Need advice.

[Guest]

So currently I have a gf but she is asexual we connect on many levels not sexually. I've been talking to a man who gets me totally we are in sync down to my gender. He has a bf. I know in a second if we were both single I'd totally ask him to date me. What do I do? Just be friends or see if that strong connection feels should we be intimate. It's caught me off guard.. any advice. I'm not a regular guy and don't thing with my dick. I do with feelings. And it's shook me in a good way. Even as a friend I know I should meet him but do I tempt intimacy…he's like partner I wish I had as a young Pansexual. He is ok with the fact in a sole parent. Son won't care. He is very 9pen minded and would be happy for me. My gf is lovely and I do love her and want to be with her we aren't talking about eloping. But when you connect mentally so much it's like I need to feel him make love to me. Maybe it's cause gf and I don't often have sex. Maybe cause he makes me feel like my inner queer femme self as he's so manly i feel like a lovestruck teenage girl crushing over a uni guy.

Advice please do I experience it see if it's how it feels. Or play safe. 

[theplayerking]

There’s a lot going on here. Personally, I would clarify your situation with your girlfriend before you worry about what you do with your man crush.

[BootmanLA]

57 minutes ago, theplayerking said:

There’s a lot going on here. Personally, I would clarify your situation with your girlfriend before you worry about what you do with your man crush.

This, absolutely. One thing at a time.

Either you want to be with the girlfriend into the future, or you don't. You may not know the answer to that question at this time - and there's nothing wrong with that. But you do need to answer THAT, before you start looking elsewhere. The time to settle out where you stand with one partner is BEFORE you reach the point of trying to land another one.

Or, alternatively, find out whether your asexual girlfriend is OK with you finding sex through other people, given that she's not particularly interested in it herself. If she gives her OK (which I don't think is likely, but that's just a guess), THEN move on to the next question, which is: Is this guy interested in me romantically (given that he has a boyfriend already), or is he looking for fun on the side? Whichever it is, are you comfortable with that choice, rather than hoping he'll switch from one to the other?

[Guest]

I'm checking with that it's very complex she really dislikes sex and penises. Conversely I dislike penetrating anyone with my penis. I tend to be receptive and emotionally naturally femme. She is quite boyish so that explains something. She is gorgeous but attraction mental physically I Enver her womanly curves  I want an aspect of that with my transistion. But truthfully I like men intrinsically. Domme women fit at times too but definitely attraction physically is men as a softer transfemme 

 

Edited April 16, 2022 by cinimod1981

[viking8x6]

It seems to me you are a free thinker about sex and relationships in most respects, so why not as regards monogamy/exclusivity? I was in a platonic relationship with a woman for nearly 3 decades, while at the same time I had relationships of varying duration and emotional intensity with a variety of men. She found a straight husband part way through, and the three of us lived together (they married with my blessing and facilitation). I'd still be there if I hadn't come to the realization that she was emotionally abusive and was slowly destroying me.

In my experience, this sort of thing can work just fine as long as people are forthright and honest about it.

[PigBoyDallas]

I would have a talk with your gf and be honest about her and your situation. Tell her you want explore things with the other guy but remain in the relationship with her. Then if she’s cool with it go ahead and do it with this other guy. Even if she’s not cool with it go ahead and go at it with this other guy. It’s not fair that she’s cutting you off from sex and she has to realize you have needs. My hunch is you both are going to spark together. Hopefully he’d tell his partner and get his buy in but ultimately, if it were me I wouldn’t care or let that stop me. But you have to go into this knowing you’ll probably wind up together.you need to be prepared for the reality it will end both of you relationships.