CNC - how the fuck does this actually work?

[PozToxVersPig]

I've been writing about a BDSM experience I had quite a while ago and spent some time research BDSM.  Tangentially, I've had chasers message me who want to be "force pozzed" (which sounds like a variant of classic CNC R-play).

CNC seems considered a bit of the "black sheep" of BDSM - a core tenet of BDSM is consent, whereas CNC role-plays a lack of consent, even though from what I've read, the parties involved have consented to the CNC roll play.

My experience with BDSM involved very structured conversations around limits, non-negotiables, having a safe-word, commitments from the Dom about my safety, etc.  I was used and my limits were met, but it wasn't CNC - I had agreed to proceed up to some very extreme points

In questions below I'm going to say that the DOM = R'ist = violator and the SUB = violated, victim

1. Is CNC more for the benefit of the Dom, and the Sub is playing the role to satisfy the Dom?  If it were me, I'd think it much easier to believe the scenario of I were the Dom.  I think I could act the role of the Sub, but I don't think I could get myself to the point where I believed or felt like it was R happening to me.  
2. Are there safe words used in CNC?
3. Can CNC be done with random hookups?  How does this work?  How do you R someone without coordination/prior awareness?  I see a lot of bottoms who want to live out the R fantasy but I wanna know how that would work.
4. Is it just a roll playing thing for both Dom and Sub?
5. Is "forced pozzing" a form of CNC?  As it's been described to me by chasers, this the chaser saying to the guy "yes, I'll come hook up with you" but then the Dom forces the Sub to take a infectious load and forcing him to convert.  This isn't my jam at all, but I do always wonder if this is some type of escapism for the chaser where they have deniability they actually wanted to convert.  So it may be different than CNC.

Anyone gotten in to this?  

 

[Leatherman667]

What is CNC?

[PozToxVersPig]

14 minutes ago, Leatherman667 said:

What is CNC?

[think before following links] https://domsubliving.com/bdsm-cnc-kink-consensual-non-consent/

[leatherpunk16]

6 hours ago, Leatherman667 said:

What is CNC?

Cookies N Cream

(I am SO not helpful.)

[Leatherman667]

5 hours ago, PozToxVersPig said:

[think before following links] [think before following links] https://domsubliving.com/bdsm-cnc-kink-consensual-non-consent/

Thanks for this. 

[PozToxVersPig]

7 minutes ago, leatherpunk16 said:

Cookies N Cream

(I am SO not helpful.)

Ya know what though @leatherpunk16 - this made me laugh out loud....seriously.

[norefusal]

well, it's good that we all get to do what works for us and not be restricted by rules set for others. 

for me, this isn't such a black sheep. BDSM is largely CNC. other than maybe a bar fight, when else are we like "ok, now you hit me hard and i'm gonna enjoy it" 😜

i do it w friends where we pretend they break in to the house not realizing i'm home n napping. they then tie me up and "force" me to bottom for them. the only time ive used my safe word is one time one of them got a bit too eager w the taser on my nuts. 

anyways, the whole CNC thing is up for interpretation imho. i've had peeps on here tell me getting really rough fucked isn't CNC and honestly i don't see the difference. is it verbal rape talk? because most actual rape doesn't come w verbal "i'm raping you" talk. 

this one dl str8 guy that sometimes rough fucks me if i'm blindfolded fucks me so angrily it sure feels like CNC to me. but rape is in the eye of the victim. and if it feels like i'm getting raped but i'm enjoying it, who's to say it's not CNC just because it didn't fit some rule i don't know about. 

[PozToxVersPig]

Four different sites referred to it as "the black sheep" or "controversial and not widely accepted" fringe part of BDSM....I didn't make it up.

I was simply asking questions seeking to understand.  I hope it didn't come off like I was restricting via my rules.  That's not the case.

[norefusal]

7 minutes ago, PozToxVersPig said:

Four different sites referred to it as "the black sheep" or "controversial and not widely accepted" fringe part of BDSM....I didn't make it up.

I was simply asking questions seeking to understand.  I hope it didn't come off like I was restricting via my rules.  That's not the case.

not at all. i'm just saying for me personally i don't see the fuss. but i get that so much of sexual assault is subjective including difference of opinion between the two involved as to weather it was consensual or not. 

strictly speaking you could say my sat night wasn't CNC because we didn't discuss it beforehand. i also suppose my letting him come back for more is consent. and the follow up DMs of "come back anytime" wouldn't help a case 😜

but i'm probably a bdsm weirdo anyways because i'm most turned on by the nonconcentual stuff. 😈