JoshLandaleXXX Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Got a right tale. Last night i was poppered up watching some nasty bb porn, and fucking ymself with a huge vibrator. Got carried away and the whole thing slipped up inside me. Tried to get it out but couldn't. Went to A&E (ER) and they kept me in, then removed it this afternoon under a general anesthetic... it doesnt hurt, but my arse is like a bucket now.... can't beleive it! THe staff were great, cracking jokes all the time (good job i've a slutty sense of humour)... If you're playing with sex toys, be careful not to get them too far inside you. Mine went past the second sphincter and got caught up in my bowels. They said that if they were unable to simply extract it whilst i was out cold, they'd have had to operate fully, cut open my stomach, and go in that way to remove it. Which woujld have had a 6 month recovery time, and resulted in me having a bag. Take care when playing with sex toys guys... sometimes you get more than you bargained for. On a funny note, it was a strange sensation having this thing vibrate around inside me for 7 hours until the batteries died!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bbplayfulcat Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Had that happen to a friend of mine.He called me one night in a panic.He drove over to my house.I used oraljel around and in his ass.Luckily he's a fister ,so I was able to get my hand all the way in.I got it out ,after a long hour and a half.. He thanked me and relaxed and I got horny and shot a big load in his ass.PAID IN FULL!! It is true ,watch how far you are down on that dildo,it was very nerve racking til I finally took it out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotload84 Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 (edited) Sorry to hear of this incident, Barebacksaunaslut, but am glad you had the presence of mind to go straight to the ER. Also glad to hear the ER staff put you at ease by making light of it. Lesson learned, I suppose. Edited August 3, 2011 by Hotload84 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpunkJunkyPissHound Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I used to party with a guy who like to get fucked with alabaster eggs up his ass. He said he loved the feeling of the cool smooth stones massaging the loads he’d taken into his colon and rectal walls. We stuffed 6 in him, and after I added three different loads over the course of two hours, he fell asleep. In the morning, he was so into cleaning the warm slime and goo off them as he farted them out, that he busted his nut before he could finish grunting out the rest. One leapt out while he was on a city bus 8 hours later, and the other popped out with such force that it cracked the toilet at a gas station. Beware of anything with batteries in your butt- it can take on a life of its own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaric Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I know a Matron who runs an ER Dept. Retrieving lost vibrators is not uncommon, the nurses & doctors hear a whole range of inventive excuses about how it happened "accidentally", but the staff there have seen it all before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotload84 Posted August 2, 2011 Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 I know a Matron who runs an ER Dept. Retrieving lost vibrators is not uncommon, the nurses & doctors hear a whole range of inventive excuses about how it happened "accidentally", but the staff there have seen it all before. I suppose each profession must find humor where it is able. A couple of my sisters worked for one or another nursing home for several years, and would bring hilarious stories back to the dinner table. Perhaps dark humor, but humor, nevertheless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoshLandaleXXX Posted August 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2011 Yes the humour amongst the nurses was fantastic. They kept saying innocent things, but given the circumstances the possibility of double entrende's was huge... once i'd come around and was back on the ward, we were in fits of laughter as they tried to take my obs stats. Saying things like "have you got a strap on"... PMSL! I took a few photos... the first shows the offending vibrator next to a standard sized bottle of HP sauce... while the second is a section of my discharge form showing what i was in for. I've blacked out my real name and NHS patient number for obvious reasons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negcatcher Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 I had that happen with a cucumber, and after I tried all night to get it out I finally went to the er. At that time, no one knew anything about my gayness (except the guys at the book store that I bought my porn from) and this happened in the heart of the bible belt which made it just suck all around. I was mortified , mostly because I had to miss work and my boss came to the hospital when he learned I was there. Like you they had to let nature take it's course, and it finally did come out on its own. Anyway to ensure that it never happened again, I bought a 15" double headed dildo which my friend at the book store and I had a good laugh about. I got pretty chummy with that dildo and I could take it deep into my colon, which felt amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast-Bottom Posted August 3, 2011 Report Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hint: it's safer to use dildoes which have big balls or suction cups at the base, so they can't slide all the way in. There was a news story in England a few years ago. A priest had a raw potato removed from his rectum in E.R. His explanation: "There were some potatoes on the table under a window. I was standing on the table ( in the nude ) to hang curtains. I slipped and landed on a potato". Unlucky guy huh?? ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hotload84 Posted August 5, 2011 Report Share Posted August 5, 2011 I was telling my neighbor of Barebacksaunaslut's unfortunate experience, and my neighbor in turn told me of a experience that was making the circuit at a hospital in which he worked. The short version is that the ER staff was tasked with removing a (presumably empty and relatively small) peanut butter jar from some guy's rectum. Like the unlucky priest mentioned in Belfast-Bottom's posting, the guy with the peanut butter jar in his ass told the hospital staffers that he fell on the jar, and it was, by pure happenstance, lodged in his ass. Quite an unlucky guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast-Bottom Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 The English priest's story: http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/news/a134237/vicar-has-potato-removed-from-bottom.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaric Posted August 6, 2011 Report Share Posted August 6, 2011 I've, but lost track of a video clip where a guy squats on a glass jar to force it up his ass (needed the head phones on for the next bit). It shatters as it slips into his ass - you can hear the pop and the crunching of glass. I read later his missus was in the other room at the time. He then trys to remove the broken glass. Ouch! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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