"Bitch" me

[tallslenderguy]

More recently in my journey, i've come to understand a distinction (for me) between feminization and emasculation. For me, while the two can intersect or overlap, they are also two distinct things. i don't feel like i am a trans person, or that i am a woman in a guys body. i do feel like i have attributes of both genders, but more like a guy with some female parts? And some of my sexual need/desire wiring maybe is not necessarily gender related, but can get evoked by certain Guys Who see or want me in a particular way.

For example, i have a FuckBuddy (FB) Who i get together with 3-4x a week for almost 6 years now. He's a Bi Latino, 28 years old and has been a body builder since age 13. If i saw Him on the street, i would not be attracted to Him visually, my response would be neutral. Psychologically though? He's managed to (inadvertently?) bond me and sort of possess me. Part of His make up is how i came to understand the "emasculation" part of me. He's not very verbally expressive when it comes to His psychological wiring, but over time, i've been able to understand from how He is with me, and occasional terms He uses. One time He shyly used a term with me that He "likes to bitch" me. 

Over time i've gotten a more detailed understanding of what that means to Him and how we have formed a very strong bond. He's probably bred me close to a thousand times now. Because He is Bi, also i think His Latino culture figures in, He is on the DL, so i never contact Him, He always is the initiator, and to this day i am still a little surprised we are a thing. But He continues to want to get with me 3-4x a week. Over time, what we do has varied, but all vanilla stuff, it always ends with me prone underneath Him and Him inseminating me. Always. i'm a tall skinny older guy, and He's this very muscular younger Guy, so i feel very dominated under Him, but never in a forceful or mean way, and that is part of the mind fuck for me. i think for Him, He sees and feels with me , in many ways, like He does with a woman (i'm pretty sure i'm the only guy He has been with). Thus the term "bitch" me. But it's way more than that. He holds and controls my body in, again strong but gentle ways while He is fucking me, maybe like He would treat a woman? Recently He has started doing this thing, that really cemented it for me, where He reaches under with both of His hands while He is plowing me and holds my chest like maybe He would hold a womans breasts... and the psychological effect it has on me is profound. i feel totally possessed and emasculated when He does that. There are other ways He holds my waste and hips to assert gentle, strong, purposeful control that take me to a similar place, 'bitch me.' The effect is so real, not role play at all,, like we are both experiencing something in those moments that connects and bonds us deeply. It never gets old, and i always profound.

[blackrobe]

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

More recently in my journey, i've come to understand a distinction (for me) between feminization and emasculation. For me, while the two can intersect or overlap, they are also two distinct things. i don't feel like i am a trans person, or that i am a woman in a guys body. i do feel like i have attributes of both genders, but more like a guy with some female parts? And some of my sexual need/desire wiring maybe is not necessarily gender related, but can get evoked by certain Guys Who see or want me in a particular way.

Emasculation is depriving someone of their male role identity. Feminization is giving someone a feminine quality or character.

It could be either or both of these that are driving your FB "bitch(ing) you". Or it could be that he instinctively understands your nature and connects with you authentically in the moment. That kind of connection is deeply bonding.