A question about love

[Philip]

For those that are currently searching for a romantic relationship or are currently in one, did you meet that person by going with the flow, or did you actively seek them out?

I’ve been quite actively dating the last couple of months/years with a few success, but nothing long-lasting. The more failed attempts, the more hopeless I feel. But I feel that if I go with the flow and just simply live my life, waiting for the right person to cross my path, that might never happen, and that fear propels me to actively search for a partner, and the negative hopeless cycle repeats. So I am unsure what to do now. Has anyone been in my shoes and have any advice on what to do? 

[xxbjn2]

27 minutes ago, Philip said:

For those that are currently searching for a romantic relationship or are currently in one, did you meet that person by going with the flow, or did you actively seek them out?

I’ve been quite actively dating the last couple of months/years with a few success, but nothing long-lasting. The more failed attempts, the more hopeless I feel. But I feel that if I go with the flow and just simply live my life, waiting for the right person to cross my path, that might never happen, and that fear propels me to actively search for a partner, and the negative hopeless cycle repeats. So I am unsure what to do now. Has anyone been in my shoes and have any advice on what to do? 

I slept with my man on the rebound as the guy I was after went off with someone else... that was in 1994... Still together and he's the love of my life. All I can say, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Live your life and enjoy it and enjoy each encounter you have. I think there's too much pressure sometimes to be in a relationship and I can understand wanting to be in one but it's not something that can be forced.  xxx

[Guest]

I am partnered, nearly 5 years, and when my partner and I met I was not seeking out a relationship. I desired one however I wasn’t actively dating or looking. I had largely resigned to fact I wouldn’t be dating much as I am not a man who can commit to monogamy. A perfect relationship for me is one where I am free to hook up, attend fuck parties, and baths. 
 

My partner & I knew each other casually two years before we started dating. He was in a two yrs relationship with a friends with benefit of mine. When they broke up, he and I started dating. I had always known he and I had an attraction and he and I had hooked up on occasions as a 3 or 4 way with my friend. By the time we started dating I was desiring a relationship and went out on dates here & there. 
 

My advice to you is not to put pressure on yourself to find someone as it may come off as desperate however  I recommend you involve yourself in clubs communities and groups that align with your interests & meet guys through that process. I have found that just going out and doing things you love increases your chances of meeting men to date.

I am a nudist and my last serious relationship prior to my current I met him in during a nude social outing of gay men hiking. Wasn’t expecting that but we dated for a year & it all happen by doing something I enjoy but not focusing on finding someone 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Philip said:

For those that are currently searching for a romantic relationship or are currently in one, did you meet that person by going with the flow, or did you actively seek them out?

I’ve been quite actively dating the last couple of months/years with a few success, but nothing long-lasting. The more failed attempts, the more hopeless I feel. But I feel that if I go with the flow and just simply live my life, waiting for the right person to cross my path, that might never happen, and that fear propels me to actively search for a partner, and the negative hopeless cycle repeats. So I am unsure what to do now. Has anyone been in my shoes and have any advice on what to do? 

I'm neither but my previous romantic partners I always just in real life, so going with the flow. I think it's best to just live your life - not waiting - but having fun and just see what people cross your path. If you fall in love with one of them you'll know it.

The last time I fell head over heals I was cruising for sex on Grindr, we had a non-sexual date and nothing came of it but that man made me feel alive. And aunty Babs singing 'Send in the Clowns' and this song still makes me smile:

 

All of them where imperfect and I'd never have picked them out from a catalogue but each of the men I loved had something that sort of spoke to me.
There's no such thing as a right person.

And what's wrong with being a happy single?

Love is too special and rare a thing to risk settling for something second best you're heart isn't really into.

 

[phukhole]

I wasn't looking for a relationship.  22 years later and here we are.  That's not to say that it hasn't been a lot of work at times, but It wasn't my goal on that first night.

[Guest]

I'd love to find a poz guy - that was looking for a LTR - and would poz me

[amanwithaplan333]

I did actively seek it out. And I think it takes work too. Been together with my guy for about 7 years now. I think the thing I learned is that the guy you work best with in a relationship may not be the guy you tend to lust after.  What works in a great hookup isn’t what works in a relationship. I found a guy I knew was a good solid choice, and we worked on it together. My slutty fantasies aren’t really fulfilled in our partnership, but we also understand that that’s something sepetate from what we’re building. So we go out and lay around. And always come home to each other