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Last week i went to a gay sauna to meet an old married daddy who had a profile on Grindr looking for sub married bottom to suck his thick meat and get fucked with condom. We agreed to meet at the gay sauna because we are both married and cant host . When we got inside an empty room, we quickly dropped off our towels then he ordered me to get down on my knees to sniff his sweaty ripe cock, balls and rim his hairy asshole while he was loading up his glass pipe with white crystals then started taking hit after hit. He then pulled me up to give me take hit after the pipe was reloading. Despite my refusal for not taking any drugs due to the fact that I have to pick up my youngest daughter at the childcare later . But what I didn't know that he had an other plan to get me wired up and high. As he was rimming and fingering my asshole, he secretly pushed his wet finger coated with tina into my dry cunt hole. As discussed before the meeting that he would fuck me with rubber and i don't want to pnp but when I actually hooked up with him I was turned into a drugged up raw whore against my will. He started fucking my asshole with his covered thick cock and only used small amount of his spits as lube . At first I was struggling to accept his powerful cock but he was kind enough to make me snort amyl even though I'm not big fan of sniffling that shit. He made me laid down on my tummy then he climbed on top of me using his weight to pin me down and fucked me senselessly and taking dirty in my ears saying that I'm his filthy sub pig , how much he loves fucking cheating and unfaithful married daddy's asshole . During the rough fucking he took off the condom without me knowing then kept going on ramping his raw meat deep inside my bare cunt. He then reached out to get the already loaded up pipe , lit it up with the touch and taking more hits while still grinding his unprotected cock into my innocent fuckhole then gave me the pipe to smoke the rest of the remaining crystals . This time I took his offers without any hesitation. He knew that i couldn't resist the magical feelings of blowing up the white clouds after I was given the booty pump earlier. I was flying hight and got fucked up totally. He then asked me to sit down on his cock. In my drugged up state I clearly saw his raw cock for the first time but I completely forgot my agreement with him that he can only fuck me safe. He looked at me with his evil eyes and smiled when he finally let me know that he actually fucked me bareback and got me all wired up and high. I was disappointed with him for not being able to keep his words but my disappointment only lasted for a few seconds after his whole cock dissapeared completely in my spunk asshole. He took control over my slutty asshole for what seemed to be long period of times ( it would have been at least 3 hours ) . He was a horny devil hung top daddy, he planned to drug me up and fuck me all bareback on the wet and dirty floor of the gay sauna that i don't consider to have sex with strangers for a first time. I ended up getting fucked up bareback and took his 2 heavy dirty loads just before my alarm went off for picking up my daughter. I called my wife to pick her up instead because I wouldn't drive when i was still under the effects of the drugs. When my hung top daddy left the room, i went straight to the glory hole booths, got in an empty one, locked the door and waited for any horny cocks that need a wet mouth or sloppy cunt hole to put through the holes on the wall. I was still hungry for cocks and cums after the long fucking session with devil daddy. I sucked two more cocks from anonymous guys, one of them was an Asian gentleman who has a decent uncut cock with white cheeses around his knob, the other was a big fatty old man with huge smelly thick cock. Both unloaded their fresh sperms in my hungry mouth and I was more than happy to swallow them down my empty stomach . Just before I was about to leave the booth, a young construction guy still in his dirty uniform went in the booth and looked the door. He was so damn sexy and good looking. He squashed down to look through the hole and when he saw me all naked and my hard big cock, he asked me to slide my cock through the hole and hungrily sucked on my cock. After a short time indulging himself on my meat, he dropped his pant dowm to his ankles and offered me to taste his juicy manly cock. He then turned around, brought his hairy asshole to the hole and i knew actually what he wanted. I used my hands to pull his ass cheeks wide open, his pinky asshole had a strong sweaty ripe scent. I don't usually play with dirty smelly assholes but weird enough i stuck my nose right into his cunt hole , take long deep sniffling one after an other then gradually gave his shithole a good rimming with my tongue and slided my fingers into his cunt hole to stretch it open wider for my wet tongue to do its magic works. He suggested that we should go to a private room for more privacy. How could I refuse not to play with a hot muscle young guy who is half younger than my age. When we were inside the room, he asked me if Im married daddy because he saw the gold band on my finger. I confirmed him that I am bi vers daddy with 2 young daughters . He said that am I ok to play with a total gay guy who is in long and steady relationship with an older mature gay guy. I told him that it's one of my fantasy to have sex with gay guy who has partner but loves to fuck around as i do fuck around behind my gf . He owns a great good looking 8" cock and an asshole that makes me as a sub bottom daddy wouldn't resist the temptation to fuck him. We took turns to suck our cocks and rimmed our assholes. When he tasted some cums in my asshole he asked how many loads i took, i answered more than 2 from a pervert dirty old man who i met on Grindr and an mature guy at the glory hole before he arrived. He got so excited by the facts that i was drugged up by the hung top daddy , got fucked bareback and took loads unwillingly - he rammed his unprotected cock into my sloppy cunt without any lubricant and of course without my resistance. His awesome gorgeous big cock pounded my cumdump hole so rough and deep as if he was taking revenge on his cheating boyfriend. He forced me to sniff his sweaty ripe pits, sniffing his smelly asshole, swallowed his spits and tongue bath his whole body. I was in heaven for being the useless piece of shit for this horny muscle young gay guy who in real life i could have paid him big bucks to have sex with him but it was my great luck to be his sex machine just because I'm bi married bottom daddy and I am a big dirty kinky cumdump. I asked him if I could fuck him for a while but he said NO because he wasn't prepared to be bottom even though he was obsessed with it when we were playing in the glory hole booth before. I kept on asking him, convincing him, begging him to let me sink my married cock into his gorgeous pussy hole because i knew that it turns him on big time to get fucked by a cock that gets my gf pregnant twice. Eventually he gave up his slutty asshole to my horny daddy's big cock. I fucked him missionary style because i love seeing his gorgeous face's impressions while he takes my raw cock up in his cheating asshole and tell him how much of a good slut he is for daddy's big cock and how much i love impregnate him, how exciting it is to send him home to his longtime partner with his asshole full of my babies. My messy slimy cock was happy to penetrate this young muscle slut knowing that he is a great cumdump pig as i am . We are both in a steady relationships but we love playing the fields and love fucking around , talking loads then go home to our partners at the end of the day and have intimate moments together with them . I would love pnp fucking with a gay couple when the top's cock is smaller than mine and his partner convinces him to take my cock in a sandwich fuck 😋

Part I It was about midway through my sophomore year in college. I had started having sex with guys the year before and had a fair amount of experience, but had always been very strict about condoms. At the time I had a boyfriend who I had known since we started college together. We'd been together for about 6 months, and although we weren't officially exclusive, it was somewhat implied. Despite this I still spent time on hookup apps looking for "friends" and occasionally "fun." One particularly warm summer day I was feeling incredible horny and was being a little more aggressive looking for sex on the apps than usual. I hadn't been fucked by my BF in over a week, and really needed some dick. I had texted him earlier, but he was non-committable about being available. Eventually I came across a guy named Jared, we exchanged pics and stats. He was 22, 6', 170lbs, and from the pics he sent had a nice 7.5" uncut dick. He had dark somewhat Italian features. After a few messages he mentioned that he also had a friend, Oscar, who he would JO with, and they were wanting to try fucking a guy together. I had done a three-way once with my BF, but never with two tops. Any part of me which would normally be hesitant was overcome by my libido that day. We talked about his friend and he sent me more pics. His friend was 21, 5'11, 170lbs, and had a 8" dick, also uncut. He looked to be Latin, but we never actually talked about race. After a bit more back and forth, we agreed to meet at Jared's place. It was on the other side of the campus, and would take me about 15 min to walk there. As I was about to leave Jared asked if they could fuck me raw, and I told them I couldn't do that, and would only play safe. I had never been fucked raw before, and certainly wasn't up for it from two guys I'd never met before. I thought that might end the encounter before it happened, but he agreed to use condoms and asked if I would bring them or if they should use his. Being a poor college student I asked if we could use his and that seemed to settle that. After walking across campus, I arrived at Jared's apartment. Oscar was already there sitting on the couch, and I got the impression from the budge in his pants they may have been watching porn and stroking before I got there. They both greeted me with big smiles. The three of use seemed to stammer around about whether we should sit on the couch together or go straight to the bedroom. Trying to cut the sexual tension, Jared pointed to the bedroom, and we all headed there. I laid down in the middle of the bed, with Jared on my left, straddling my leg, and Oscar doing the same on my right. We started making out. As I took turns kissing both of them, slowly clothing started to come off. I was lying in my briefs and they took off their pants together and laid back down on either side. For the first time I clearly felt both of their dicks on my thighs through their boxers. I slowly reached down and starting stroking Oscar's dick as I kissed Jared. After a short time though Oscar gentle pushed my hand away, and I realized he was already getting worked up. I switched, and starting stroking Jared. They were both hard as steal, with Jared's dick feeling slightly thicker, and Oscar's slight longer. My head was swimming at the thought they would soon be inside me. "Fuck you're sexy as hell," moaned Jared as he started to slide his fingers down my leg, inside my briefs, and towards my hole. I moaned a bit as his fingers first grazed it. "Damn you're super tight." He looked at me somewhat mischievously. "I'll have to open you up a bit before you're ready to take us." With that he reach down and slide off my briefs, and gently turned my hips so that I flipped onto my stomach. He pulled me down a bit towards the end of the bed, and Oscar moved from my side to in front of me, with his crotch directly in my face. I felt Jared's mouth go between my butt checks and his tongue found my hole. I had only been rimmed a few times, but never with his level of skill. He started working his tongue into my hole, getting me wet and slowly opening me up. As this was happening I reach up and starting stroking Oscar again through his underwear, slowly cupping his large balls, and working up his shaft. He quickly pull down the waist of the last of his clothing giving me a full view of his rock hard dick. "You like it?" "Fuck yes." I agreed quickly. I started to suck on his dick, prompting him to lean his head back and moan. His dick had a slight downward curve, which made it very easy for me to swallow it down to his pubes. I deep throated him a bit, but this again seemed to get him a little too excited, and he pulled me up, so he could cool down a bit. This repeated itself a few times, as I sucked Oscar, and Jared rimmed me. All of Jared's attention to my hole was starting to pay off as I opened up. "Do you think you're ready for a dick" He asked "Yea, Definitely." I agree. With that he moved up and I felt him laid on my back. At this point he still had his boxers still on, and I felt his dick through them pushing between my check. He quickly removed his boxers and I then felt his dick sliding between my checks. "Ready for it?" He ask again. "Yea, you have the condoms?" I seemed to disappoint him a bit that I was still insisting on condoms. "Yea, I have them right here, ready to go." He reached and I saw him pull out a condom wrapper. I started to turn around and saw him holding the tip with one hand and rolling it down his dick with another. Oscar then turn my head back to his dick and I started sucking him him again, as Jared started lubing up my hold and his dick. Shortly, I felt the head of his dick pushing on my hole, and after meeting some resistant his head slide it. He dick was thicker than I was used to and my head shot up from Oscar's dick, and I tried to relax and take the rest of Jared's. "Its ok, you can handle it". Jared tried to coax me. Slowly he lowered himself down, pushing each thick inch of himself into me. I felt his low hanging balls come to rest against my own, as he held his dick still deep inside. "Fuck you're tight as hell." "Go slow, ok?" "As slow as you like, but don't forget about him." He responded and he guided my head back to Oscar's dick. I started sucking Oscar again, and Jared started taking sort deep thrusts, seeming to test my hole. This continued for a few minutes, and his thrusts became longer, and quicker, until he was nearly pulling out entirely before thrusting back in me deep. He was able to get a few of these deep thrusts in before i felt him thrust in and hold his dick inside me. "Fuck, you're getting me close already." Ah, to be 22. "Time to switch up." Oscar seemed ready to get inside me as well. With that Jared lied back down on my side, and I flipped back over to my back. Oscar got up and took position between my legs, grabbing a condom, and applying it to his dick as Jared had... Holding the tip with one hand. After lubing up he found my hole, and starting to slide in. I took him easier than Jared, who was thicker, and it wasn't long before Oscar was thrusting into me with slow deep strokes. I looked over, and Jared was stroking the head of his dick, with the condom still visible on his shaft. Oscar leaned down and starting to kiss me as he fucked me, slowing his thrusts as he did so. "You're pussy is getting me close." He stopped thrusting for a second, holding his dick inside. "Fuck I'm gonna cum." He immediate started thrusting into me hard, unable to hold back his load. He pushed my legs to my chest and start to deeply thrust into me. After a few more deep thrusts he held his dick deep in my hold, and I felt his dick start to twitch hard inside of me. "I'm cumming." he moaned into my ear as his head was pushed against my shoulder Its my first memory of actually feeling a top's dick twitch inside me as he came. It caught me by surprise and I grabbed his ass pulling him in as deeply as I could. I felt a warm sensation deep in my gut as his dick continued to twitch hard against the walls of my hole. I was surprised how long his orgasm last. He must had been really worked up. Slowly he seemed to relax on top of me and I felt his dick start to soften in my hole. I leaned up, and started to slide his dick out of me. "Fuck the condom broke." He said somewhat sheepishly. I was shocked to look down and see the condom split down the middle like a banana peal, only the ring at the end still firmly on his dick. He slide a finger inside of me as I realized I had just taken his load. "You felt so good." I was trying to process what had just happened. Part of me was scared to have cum from a guy I had just met inside me. At the same time, realizing the warm pressure deep in my hole was his cum made me only hornier. "Are you ok?" Asked Jared, still stroking his dick at the tip. It didn't occur to me at the time, that they had planned this, but in retrospect, everything from asking if I would bring my own condoms, to how they put them on and held the tips so I couldn't see the end of the condom seemed to indicate they had planned to stealth me the whole time. "Yea its cool" was the best I could respond to everything happening. Oscar dropped back to my side, and removed what remained of his condom. Jared then slide his hand between my thighs, and starting fingering my hole. "Damn you have his load inside you, that's so fucking hot." "I've never done that before...." "You've never taken a load of cum in your pussy??" "No never...." "How does it feel?" I hesitated to respond. Conflicted between my long standing preference for safe sex, and the amazing feeling overcoming me. Jared slide his finger deep into me. "Damn, that's a lot of cum." "Yea, I shot a massive fucking load, it was huge." Oscar chimed in. "How does it feel?" Jared asked again "Actually it feels really good." I admitted This seemed to rev up Jared. "Yea, you like having his big load deep in your pussy?" "I fucking love it." I responded without even thinking or quite realizing what I was saying. "Yea, that's so hot, you're knock up now, you got his babies inside of you." My head was swimming. "Can I still fuck you some more?" Jared asked as he continued to stroke his dick. "Yes." I responded quickly. With that Jared turned me on my side. Facing Oscar, I started to make out with him again. He was a very hot guy, and the idea I had his cum inside me drove me crazy. Jared started to line his dick up to enter me, I turned around to see him slip off his condom which looked like it had been cut in half right at the tip. He looked me right in the eye as his slide his now bare dick in my wet hole. "Fuuuck, you feel amazing." He moaned, closing his eyes and starting to thrust in me. Oscar turned my head back to him and started kissing me again. Jared's thrust were deep. He gripped my hip with his left hand and reach his right around my chest to hold me in place. "You like feeling my load in his pussy." Oscar broke our kiss to ask. "Oh my god, it feels amazing." Jared remarked back. With that Jared and Oscar started to make out over me. Oscar reach his hand down to finger my hole and Jared's dick as our fuck continued. Jared's thrusts started to speed up, and get harder and harder. "Fuck I'm getting close." (I could already tell.) "You want my load too?...." I did, badly. But hesitated to respond. "Dude, I'm about to cum, can I shoot in you." "Please." He started to beg. "Yea, cum in me." "Yea, you want my load, my nut in you?" He pressed "Yes." I admitted. "Tell me you want my cum." "I want your cum." "Yea, you do." "Fuck I want it so bad, I want that big load deep in me." I barely understood where the word were coming from. That sent him over the edge, and he thrust deep into me. Oscar reach around and pulled Jared towards him pressing our three bodies tight together. I felt Jared's thick dick start to jump inside me, and his warm cum flooding my hole and mixing with Oscar's cum already in me. "Fuuuuuuuuuuccckkk...." He practically screamed. His orgasm continued as his emptied his load into me. Eventually I felt his body relax against my own, and we lied there together, Jared's dick in me, and Oscar against my body in the front. After I while we started to untangle ourselves. Jared slowly withdrew from inside me, and Oscar started to get dressed. "That was fucking amazing." Jared said as he also started to get dressed. Once he had his t shirt and boxers on he jumped back into bed and slowly opened my legs and started fingering my hole. "Fuck you're not even leaking, so hot you have our loads in you." He reached his finger deep "Fuck that's a lot of cum." "Yea I can feel it." "We'll breed you anytime you want man." Oscar smiled and winked. "Ok, Nice." I stammered. With that I started to get dressed myself. Before I got up though, i reached down in my underwear and slide a finger up my hole, feeling past the initial tightness, there seemed to be a new compartment filled with viscous cum. My head continued to swim as I play with their loads in my pussy. "Damn, I think he likes it." Said one of them. I lifted myself off of the bed and looked around. They led me to the door kissed me and grabbed my ass as I left... I could still feel their loads in me as I walked home. By the time I got home I was even more horny than when I left. As I walked I was surprise to find my BF sitting on my couch. He would often come by, so I tried not to act to surprised. I worried that he would smell cum, lube, and the other guys' on me. Part II "Still need to get fucked?" He asked as I remembered I had texted him earlier. "Yea, just let me use the bathroom first." I rushed to the bathroom and started the shower. I scrubbed up and down quickly, grabbed a towel and dried off. I felt clean on the outside, but still knew I had cum from two guys in my hole. I reached around and my hole felt wet and open despite the shower. I knew I should push it out before I let my BF fuck me, but the cum felt so good I didn't want to loose it. My BF had always fucked me with a condom, so I figured he wouldn't notice if there was cum in my hole... At Least I hoped. I walked out of the bathroom in a towel. He had moved from the couch to my bed and was clearly waiting for me. "All clean and ready for me now?" He beamed from the bed. "Yes, definitely." I replied. I climbed into bed with him and we started making out. He kisses felt familiar and warm, so distinct from what I had done earlier with Oscar and Jared. My towel came off quickly, followed by his pants. He rolled me on my back and we started making out in the missionary position, me completely naked and him in a tee shirt and boxers. My mind kept jumping between him and what I had done earlier in the day. I tried to focus on him, but the warm tight feeling of cum in my hole kept drawing me back to the earlier fucks. Slowly his cloths came off and he kneeled between my legs his 7" cut dick sticking out hard. "This is what you've been waiting for all day?" "Yeah." I worried I didn't express enough enthusiasm. But he seemed satisfied. We again starting making out, now completely naked, his hard dick against by groin and occasionally rubbing down between my legs almost to my hole. It was at that moment that I realized I wanted him to fuck me bare too. It was something we hadn't seriously discussed before and I had never really felt the need to have him in me bare. But, my mind kept flashing back those two moments earlier when I felt Oscar and then Jared cumming inside me, and I wanted more. He reach down to my hole and started to finger me. "Have you been playing with your hole today?" He asked, somewhat curious. "Uh yea." I stammered, a brief flash of fear as I realized he could tell my hole felt different today. "Damn you really have been super horny today." "Yea, I was watching porn, and playing with it." Seeming satisfied he returned to fingering me and making out. I reached down and started stoking him. I back up on the bed just enough to give me enough room to pull his dick down between my butt checks and across my hole. "Damn, you are ready to go! Do you want me to fuck you now?" Usually we'd make out a bit longer and suck each other before getting to the fucking, but he could tell that today i was moving things along. "Yes Please." I grinned. He reached over to the bed stand and pulled out lube and a condoms. Part of me sank knowing that he intended to fuck me with latex covering his dick. I thought about asking if he wanted to try without it, but was also terrified he would feel the loads I already had inside me. This craving for raw dick and cum was so new, I didn't know how to reconcile it with our usual sex. He slide the condom on and proceeded to lube up my hole and his covered dick. Giving me a mischievous smile as he did so. He slide in my hole with easy and began thrusting, working into his usual rhythm and lowering his lips to meet mine as he fucked me. "Wow you're really opened up today." "Yea, I was really playing with it all day, it still feels good, right?" "Of course, you always feel good." He smiled back. He worked my hole, alternating his speed and force. I could tell at times he was starting to edge and backing off. All I could think though was how much I wanted him to take off the condom. He must have sensed that something was off and I wasn't as into it as ussual. "You're enjoying it, right?" He sounded a little worried "Yea of course. Are you? Can we take a little break though?" "Yea, sure. I was starting to get close, but its cool." He slowly pulled his dick out of me. I felt a few drops of cum leak out and down my crack as he did so, but he didn't seem to notice that. His dick was rock hard and his balls were drawn tight against his body. I felt bad because it looks like he really was ready to cum. He lied next to me, and i reached over and pulled off the condom and slowly started to stroke him. "Uh, wait, but you still want me to fuck you more, right." He was confused. "Yea, I just wanted to stroke you a bit first." "Ok..." He seemed worried he wouldn't get to fuck me more. "Everything ok?" He continued. At that point, I wanted his cum so bad, I couldn't hold back. "Would you want to try fucking me without the condom?" I tried ask as casually as I could. "Ugh, well I've never done that before... Is that what you want, have you ever done it?" "No." I replied almost instinctively, not even realizing I was lying. "But I've been thinking about it, and it really sounds hot to me." Looking back, it seems crazy that we had been together for almost 6 months without talking about barebacking. "I guess we can try, but I don't think I'll last very long." He hesitate a beat, almost wanting to ask another question. "That's ok, we can just take it slow." I tried to reassure him. He climbed back between my legs and on top of me, reaching for the lube to apply a new layer to his now bare dick. I could tell he was nervous this time, i remembered back to the first time we fucked. I put my legs around his waist and pulled him a little closer as he lined up his dick again. "Ready?" "Yes." He slipped the head of his dick into my hole, slowly sliding in deeper. I swear I could feel the moment his dick slipped deep enough to meet the chamber of cum I already was carrying around. He continued in until I felt his balls against my wet crack. He took a deep breath. "Wow." "You like it?" "Yea you feel amazing. I just need a second or I'll cum." We started to make out again, him holding he bare dick in me deep. After a few minutes he started with some deep short thrusts as he got used to the new feeling of a bare cum filled hole around his dick. He worked back into a rhythm, unable to get to the same speed and force without pulling back to stop himself from cumming. He was able to control himself well though, and I was absolutely in heaven as he fucked me. He continued to fuck and edge for about another 15 minutes. "I don't know how much longer, I can hold out before I cum." He was clearly on the edge. "Ok, just let me know." I kissed him back. "Um, well, what do you want me to do when I shoot?.." I realized he didn't know how to ask if it was ok to cum in me. "Just keep fucking me." He hesitated again. "Ok, so I'll cum inside you?" "Yea." He hesitated another moment, and instinctively I squeezed his dick with my hole. This elicited a gasp, and he immediately started thrusting into me deep. His thrusts now were less controlled as he was quickly reaching the point of no return. "I'm going to cum." He announced "Yea? Cum in me, shoot that big load." He started fucking harder. Hammering my hole as hard as he could. "I'm cumming." He moaned as he made one last strong thrust into me and held his dick deep. He continued to moan as he started to explode deep inside of me. He dick was spasming hard, and I could feel each jump of his dick flooding me with rope after rope of his warm cum. He collapsed on top of me, my legs still around his waist and his dick still buried in my now flooded pussy. I felt his dick slowly start to soften, giving it a little squeeze here and there, always prompting another small gasp and deep twitch from him. Eventually his dick became soft enough that it slide out of me. He returned to laying next to me. "Did you like it?" I ask "Yea, it felt great." He seemed a little out of place and got up to start getting dressed. I walked him to the door, and we kissed goodbye. It took him a little while to get used to fucking me bareback, but we never used a condom again.

The first time I ever heard about intentional HIV transmission was on American network TV, in an episode of Law & Order from the late 90s. It wasn’t porn. It wasn’t even gay. But still something stuck in my sex-fueled 14 y/o mind about it. Throughout my teens and 20s, I tried to have “normal” relationships with “normal” guys. I knew I “wasn’t supposed to” be turned on by HIV, but the thoughts kept coming back on their own. They made me super horny. I tried to repress this part of me, but it kept asserting itself. I (quietly) started bugchasing in 2013. The next year, I started dating a guy who told me about a new thing called PrEP. He wanted both of us to start Truvada, and I reluctantly agreed. Then we broke up. I stopped Truvada and I never returned to using condoms. I imply dropped my presumptions about how I was “supposed to” act. I paid attention to my body's reactions, and embraced the thoughts behind them. Slowly the poz scene became the most powerful sexual attraction I could find. I accepted that as part of my nature. I no longer feel conflicted, and I'm much happier (and hornier) for it.

So recently my sex drive has returned with a vengeance, after about a year of basically low-to-no libido I thought my sex drive would never be at 30 what it was in my mid 20's, even though I know plenty of older guys with higher sex drives than younger friends I thought that's how it would work for me. I entered a relationship and was happy with love over lust. My interest in older men tapered to an interest in slightly older men, comparatively (Mid 30's to mid 40's/50) Over the Summer I had one or two disappointing hook-ups, one with a guy who turned out to be a tweaker. And those experiences where with me as top. I was in need of a fuck. So I got talking to a guy from BBRT, French, 38 6'3" shaved head, dark beard, good looking slim face good body, hairy chest and shaved head. We'll call him Mika. Mika was into many of the same kinks I was, rough sex, ws, bb, etc. He seemed nice, sane, with a twisted side, the perfect meet, but for whatever reason we couldn't get in sync. He contacted me over Christmas but I wasn't feeling great about myself, not enough to fuck, and we fell out of touch for a few months. Midweek I was feeling horny and got ready for a random hook-up, something easy or vanilla to break me in. I remember being out of "fuck shape" one time before I went to Berlin, hooked up three times over there and every time it was painful(I prefer to bottom) However, in the past few weeks I had been prepping for it so I could actually enjoy a meeting and not just fuck to make porn for my future brain to masturbate to. If that makes sense. Anyway, not having a date turned out to be a problem because I was all dressed up with nowhere to go. I got on Grindr and wandered the local gay spots(all three of them) but nothing matched. I just about gave up when I remembered Mika, and hit him up on WhatsApp. He got back right away saying he had work to do and friends were coming to visit in the morning, but he'd try to get his work done quickly so that he could have a few hours "to get to know" me. I got excited, what would he want to cover in the few hours we had together, what was he like, what was he going to do? I remembered his profile on bbrt, it didn't say too much but his Recon profile gave me this to work with... == Results from bdsmtest.org == 100% Degrader 96% Voyeur 93% Exhibitionist 91% Owner 89% Primal (Hunter) 79% Experimentalist 72% Sadist 72% Rigger 64% Master/Mistress 59% Switch 57% Ageplayer 55% Dominant Just over an hour had past and he replied with his location, a ten minute walk from my apartment, perfect! I head out to his place and wait outside a set of large black gates. He comes down wearing a hoodie and tracksuit bottoms, white socks and trainers, he looks French, sleazy, hot! I'm a little nervous, we head up to his place making small talk. He offers me a beer, his apartment is cozy, tidy, nicely decorated and super clean. We sit on a leather two seater couch and chat for about 20 minutes. Just chill talk, getting to know each other, good eye contact, not once mentioning sex. Then he asks "So you like kinky sex?", "sure" I answer, only remembering we hadn't spoken in a while, that he'd probably forgotten much of our conversation. "And you're submissive?" "yep" "Good because I'm mostly dominant, I have a little bit of a submissive side but I like to top mostly" He gives me a flirty look with his eyes then inquires "Limits?... obviously no extreme pain, no blood, no shit" I nod "Sure. Other than that I'm up for whatever, I like to experiment so whatever you'd like to try on me, I like to get you off" "Great" he says with a smile. He has the heating turned up, I mention that I'm warm and he tells me to take my clothes off. I strip down to my boxers and we start to kiss, he's playful and dominant with his kissing, sometimes pulling away, sometimes sticking his tongue far down my throat, getting me to suck his tongue and biting my bottom lip. We kiss for a few minutes. He puts my hand on bulge, I stroke his dick and feel him flex it. It's a nice girth. Mika puts his hands on my neck and pushes my head down to groin, so I put my mouth around the bulge and jerk him slowly, he then pulls his dick out, it's larger than average with a big thick head. He slowly strokes his from the base upwards until I drop of precum forms on the tip. "Open your mouth and stick out your tongue" he says calmly, I comply. He starts smacking my tongue with his dick, and sliding the tip into my mouth. I'm getting super turned on at this point, his pants and shirt come off, I strip. I start giving him a blowjob, he lets out moans that let me know I'm doing a good job, I try to take him all the way down my throat but the angle is slightly off, his dick curves to the left slightly. Before I have time to adjust, Mika grabs my head and forces his dick into me. It pushes himself hard against the back of my throat which hurts a bit, his cock eventually folds and, with what feels like a pop, goes down my throat, he lets out a loud moan, that's where he wants it. He starts to fuck, and I gag almost immediately. I pull away and flop forward, he then pushes my head to the floor, squeezing it between his warm socked feet. "Fuck" I think. In all the time prepping to get fucked I never worked on my gag reflex. It took me back to New York and the first guy to properly fuck my throat, and how hard it was the first few times. I needed to push through, he hands me down some poppers to loosen me up and slaps my ass a few times as I change position between his legs. I take his cock down and the same thing happens, hits my throat, he applies pressure until it slides down deep and he fucks my face hard. What happens next is a mystery but after some rough throat fucking I gag but stay down on his dick. He holds me there until I get comfortable(as comfortable as you can get in that position) then starts to fuck again, slowly at first, then picking picks up the pace until he's pounding my face. I gag hard and stop with his dick still in my mouth, I feel my nose running, I look down and there are drops of blood on his dick and pubic area. My nose is bleed, there's also spit on his cock with blood through it too. "Shit what happened?" "Sorry, my nose is bleeding" "Oh, hang on" Mika heads to the kitchen and comes back with paper towels "Here" I wipe the blood from my nose, it stops bleeding, I take a drink and get back to working his dick. He doesn't force me down, he lets me work it for a moment then he grabs both of my nipples and squeezes "Look at me" I look at him, he stares into my eyes as he increases the pressure, "Hmmm" , he pinches even harder, my nipples aren't sensitive at all so the pain was mild. He smiles then kisses me, leaning me back onto a towel he placed on the floor moments before. His cock head is pressed against my hole. He grabs both my feet in one hand holding my legs in the air and spits on the tip of his dick. I have a massive erection, I wonder if it will make it hurt more. He slides in, his cock feels super hot. He slides just a few inches of his dick in and out of my hole to wet the tip, before plunging all the way down. I'm surprised at how deep it's hitting me, I start breathing heavily, he starts to fuck me. Before long it feels amazing, he puts his hand around my neck "Yes!" I think to myself; "I'm in for it now" but Mika doesn't apply pressure. I try squirming a little under his hand but his grip wont tighten. He seems hesitant to choke but every once in a which he'll grab my neck like he's about to. It's a real dick tease. I'm flipped onto my front and fucked hard on the warm wood floor for a few minutes straight, his stamina is amazing. My knees and elbows are really feeling the strain, he fucks me doggy style before mounting me and pushing my face down to the floor, his hands pressing down on my head and back, really loosening my hole with his dick. I'm moaning like hell(I do this from time to time, I don't realise I'm doing it then get stupidly self conscious about it) He pulls out and stands over me stroking his cock "Come up". I raise to my knees, My cheekbone hurts where it was pressed to the ground, I open my mouth and starts to fuck my face again. It goes down a lot easier this time, I push through the gagging, we both snort more poppers and enjoy each other. Then Mika tells me he wants my ass, I assume he means he wants to fuck again, instead he lays on the floor, and instructs me to sit over his face and deep throat his dick. He slides his tongue in and out of my asshole. It feels incredible, he eats my ass good as I work his dick down to the root. After some deep throat fucking I come up for air. My face are pushed into Mika's balls, They dangle quite like mine do, but his are fatter. I slurp and suck them before he moves me to his asshole. His hole looks a little loose, as I start to eat his ass and make him feel good, he lifts his face from my hole to moan loudly, I think it's the first time he came for air since he start eating me out. I lap away, harder and deeper. We change positions I lay on the couch on my stomach, legs hanging over the edge, he starts fucking me again. He really speeds up and pounds it, I think he's going to come soon. We both let moan and groan, I feel cold drops on the small of my back. Sweat is dripping off Mika's forehead he looks like he's really enjoying fucking hard and relentless. I'm so comfortable by now that it doesn't hurt at all, and feels great. He licks the sweat from the small of my back to the nape of my neck before sucking on my neck like a vampire, hugging me from behind. His dick stays deep for a while, as we kiss, he then pulls out and we take a little break. As we listen to music, and smoke some weed, he asks me what my experience with piss was? "I've tried it before, depends on the guy though. With you? Sure!" He drinks more of his beer, sips some and feeds it to me but slowly trickling it into my open mouth. Then Mika stands up in front of my, his dick hanging by my face, I go to suck it "Don't suck it yet, just open it?" I open my mouth and wait a few seconds. He wiggles his dick inside my mouth and hot piss gushes out rapidly. He fills my mouth, then holds his piss for a second to allow me to swallow. After three big gulps of mild beer piss, he pisses continuously into my mouth. I try to keep up with drinking and swallowing with my mouth open and only manage to spill a bit of it down my body. He's thrilled with my drinking abilities. Reaching for the rubber ring on the table, Mika separates his balls and dick, and pushes his balls into my mouth. Forcing them deep until I gag, his balls really are a mouthful. After a moment, I start sucking his dick hard. I'm pushed down to all fours and he starts to fuck me again. Slowly, then stopping Mika asks "Do you feel that?" "Feel what?" I think, then I feel the warms and pressure. He's filling me with his piss "I had to get past that second ring" It feels like douching, but deeper and much sexier. His dick feels hard to me, even as he's pissing. He fucks again, slowly at first, letting out moans like "That feels amazing" and "I love your ass" picking up the pace until he's pound my piss-filled hole. It's the weirdest sensation, I can feel and hear the pissing sloshing around inside me with each thrust. It's surreal and hot at the same time. Here I was thinking I'd find a nice vanilla lay, not being piss fucked by a sexy French guy who is a ten minute walk away. I felt like my ass was getting full, and I didn't want to flush piss out onto his floor, so I ask to use the bathroom. I push out some of the piss but realise that most of it is too far inside to push out. I return to more piss, this time he gets me to drink it, he lets go, and I try to drink up. "Don't swallow, let it fill your mouth" His piss soon over flows out of my mouth and down my chest and body. I guess that's what the towel was for. As I'm kneeling there with a mouth full of hot piss, Mika puts one hand behind my head and the other under my chin, sucks the piss from my mouth into his, then spits it back into my mouth. This is new to me. The piss hits the back of my throat and I swallow some of it "Don't swallow it yet" he tells me, and repeats this process another two times before getting me to gargle and swallow down the saliva and piss. Mika starts to fuck my throat again, I could tell by the way he was doing it that he wanted me to throw up the piss, I didn't exactly feel like throwing up on his living room floor though, so I held it in and came up for air every time I felt I had to spew. Mika lays me on the couch with my legs on his shoulders and fucks me deep. I get that sloshing sound and feeling in my abdomen again. He's fucks for a while then slows down. This is where the sex tapered off. Neither one of us came, he couldn't and I wasn't trying really. I felt we covered a lot of ground for a quick meeting. Oh quick. I look at my phone and 3 hours have passed, I needed to get home. We finished our joint and drink and chat about threesomes, his love for cum play and cum swapping. I told him about choking, he seemed intrigued but tentative, he also didn't seem to know the right place to press for a blood choke. I tried to show him, the closest he came to choking me out was when he pushed his two heels either side of my Adam's apple(it's quite pronounced) and choked me with his feet, unique I thought. We kissed a little more, then I asked if I could use his shower before I left. Afterwards he led me down to the big gate, kissing a little more in the elevator, and saw me out. I felt truly fucked. And satisfied. The next day my throat felt raped, and swallowing was difficult, my lips were bruised from my teeth, but the text I received made me happy. "Having flashbacks from last night all day today Really enjoyed to finally meet you and how everything was so smooth but so hot at the same time Let’s definitely do it again soon" I think we'll meet again 🙂

Yesterday was just another of those dilemma filled Sundays, my mancunt was on fire and what to do about it. I did not really feel like a trip to the city (I live 50 kms from the CBD), but knew if I had to I would as I had not been fucked since Friday night, where I got five loads pumped into me at Blackout, and two days is about the outer limits of my tolerance without cock. I prepped my hole and hooked onto BBRTS ad Grindr in the hope that one of the many tops of both sites that had fucked me previously felt like unloading in me. I do get a lot of local cock off Grindr - but mainly safe sex - but the urge to get fucked was so strong I did not care how I got cock, raw or covered. A bloke, whose profile on Grindr I had previously ignored because of no pic, started messaging me - said he was 45, a little overweight, neg but on prep, couldn't host but was "horny as to fuck some arse." That was music to my ears so I invited him to my apartment as I live alone. He said he could come after lunch around 3 pm - so I said "fine" and as it was only 12.30 I thought I might get a bit of cock before he came - but that didn't happen. I always try to make my apartment "fuck friendly" when I invite tops over, draw the blinds, light a few candles, scatter lube and towels between the bedroom and the loungeroom, to send a clear message of "fuck me wherever you like." He arrived 15 minutes early and I was ready in my jockstrap. He was a very tall man and more than a little overweight, moustache and not what one would call attractive. He looked Middle Eastern. But this was not about looks, this was about scratching the itch in my hole. I am sure that I have had plenty as ugly or uglier fuck and breed me in backrooms and at naked parties. I really did not want to get involved in a conversation and luckily - neither did he, immediately grabbing my arse check and squeezing it. I was impressed by the bulge in his shorts and when I rubbed them was totally thrilled at the cock this man was packing. He was hung nd much to my delight - very thickly. Within no time his cock was rock hard as I pulled his shorts down and set my mouth to work on his meat. After a short while I said come and fuck me and led him to the bedroom. I bent over the side of the bed and passed him the lube, and in no time I was gasping as the head of his thick uncut cock opened up my hole. He seemed taken aback when I told him to "push it into me hard". He did and I felt like I was being split in two, which I love. For the next 90 minutes I hardly had his cock out of me at all, except to clean him up and change positions. He was a machine. When he laid on his back I rode his shaft like it was the last cock I was ever going to get, even changing angles so his cock tantalized my entire chute. He blew in me twice and as I was cleaning his cock after the second blow I realized the party was well and truly over. He had given my hole such a belting it had made me that horny I could have screamed. He asked if he could have a shower (had a feeling may have been married) as he said something about having to pick "kids up". I was talking to him through the shower curtain and he was coy about what area he lived in but he asked if I was attached. I told him no, and that I just loved getting fucked and bred as much as possible. He laughed and said he realized that as not many bottoms took him balls deep in one hit and not too many are still begging for more of hic cock after being bred twice by him. I thought I would be bold and said "anytime you feel like belting hole buddy hit me up - you have my number". I got a shock when he said "if you want I can come after work around 8 tomorrow night and fuck you." "Please do I can't wait" I said as I was watching him dry and dress, stil standing there in my jockstrap with a leaking hole. Just looking at his meat made me wanted it again right then and there. He left. I was right - I couldn't wait till he came again his fucking had turned the slut switch in my brain to full throttle. I immediately texted an Indian friend who has been fucking me regularly for the last three months or so and asked him if he was free and if he wanted to use his black stick to churn some baby batter in me as he has always loved fucking me when my hole is gaping and bred. I threw on the shorts and jumped into the car and headed for his apartment. By the time I got there 40 minutes later I was aching for cock again and he was ready, laying on his back naked on the bed. "come and service me you little slut," he growled and in no time I was chowing down on his uncut black meat, while he fingered my cummy hole. Two loads later I was cleaning that beautiful frothy mixture of seed from the base of his shaft and his pubic hair. I was in heaven on the drive home. Can't wat for ugly to come and fuck the life out of me again tonight.

I got AIDS from barebacking. Not just HIV - AIDS. As in, I didn't just get the unstoppable, irremovable virus in my body, it actually had time to eat me alive. HIV destroyed my body's ability to defend itself from disease, an ability that it had developed over the course of my entire life. By the time the doctors diagnosed me, every random bacterium, virus, and fungal spore had an odds-on chance of killing me. Some of them tried. Pneumonia, fungal meningitis. The latter almost finished me off by causing two small strokes in my brain. I would have died, too, if I hadn't been lucky enough to have a complete Circle of Willis - a circular path of blood vessels in the brain - that kept enough blood flowing to the blocked area to keep me alive. Even after I pulled through and started ART, I got an onset of molluscum contagiosum around my cock and balls - normally this is easily resisted, but it took months to clear. Then an old friend returned from childhood: chicken pox, in the form of shingles, activated because my immune system started to recover. That was misery squared for about three weeks. My CD4 count inched up slooooooowly, and I had to take prophylactic doses of antifungals and antibiotics until the count reached around 200. It's now around 300 after three years, where it ought to be at least 500, and it may never get that high again. I started on Atripla, then Triumeq, and now Genvoya. Every. Single. Day. Atripla sucked because it had to be taken at the same time each day, coordinated with meals, so there were times when I could, and could not, eat. It also made me gain weight, and shifted that weight to unattractive areas of my body. It has taken a long time, a complete change in my lifestyle, and a heartbreaking change of diet to alter that. Most recently, my doctor informed me that, as a result of my medication, I have developed a low-grade case of diabetes. Yep, you heard that right - meds-induced diabetes. Why am I bringing all this up? Because these are the consequences. I'm alive. I'm relatively healthy. I'm not sick, my viral load is undetectable, my chance of infecting someone else with HIV is very, very low, and my chance of getting another opportunistic infection is also very low as long as I take my HIV meds daily. But that doesn't mean I don't have to pay a price for my barebacking. From now on, I have to live very carefully. Until science catches up with this enemy virus, I have to live with diabetes. I have to watch what I eat, knowing that badly prepared food could do far worse than give me a bellyache. I have to work extra hard to keep my body from changing shape into something I don't want to look at. And I have to live with the understanding that my life expectancy, even with these miracle meds, is my mid-70s. That's at least 10 years less than I should have had. Now, I never particularly wanted to live to be an 80-year-old, so that's no great loss for me, but in a general sense, is the feeling of a raw cock up your ass worth ten years of your life? I can't answer that for you, because I can't answer that for me. Even after everything I've said above, I'm still not sorry for the day I took 34 loads in my ass. I wish I could do it again tomorrow, and the day after that. Being that kind of bottom completes me. I've accepted that part of the reason I'm here is to serve other men in just that way, and it gives me great joy every time a man experiences his climax inside me. I feel as though what I lose in quantity of life I perhaps gain in quality of life at that moment. I only wish I had more opportunity to give. But maybe that's what these HIV meds do, after all - not more opportunity to give the virus, but to give ourselves.