Telegram Etiquette

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I like to consider myself fairly open to things, try my hardest not to judge people and very little shocks me these days.

A lot of us probably use private message apps to chat and keep in touch and I generally have no problems with that but it’s always nice to have an introduction first.

This morning I logged onto Telegram and received a message from just a phone number, so nobody I knew. There was no hello, just a video of a guy totally naked swabbing his arm and shooting up. Whilst I appreciate some guys are into that and I don’t take issue with it, it’s a little “impolite” just posting that video to someone without so much as a hello and “are you into this” question before sending it.

Am I expecting too much, what do you think?

[Philatanus]

It would had been nice if he had asked if it was something you were into. Weird to just send the video.

As for someone you do not know, how was he able to contact you through Telegram?  If I am not mistaken, with Telegram

Messenger, one would either need your phone number or username to contact you. 

[tallslenderguy]

To me, that sort of presumption is, yes, "impolite" and immature.  There's a self centeredness that, to me, is the essence of immaturity; a presumption that because one is turned on, others will be similarly affected or desirous.  

As i see it, relationship is about connection and to connect with another person, you need to know something about them.  A three year old has not yet developed or matured to a degree where they understand or grasp that life is not all about them. That's where tantrums come from, a self absorbed "i want it and i want it now" attitude.  i see it as entitlement, which i also see as the ultimate form of 'adult' immaturity. Few things are as obnoxious to me.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

25 minutes ago, Philatanus said:

It would had been nice if he had asked if it was something you were into. Weird to just send the video.

As for someone you do not know, how was he able to contact you through Telegram?  If I am not mistaken, with Telegram

Messenger, one would either need your phone number or username to contact you. 

I am in a number of groups on Telegram, one is a barebacking group, so he may have seen me in the member list. I have published my telegram name on here too, but it was a post for guys in the U.K. to share them that I replied to.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

5 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

To me, that sort of presumption is, yes, "impolite" and immature.  There's a self centeredness that, to me, is the essence of immaturity; a presumption that because one is turned on, others will be similarly affected or desirous.  

As i see it, relationship is about connection and to connect with another person, you need to know something about them.  A three year old has not yet developed or matured to a degree where they understand or grasp that life is not all about them. That's where tantrums come from, a self absorbed "i want it and i want it now" attitude.  i see it as entitlement, which i also see as the ultimate form of 'adult' immaturity. Few things are as obnoxious to me.

So you are also not a fan of just random pop ups with pictures or videos without so much as a brief chat to see if you are both into the same things either then.

[tallslenderguy]

18 minutes ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

So you are also not a fan of just random pop ups with pictures or videos without so much as a brief chat to see if you are both into the same things either then.

No, not a fan. Even with hook up sex, the underlying drive for me is not just physical, but symbiotic connection with another guy.   To me, that sort of thing is like being spammed, like there isn't a person on the other end.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

9 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

No, not a fan. Even with hook up sex, the underlying drive for me is not just physical, but symbiotic connection with another guy.   To me, that sort of thing is like being spammed, like there isn't a person on the other end.

I would rather spend the time finding things out before meeting, if I just wanted a totally random thing I would hit a sauna, sex club or go cruising.

[tallslenderguy]

2 hours ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I would rather spend the time finding things out before meeting, if I just wanted a totally random thing I would hit a sauna, sex club or go cruising.

me too.  i just pass empty online profiles by, or worse, guys who check all the "ask me" boxes instead of putting a little of their self out there. It never seems to occur to these guys that why would someone ask questions about someone who's invisible to start with? Guys who don't want to "waste time" communicating ahead of time end up wasting time traveling and getting together with  someone they are not interested in, or vice versa. i think it's childish. 

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

2 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

me too.  i just pass empty online profiles by, or worse, guys who check all the "ask me" boxes instead of putting a little of their self out there. It never seems to occur to these guys that why would someone ask questions about someone who's invisible to start with? Guys who don't want to "waste time" communicating ahead of time end up wasting time traveling and getting together with  someone they are not interested in, or vice versa. i think it's childish. 

I’m no longer on any of the apps, deleted profiles on Grindr, Gaydar and Recon and then deleted the apps too.