OKCmarriedguy

Part 2: Have you ever heard the tale of the Two Wolves? We all have two wolves inside us, trying to control differently and the wolf that you feed is the wolf that wins. I sat there with my hands on the keyboard, torn. My mind vs this carnal desire. Everything I had ever wanted vs a physical, emotional desire that would take everything I had ever wanted away from me. I tried so hard to remove my hands from the keyboard, but I felt powerless to do so. I saw the warning signs, I knew that this was not just sexual, it was so much more, so much more dangerous. I must have sat there for what seemed like an hour letting my two wolves battle, with neither wolf seeming to gain an edge, but then something happened that pulled the dark wolf ahead, he messaged me. Dan: Hey, you’re online Me: (fingers on the keyboard shaking with nervous excitement) Me: Yeah, I just had a couple minutes free and wanted to say hi Dan: It’s been a long time, I wish you had more than a couple of minutes Me: yeah, I just came home early, and my wife will be here soon Dan: Well, I’m glad you did Me: me too Dan: glad you still think about me Me: I do Dan: I still think about you too, a lot Me: Dan: I think about that night in your car and how I should have taken you by the hand and led you inside my apartment Me: you think I would have followed? Dan: I think you would have been nervous, but I think you wanted me to take you inside Me: maybe so, I was incredibly scared though Dan: you really were! You were shaking when I touched you Me: lol Dan: but I think you would have relaxed once we got inside, and we were alone Me: maybe, but I was scared half to death Dan: I would have been gentle with you Me: I believe that Dan: who knows what that would have started. I think if we had made love that night, it would have changed a lot Me: how so? Dan: We would have been closer, more connected, and you would want it more than you can imagine so you would have come back Me: I can see that being true Then during the chat something happened that I didn’t expect: Dan: (Dan is requesting to video chat) Me: ignores it Dan: please Me: I don’t know Dan: don’t turn your camera on, I just want you to see Dan: (Dan is requesting to video chat) Me: (accepts) I have my video off, but he can hear me. I see him lying in bed, its dark the bed is a mess as he is laying there on the sheets with no shirt. Dan: Are you there? Me: (nervously) yes Dan: it is so good to hear your voice, I wanted you to hear mine and see me, all of me He points the camera down to his rock hard cock and starts slowly stroking it Dan: Do you like it? Me: (my voice cracks) yes Dan: it likes you Dan: it wants you and only you I find it almost hard to breath now Dan: Do you want it? Please PLEASE tell me you do Me: I do! Dan: Good baby, I knew that you did Dan starts stroking a little faster and moaning. My cock is rock hard and I pull it out and start to stroke it with him, trying not to cum, but being so turned on. Dan: FUCK! It feels so good to be inside you. Finally, we are together Dan: Tell me you want me raw Me: I want you! Dan: Tell me you want my bare cock inside you Me: I want you inside me Dan: come on baby, please take me bare. I need it, I need you Me: I want you to fuck me raw Dan: Fuck yes babe! I slide my huge bare cock inside you, you feel so much better than I had ever dreamed. I whisper in your ear that we are together now. Tell me you want it! Me: I want it babe! I do! Dan: I start fucking your faster and deeper, I hear you moan with pleasure as I get deeper and deeper. I tell you that we are going to be together forever now, there is no going back now, it’s just you and me baby. I know you want it. I am so close to cumming right now, and I am so caught up in the story I would do whatever he wanted, I have fully lost control! Me: I do want it babe: Dan: tell me you want me to cum inside you! Tell me you want cum flowing through your veins! Tell me that you belong to me now! Tell me that I am yours and you are mine! You’re going to leave your wife behind to be with me. Please baby! Fuck please! Me: Cum inside of me baby! Cum deep inside of me, I am yours! Dan: Fuck, I can’t hold it back anymore! I am going to cum! I push as deep as I possibly can inside of you trying to ensure my cum is injected directly into your veins. And I lean over and whisper in your ear, my poz cum is my wedding vow to you, there is no going back for either of us as my cock starts pouring a river of poz cum inside of you. Me: I want it! I see dan on camera shooting out a huge load all over his bed and I do the same, cuming all over my office chair. I sat there for a minute trying to regain my composure. That is the most intense sex Ive ever had and it wasn’t real. But now I am starting to come down from my high and reality is sinking in. What the fuck have I done! If I thought I had created a dangerous situation before, what I have I done now! Dan: Oh my gosh! You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had! And I am SO happy that you feel the same way about me! Me: Dan: Babe, I promise you that I am going to treat you so good. I am going to make you happy, trust me. Me: Dan: We need to make this happen soon! I know you’re ready too! Me: Dan: you still cleaning up after that great fuck? Lol Me: Me: Gotta run, wife just walked inside!!! Sorry Dan: What? Tell her about us, its time! We are together now! Dan: She needs to know about us so we can start with our life. I logged off without responding to the last two messages. I sat there thinking to myself, what have I done. I have no control over myself and I’m going to throw my life away. I just told him I wanted to divorce my wife and marry him. I cannot be trusted. The next day I thought to myself, ever since 9th grade, I have worked towards 1 goal, become a lawyer, have a successful practice, have the hot trophy wife that everyone wants, have a membership at the country club, take vacations to Aspen, the Bahamas, nice places. And I have all of that right now, but I am trying my best to throw all of it away. And don’t be mistaken, it will ALL be taken from you. If your wife finds out, you will get a divorce and her father will drag you through court so long that you won’t be able to take on other cases, not that any other cases will come to you. Your father-in-law will be sure to spread it to the far corners of the earth that you cheated on your wife with a homeless HIV drug addict, whatever he can say to ruin my reputation and he is well enough connected to do so. If you cannot control your desires to have a guy fuck you, you can easily find another guy. A guy who isn’t infected with every std possible, a guy who isn’t trying to own you and keep you locked in a cage. There must be some guy out there like me, that wants something secret. If the urges ever get that bad, that is what I will do, Dan is no longer an option. For almost a year and half, I hardly thought of dan. I forced myself to believe that it wasn’t an option, and if the urge ever occurred, I just told myself, well you need to try something different, dan isn’t an option anymore. Most of the time, I would just go and jerk off and occasionally I would watch a little porn and then JO, but that seemed to work, it satisfied the craving. Over the next year and half, my business grew, I had 2 other attorneys working for me and not to mention a very sexy assistant. And my relationship with my wife got better, I honestly believe this happened when I hired my assistant. She got a little jealous and more interested in me. Things were going good. Right around the year and half mark, I got a pretty big case, back in my college town, back where dan was, and I had to go back there for the first time since I graduated, over 12 years ago. Our first in court appointment on the case was on Thursday morning at 9am. Now, I live two and half hours from there, so leaving at 6:30am isn’t that difficult, but I thought it would be best to drive up the day before and get a hotel room, just so I’m prepared you know. My wife actually offered to come and stay with me, but I told her that I wanted to go over the case material in the hotel room, so she decided to stay back. The nostalgia of being back in your college town, what can i say, it felt great. Something inside you makes you feel young again, young wild and free! But none of that was true, it just felt that way. First thing I did was I went to the gym, then I came back to the hotel and ate dinner at the hotel bar. I sat there for almost 2 hours having drinks, flirting with the bar tender. She was younger, in college, tattooed up and just looked sexy as hell. I have to admit, I was very tempted to invite her up, this is probably the first sign that I’m letting college nostalgia effect my head. But, you can never tell with bar tenders, is she flirting with me because she wants a tip or something more, and there was no way I was going to stay down there another 3 hours until they closed. So I left her a $100 tip, (yes, I was definitely trying to show off) and told her it was fun talking with her and left. I got up to the room and took a shower and then with just a towel wrapped around me sat on the bed and turned on the tv and grabbed my notes, time to go over the case material. But, I was buzzing pretty hard from the drinks and found it hard to concentrate. So I thought I would jerk off really quick and the first thing that popped in my mind wasn’t the sexy bar tender, it was Dan. I told myself that Dan wasn’t an option, but I’m not going to talk to him, I’m just going to Jerk off thinking about him, the guard then came down. That is where it all changed course. It put dan back on the table, it no longer was “Not an option”. I allowed myself to think about him, about our last conversation, and right now my mind wasn’t focused on the part about me losing everything I had ever worked for, it was focused in on the part with his extremely long cock. I was already getting hard, but there was something inside me that wanted more, like just going to jerk off was drinking a diet soda, I didn’t want diet soda, it wasn't going to satisfy this craving, I wanted more. I almost immediately had my laptop open on the site ready to log in and then there was this subtle howl, the other wolf was trying so hard to change my mind but I didn’t even take the time to think it over. I pressed the “login” button. Immediately I see that I had almost 35 messages from Dan since the last time we spoke, this did bring me back down a notch and alarms started going off Dan: Last night was so fun! Love you (a few days later) Dan: I can’t wait to see you baby! Love you so much! (the next day) Dan: Just thinking about last night, I am so happy that we feel the same. Love you (a week later) Dan: Hurry back on here, I miss you! (another week later) Dan: ok, this is starting to make me mad. I need to talk to you (The next day) Dan: Look, you and I both know how you really feel. You want this more than I do, quit being an ass. (a few weeks later) Dan: I guess you decided to stay with your whore wife. Who cares about me huh? What about you? You know that you want me, you crave me, I am the only one who can make you happy! (the next day) Dan: ok, I guess I will have to call your wife and tell her about us. I guess you’re not big enough of a man to do it, so you need me to come do it for you. (a month later) Dan: You should see the guy I fucked last night, he reminded me so much of you in college. He took a huge load! (a month later) Dan: What are you going to do when I come to your office and just walk into your office and bend you over your desk and fuck you raw as everyone hears you begging me to cum inside you! (several months later) Dan: omg! I can’t believe I sent that message; I was so drunk and was out with this really hot college guy that I’m dating now and I didn’t even remember sending that. Sorry, hope you’re ok. (6 months later) Dan: Hey! Just wanted to say hi, haven’t talked to my husband (lol) in a while so thought I would say hi. Hi hubby. Lol remember that night haha (1 month later) Dan: sends video message of him jerking off and as he is cumming he says “Oh fuck, I can’t wait until I get to cum inside you again babe” (the next day) Dan: sorry I meant to send that to someone else. Hope you’re ok (a few months later) Dan: Funny story, I was talking about you last night with my boyfriend and he totally wants to meet you! (a few days before now) Dan: Hey just think about you, wanted to catch up and say hi and see how things are going. I read them all several times, thinking it all over carefully. This guy is not stable, he is dangerous. He would do anything possible to infect you, rape, stealth you, anything. He sincerely believes that by doing this, we will essentially be married because where else can I go? I can’t go back to my wife, and who would start dating me when I have HIV+, Hepatis, and Herpes, whatever std he has. I would have nowhere to go, so I guess I would just marry him, and he would move in with me and I would buy him a car and we would take vacations all over and he wouldn’t have to do anything. So, he will do anything possible to get his toxic load inside you. That brought me down, but I still wanted to Jerk off thinking about him, so I pulled up that video he sent me and watched him stroking his long cock and shooting his load and hearing him say he was cumming inside me. I watched it over and over with my hand on my cock, but I couldn’t bring myself to jerk off, I didn’t want to cum. I wanted more! Me: Hey man, things are good, how are you? I see you have a boyfriend now, I am happy for you. Within 5 minutes: Dan: Just working, great to hear from you. Me. Work, work work, lol all work no play Dan: lol, you never let me play! Me: you have a boyfriend to play with (not believing he has a boyfriend) Dan: he doesn’t have to know Me: Dan, you don’t want to cheat Dan: You don’t tell him, I won’t tell your wife, I little secret Me: lol, secrets can be dangerous Dan: I like that Me: I know you do! Dan: so do you! Me: I do? Dan: What are you doing online? Me: Sitting in a hotel supposed to be working but doing something else Dan: I wish I was something else 😉 Me: lol, I didn’t say letting something else do me Dan: You should say that Me: really? Dan: Yes Me: Your boyfriend is going to be mad at you Dan: He knows about you, about us Me: what does he know Dan: he knows everything Dan: why are you in a hotel working? Wife kick you out? Me: lol, no. I’m here in town for work. Dan: You’re in town right now? Me: for tonight, I have a court early tomorrow Dan: Where are you staying? Me: The Montgomery Dan: Of course, the nicest hotel around Me: Lol, business expense Dan: what are you going to do when I come over Me: how are you going to get here? Dan: call a cab Me: you don’t know what room number I’m in though Dan: are you really there Me: (sends picture out of window) Dan: You can’t tease me, let me come over! Me: I can’t I have to study, you have a boyfriend, I have a wife Dan: We broke up last week Me: oh, I’m sorry (still not believing he ever had a boyfriend) Dan: Please! We don’t have to have sex, I just want to hang out Me: Really? You think you could come over, be alone in a bedroom and just talk? Dan: Yeah, I mean hopefully you will give me a hug and maybe a kiss, but we don’t have to have sex unless you want to. Me: I really need to study for this case Dan: I’m taking $20 out of the register now to get a cab, that’s enough to get me there, someone else will have to bring me back 😉 Me: you cant steal from your work you will lose your job Dan: I will pay them back somehow, you can loan me $20, right? Me: and now you’re talking about staying the night, you just said we wouldn’t have sex Dan: Just called the cab Me: you still don’t know my room number Dan: That means I have 10 minutes to get it from you before I get there. Me: Dan, hold on a minute! Dan: Already called the cab Me: Really hold on, lets think about this Dan: too late, what is your room number Me: Dan: I guess I could ask the front desk Me: Dan, come on. Lets talk this through Dan: we have been talking for years! If you don’t want to have sex, we won’t. Me: Dan: Getting in the cab Me: 5 minutes later Dan: (sends photo of the hotel) Me: what the hell! Dan: Should I ask the bar tender or the front desk for your room number? Me: hold on one second Dan: They’re really going to be “why is he going up to his room” Me: Dan, seriously hold on one second. Dan: Front desk it is Me: Ok! Dan: Ok what? Me: NO sex, right? Dan: up to you! Me: 412 I am pacing through the room, not knowing what to do before I realize I am still just wearing a towel. There is a knock at the door, “hold on one second”. I turn off the lights except the tv and the lights coming in the window and grab some shorts tee shirt and throw them on really quick and go to the door. I slowly open the door and see dan, much older and skinnier than I remember, but it has been over 10 years, and he isn’t the healthiest person I know, so he hasn’t exactly aged well. He walks in and the door shuts, he hugs me and kisses me, and I pull back a little. Dan: I’ve missed you so much! Me: I missed you too, but I cant…. Dan: I know, but you would have just talked all night Me: did you really steal from your work Dan: yeah, I had to, what else could I do. I had to see you Me: Dan: give me a hug! Dan steps in gives me a hug, as his arms wrap around me, he pulls himself in close and lingers, as he slightly pulls back and say’s I’ve missed you so much and leans in and kisses me. He sits down on the bed and taps beside him, come sit down! I hesitate and he grabs my hand and pulls me to him. He is sitting on the edge of the bed, and he pulls me to where I am standing directly in front of him, he then puts his hands behind me, on my butt and pulls me in and hugs me, with his face right next to my dick. He slowly turns his face to where his face is directly on my cock with nothing but a thin pair of shorts between us as he takes in a deep breath. He then lays back on the bed holding onto my hands pulling me on top of him, he puts both of his hands behind my knees pulling my legs to his side, so I am straddling him. Dan: this feels so good Me: I thought we were just going to be friends tonight Dan pulls himself up close to me and puts his right arm around me and twists to the left rolling over on top of me between my legs. Dan: you said we could hug and kiss As he leans over and starts to kiss me, shoving his tongue down my throat, for a second I kiss him back but then reality awakens me as I push him back. He pulls back and smiles. He then leans down and kisses me more forceful this time, again I kiss him for a second, but then stop, but he doesn’t. He starts kissing my neck and with his right hand he moves it below my left knee, pulling my knee up as he starts grinding on me. I feel his cock getting harder and pushing through his pants and pressing up against me. Completely out of my control, my cock starts getting hard, but I still try and stop him. Me: hold on dan Me: Dan! Hold on a second Dan just moans and keeps kissing me and grinding more forcibly. Me: Dan STOP! Dan gets up and with both hands pulls my shorts off, I try to stop but it happens so fast I didn’t even see it coming, he unbuttons his pants right in front of me as I am laying there on the bed. Me: Dan we need to stop now Dan: it’s ok, I promise, I will keep my underwear on, I just want to blow you like I did before. Me: Please, we need to stop Dan pulls his pants down and is standing there in his dirty white underwear, he drops to his knees and takes my cock in his mouth. I gasp for air, it feels so good, I am convincing myself that I will let him blow me and that’s all. It feels so good, my hips start to move. That movement you feel when you know the other person really wants it, I couldn’t control it. Then I feel his finger pushing inside of me, he must have had lube in his pocket, but he is pouring lube inside of me pushing more and more into me with his fingers, he goes from one finger to two to 3. I actually start to moan, then I feel him mouth leave my cock and go to my stomach, my chest my neck, my mouth and I kiss him back. Then I feel him pushing his bare cock towards me, I turn my head and say “NO!” Me: we can’t do that, ok? Dan: its ok baby, its ok As he keeps pushing it towards my lubed-up hole but I am blocking him. Then dan puts his hands around both of my wrists and holds them down as he continues to try and push his cock in me. Me: Dan, stop! We can’t to this. Not like this, we have to use a condom stop! Dan: its ok babe, I know you want this Dan removes his right hand from my wrist and puts it behind my knee pulling my knee up towards me giving him better access, with my free hand I try to stop him so he takes his left hand and puts it on my throat, with one hand holding my knee up and the other directly on my throat, leaving all of his wait pushing down on my throat, it’s hard to speak or even breath. Then I feel it, his bare cock is pushing in me, with one more push, his hard bare cock is about 1/3 of the way in me. He then removes his hands from my leg and throat and collapses on me and starts to kiss me. Dan: You feel so fucking good! I knew you wanted this As he starts taking slow strokes getting deeper and deeper. as he continues to speak under his breath with every stroke Dan: It's ok babe Dan: You know you want it, i know you really want this His breathing is getting heavier and heavier Dan: You know you fucking want this I am lying there in shock at what is happening, but at the same time this is the first time I have ever had anything inside of me, ever! So, I am also feeling this feeling. Dan keeps going harder and harder and getting deeper and deeper until he finally gets his entire bare cock buried inside of me, he then looks me right in the eye and kisses me and says Dan: you feel so good! I am already about to cum Me: dan, don’t cum inside of me please. I’m not ready Dan: It’s ok baby! I love you, I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t love you. This is the only way As he starts fucking me again, I try to push him back, but he just grabs my wrists again holding me down and fucks me even harder until he takes one last thrust that makes me grunt, and then I feel his cock exploding inside of me. Dan: fuck! i'm cumming baby, i'm cumming I just lay there feeling his huge cock pumping over and over again pouring his poz load inside of me. He collapses on top me and I hear him say “I love you baby” as he rolls off to the side and lays there trying to catch his breath. I am just lying there, and what is kind of funny is that I’m not thinking about his poz load inside of me. I just keep thinking “was I just raped”. I honestly don’t know. I feel like I was saying no, and tried to stop him, but at the same time he was saying stuff like “I love you and I miss you”. And, I was rock hard and my clock exploded too. Do you cum if you’re actually getting raped? I honestly didn't know if this was actual rape. I laid there thinking that for about 20 minutes before it dawns on me that his toxic load is still inside of me. I get out bed without waking him up and go sit on the toilet for 30 minutes hoping it will just all come out of me. This is when I realize what has just happened. There is no going back now, everything he wanted he may have just got, everything I have ever wanted I may have just lost. I went and laid back down, trying to sleep, but that wasn’t possible. A couple hours later he woke up and went to the bathroom, I tried to pretend like I was sleeping, but I hear him walk out of the bathroom and comes lays back in bed beside me. He lays right next to me, and I continue to pretend to be sleeping, as he starts kissing my neck and then he starts rubbing my cock again. I just lay there as he continues on, but soon my cock starts to get hard, and I hear him say “there you are” I kind of moan from pleasure and move my hips as he starts to kiss me, shoving his tongue down my throat. It feels so good, I kiss him back and he climbs on top of me, between my legs, I feel his cock getting hard and rubbing against me and he is grinding his rock hard cock up against me. Dan: I fucking want you Me: Mhmmm Dan: do you want me Me: (I open my eyes, no longer pretending to be asleep and look him in the eyes. Here I am in my thirties, in my prime, with a $100k car in the parking lot, and here he is, old, sickly, doesn’t even have $20 dollars to his name, and he wants to own me, he wants me to give him everything I have and how do I respond, I bite my lower lip, looking him in the eyes and shake my head yes, yes I want you. You can have me, you can have everything!) Dan: (smiles) tell me Me: I want you Dan: No, I need to hear it all. Do you want me to fuck you raw, do you want us to be one Me: yes, I want you to fuck me raw Dan: you want me to cum inside of you, my toxic poz load inside of you Dan: you can’t go back to your old life now, you will be mine. Is that what you want? Me: yes, I want you so badly Dan: (Grins so big) Dan: If you want us to be married, grab my bare cock and slide it in you I do as i'm told, looking him in the eyes the entire time, I reach down between his legs and grab his bare cock and aim it towards my hole. As I am doing this dan looks me in the eyes and says: Dan: be careful here, if you do this, I am going to poz you. You can’t go back to your wife, if you try to run, I will find you and ruin you. If you put my cock inside you, we are together forever and if you even think about leaving me, I will ruin you! Im laying there with his huge bare cock in my hand aiming it directly towards my hole and I hear him say all this and I realize that he isn’t going to force himself on me this time, its my decision and it's totally up to me. If I do it, I have to leave my wife and essentially be married to him, or he is going to ruin me. He is giving me an out. He is letting me stop and say goodbye to him. He always thought if he got the chance to fuck me, that I would be the one to give it all up for him, and now he is giving me the option to stop it and let him go or to choose a life with him. It is all running through my mind, what do I do? I know what i have to do, i look him right in the eye: Me: I do! Me: Your load has the power to make us one. I don't want you to use a condom, I don't want you to pull out. If you infect me now, I will be yours forever. Dan smiled really big - everything he had wanted for 12 years was about to be his Dan: This is our wedding, you're mine now He then stuck his finger in my ass and started fingering me without lube and doing it very rough, I could feel his fingernails scratching my inside. I clenched up and grunted from the pain, but he didn’t stop, he just went harder and harder. When he finally finished, he pulled out his finger which was covered in blood. Dan: there is no chance you won’t get infected now, you ready? I reached down and grabbed his cock and aimed it towards my hole. I was his.

What do you do when you recognize the red flags, but something in you chooses to ignore them? I guess that is what sets each of us on our own individual path. I don’t have to say, “Looking back I see the red flags” no, I clearly saw the red flags at the time, but choose to keep going despite the severe warning and that is how I got to where I am today. I guess I should start this story in college. I absolutely loved college, I was smart, so good grades came easy, I had lots of good friends, and we partied way too much, I was an attractive guy, so I found it easy to get girls and I took full advantage. I would say that I slept with several of the most attractive girls on campus. I was always careful, well most of the time I was very careful, because despite all the partying and sleeping around, I knew exactly what I wanted out of life and I didn’t want an unexpected pregnancy or std to interfere with that. Since high school I knew I was going to be a lawyer with a trophy wife, making bank and living the good life. I had no doubts that was my life’s direction, and it didn’t matter how much fun college was, that was my top priority, so I wasn’t going to do anything to risk that. I made good grades, I read books, I exercised daily, ate well, used condoms, and stayed healthy. Now, as careful as I was, there was one thing I wanted to try that did risk everything. I really wanted a blow job from a guy, but there was no way I would risk getting caught, so there was no way I would ever act on it. I guess you could say I was a little bi-curious. It wasn’t a dominating thought or anything, I have no doubt that I was way more attracted to girls, and loved having sex with girls, but I did want to see what this experience would be like. Occasionally, if I had a boring weekend I would get on my fake email and get on craigslist and chat with other guys who were looking for a “secret hookup buddy”, but I was always worried it could be someone that I might recognize or run into while I was out with friends, so it never went further than that. Well almost never. My senior year, I had one of those boring weekends where I got on Craigslist and posted “college hunk looking to chat”. As you all know, you get a ton of spam, but there were a few serious ones, but most wanted to chat for 10 minutes and then meet, which I wasn’t ready for. But there was one guy, Dan, who was totally happy with chatting and nothing more. Obviously, he was bored and didn’t have many friends, so he was happy for someone to talk with. I explained to him a little about myself, even though I changed up some key aspects to try and throw him off my trail if he did try to investigate. He told me he was in his late 40’s (no chance of us running in the same crowds), worked at a gas station at night, as he told me it’s the gas station right by The DipStick, the only gay bar in town. I laughed and told him that has to be convenient and he said that it was and that occasionally some drunk guys leaving the place would stop in for beer or cigarettes and he might get to blow them or something in the bathroom. We chatted for a few hours and when I was about to leave the chat he said “I know you’re not ready, but if you ever want a really good blow job I live over at the Lake View apartments on MLK blvd. You could stop by real quick and get off and if you wanted you could touch my cock if you’ve never got that opportunity before”. I told him that I appreciated the offer, but wasn’t ready. I logged off and went to search his apartment, which was directly behind the gas station he worked at, and it was really run down and looked sketchy and dangerous, like you’re going to get mugged or shot. Over the next few months leading up to winter break we chatted quite a bit and I grew to really enjoy talking with me. Of course the conversations grew more sexual, with him talking about how much he wanted to see me naked and suck my cock, and I was definitely turned on by the thought of it and I would reply somewhat vague, like “Oh yeah”, I was still super nervous, like all of a sudden he would respond “this was all a joke, this is your friend and we are punking you, you fag!”. I know how stupid that sounds, but my mind was crazy. The more and more we talked the more comfortable I became with him, I ended up sending him a body/dick pic, which he almost melted over. Not trying to brag, this statement is more about the lack of attention this guy would get rather than how hot I was, but I was pretty damn hot. He responded with a pic of him jerking off, and he had a really big dick, long and slim, just like the full body and face pic he sent next. He was an older guy, looked like he had a rough life. Tall and skinny. Behind him I could see his bed mattress on the floor with a box tv on a milk crate in a room that was absolutely trashed with clothes and trash on the floor, definitely a guy who doesn't have much company. Despite all that mess and sketchy apartment, I was turned on, mainly because it felt safe. There was no way I was going to run into this guy anywhere I went. We were definitely not running in the same circles, but he was lonely and bored and had plenty of time to try and investigate who I was and find my real identity, so I still kept my guard up. Finals week right before winter break, I was one of the few people on campus that got stuck with a Friday Final, so by Thursday almost everyone was gone. The campus was a ghost town, but that is ok, because I needed to study for my final. Thursday night I was studying, until I got too bored and decided to jump online and see if Dan was online and wanted to chat. I got online and sent him a message “Enjoying the snow?”, within 2 minutes he was online and replied · Dan: Bundled up in bed naked staying warm, you? · Me: Trying to study, but bored and now thinking about being naked in bed · Dan: Naked In bed is a lot more fun when someone is with you · Me: I bet your right, its too bad you don’t have someone there with you to help keep you warm · Dan: I know, I wish someone would cum over, I would definitely show them how much I appreciated the cumpany · Me: You mean you can’t find anyone on craigslist to cum over on a night like this? I would think it would be easy to get a one-night-stand · Dan: Yeah, if I looked like you! · Me: Well, I think you look like a great one night stand · Dan: Be careful what you say · Me: Why is that? · Dan: if you ever do come over for a bj I might try more · Me: more? · Dan: Make you fall in love with me · Me: Lol, how so? · Dan: I will get you on my bed and you will be asking for a bj and I will start blowing you and then I will stop and pull your pants all the way off and start kissing you up your stomach to your mouth and you would be surprised as I kiss you, but even more surprised to feel my giant cock pressing up against you as I tell you how much I want you, you reply “I only want to be with you” as I slide my giant cock inside you and make love to you until we cum together · Me: fuck man, that got me hard! · Dan: cum over, please! · Me: I’m driving around now going to get something · Dan: cum over here now! Take a left off MLK to 13th, the second building facing the road, second floor, apartment 2B, door is open and its cold outside please come shut my door · Me: · Dan: you there · Me: I’m parked outside · Dan: cum up baby, I want you · Me: · Dan: please baby! · Me: · Dan: I see you sitting in your truck, want me to come down · Me: · Dan: I’m coming down I see him walk out his apartment door, down the stairs and I’m panicking. My heart is beating out of my chest, not sure what to do, but I can’t move. He knocks on the passenger window and opens the door and sits in the truck. He tries to talk me into to coming up stairs, but I can’t move. I am so scared that I just sit there giving him one-word answers. We sit like this for 5 or so minutes until he reaches over and starts rubbing my leg. I am so nervous my body is shaking as his hand goes to my cock that is rock hard. As he feels my cock, he smiles at me and starts to pull it out from my sweatpants. He starts rubbing my cock saying how much my cock wants him, and how much I want to be with him, as he is leaning over to my cock he says “don’t worry, I want us to be together too” and he takes my cock in his mouth. It felt so fucking good, I had never felt anything like it before. Everything around us was quite, no-one around, dark and super cold with snow falling as this old man is sucking me off in my truck and I’ve never been more turned on. It didn’t take long for me to cum and he swallowed it all up. He sat up licking his lips to see my face completely in shock at what just happened, he then leaned over and kissed me. The high was wearing off and I began to come back to reality and what had just happened and what had almost happened if I had went in the apartment. He noticed the change in my demeanor and made a quick exit, but before he left he said “see how easy it is, you’re not going to jail, you didn’t get caught by anyone, you don’t have to stay for dinner after. Any time you want to, you know where I live” and he left and I drove home. For weeks after, I will still in shock, promising to myself that it would never happen again, but that only lasted for a little while before I got curious. I really wanted to see what messages he had sent me since our encounter, so I logged on to see, and there were several messages about how good that was and would have been better if I had come inside the apartment and how much he missed me and thought we could start something amazing. Despite all this, how good it was, how often we chatted, my final semester at college, we only chatted. I never went back over there. After graduation, I was going to law school about 1.5 hours away, so after the semester had ended my dad and younger brothers came to help me pack and move me to my new apartment in a new city. They packed up all my clothes except the clothes on my back and were about to leave when I decided I wanted to stay one more night and head home in the morning. My dad responded, "but you don’t have a bed or anything here", it's ok, I will sleep on the floor or over at a friends. Its my last night here, probably ever, I want to go out with friends and have a few drinks, they agreed and left, but I had no intentions of going out, well not with friends. I went to the gym and got something to eat and some beer and came home and showered and got clean and shaved up and around 10pm, decided to jump on chat and see what Dan was up to: · Me: well this is it. I am heading out. I can say I am honestly going to miss you and our talks · Dan: Come say goodbye · Me: lol, I cant, I am with my family · Dan: Damn, I wish you had come over last night so I could say good bye to you · Me: me too! · Dan: I am going to miss you two! · Me: us two? · Dan: you and your little friend, to bad he never got to meet my friend, they would have liked each other · Dan: sends a picture of him holding his cock · Me: wow! I swear your cock is a foot long · Dan: lol, no. I wish it was wider · Me: is that better · Dan: most people want it thicker rather than longer · Me: Oh, it looks good to me · Dan: I really liked yours and really wanted to see it again · Me: would you suck it as good as you did last time? · Dan: better! · Me: How so? · Dan: we would be naked in bed together and I would make you never want to leave me · Me: Don’t go falling in love, I am leaving tomorrow · Dan: tomorrow? · Me: maybe · Dan: don’t go falling in love · Me: lol touché · Dan: Cum over and let’s make love · Me: Make love? getting serious here Dan? · Dan: Maybe, by the end you won’t want to leave, I may get you pregnant so you have to stay · Me: that might be hard, not sure I can get pregnant · Dan: lol, that means we are going to make love bareback and I’m going to cum deep inside you, so we are together forever · Me: Oh lol! But I always use a condom, no offense. · Dan: you won’t want to tonight, it feels SOOO good to have someone cum deep inside you · Me: really? · Dan: yes! You will love it. · Me: I don't know if you're clean or have something. Are you clean? · Dan: I think so, I am trusting that you’re clean. · Me: lol, you didn’t even ask me if i was! · Dan: I guess I honestly don’t care, I just want us to be together, even if you do have something. How about this, I will put it in you and if you don’t like the way it feels I will pull out and put on a condom? · Me: I can’t believe I am saying this, but I think okay · Dan: you think? · Me: I’m having a few drinks trying to build up the courage to come over. · Dan: Come over baby, please. We can make slow sweet love, and if you decide to move, we will have this one night and we will both know that my cum will always be inside you · Me: Ok! · Dan: YES! I fucking love you · Me: hold on, someone is knocking on my door I got to the door and 3 of my friends where there and just came inside saying let’s go out and get wasted. I didn’t return to my messages that night and completely left him hanging. The next day I left and moved off, started law school, met a girl, and started a new life, completely leaving dan behind. As I started my new life and had a clear vision of my future, I was thankful that that night ended up the way it did, but I did feel terrible about just leaving him without even saying goodbye. It was almost 2 years after that night that I was home alone and bored and decided to log in and see what he had said after me ditching him. I was very nervous because I knew he would be furious, but to my surprise his messages weren’t hateful or angry at all. For the next few months following that night, he apologized for trying to rush me, he asked if I was ok, he expressed concern that maybe something had happened to me and he would never know, he messaged me about missing me, but nothing hateful. I sent him a message trying to explain what had happened that night and what had happened since then, and how I hoped he could forgive me for just disappearing. Within a few minutes he was online and was very nice. He was glad to see that I was ok and wasn't dead, and said that he understood. We chatted for a little while about life, nothing sexual, just catching up. Over the next TEN YEARS we continued to chat, not on a regular basis, but once or twice every 6 months and some instances going over a year without talking. Most of our talking was about life, just how things are going. I told him about me getting married and working for my wife’s dad’s law firm and basically living the life I had always dreamed. I wasn’t trying to brag, but when you’re talking about your life, this stuff was bound to come up. He was still living in the same apartment and was working at the same gas station; he said he was really depressed for a year or so after I disappeared. He almost seemed angry or resentful that my life was going so well and his wasn't. This wasn't the life he had dreamed of, nobody wants to be almost 60 years old working at a gas station and living pay check to pay check. I felt like he believed that if I had just come over that night, then me and him would be together and we would be living together and he would be the one driving the mercedes instead of my wife. Although I did enjoy talking with him, he did not seem like the same guy I knew, he lived a more carefree lifestyle. As if tomorrow didn't matter, living life without fear of consequences, and was almost happy to tell me about it, perhaps trying to make me jealous of his sexual escapades. Over the next 10 years, he would send me messages about guys leaving DipStick that he would hook up with in the bathroom or occasionally go back to his apartment. Inevitably, one day I got a message that he got herpes, then a couple years later he said he tested positive for Hepatitis C, this one really seemed to hit him hard, he was depressed and angry with himself. After this he seemed to be almost on a downward spiral, not caring about his actions so it wasn’t much of a surprise when I got a message one day that he tested HIV positive. This one really got him angry and depressed; I believe he hated seeing how my life turned out and how his was spiraling downwards. I believe he was honestly believing that me and him would end up together and maybe I would take him away from his life working at a gas station trying to suck off drunk strangers in the bathroom because that was the only action he could get. He never came out said that, but he would get upset if I spoke about my wife or anything positive with our life, but did seem to enjoy the problems I had working for my father-in-law and my wife always took his side. After his new found status, he went on a while sleeping with people without a condom and said he enjoyed giving them what he called his “Happy Meal” because it was a combo of Herpes, Hepatitis and HIV. He rationalized it as though the person didn’t want to wear a condom or ask him if he was poz, so he had no problem sharing it with them. In his mind, if his life was falling apart, he wanted everyone else to experience the same feeling. We would continue to chat every 6 months or so, and eventually he began to embrace his new life and didn’t look at it as if it was a curse. He said he couldn’t afford medication, so he would just live his best life and enjoy his life. He honestly seemed a lot happier, like the Dan I remembered from college, if not happier. One day I sent him a picture message of an office building. He replied what is that? I told him that it was my new office. I left my father in law’s firm after being passed up for a partnership. He never really liked me, so I quit and started out on my own. This ultimately led to some serious issues between me and my wife and caused some friction because I was making way less money and she was daddy’s little girl so I was always the bad guy. But what really caught me off guard was Dan’s response, he replied to my message of the picture with the address. I asked him how he got it and he told me that he did an image search and found it on the realtors site with the address. Thankfully I don’t think Dan had a car, so he did have immediate access to me. My biggest fear, being found out was closer than ever, and I had more to lose than ever before. Dan started to tease me about how he was going to show up one day at my office so we could pick up where we left off 10 years ago. Thankfully, nothing ever came from it, because again, I don’t think Dan had a car or transportation. One night I was home alone because my wife had gone to a fund raiser for dog charity she works with and we were still not doing very well, so she went alone. So, I got online to talk to dan. · Me: What’s up · Dan: Cuming to knock on your door · Me: (panicking) WHAT? · Dan: I know where you work now · Me: (relieved he didn’t know my home address) and what are you going to do when you get there? · Dan: Take you back to your office and give you what you’ve been dreaming of for 10 years · Me: and what is that? · Dan: Me, all of me! · Me: All of you? · Dan: yes, all of it! Nothing between us, you and me joined · Me: well too bad im not at the office · Dan: yeah! Move back here! · Me: Lol, · Dan: You wouldn’t ever want me to leave after · Me: after? · Dan: after I knock you up! You’ll fall in love After this conversation I realized, he wanted to be with me. He doesn’t just want a one-night-stand, he wants to be together and I may be treading on dangerous waters. But still, a couple of months later I find myself logged in again to talk with Dan. Why am I ignoring these red flags! But the next red flag was unmistakable, this message that he sent a couple of days after our last conversation: Dan: I know you want me, why are you lying to yourself. You know you want to be with me. We have been talking for over 10 years, and still want each other. I just wish you would give in to what YOU want. You know you’re not happy, only I can make you happy, just like only you can make me happy. We are meant to be together and if you would just meet me you would see that. Just one night together and you would see we are meant for each other. I would treat you so much better than your wife does. Does she think about you all the time, does she get your dick as hard as I do. Just come here for one day, one hour and you will see it. I know you’re nervous, but I would be so gentle. I would start by kissing you and telling you how much I love you and then I would lead you back to the bed and I would lay on top you kissing you so softly as we started taking each other’s clothes off. I would work my way down kissing your chest and stomach and then your beautiful cock. You would moan as I sucked it like I did last time, but I wouldn’t let you cum yet. I would work my way back up between your legs as you look up at me, looking in my eyes as you pull my giant rock-hard cock out of my underwear. You have been wanting this so long and here it is, right in front of you, its yours forever! I bend down and start kissing your ear as you feel my bare cock pushing up against you. I ask you if you want me, as you reply “Yes”, but I want more, I want to hear how bad you want me baby, you reply “So bad, I only want you”. I tell you to grab my bare cock and aim it towards your lubed hole. Do you want my bare cock baby, you reply “Yes I do”. Tell me how bad you want it “I want you to fuck me raw, impregnate me, give me what you have so we can be together forever. I want to be with you only you, make me yours now, plant your seed in me now baby, I love you!” as I put my cock inside your raw, you’re so happy to finally have it, I make a few small strokes and finally get all 10” inside you. I stop and whisper in your ear “ there is no going back from here, we will be together forever now” and you get so turned on you look at me and say “I want us to be one, I want your seed flowing through my veins, this is the only way we can truly be together and be one, breed me baby, make me yours, you own me”. As I cum inside you, so deep inside you. There is no going back now. I know you want this baby, please cum to me. Only I can make you this happy, deep down you know this. As I read that message, I was shocked. I am really in a dangerous position. He wants to own me, this is the type of stuff you see before someone goes missing. I am generally concerned for my life at this point. The tone of the message was not about sex or love, it was about ownership, it was desperation, it was psychotic, if I can't have you nobody can type stuff. I knew that I was in danger, he knew where my office was but thankfully had no transportation, if I were to meet him he would do everything in his power to try and trap me by giving me his “Happy meal” so I couldn’t go back to my wife. I would have to divorce her and then, in his mind be with him. And that’s if things don’t go worse and he tries to kill me. I realized that everything I had ever worked for, my career, my life was all at risk of being ripped away from me right now, but what I truly couldn’t understand is why my dick was SOOO hard reading that message. I guess the thought of being so desperately desired by someone, the danger situation, the sexual tension we had in college, the danger of unprotected sex with someone who I know has HIV, Herpes and Hepatitis, when I have spent my entire life trying to be careful. It was all awakening some carnal desire deep within me that I guess had never had a chance to show itself. It wanted him to fuck me raw, it wanted him to take control, to force his disease on me, it wanted him to be dangerous, to be psychotic, it wanted to dance with the devil. I was torn, something so clearly deadly but at the same time being so turned on. My mind was screaming, RUN! Delete your account all your email history, cancel your lease, get as far away from every possibility that he has of finding you, but this small part of me that was getting louder and louder was screaming “you know you want it, you know you want him to own you, to command you, to make you belong to him, there is nowhere else you can run, you will be his property, let him breed you, let his disease take over” My hands stood still on the keyboard as the battle in my mind raged on. What do I do?