Just because I’m a cumdump does not mean I have to accept your STI.

[topblkmale]

1 hour ago, RawNYTop said:

That's what I was thinking, shots fired!

 

Its not harsh nor shots fired. I live in a dicey dense urban area where I'm more personally cautious about my interactions with folks on Grindr. Location-based gay hook-up apps can be jail broken, hacked and deep web sourced for personal information. Revenge on Grindr is real and understanding criminal intent doesn't make one a sociopath.

 

[RawNYTop]

11 minutes ago, topblkmale said:

 

Its not harsh nor shots fired. I live in a dicey dense urban area where I'm more personally cautious about my interactions with folks on Grindr. Location-based gay hook-up apps can be jail broken, hacked and deep web sourced for personal information. Revenge on Grindr is real and understanding criminal intent doesn't make one a sociopath.

 

That is why I deleted my Grindr profile. I have too many situations with fake profiles wanting to move the conversation to Whatsapp. I can't trust anyone on that app.

[TaKinGDeePanal]

On 1/1/2024 at 6:20 AM, BootmanLA said:

Perhaps. But I always find it odd when people's minds immediately go to the worst possible outcome - especially one like this, where the "slighted" guy plots revenge by waiting until he's infectious again, seeking out the guy who said something originally using a different ID, and then deliberately attempting to infect him. It takes a certain mindset to "go there", and I'm always curious why. 

Not necessarily. Police use a version of this when trying to catch criminals - and the aim of Military Intelligence is trying to out-imagine your enemy.

Edited January 6 by TaKinGDeePanal

[BootmanLA]

16 hours ago, TaKinGDeePanal said:

Not necessarily. Police use a version of this when trying to catch criminals - and the aim of Military Intelligence is trying to out-imagine your enemy.

I think that kind of proves my point. When ordinary people adopt the tactics of the military evaluating an enemy - or our hyper-militarized police treating other citizens as "the enemy" - with respect to social encounters, I think that's kind of pathological,

[cman102]

If you've fucked raw for any point of time you already have it. Over half of gay men do - and so do you if you fuck raw at bathhouses, with strangers, etc

[Guest]

I am so confused by this thread and especially the comments from the +UD guys.  I feel like I MUST be missing something.  Although I agree with the title of the thread (you don't need to accept STIs), this specific case of Herpes has me baffled.  And the top's disclosure actually seems strange to me too since he's "dormant and no outbreaks".  Both my straight female doctor and my pharmacist (a friend) have told me "most" sexually active adults with "multiple partners" have Herpes.  I found out 20+ years ago I tested positive for Herpes, but I never thought I had an outbreak.  Finally - twice since that time I realized the blister on my ass cheek was my outbreak.  Trwice in 20+ years, and basically EVERYONE I'm having sex with (other slutty guys) 99.9% chance they have it too.  Almost everyone on this site probably has herpes whether they have outbreaks or not.  It seems virtually impossible to have been fucked "well over 1,000 times" and not have it yourself.  

The only analogy I can think of is a +UD bottom saying he will not let another +UD guy fuck him raw because he's going to give him HIV (which he already has - and the top is UD too U=U).  But almost everyone seems to agree that @eroswired should NOT take this guy's (dormant) herpes load, and the top seems to be getting shamed for disclosing it.  I'm pretty sure "most" guys on this site have herpes, and I'm guessing next to no one discloses it if they are NOT having an outbreak.  I can vouch that NO ONE out of thousands have ever disclosed to me that they have herpes, and after the first few guys laughed me off for telling them, I stopped mentioning it too.  Those couple times I had an outbreak, I just took a break till it went away.  What am I missing here?  Maybe I am a sociopath too?

[PozBearWI]

1 hour ago, justsexnowatl said:

I am so confused by this thread and especially the comments from the +UD guys.  I feel like I MUST be missing something.  Although I agree with the title of the thread (you don't need to accept STIs), this specific case of Herpes has me baffled.  And the top's disclosure actually seems strange to me too since he's "dormant and no outbreaks".  Both my straight female doctor and my pharmacist (a friend) have told me "most" sexually active adults with "multiple partners" have Herpes.  I found out 20+ years ago I tested positive for Herpes, but I never thought I had an outbreak.  Finally - twice since that time I realized the blister on my ass cheek was my outbreak.  Trwice in 20+ years, and basically EVERYONE I'm having sex with (other slutty guys) 99.9% chance they have it too.  Almost everyone on this site probably has herpes whether they have outbreaks or not.  It seems virtually impossible to have been fucked "well over 1,000 times" and not have it yourself.  

The only analogy I can think of is a +UD bottom saying he will not let another +UD guy fuck him raw because he's going to give him HIV (which he already has - and the top is UD too U=U).  But almost everyone seems to agree that @eroswired should NOT take this guy's (dormant) herpes load, and the top seems to be getting shamed for disclosing it.  I'm pretty sure "most" guys on this site have herpes, and I'm guessing next to no one discloses it if they are NOT having an outbreak.  I can vouch that NO ONE out of thousands have ever disclosed to me that they have herpes, and after the first few guys laughed me off for telling them, I stopped mentioning it too.  Those couple times I had an outbreak, I just took a break till it went away.  What am I missing here?  Maybe I am a sociopath too?

I certainly don't understand shaming or otherwise castigating someone for herpes.  It is pretty ubiquitous. I control mine with thrice daily acyclovir.  Inexpensive and effective at managing outbreaks. Compared to my HIV it is nothing I fret.  

[BootmanLA]

2 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

Both my straight female doctor and my pharmacist (a friend) have told me "most" sexually active adults with "multiple partners" have Herpes.

-and-

It seems virtually impossible to have been fucked "well over 1,000 times" and not have it yourself.

That's only true in a vague, general sense, if you include oral herpes (cold sores) as well as genital herpes. While both may be caused by either HSV-1 or HSV-2, there's not necessarily much crossover; and while between 50 and 80 percent of adults in this country have oral herpes, only about 1 in 6 has genital herpes. It may be true that the prevalence is higher among people with multiple partners (which makes sense), but even that's not a "most".

And things like this vary greatly with geography. When you're in a large metropolitan area that has both a big sexually active population of men having sex with men AND a lot of visitors and tourists passing through, the changes of an infection spreading quickly among a lot of people is a lot higher than if you live in East Bumfuck, West Virginia. And even then, a sexually active bottom may take a lot of fucks from a lot of men, but if most of them are the "sneak off once a year from the wife to fuck some guy's ass" type, chances are good most of them aren't going to have herpes either, which has to be accounted for in the odds.

2 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

But almost everyone seems to agree that @eroswired should NOT take this guy's (dormant) herpes load, and the top seems to be getting shamed for disclosing it. 

I don't think that's what people are saying. Rather, if a person, FOR WHATEVER REASON, decides that a particular load isn't worth the risk, any reasonable person should accept that and move on; we're not entitled to fuck someone just because many other have, and a bottom ALWAYS has the right to refuse access to anyone, anytime, for any reason. He made that decision, and people (as I see it) are supporting his right to make it, against the top (in his case) getting bitchy and trying to tell the OP how he should live his life ("Don't be a cumdump, then"). I'm not shaming the top for disclosing (I applaud that) but I'm shaming him, in absentia, for being a dick about being turned down.

3 hours ago, justsexnowatl said:

I'm pretty sure "most" guys on this site have herpes, and I'm guessing next to no one discloses it if they are NOT having an outbreak.  I can vouch that NO ONE out of thousands have ever disclosed to me that they have herpes, and after the first few guys laughed me off for telling them, I stopped mentioning it too.  Those couple times I had an outbreak, I just took a break till it went away.  What am I missing here?  Maybe I am a sociopath too?

You seem to be extrapolating a lot from your experiences, assuming they're what everyone else here does.

[cman102]

On 2/14/2024 at 2:47 PM, BootmanLA said:

While both may be caused by either HSV-1 or HSV-2, there's not necessarily much crossover; and while between 50 and 80 percent of adults in this country have oral herpes, only about 1 in 6 has genital herpes. It may be true that the prevalence is higher among people with multiple partners (which makes sense), but even that's not a "most".

Late but still wanted to say that in this case, the OP said he has been fucked by well over 1000 guys. For easy math just say 25% of gay men have hsv2 (much higher prevalence among HIV positive men), at over 1,000 men or "trials" if you will its statistically impossible this dude doesn't have hsv2. Even more-so if you consider he said he was a cumdump. Still agree with later sure he doesn't have to fuck the guy if he doesn't wanna but my point is there is a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than this guy NOT having hsv2 already.

[BootmanLA]

18 hours ago, cman102 said:

Late but still wanted to say that in this case, the OP said he has been fucked by well over 1000 guys. For easy math just say 25% of gay men have hsv2 (much higher prevalence among HIV positive men), at over 1,000 men or "trials" if you will its statistically impossible this dude doesn't have hsv2. Even more-so if you consider he said he was a cumdump. Still agree with later sure he doesn't have to fuck the guy if he doesn't wanna but my point is there is a higher chance of getting struck by lightning than this guy NOT having hsv2 already.

Well, yes and no.

Having HSV2 doesn't mean that you're able to spread it every time you have sex. Aside from the simple "luck" factor, the risk of transmission is lower when the infected person does not have an "active" (ie visible) infection. It can still happen, but it's not a certainty.

I agree the odds are definitely in favor that he's been exposed to it and may well be carrying it. But I wouldn't say you could call it "statistically impossible". 

[ryanroman]

On 2/14/2024 at 11:44 AM, delete222 said:

I am so confused by this thread and especially the comments from the +UD guys.  I feel like I MUST be missing something.  Although I agree with the title of the thread (you don't need to accept STIs), this specific case of Herpes has me baffled.  And the top's disclosure actually seems strange to me too since he's "dormant and no outbreaks".  Both my straight female doctor and my pharmacist (a friend) have told me "most" sexually active adults with "multiple partners" have Herpes.  I found out 20+ years ago I tested positive for Herpes, but I never thought I had an outbreak.  Finally - twice since that time I realized the blister on my ass cheek was my outbreak.  Trwice in 20+ years, and basically EVERYONE I'm having sex with (other slutty guys) 99.9% chance they have it too.  Almost everyone on this site probably has herpes whether they have outbreaks or not.  It seems virtually impossible to have been fucked "well over 1,000 times" and not have it yourself.  

The only analogy I can think of is a +UD bottom saying he will not let another +UD guy fuck him raw because he's going to give him HIV (which he already has - and the top is UD too U=U).  But almost everyone seems to agree that @eroswired should NOT take this guy's (dormant) herpes load, and the top seems to be getting shamed for disclosing it.  I'm pretty sure "most" guys on this site have herpes, and I'm guessing next to no one discloses it if they are NOT having an outbreak.  I can vouch that NO ONE out of thousands have ever disclosed to me that they have herpes, and after the first few guys laughed me off for telling them, I stopped mentioning it too.  Those couple times I had an outbreak, I just took a break till it went away.  What am I missing here?  Maybe I am a sociopath too?

I've had herpes for 20 years and extreme stress was always a trigger.  Once I went on valtrex, I stopped having outbreaks altogether.