About our appearance + some thoughts

[Sharp-edge]

I tend to overthink. Maybe this post is one of these times. I keep on hearing that the real issue is not how we look but what other people see on us. That if we lack confidence etc this will bring a negative outcome. And that makes some people think okay I will feel confident and it will do the trick. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I do believe that what we feel is what we "radiate" and it is this "radiation" that catches one's attention. But it's not a simple thing. Everybody knows what makes him feel nice and what not. So wearing something nice will definitely show. But it's more than that. We live in an era that promotes the "body positivity". But while it started with good intentions I think people are becoming a little deluded about it. Deep down everybody knows what he likes and what he doesn't. There are cases where a mental disease (such us anorexia) that can afffect that. But if we think of an average person he knows if his body looks bad or not. Or better yet, he knows if he likes what he sees or not. So I think that we should try and be the way we want to be and not take the easy approach that someone should just take us the way we are. In my eyes the magical feeling of flirt is all that struggle to attract.

When I fell in love with someone many many years ago I thought that I had no chance. And I was right. He was a man and I was in a "slumber". The feelings he generated inside me help me awaken. Somehow in that process I felt that I was getting better. I felt that I was no able to participate in the game we call love. 

[BootmanLA]

15 minutes ago, Sharp-edge said:

We live in an era that promotes the "body positivity". But while it started with good intentions I think people are becoming a little deluded about it. Deep down everybody knows what he likes and what he doesn't. There are cases where a mental disease (such us anorexia) that can afffect that. But if we think of an average person he knows if his body looks bad or not. Or better yet, he knows if he likes what he sees or not. So I think that we should try and be the way we want to be and not take the easy approach that someone should just take us the way we are. In my eyes the magical feeling of flirt is all that struggle to attract.

I get what you're saying, but I disagree to a large extent. A big chunk of people's perception of us is how we carry ourselves - a pretty physically fit body inhabited by a wallflower personality can get overlooked, and someone who may not be as fit but who carries himself with confidence and an outgoing personality may well attract a lot more positive attention.

Moreover, while there are some "general" things that many or most people like, saying someone's body "looks bad" is incredibly insensitive, not to mention misleading. Every body type, from the most anorexic-looking twink (or former twink) through fit, to muscle-bound, to pudgy, to obese, is attractive to some people out there. Clearly there are some types that appeal to a larger audience than others, but saying some bodies "look bad" is, as I so often point out on here, navel gazing and projecting one's own interests onto the world at large.

And frankly, I would MUCH rather be with someone who is, say, somewhat overweight but not obsessed with improving his body than someone who is super-fit but who is constantly worried about whether he can "afford" to eat a richer meal today because he might gain half a pound. If all you're concerned about is whether someone is hot enough for you to want to objectify all the time, of course, well, yeah: you're going to want a guy who is "try[ing] to be the way [he] wants to be". Me, I'd much rather have someone who's happy with himself.

[btmdad]

As a " mature" bottom that has just recently begun to exlpore my  total bottom side, I can say that I used to be very concrened about how I looked.   I am in good shape,  have a nice butt.  I am also 62 years old.   When I first started going out looking to get fucked I was worried that no one would want to fuck me.   Not to worry.   There are plenty of guys out there that are happy to stick their dick in me.  To be fair, I am not very picky.  I am looking to get fucked. I am not loooking to get married.  If the guy has a hard cock and wants to fuck me, then lets go.  When I am cruising in bath houses etc and I see  people that even I do not find attractive (  that is a hard thing to do)  passing on an opportunity to get sucked or fuck,  I wonder what in the heck are they even doing  there.  Yes it turns me on to have some  built stud with a big cock want to fuck me but all in all , even a short older man with a belly can fuck me if his dick is hard.