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There is no denying it, i'm most definately a closet case. For years i've been reading stories on here and it's almost become an obsession (35 years old) but i've never been able to act on it (circumstance). I'd love it all for my first time, multiple guys, chem, bareback, but I also know it wont happen unless someone takes control and orders me to do it. I'm in one of those situations whereby I have to control EVERYTHING and as a result, i'm yearning to give up that control. Any advice appreciated. 

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