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Curious about your journey to bareback whoredom


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I was a late starter with anal. I loved to suck but I'd been brought up with the whole "spunk will kill you" mantra of the 80s.

But I was desperate to feel a cock inside me. I always wanted it to be bare. Why bother if you dont take the load? Use a dildo!

In my life I've taken two rubbered cocks and hated it... the whole point of being fucked for me was to take the load inside me.

After the first dick though I was addicted. To the point that even now, if I don't get at least a load a week, minimum, I genuinely start to feel down.

But of course I convinced myself that I was a smart bottom. I chose guys that only topped. I chose guys who had negative in profiles. I avoided poz guys - even, later, the undetectable ones. I believed the guys who said they were negative.

Buy it just didn't properly feed my addiction. It didn't quiet the slut. It simply wasn't enough.

I *needed* to be the slut that I am. So, I began to stop asking.

I stopped looking at their profiles. I mean I didn't care what they looked like. A slut isn't choosy!

And still it wasn't enough. 

Finally giving myself to every cock offered as long as it was bare was the thing that finally made me happy. Going to saunas and bending over for every guy who wanted me - but actively rejecting those who wanted to wear a rubber. Almost aggressively seeking out bb.

Going to cum unions.

I crave quantity over quality. I'd prefer 5 low quality, fast, pump and dumps from 5 complete strangers over one good fuck from someone i lnow. I know most guys are the opposite but it is my ethos and it's in my DNA. I am a slut. I'm proud to be a slut. I'm here to take loads. As many as physically possible.

I stopped caring about what might happen and started getting what my psyche screamed for.

I test regularly now of course. 

It took years between being afraid, to being able to accept what I wanted to be, but fuck me it made me happy when I got there.

I'd love to know your journeys to full slut as a top or bottom.

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Generational difference here. Started out bareback in my freshman year of HS. Sex Ed in Texas is a joke and didn't cover gay sex, much about HIV/AIDS or how to prevent it. I'd been fucking around a while before someone gave me the skinny on it all. Tried safe sex and fucking hated it. Was nervous about taking loads from strangers and very picky in HS. Once I was 18 that all changed. But I didn't come up with the stigma against bareback sex. Part of it is being Latino too. Latino guys just never use condoms. It's a cultural thing.

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I started playing with guys when I was younger, but was always very careful. I was living in the city when the first guy took me raw. I brought him home from the bar and he wouldn't play with a condom, so i gave in, and loved every second if it and ended up begging for his load. Even then though, it was a rare occasion. Ten years later, I've finally accepted that I'm just a bb slut. Now I've taken dozens of loads and will only look for guys who play raw. It's bareback only from here on and it feels so good to give in and take loads deep. No going back now.

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I came of age at the height of the AIDS crisis, so it was a long journey for me. I rarely barebacked at all for the 1st 10 years, and did not knowing take a load in my own hole until after I found out I was poz 28 years later. I other than one guy I bred a few times when I was in grad school, I didn't really start barebacking much until I started going to bathhouses when I was 30. I did breed at least a couple of thousand holes before I started going full pig as a bottom as well as a top.

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Honing the definition of "journey" somewhat, my own "journey" only began once I went away to school.  

It's not easy to explain or understand, but in the burg where I grew up, one of the most horrific things that could happen would be that others would look down on you, for whatever reason.  I didn't understand it then, but I do now.  "What will (other) people think?" was one of the worst-possible results of misbehavior that could possibly occur.  So, I was raised in a "lemming-like" crowd of people who would do anything to prevent others from having so much as a question about their behavior.  When everyone you interact with - kids, parents - know who you are, who your parents are, which Church you go to, only the really rebellious ones do whatever they want and say f.y. to the cultural structure, and they were cast out early on.  Even years later, when I took the exit off the Interstate to visit my folks, it seemed like heavy, wet, invisible blanket settled over me, and didn't lift until I hit the Interstate back to Chicago.

Once I escaped - went away to school - it was different; I could be who I knew I needed to be - certainly not "out" - no one was, but at least there weren't authority figures everywhere waiting to catch any infraction, summoning forth the HellFire to burn me to a cinder.  So it was an "Alex-in-Wonderland" kind of thing.  I sucked my first Cock, fucked my first Hole, all the stuff every other guy does, figured out where I fit in the amazing puzzle we call "Life", and never looked back,  

Sure, I have a few regrets, things I could have done better, but none of those have one bit to do with coming to terms with my sexual proclivities.  The arrival of hiv certainly did put my tastes on hold for a coupe of years, but sticking to my life-partner exclusively was hardly a cross to bear.  So when the medications against it became available and guys started fucking in the backrooms again, it was nice to get back to "pig" fucking. 

Best of all, I'm still l doing what I want, when I want, and that's one definition of real Freedom.

 

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👍

15 hours ago, marriedsub said:
15 hours ago, marriedsub said:

Not yet out of the afraid phase, I guess

 

We're all pulling for you, bud ... The fact that you're here in BZ is already a great step.  Ask any guy on here anything you want/need to know ... you'll get to where you need to be !!

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