makes me horny all the time and has a few other side effects.