Anyone else notice a big uptick in racist and misogynist rhetoric in cruising?

[tr4veler]

I mostly use sniffies, and I don't know if it's just a vibe or actually an increase, but I feel like since January I've been noticing more and more guys stating preferences that are very racialized and others that are very misogynistic. Things I've noticed:

- a lot more guys explicitly stating racial preferences for partners, in all directions (e.g. no whites, no blacks, but also parties that are black tops/white bottoms only, white bottoms who express a preference for black tops, etc. etc .) or who state their own race in their posts, as though it's part of their own sexual identity (e.g. come fuck my white/asian/latin ass)

- a lot more guys who equate submissive with feminine and female.  Lots more "turn me into your little fem sissy bitch" or the like.  

I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum, but I do feel like there's a trend here that goes along more broadly with the rise of hate and categorizing people by race, gender, etc ., in the country, and that the pushback I used to see in gay spaces around racial preferences seems to have evaporated, at least in the spaces I've been looking at.

Is this just me? I'm finding this depressing and want to see if it's a bigger trend.

[flipfucknfunguy]

depends on the location, really. Have always seen that type of positioning, but see it less in major cities. 

[tr4veler]

6 hours ago, flipfucknfunguy said:

depends on the location, really. Have always seen that type of positioning, but see it less in major cities. 

Yeah I’m in DC

[viking8x6]

On 9/16/2025 at 12:10 PM, tr4veler said:

- a lot more guys explicitly stating racial preferences for partners, in all directions (e.g. no whites, no blacks, but also parties that are black tops/white bottoms only, white bottoms who express a preference for black tops, etc. etc .) or who state their own race in their posts, as though it's part of their own sexual identity (e.g. come fuck my white/asian/latin ass)

- a lot more guys who equate submissive with feminine and female.  Lots more "turn me into your little fem sissy bitch" or the like.  

I'm not trying to yuck anyone's yum, but I do feel like there's a trend here that goes along more broadly with the rise of hate and categorizing people by race, gender, etc ., in the country, and that the pushback I used to see in gay spaces around racial preferences seems to have evaporated, at least in the spaces I've been looking at.

YMMV (never more true than in the online hookup world).

I completely agree about the prevalence of fem/female presentation, though I see it even much more so on Grindr than on Sniffies. To the point where (apparently) cis women have profiles on there. And there has been an increasing prevalence of male-presenting guys who are explicitly and exclusively seeking transfem, CD, or fem-presenting male. I don't see this as misogynistic so much as an unexpected consequence of the increased visibility of trans (and especially transfeminine) people, enhanced by the echo chamber effect of the internet (where prevalence of a particular meme in an environment causes people interested in the meme to post more and to seek out that environment).

I also see a vastly higher proportion of race-oriented content here in majority-black Baltimore (where I moved a year ago) than I did in West Virginia (90+% white by my estimate).

[dirtyarizona]

No, I haven't noticed that at all.

[swoll]

They're trying to decide people more than ever now.

And unfortunately, they're doing a really good job of it.

[will_zeis23]

Given im a host only guy I get a lot of chub and size bias. I get over that. But I live in the SF bay area so its not usually good for racists around here. 

[Poz50something]

On 9/16/2025 at 12:10 PM, tr4veler said:

 

- a lot more guys explicitly stating racial preferences for partners, in all directions (e.g. no whites, no blacks, but also parties that are black tops/white bottoms only, white bottoms who express a preference for black tops, etc. etc .) or who state their own race in their posts,

as though it's part of their own sexual identity (e.g. come fuck my white/asian/latin ass)

but it is part of the SEXUALISED identity…one can never escape, with few exceptions, the association of race with certain stereotypes…yes, we’re LGBTQ, and we’ve been stereotyped all our lives, and we should know better…there are some who’ve been guilty, moi même, of the bbc phenomenon, and not seeing people as entities. People have said …you top? Yeah, occasionally…But you shave your chest…Nope…

as far as expressing a preference racially, yeah it’s annoying…am I going to change their opinion of my suitability? Depends on how much I have invested in this situation. 

On 9/16/2025 at 12:10 PM, tr4veler said:

- a lot more guys who equate submissive with feminine and female.  Lots more "turn me into your little fem sissy bitch" or the 

I see this as less problematic, because it’s someone presenting their sexuality as ‘fem sissy’, and not having their partner defining this person…that’s probably not something I have described myself as, but more power to this person. 

[tr4veler]

22 minutes ago, Poz50something said:

but it is part of the SEXUALISED identity…one can never escape, with few exceptions, the association of race with certain stereotypes…yes, we’re LGBTQ, and we’ve been stereotyped all our lives, and we should know better…there are some who’ve been guilty, moi même, of the bbc phenomenon, and not seeing people as entities. People have said …you top? Yeah, occasionally…But you shave your chest…Nope…

as far as expressing a preference racially, yeah it’s annoying…am I going to change their opinion of my suitability? Depends on how much I have invested in this situation. 

I see this as less problematic, because it’s someone presenting their sexuality as ‘fem sissy’, and not having their partner defining this person…that’s probably not something I have described myself as, but more power to this person. 

There's a big difference between a shaved chest and a racial identity, though, no? And I think the issue I'm seeing is one of a trend, not just an individual preference. 

 

Re: the gendered thing, I don't see a problem with wanting to be femme, etc. but I do see a problem when it is linked to wanting to be degraded...as though being feminine or a sissy is shameful...

[tr4veler]

1 hour ago, will_zeis23 said:

Given im a host only guy I get a lot of chub and size bias. I get over that. But I live in the SF bay area so its not usually good for racists around here. 

oh trust me, as a fat guy, I get that too.  It sucks, and is pervasive, but seems distinct from the other stuff.

[tr4veler]

2 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

YMMV (never more true than in the online hookup world).

I completely agree about the prevalence of fem/female presentation, though I see it even much more so on Grindr than on Sniffies. To the point where (apparently) cis women have profiles on there. And there has been an increasing prevalence of male-presenting guys who are explicitly and exclusively seeking transfem, CD, or fem-presenting male. I don't see this as misogynistic so much as an unexpected consequence of the increased visibility of trans (and especially transfeminine) people, enhanced by the echo chamber effect of the internet (where prevalence of a particular meme in an environment causes people interested in the meme to post more and to seek out that environment).

I also see a vastly higher proportion of race-oriented content here in majority-black Baltimore (where I moved a year ago) than I did in West Virginia (90+% white by my estimate).

I think the thing is, it's not a neutral presentation or interest in transfemme, etc. I'm seeing more talk of it as a shameful thing, or part of wanting to be degraded..

[Poz50something]

49 minutes ago, tr4veler said:

There's a big difference between a shaved chest and a racial identity, though, no? And I think the issue I'm seeing is one of a trend, not just an individual preference. 

I don’t shave my chest - I am naturally smooth, but a lot of people don’t see Asians as ‘capable’ of topping…maybe I should have clarified that more ….. unfortunately , some people ascribe certain values to various races…

 

[Poz50something]

57 minutes ago, tr4veler said:

Re: the gendered thing, I don't see a problem with wanting to be femme, etc. but I do see a problem when it is linked to wanting to be degraded...as though being feminine or a sissy is shameful..

is this assertion by the person?  If someone says ‘turn my $&@ot pussy out, is it necessarily because they want to be degraded?? 

Could you give us some examples of people wanting to be degraded  because they present as femme?