To be or not to be (a top)...

[forman66]

When I began my "gay sexual life", I started as a total top... The thing is that from the very beginning something odd happens to me: all the initial excitement of pushing my dick while making its way to town, suddenly leads to a kind of "absence of sensitivity" which makes me think more about the grocery list for tomorrow better than in what I´m supposed to be thinking at that moment... When I was younger, I used to maintain my dick hard my dick decided to stay hard during the whole ride, despite this "little issue", to not disappoint my occasional partner I guess. But, at some point,  my cock decided to go soft during the act as a sign of protest. Therefore, when this happens, I have to withdraw, begin to make out with my partner while jerking and getting my nipples worked, and just then I immediately recover my erection to its fullest and begin all the process again... with the same result. ☹️Probably this is the reason why I decided to go from YEARS of condoms to full bareback, to see if all that feeling of moisture and warmth in my cock could revert the situation, but no changes so far...

Of course, curious as I am, almost at the same time I started to top, I also began to explore my bottom habilities, and discover that I could be very creative in that field, having a blast while being penetrated and encouraging my sex partner to go faster, deeper and beyond, while I press and release his dick with my asshole. You could say I'm a very talented power bottom... BUT, the thing is that I really want to top, and go from (versatile) bottom to TOTAL VERSATILE, which, in MHO, is the best of both worlds. Besides, even if mine is not THE megalodicksaurus, it´s still a nice tool and I´d really like to use it more...😈

Even more, here´s a fun fact: when I go to a sauna or sex bar, I take my time to do my "pipe cleaning" very consciously, and I don´t eat for at least 12 hours... BUT, most of the time -and for a very unknown reason- I end up acting as a top instead of the bottom bitch that I carefully prepared myself for... And this is the thing: I enjoy "being in charge", controlling the penetration, slapping the ass with one hand while grabbing my sex partner´s hair with the other, talking dirty, licking his neck and ears, etc, etc, even though I need to "reboot" every now and then...  Well, unintentionally, I described my last fuck 😁...

Anybody has gone through the same situation?..

[Guest]

8 hours ago, forman66 said:

When I began my "gay sexual life", I started as a total top... The thing is that from the very beginning something odd happens to me: all the initial excitement of pushing my dick while making its way to town, suddenly leads to a kind of "absence of sensitivity" which makes me think more about the grocery list for tomorrow better than in what I´m supposed to be thinking at that moment... When I was younger, I used to maintain my dick hard my dick decided to stay hard during the whole ride, despite this "little issue", to not disappoint my occasional partner I guess. But, at some point,  my cock decided to go soft during the act as a sign of protest. Therefore, when this happens, I have to withdraw, begin to make out with my partner while jerking and getting my nipples worked, and just then I immediately recover my erection to its fullest and begin all the process again... with the same result. ☹️Probably this is the reason why I decided to go from YEARS of condoms to full bareback, to see if all that feeling of moisture and warmth in my cock could revert the situation, but no changes so far...

Of course, curious as I am, almost at the same time I started to top, I also began to explore my bottom habilities, and discover that I could be very creative in that field, having a blast while being penetrated and encouraging my sex partner to go faster, deeper and beyond, while I press and release his dick with my asshole. You could say I'm a very talented power bottom... BUT, the thing is that I really want to top, and go from (versatile) bottom to TOTAL VERSATILE, which, in MHO, is the best of both worlds. Besides, even if mine is not THE megalodicksaurus, it´s still a nice tool and I´d really like to use it more...😈

Even more, here´s a fun fact: when I go to a sauna or sex bar, I take my time to do my "pipe cleaning" very consciously, and I don´t eat for at least 12 hours... BUT, most of the time -and for a very unknown reason- I end up acting as a top instead of the bottom bitch that I carefully prepared myself for... And this is the thing: I enjoy "being in charge", controlling the penetration, slapping the ass with one hand while grabbing my sex partner´s hair with the other, talking dirty, licking his neck and ears, etc, etc, even though I need to "reboot" every now and then...  Well, unintentionally, I described my last fuck 😁...

Anybody has gone through the same situation?..

@forman66 Not sure if it is comforting or not for you to know that you are not alone in this situation 😉 

Although I describe myself as a versatile bottom and a cumdump, truth is that I love being versatile. Some of the best memories are orgies where almost everyone takes and gives with equal pleasure. Sure, there are days when I feel like a total hard top, and days when I crave cock and cum up my ass.  

The reason I describe myself as a vers bottom is that the moment a guy looks at me and my cock they instantly switch from being a "total top" to "man, your cock feels so good in my arse". I'm just shy of full 8" x 6.5" girth (20cm x 16.7cm around) and I get hard instantly at the sight of a naked man. Which is sometimes a problem at the nude beaches lol.  So, yeah, I get that you want to be total versatile. Luckily for me in Europe, living in Canarias, I get to meet a lot of versatile men. I go crazy when I am on my back with a cock pounding my ass, while another man rides my cock and I either have someone else's cock in my mouth or kissing with the guy I'm fucking. Of course, if someone's around and plays, sucks and bites my nipples at the same and squirts a heavy load of hot cream on my face.... oh, well, I just like you, unintentionally, I described the scene at Reds Club in Playa del Ingles on Wednesday night when I met with two Irishmen and a handsome Swiss man from Geneva.  

So, in a nutshell, you're not alone. And if you stop by Gran Canaria, I'll be happy to be your tour guide 🙂  Happy weekend!

Edited March 11, 2022 by EuRawBottom
typos

[Opensesame]

Sounds like a subconscious performance panic attack sets in. Your mind is looking for an escape through distracted thought. I suggest looking into deep breathing/meditation exercises to practice daily. They may help you relax and feel in control from the inside out and help lessen performance anxiety. 

[tallslenderguy]

Preamble: This is me speculating based on study evidence.

i've read a study done with straight people that demonstrates that semen has a bonding effect on the brain with the receiver.  Though it hasn't been studied, i suspect something similar may happen with a gay bottom receiving a Tops cum into his highly absorptive gut?  

That aside, our sexuality is connected to our brain. 

"An erection is a carefully orchestrated series of events controlled by the CNS. We now know that the penis is under the complete control of the CNS, both during sexual arousal and at rest. As our Working Group colleague William D. Steers has noted, any disturbance in the network of nerve pathways that connects the penis and the CNS can lead to problems with erections."  

[think before following links] https://www.bumc.bu.edu/sexualmedicine/publications/the-central-mechanisms-of-sexual-function/

Again, this is speculation on my part, but we do know that brain connections/synapses can be strengthened through use, or weaken through disuse. i wonder if being versatile maybe involves a balancing act of sorts? Maybe the ability to be Top requires exercise as a Top, and inability to maintain an erection is connected in part to lack of exercise? i wonder if you just solely exercised the Top part of your brain if it would not get stronger and more capable? 

i don't think it can be condensed down to such a simple, black or white answer though. There is so much going on with erection. i think one of the things many overlook is vascular disease. I.e., the Standard American Diet (SAD) results in atherosclerosis over time, which we know affects the secretion of nitric oxide, a vasodilator directly employed and necessary for erection. Drugs like Viagra directly influence this process, so there is a vascular/mecanitcal component to erection as well as a brain. 

To reverse vascular disease? The only diet i know of that can reverse vascular disease is a whole food plant based diet with no added oil (WFPBDNO). On the mental side? Maybe focus on just being a Top for awhile and build and strengthen those brain pathways?  i don't think a bottom has to do that because there are no evident performance  issues with a bottom, but i think, performance aside, the brain aspect of being a bottom can be seen in cum dumps? 

End of speculation. 😉  Fun to consider and discuss.

[forman66]

To @EuRawBottom @Opensesame @tallslenderguy  

Thank you guys for your feedback and suggestions, I really appreciate it! Sorry to answer all of you in just one message, but as you may know, as a participant I’m only entitled to 3 posts max every 24 hours. 

@EuRawBottom For starters, your scene at Reds blew me away!!! That´s my dream!! Nice way to put in images what I want when I say that I´d like being a little bit more of a top… As you said (and I quote you) “Some of the best memories are orgies where almost everyone takes and gives with equal pleasure”, and that’s my goal: give and take cock and pleasure in the same way, especially if given the chance of flip flop… Changing a little bit the subject, I envy you for living in Gran Canaria, my favorite Disney(pig)world!!! I used to stay at The Basement, which is the perfect spot for two reasons:  1- during the day is like living in a bathhouse, and 2- at night, you don´t even have to walk 5 minutes to any sex bar, inside or outside the Yumbo… I remember The Cellar (now gone) as my favorite spot... ahh… memories! Enjoy my dreamland... I wanna hear more stories like last Wednesday's... 

@Opensesame  I don´t know if such a thing as a subconscious panic attack, but I totally agree with you on the anxiety factor, because even as a top or bottom (but especially as a top) my major concern is to give most pleasure and make sure that my sexual partners are having the time of their lives, because that makes me hornier, pushing my limits… Practicing breathing + meditation exercises on a daily basis is a great suggestion, thank you! 

@tallslenderguy Thank you for the link to the article published by Boston University, very interesting indeed! Regarding your “speculations” (loved that term!): actually, since I´m not suffering an erectile dysfunction condition, I am perfectly capable of maintaining an erection, be it when aroused, be it while being fucked or jerking off, and (thank God!) when -still- experiencing those wonderful “in the middle of the night” + early morning boners: I feel blessed! Therefore, vascular disease is out of the question (due to the reasons above mentioned), and because every year my doctor checks my vascular system and my testosterone levels, among A LOT of many other things as PSA, prostate ultrasound scan, cholesterol, and all those other “wonderful guests” that may begin to show up from your 50th birthday party on… I agree more with you on the idea of the mental side of this issue: probably I should focus on topping to strengthen those brain pathways, as you say, but without any pressure or anxiety on the side, just for the fun of it. On the other hand, maybe I should consider that probably I´m meant to be a total bottom (which I enjoy like the real pig that I am!), and being a top is just a fantasy that I force to be real, which could be the reason why my dick remains insensitive during penetration…   

Thanks for your rapport guys!

PS- Maybe not proper, but speaking of the devil: for the record, this is my flag at full mast... Works properly, but has a life of its own when I decide to top... Any shrink on premises?.. 😆😆😆

[JamesL100]

Man I miss leather sex with leather men, turned me into a bare fucker and load taker

[forman66]

On 3/12/2022 at 5:21 AM, JamesL100 said:

Man I miss leather sex with leather men, turned me into a bare fucker and load taker

Totally agree! Leather is a one-way ticket. Once you try sex in leather, there´s no way back to vanilla... 😈🚩🐷🐷

[gingerdaddyG]

On 3/12/2022 at 7:21 AM, forman66 said:

To @EuRawBottom @Opensesame @tallslenderguy  

Thank you guys for your feedback and suggestions, I really appreciate it! Sorry to answer all of you in just one message, but as you may know, as a participant I’m only entitled to 3 posts max every 24 hours. 

@EuRawBottom For starters, your scene at Reds blew me away!!! That´s my dream!! Nice way to put in images what I want when I say that I´d like being a little bit more of a top… As you said (and I quote you) “Some of the best memories are orgies where almost everyone takes and gives with equal pleasure”, and that’s my goal: give and take cock and pleasure in the same way, especially if given the chance of flip flop… Changing a little bit the subject, I envy you for living in Gran Canaria, my favorite Disney(pig)world!!! I used to stay at The Basement, which is the perfect spot for two reasons:  1- during the day is like living in a bathhouse, and 2- at night, you don´t even have to walk 5 minutes to any sex bar, inside or outside the Yumbo… I remember The Cellar (now gone) as my favorite spot... ahh… memories! Enjoy my dreamland... I wanna hear more stories like last Wednesday's... 

@Opensesame  I don´t know if such a thing as a subconscious panic attack, but I totally agree with you on the anxiety factor, because even as a top or bottom (but especially as a top) my major concern is to give most pleasure and make sure that my sexual partners are having the time of their lives, because that makes me hornier, pushing my limits… Practicing breathing + meditation exercises on a daily basis is a great suggestion, thank you! 

@tallslenderguy Thank you for the link to the article published by Boston University, very interesting indeed! Regarding your “speculations” (loved that term!): actually, since I´m not suffering an erectile dysfunction condition, I am perfectly capable of maintaining an erection, be it when aroused, be it while being fucked or jerking off, and (thank God!) when -still- experiencing those wonderful “in the middle of the night” + early morning boners: I feel blessed! Therefore, vascular disease is out of the question (due to the reasons above mentioned), and because every year my doctor checks my vascular system and my testosterone levels, among A LOT of many other things as PSA, prostate ultrasound scan, cholesterol, and all those other “wonderful guests” that may begin to show up from your 50th birthday party on… I agree more with you on the idea of the mental side of this issue: probably I should focus on topping to strengthen those brain pathways, as you say, but without any pressure or anxiety on the side, just for the fun of it. On the other hand, maybe I should consider that probably I´m meant to be a total bottom (which I enjoy like the real pig that I am!), and being a top is just a fantasy that I force to be real, which could be the reason why my dick remains insensitive during penetration…   

Thanks for your rapport guys!

PS- Maybe not proper, but speaking of the devil: for the record, this is my flag at full mast... Works properly, but has a life of its own when I decide to top... Any shrink on premises?.. 😆😆😆

What a beautiful cock!