ethics of hooking up with an STI?

[tr4veler]

I just tested positive for rectal chlamydia, and I'm on a 7-day regimen of doxy. Normally, I'd fully abstain during this time, but I was thinking of what the ethics of this actually are if you're cumdumping...like, if you're hosting and people are coming to fuck you, wouldn't they already be accepting the risk of exposure anyway, given the unknown number and source of cocks and cum involved? This is hypothetical...for now...

[blackrobe]

17 hours ago, tr4veler said:

I just tested positive for rectal chlamydia, and I'm on a 7-day regimen of doxy. Normally, I'd fully abstain during this time, but I was thinking of what the ethics of this actually are if you're cumdumping...like, if you're hosting and people are coming to fuck you, wouldn't they already be accepting the risk of exposure anyway, given the unknown number and source of cocks and cum involved? This is hypothetical...for now...

If you're regularly tested, and make that known, the expectation is that you are STI free to the best of your knowledge. The risk to a partner is relatively low.

Failing to disclose that you have an active STI to a partner puts them at very high risk of exposure. These are two very different levels of exposure risk. Hiding the elevated risk to partners puts you on the wrong side of ethical behavior. 

Having an active STI and needing to pause in taking men's dicks and seed until it's gone is not easy for those of us built for that purpose. But it is the ethical thing to do. 

[Safer]

You are sick. Get treated and then play. Thats like deliberately going to a baseball game with the flu.

[Iker80]

Well, the difference between status unknown between testing and knowing you have an STD is like the difference recommending an investment you expect will be fine but has some risk vs recommending one you're very sure will fail. The first one feels fair enough, the second feels not fair.

Edited Sunday at 09:42 PM by Iker80

[tr4veler]

Good points to all. Definitely abstaining till I’m done with my doxy!

[BarebackedBear]

The ethics are simple and shouldn't even be a question: you should make every effort to always know your status through regular testing, and disclose it to any potential partners so they can make an informed choice. Did you consider that it was someone either not knowing their status or actively hiding it from you that put you in this situation? Why would you risk doing the same to someone else?

If abstaining for a week so you can get treatment & protect your potential partners is too much for you, I'd consider doing some soul searching during your week of abstinence, because that's a next level of selfishness.

[tr4veler]

15 hours ago, BarebackedBear said:

The ethics are simple and shouldn't even be a question: you should make every effort to always know your status through regular testing, and disclose it to any potential partners so they can make an informed choice. Did you consider that it was someone either not knowing their status or actively hiding it from you that put you in this situation? Why would you risk doing the same to someone else?

If abstaining for a week so you can get treatment & protect your potential partners is too much for you, I'd consider doing some soul searching during your week of abstinence, because that's a next level of selfishness.

Ok first of all, I am abstaining. I was as a default.  I asked what I thought was an interesting question here, and saw what the consensus was. It confirmed my baseline belief and I continued with it. 
 

second, I really don’t appreciate you coming into a message board where I asked a question and having you (who do not know me) calling me the “next level of selfishness.” Maybe you should do some “soul searching” about why you feel the need to come online and judge strangers like that. 

[BarebackedBear]

On 8/30/2025 at 3:43 PM, tr4veler said:

This is hypothetical...for now...

 

16 minutes ago, tr4veler said:

second, I really don’t appreciate you coming into a message board where I asked a question and having you (who do not know me) calling me the “next level of selfishness.” Maybe you should do some “soul searching” about why you feel the need to come online and judge strangers like that. 

I stand by my statement. This is the last statement I will make on the matter.

[phillygwm]

At a very minimum, you disclose beforehand.  There are people who are chasing so it might not be an issue for them in a one on one setting.  Personally, in a gang bang setting, I expect that people aren't knowingly transmitting any bugs.  Sure, some people will be likely poz and undetectable or carrying something  (i.e. Herpes but not in an outbreak) but they're not contagious at that moment.  And yes, someone may have recently contracted something and is contagious but asymptomatic; that's just an occupational risk of being/using a cumdump.

Edited 8 hours ago by phillygwm

[Leatherman667]

What about oral if you have STI in your arse? 

[tr4veler]

52 minutes ago, Leatherman667 said:

What about oral if you have STI in your arse? 

According to my sources, it's still a no-no.  Otherwise I would have 100% been on my knees at the ABS this weekend.

[Leatherman667]

5 hours ago, tr4veler said:

According to my sources, it's still a no-no.  Otherwise I would have 100% been on my knees at the ABS this weekend.

Thanks. I don’t understand why it is a ‘no no’. But what do I know?

[ShyPiggy]

I would wait until it cleared up, or if I wanted to play before that I'd be upfront with people about the STI. 

[SomewhereonNeptune]

 

On 9/1/2025 at 6:35 AM, BarebackedBear said:

The ethics are simple and shouldn't even be a question: you should make every effort to always know your status through regular testing, and disclose it to any potential partners so they can make an informed choice. Did you consider that it was someone either not knowing their status or actively hiding it from you that put you in this situation? Why would you risk doing the same to someone else?

If abstaining for a week so you can get treatment & protect your potential partners is too much for you, I'd consider doing some soul searching during your week of abstinence, because that's a next level of selfishness.

The last I checked, this is still a "discussion forum", except that in some parts here I find it gets rather preachy or holier-than-thou about having specific viewpoints. I certainly don't expect everyone to (or sometimes anyone) to agree with me, but I'd hope we be tolerant of other points of view regardless of finding them offensive. 

16 hours ago, tr4veler said:

Ok first of all, I am abstaining. I was as a default.  I asked what I thought was an interesting question here, and saw what the consensus was. It confirmed my baseline belief and I continued with it. 

second, I really don’t appreciate you coming into a message board where I asked a question and having you (who do not know me) calling me the “next level of selfishness.” Maybe you should do some “soul searching” about why you feel the need to come online and judge strangers like that. 

Thank you @tr4veler for calling this out. I'll weigh in and say this is a 'choice', but one that should be made with the benefit of information so that people are free to make decisions based on facts. Guess it's now a rarity to even talk about some subjects, and this is a place where I would think there are few or no sacred cows. 

Edited 11 minutes ago by SomewhereonNeptune

[tr4veler]

13 minutes ago, Leatherman667 said:

Thanks. I don’t understand why it is a ‘no no’. But what do I know?

apparently, even if it appears in your anus, it can be present elsewhere and spread through your saliva.