Persistent [banned word] pressures me into finally giving in

[Supermanct]

When I first started having sexual thoughts and ideas about being with another man, one of the first things I did in an attempt to begin exploring was scroll through the m2m ads on Craigslist and doublelist. It’d get me turned on reading what other guys are looking for and seeing what’s out there. I became more curious and eager to see if I could actually meet someone even if it was just to chat back and forth, share fantasies, talk about sexual experiences with other men, etc. 

Being that I had just gotten engaged a few months ago to the sweetest and most perfect girl I’ve ever met before, I had to be careful not to get caught… so I created a secret email account that I could hide on my phone and use whenever I wanted to do my exploring…

I went from just responding to ads that other men posted, to posting some of my own. It was an innocent and discreet enough way for me to test the waters, meet some guys, and possibly see if I could ever meet someone to help me take things one step further. 
After a few months I had a few older guys in my area who I’d email back and forth in an attempt to finally get together to do all of the things we’d been talking about and fantasizing of doing if we were to meet. I strung guys along and continued to make it seem as if I was serious about meeting in person, but could never actually follow through bc I’d be nervous or scared or paranoid I’d get caught. Months turned into a year and I’d chatted with tons of different guys about a wide range of things that we’d do. Not many guys would continue to entertain me after a few failed attempts to meet, but there was one guy who I had ended up continuing talking to on an off. He was a pretty laid back and easy to talk to type of guy, seemed like the normal horny kind of guy who you’d come across thru personal ads. We shared more and more about our turn ons, fantasies, likes, dislikes, home situations, etc. After months and months of us divulging to each other about all things sexual, the things we’d talk about would get a bit more kinky and [banned word] and we uncovered a lot of secret kinks and perverted fantasies we both had but never spoke of to anyone else before. He made me feel so comfortable and open and willing to be vulnerable when we conversed. 
Eventually we both felt like our connection was genuine and we started to talk about maybe meeting up to experiment and play together. He was much older and had alot more experience with other men, and I was pretty much a clueless virgin that was innocent to some degree and just willing and eager to do whatever came my way and became possible. He would send me emails daily, asking if I wanted to meet, trying to make plans and figuring out where we could go, what we could do, and really trying harder and harder to convince me into agreeing to something. He knew I was extremely nervous and scared to act on my desires and all the things we’d been talking through for what ended up being more than a year. He would propose semi public places that were secluded but not fully secure for us to meet and hookup… he’d tell me that he would meet me in the bathroom of a store or a fitting room so that I could try sucking my first cock…even if it was just for a minute or two.

His offers grew more and more tempting to me… he was getting me closer and more comfortable with the idea of a private meeting for a quick oral hookup. Every time he asked and pleaded and pressured me into meeting him somewhere, he came off more and more desperate, and that was kind of a turn on for me. I never got the kind of desire and attention sexually from anyone before and it was exciting to be pursued in the way he was coming after me.

…. To be continued….