Two of my worst hookups in one night

[BritishCumdump]

18 minutes ago, gwmxyz said:

Some of these I've mentioned before, but

- the guy who cums inside me then lectures me on how I mustn't do bb sex
- the guy who  continually messages me in my 45 minute taxi ride to meet him, then switches his phone off the minute I arrive
- the guy who thought me, my bf and our friend had cut his hands off (but somehow latched onto me as the least evil of the hand-cutting bastards)
- the guy who turns out to be quite seriously physically handicapped (actually had some sympathy - could see how it might be difficult for him otherwise)... and are we calling it the "sunk cost" fallacy?  (ie sucking him off as I was there even though I woudn't have met - putting it another way, he had correctly assessed my sluttiness and so his plan worked )
- the guy who said he' d been banned from the hotel for making a complaint; I was sympathetic until he explained his complaint was that there were people in the ceiling spying on him;
- the guy who sits there not doing anything transfixed by porn but who refuses to leave even when I pull the plug on the porn (thankfully in a hotel - left myself and made him the hotel staff's problem)
- the guy who only wanted to interrogate me about what other white bttm guys I knew (I tried to point out I really knew top guys; I didn't point out that I wouldn't him loose on any even if I did)
- the guy who didn't mention that I'd be doing the walk of shame in front of his mother when I left the room (thankfully not as bad as it could be, her English being about as good as my Cantonese)
- the guy who liked to give a running commentary on what he was doing and so made it clear his  tastes were more straight really (not a problem)  were of a Jeffrey Epstein variety (rather more of a problem) and wanted me to pretend that that is who I was (I big problem); I was crap when cast as Ophelia at my all boys school; my acting hasn't improved (in which role - obviously - I wasn't also being fucked when attempting that role).  
- the guy who messages me all day before our meet (for which I'd booked a hotel) then cums in 30 seconds;
- the guy who only wants to bite me - which ends up as bizarre negotiation "ok, one more bite then I get to suck for a bit" (like the previous comment says, I somehow thought it a good idea to meet him again - no surprises, he hadn't changed)
- the foursome which turned into two singing and playing Elton John songs on a piano missing one note (admittedly quite well - you hardly noticed the missing note) while me and the remaining guy tried to continue fucking in the next door room (even quite skilful "Candle In The Wind" wasn't really quite in the right mood).
(made up for a little by the fact they thought I was a hooker coz I agreed to come over immediately and with so few questions - the compliment all the better  for being unintended ) (London that one, anyone trying it in HK would get complaints about the noise).

Good thread though.  It cheers me up  - sometimes it feels like the fruitcakes are all here in HK.

These are all brilliant and I absolutely feel your pain. The Elton John one is just surreal!! 🤣

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, gwmxyz said:

Some of these I've mentioned before, but

- the guy who cums inside me then lectures me on how I mustn't do bb sex
- the guy who  continually messages me in my 45 minute taxi ride to meet him, then switches his phone off the minute I arrive
- the guy who thought me, my bf and our friend had cut his hands off (but somehow latched onto me as the least evil of the hand-cutting bastards)
- the guy who turns out to be quite seriously physically handicapped (actually had some sympathy - could see how it might be difficult for him otherwise)... and are we calling it the "sunk cost" fallacy?  (ie sucking him off as I was there even though I woudn't have met - putting it another way, he had correctly assessed my sluttiness and so his plan worked )
- the guy who said he' d been banned from the hotel for making a complaint; I was sympathetic until he explained his complaint was that there were people in the ceiling spying on him;
- the guy who sits there not doing anything transfixed by porn but who refuses to leave even when I pull the plug on the porn (thankfully in a hotel - left myself and made him the hotel staff's problem)
- the guy who only wanted to interrogate me about what other white bttm guys I knew (I tried to point out I really knew top guys; I didn't point out that I wouldn't him loose on any even if I did)
- the guy who didn't mention that I'd be doing the walk of shame in front of his mother when I left the room (thankfully not as bad as it could be, her English being about as good as my Cantonese)
- the guy who liked to give a running commentary on what he was doing and so made it clear his  tastes were more straight really (not a problem)  were of a Jeffrey Epstein variety (rather more of a problem) and wanted me to pretend that that is who I was (I big problem); I was crap when cast as Ophelia at my all boys school; my acting hasn't improved (in which role - obviously - I wasn't also being fucked when attempting that role).  
- the guy who messages me all day before our meet (for which I'd booked a hotel) then cums in 30 seconds;
- the guy who only wants to bite me - which ends up as bizarre negotiation "ok, one more bite then I get to suck for a bit" (like the previous comment says, I somehow thought it a good idea to meet him again - no surprises, he hadn't changed)
- the foursome which turned into two singing and playing Elton John songs on a piano missing one note (admittedly quite well - you hardly noticed the missing note) while me and the remaining guy tried to continue fucking in the next door room (even quite skilful "Candle In The Wind" wasn't really quite in the right mood).
(made up for a little by the fact they thought I was a hooker coz I agreed to come over immediately and with so few questions - the compliment all the better  for being unintended ) (London that one, anyone trying it in HK would get complaints about the noise).

Good thread though.  It cheers me up  - sometimes it feels like the fruitcakes are all here in HK.

I think I see your problem. You need to make the sign you’re wearing say “Fuck Me” instead of “Screw Me”.

[BannedWord]

5 hours ago, ErosWired said:

I think I see your problem. You need to make the sign you’re wearing say “Fuck Me” instead of “Screw Me”.

LOL Amen to that. 

My worst was Mr. ADHD/OCD in a hotel room with his dog who decided he was more interested in giving me a manscaping (the one nice thing he offered and I got from the meetup) before it came down to him...well, not coming. But prior to that, started sucking me off for about 20 seconds, and just as I was getting into it, he gets up, hits the bathroom, comes back in 5 seconds and decides he only wants to JO (this after we spent about 30 minutes in the shower, I'm 100% certain I was clean and odor free, he confirmed), then I get the waiting game ("I'm almost there....I'm almost there...I'm almost there...") for the next 20 minutes. I didn't know if I was waiting for DoorDash or he was going to finally drop his load (no, DoorDash would have been faster).

Nice enough guy but it made me gun shy of meetups for a few months. Neither of us got fucked, but I felt screwed out of 3 hours.