Writing has been a part of me for a long time now. I wasn’t particularly good at English—I remember struggling with grammar the most. Like most stereotypical Asian kids, I was particularly good at math and science, and those were the subjects I chose going into high school and beyond. Math only has one correct answer, which comforted me, while there really isn’t a right or wrong answer when it comes to English essays. That often frightened me.

When I got my first job working at a yogurt shop, I took it upon myself to write weekly newsletters for the staff to update them on what was happening. I often got praised for the effort by my manager, which went a long way in building my confidence with writing. One day, I decided to do something about my lack of grammar skills, so I went and bought a grammar book—and you wouldn’t believe it, I actually liked it. A lot. It listed rules on when and where to use things like commas, em dashes, and quotation marks, and it helped improve my writing immensely.

It wasn’t until I started reading lots of children’s literature, particularly A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, that I began to understand something important: rules, like most things in life, are meant to be broken. Snicket had a particular knack for doing his own thing, for bending the rules of grammar to suit his style and voice. That was so captivating to me that I began changing the way I wrote myself. I started using more commas—particularly run-on sentences, which are always a no-no in the world of literature—but I love it. I put way too many commas in my sentences.

A long time ago, I read a book about mastery that explained how everyone starts off as an apprentice. At some point in your learning, you reach a stage where you’re no longer simply doing what you’ve been told. You can experiment and start changing the course of history with new and innovative techniques. I like to think I’m at that stage now—taking words and sentences and bending them to my will. It’s sloppy at times, and for the most part, I’m sure it doesn’t even make sense.

A parent once told me they’re just making things up as they go—parenting, that is—and I feel the same way with my writing sometimes. I’m making things up on the spot and hoping that it sticks, like spaghetti on the wall. And you know it’s good when it does.