[Breeder] Open Forum Friday: Cleaning Out

[TheBreeder]

To see Breeder's original blog post click here

I'm going to name-drop, here. Bear with me. It'll pass quickly, and then we'll get to the topic for our open forum.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my friend, porn actor Jayson Park. I've plugged his thoughtful and well-written blog before, and I'll encourage you all to go and vote for him as Best Porn Star in the Cybersocket Surfer's Choice Awards. (If I'm not getting nominated for Best Sex Blog, it'd be nice to have one of Breeder's Readers win something, right?) Anyway. He and I were chatting about various things, and we happened on the subject of cleanliness and anal sex.

"I don't like making big sweeping generalizations about groups of people," he said to me. "Especially tops. But it always seems to me like tops don't have to do as much to prepare for a fuck. Not compared to us bottoms."

"No," I assured him. "You're totally right. I figure if my teeth are brushed and my breath smells nice, the rest of me doesn't stink, all I need to do is rinse off my dick and I'm good to go."

Which is not to say, by the way, that tops aren't without responsibilities and pressures of our own. We have to keep our dicks rigid for the duration, for example—something a bottom doesn't have to worry about. We're expected to know how to handle a bottom guy, which can be off-putting for guys wanting to top but don't have much experience. From some bottoms, we're under pressure to say the right things, hit the right buttons, follow every cue. But cleanliness isn't generally near the top of anyone's list of the tough things about topping.

I expressed to Jayson something that really doesn't get said enough, not by me, not by many tops in general. I truly do recognize and appreciate all the extra effort a bottom goes through in order to prepare for a fuck. The effort the good and thoughtful ones take, anyway.

We've discussed in this blog and in my comments before how the spread of easily-available pornography may have prompted the current taste for squeaky-clean assholes during fucking. Enemas and comprehensive douching certainly weren't the norm when I started having sex in the nineteen-seventies, at least not in the backwater town where I was growing up. I was lucky to have one of those holes that wasn't particularly dirty under most circumstances; the most I had to do in order to prepare for marathon fucks was hop in the shower, soap up the outside of the hole, and maybe insert a wet finger a couple of inches in and wiggle it around a bit. Maybe.

And of course these days, men go to much greater lengths to clean out before a fuck. They buy enema bulbs and install nozzles onto their showers. They go through cleansing rituals that can last for an hour or more. I've been through them myself, from time to time. Oddly, though I never seem to mind the noises and the smells when they're coming from someone else, when I've had to do it, I've found it embarrassing. It's a mortification of the flesh, essentially, and while it's happening I'm usually shuddering and pulling faces and wishing that I was anywhere but in that shower, or on that john, or bent over with my belly full and aching and with water shooting out of my backside.

No, there aren't any pics. Pervs.

So bottoms of the world, trust me. When I say I appreciate what you go through to clean up for me, I mean it. It's the reason I show up when we've made a date in advance, because I know you've built the time to clean out into that day's schedule. It's why I understand and accommodate when you need me to come over in ninety minutes, rather than the fifteen it would actually take me to get there. It's why I understand your massive frustration when you've made a date with another top and he's stood you up—it's not just because you need the dick in your hole, but also because you've made a pretty significant investment of time, effort, and a measure of personal humiliation, even before you found out he wouldn't be coming.

It's why, when I'm presented with a fresh-smelling and soapy ass, I really like to show my appreciation. It's why I love to rim and bite and get in there and make the hole sing before I lube up and thrust my meat deep inside you. You guys flatter me when you take the time and effort to clean up for me like that. I don't take it for granted. I want you to realize that, every time we meet.

I'm curious about the attitudes of others, though. Bottom men—is cleaning embarrassing and unpleasant for you, or is it a no-big-deal kind of thing? Do you find that most tops take your efforts for granted, and if so, how do you feel about it? Or don't you clean out at all?

And tops, how about you guys? Do you think about how clean the bottoms are when you're in them, and the steps they've taken to get that way? Or is cleanliness not quite the issue for you as it is for them?

I'm willing to bet there's a lot about the other side that both perspectives take for granted. It never hurts to open our eyes and think about things, right?

More...

[wammt]

I hope that you don't mind, but I reproduced this post to the 'Kinky Enemas' group at NastyKinkPigs.

The same thoughts have occurred to me.

[evilqueerpig]

Being versatile, I'll offer my 2 cents for both positions. In bottom mode, I do a thorough cleanout, unless I'm asked not to. Yes, there are tops who are turned on by being in a hole that's less than clean. As a top, I merely let the bottoms know that any "roadblocks" I encounter will be licked clean.

[Belfast-Bottom]

I've been having sex since the mid 80s when douching wasn't even on the radar of most guys in Europe. Tops put up with a little mud ( as they had for thousands of years ). It was Tops who washed their bits after a fuck. Bottoms only bothered if there was some outer "mess" that a tissue couldn't tackle, or they were expecting to be rimmed. None of the great homos of history had clean butts to fuck, as douche/enemas just weren't around.

I agree that the increasing availability of video porn from the 80s onwards created a climate where gay bottoms wanted to be like the guys on film. Video directors didn't want shit apearing in their films - so douching became the industry standard. It has become the expected standard in the wider gay community now. I always douche before a fuck unless the Top makes it clear he doesn't want me to, but it can take up to an hour and perhaps as many as five rinses ( on a difficult day ). I'm glad that some Tops appreciate the effort involved and understand why bottoms can't always hook up in 15 minutes.

[Bicycledude]

When I am clean, I enjoy the fuck much more. Before I started cleaning out, my hole got sore fast. The top can go as long as he wants when my hole is clean.

[slowfuck]

To see Breeder's original blog post click here

I was lucky to have one of those holes that wasn't particularly dirty under most circumstances; the most I had to do in order to prepare for marathon fucks was hop in the shower, soap up the outside of the hole, and maybe insert a wet finger a couple of inches in and wiggle it around a bit. Maybe.

More...

Likewise when I was young back in the 80s. Maybe the change of diet since those days to more refined foods with less decent fibre has made things messier. But that was all we did back then.

I've changed my diet to be avoid the factory-baked and supermarket bread, and eat less processed, fatty and sugary foods and everything is cleaner. I still douche with a bulb though but I only have to do it once or maybe twice and the waste water is clean.

I hate to be dirty, and I very much appreciate bottoms who are clean for me, though I do understand from personal experience if there are accidents as I have been there and done that myself!

I suspect most guys who comment here - except for the scat fetishists - are likely to be studious about cleanliness. A lot of the more naiive youngsters and new-to-it bi guys seem to have less of a clue and seem to follow the wipe and finger cleansing process if you're lucky.

Edited March 31, 2012 by slowfuck

[Top4CumSwop]

Fully agree @Bicycledude, prefer to have my hole nice and clean...allows me to be fucked for as long and hard as possible...I am def not into scat and hate the smell of it during fucking...find it a turn off...love knowing my hole is clean and when done that it will be loaded with a hot load which allows me to fingure my hole and eat the tops cum from my arse.... ;-)

[fillmyhole]

just discovered a fast and fun way to clean out. i lay on my side in the bath tub and position my open hole right over one of the jets. i love the feeling and watching my belly swell, take a few hits of poppers to expand my bowels to my limit then sit on toilet to expell.. this is good to do monthly just for colon health , expand the bowel, clean out crevices of crud and toxins..

[spermdumpster]

I've been a bottom since I was 14 in the 70's. My masters taught me right away to have my asshole flushed out until it was clean all the way up. When I was young I could take 3 or 4 deep, full enemas, followed by a couple of final rinses, about 20 minutes maybe to be clean enough to take any fuck given all night and suck cocks out of my hole and eat cum out of my hole. Three and a half decades later, I still clean my ass deeply and completely before taking fuck up my ass (considerably more worn than it once was) because I still luv sucking everything that comes out of my faggot asshole. Only now it can take me two hours and twenty deep enemas for me to get absolutly clean. I actually get turned on taking big enemas and luv it when men assist me or let me kneel behind them and give them deep enemas that they will blow out on me. It can get dirty, but it ends clean enough to dine out of.

[einathens]

i prefer a cleaner hole, both to have myself and to find waiting for me.

shit happens, but 5 minutes of prep time can prevent a mudslide.

i'm not a compensated endorser, but i gotta plug the streen master mini. hand-sized bulb, two nozzles (long & skinny, short & thick), travel bag included. got mine through fort troff. best $10 i ever spent.

i find that 2 bulbs of warm soapy will take care of 95% of the potential mess. it's a manageable amount of water in a short amount of time, and no cramping from taking too much.

and the thicker nozzle is great for applying lube, too. i just greae up the outside and slide it in. can also double as a butt toy if you're in need of penetration and there's no man in the room.

[Bear4Breeding]

I agree with just about everything everyone has said about the bottom cleaning out. Also want to thank those tops who appreciate the fact that us bottoms take that time to clean out, with the exception of the scat folks. Personally when I topped more, I still cleaned out my hole. The main reason I do is I dated a truelly vers guy back in the early 2000's and well even if I was fucking him that night, he still enjoyed eating ass so it was a requirment for sex regardless who was taking the dick that night. I also do a lite clean every morning, just because I like the feeling of the cleanliness it producess over just the tissue. But for sex I can take up to an hour or more depending on how well things go during. I've had guys who during a particularlly difficult clean out process, I've told I would be later then expected and when asked why and i told them why, they where very understanding and some even thank'd me.

So as a bottom to the tops, I know most of you don't take the clean out steps and for most its probably okay, but if the bottom is a rimmer like myself, take the time to do it so that We/I can shove our tounges deep in your holes too.