versamarried

While I enjoy feeling cock in my ass if there is no cum planted in me I feel like there was no point. Even worse I feel like I must have been a terrible bottom to not get them off completely. I also feel this way if the top pulls out and cums on me.

I have a lot of thoughts that are guaranteed to get me off. Sometimes I may use one too often and I have to move on to another one because my mind sits on, "Yeah this is hot but we know it is not happening so...".

This is one that currently gets me over the edge quickly:

I start a new friendship based on a 'hobby' I have told my wife I want to pursue. Instead I find a top who hosts and desires my chubby bear married ass bareback on the regular. He texts me often to hang out. Wife stays unaware that he breeds me and I am 100% always going to let him use my ass as much as he wants. Our meetups are frequent enough that my ass is in all intents always lubed with his semen, and I get so turned on that my wife has no idea how slick my hole is with DNA. Then he starts sharing me with 'friends' every so often.  He admits that eating my hole with other mens seed in me turns him on and he asks if I would be okay with being his cumdump lover. I enthusiastically agree. After setting me up with several interracial groups of men he then asks if I would agree to being tattooed on my ass in a way that tags me as a cumdump (possibly exclusively to only men of other races). Hesitant at first I agree. He takes lots of videos and pictures of my ass being bred deeply with the tattoo prominent always showing my face and asking me how happy I am to be a no loads refused cumdump, which I respond very positvely to.

What gets me over over the edge is the thought of all the times afterward that I keep my wife from noticing that 1 single tattoo on me for the rest of our married life.

I always believe that you do not pick your kinks. But your kinks are not always obvious to yourself and you just need a teeny tiny glimpse of it to set you on the path of exploring them. For me long before I ever even had sex with a woman I used anal play on myself to enhance my orgasms. Then later in college I took a class on social deviancy and one whole section was us reading about tea rooms. The major conclusions from those studies was that a great deal of the men going to tea rooms identified as straight and married with kids. That intrigued me because I definitely had always had interest in what a real cock would feel like but for some reason while I was intrigued I just kind of let myself get distracted with hetero sex. Then a good five years after graduating college I first heard about bugchasing. Lots of people were mocking of it but when I read what bugchasers were openly begging for HIV cum etc it literally just set a light bulb off inside me.

BZ is practically the only community where these types of discussions are had and I was hooked on reading and exploring. Eventually of course it expanded to physically engaging in the same sort of behaviors I read about that turned me on.

Now I continue coming here because it is the only place I can still read and share the type of sex I crave and enjoy. Reading others people erotic tales that perfectly align with my own desires shows me that I am not alone. It also keeps me going forward in my exploration. I have yet to knowingly take poz loads but I am definitely posting and searching it out more and more when I do hunt for bare cock.

I do not know if my hole qualifies as loose. But something that absolutely gets me hard is when I think back to the first time I took an above average dick with just spit as lube and no previous penetration in weeks. It was just so erotic to me that all of these strange men over time have not only left there DNA inside me but also physically reshaped my body permanently into a breeding cumslut. I absolutely love that I have been altered by men and my wife has no idea that while she has fantasized taking 1 in her pussy and 1 in her ass, I have already taken 2 in my ass more than once.

I can relate and I think it plays into my cuckold kink as well. I feel totally happy and satisfied when a top uses and cums deep in me without me cumming at all. I absolutely also love the thought of my wife having other men cum in her holes (has happened once at least).

Over time it has become more and more difficult for me to finish with my wife because I am more into her orgasm and the only way I can cum with her is to imagine her with another guy or me being a total slut for strange men seeding my neg hole with their poz cum.

Have a lot of free time this week and next to arrange a meet. Just need a willing and hosting undetectable/poz top.

12 hours ago, BlueSaphir said:

 
4-6 times if I’m super horny with no sex with a top. 

I am the same when super horny and have the time.

Once a day is absolute.

Out of necessity I can cum in 20 minutes. But I have gone 2+ hours of stroke edging and even then sometimes I do not finish until later in the day. Having family around most times makes those moments rare. I prefer the longer sessions over the quicker ones.

Usually when I know I have limited time the quickest way for me to finish is to think about taking poz cum deep in my ass while missionary with the top declaring he is pozzing me and then deep tongue kissing me as he starts impregnating me.

21 hours ago, Teeslad70 said:

Thank you. I just wish I understood myself.

It may take a while and important to not rush or force understanding prematurely. Processing through the tough emotions helps to point you to the right conclusions.

It was a good 30 long years of exploring before I could finally understand my bisexuality and kinks. There were definitely moments where I pushed my boundaries a bit too far and other times my frustrations were on times I settled for less and felt unfulfilled. It was a good 10 years after having sex with men that I was also able to clearly understand that with men I am a 100% total bareback bottom.

Absolutely jealous of your adventure. I can also attest to lack of easy bareback hookups in Europe having lived in the Netherlands for the past year. Back home even in a conservative southern state it was comparatively trivial to find a bareback top even last minute. Pretty much the only barrier was me being a cheating married slut needing someone to host during the times I had free without suspicion. Here in NL I believe the only way to get bareback loads is probably going to be through cruising the parks or sex clubs. All the hookup apps have people wanting dates or safe play only.

Glib answer based on I rarely have chance to be choosey: Any top willing to breed me on short notice at their place with minimal fuss, not wishy washy, straight and to the point.

But if I had the chance.to find what gets me hot and bothered. Add to the above answer, 20s to 40s, big beefy man, any race, thick 8+ inch cock, multicummer with hyperapermia,  verbally dominant, enjoys making out and kissing while breeding me deep.

Currently in The Hague it is for all intents non existent. I am probably one of 3 people logged in, usually just me. Plus I am the only bottom and the other 2 who seem to come online are versatile and explicitly state they do not want full bottoms. Sigh. There is one guy who is listed as undetectable that I am trying to meet but our schedules are just not allowing it. Other than that when I check for all in The Hague (regardless if active) there is only a total of 15 or so profiles. I have not been bred in over a year.

I definitely feel a rush when a top is overtly obvious they are close or going to cum. Like verbally asking me where I want their load because they are close, or just saying they are nutting. Or like when their physical signals are distinct, rapid breathing, speeding up and then grunting or moaning or any kind of large vocal display they are cumming.

Most of the time when I have had silent tops I have been left wondering if they just got tired of fucking and decided to fake nutting to end the session for whatever reason they have. A lot of the times it is because I rarely actually can tell when a top cums in my ass, no obvious difference in how my ass feels especially if they use a lot of lube. Definitely kills the excitement when I have to ask if they came and do not feel any leakage soon after. 

But once my ass regains some feeling and them cum does start leaking I get the rush I want, just delayed.

I would say maybe only 3  guys left me wondering if they really did finish.

If Daddy is not complaining then take that as a cue that he is at least not unhappy. You can just ask him  if there is anything you have done to cause a downturn in meetup/setups. Regarding the lad, my own anecdotal experiences of extra-marital play is that 99% of your meetups will be one and dones regardless of all the chats about wanting something ongoing etc. If no response then it is fine to just move on, if he messages in the future, great, and if not nature of the beast.

I love being kissed while getting fucked. But I leave it up to the top on whether that occurs. Absolutely love when they are plunging their tongue deep in my throat as they blast their cum deep in me.

But one of the hottest kissing while getting fucked moments for me has only happened once. Wish it could happen again, though it was pretty spontaneous the one time it happened.

I was with this top in my marital bed, second meetup with him but first time in bed. It was raw lust right from the get go. He had me prone on my stomach and was just railing away. I could feel his sweat pouring off him onto my back. I was moaning in ecstasy and he suddenly gets in a position where he is still in me on top but his head is now on top of mine and forces my head sidewise. He then starts sticking his tongue out which I took to mean he wanted to kiss. I open my mouth and at first he just lets whatever animalistic amount of saliva in his mouth just pour out and it hits right into my open mouth. At the same time sweat from his brow is dripping everywhere and mixing with his juices. I greedily start lapping it up and finally he is able to lock his mouth on mine sticking is tongue in me as he starts blasting a massive load deep in me. Needless to say we were both a wet sticky sexy mess, laying there panting. In my head I was like what the hell just happened, and holy shit that was hot as fuck. I teased him with my ass that time 2 more times and got him to release all his balls deep. We met quite a bit over time but never had a session like that again.

Never struggled to explain why I desire being a total bottom. Anal sex feels amazing, having someone excited using your hole feels amazing, knowing with 0 doubt that having your hole used for someone's pleasure feels amazing, knowing you are receiving, accepting, absorbing another man's dna feels amazing, knowing this about yourself is so liberating and freeing feels amazing.

In terms of sensations it becomes a mix of physical response, my hole actually feels like it loosens up, i get an empty feeling in my belly that I know is my body way of saying it needs someone to fill the void. Then in my mind I get the sensation of how much I need that bare cock and load and that what is going to make me happy is being used as a cum slut bottom. After that it is just a wave of feel good hormones that make me just want to be used over and over.

Finally, jerking off during or after having your prostate pummeled feels amazing.

Wouldn't you like to be a total bottom too?

I always like to hold it in but I have noticed a couple of different moments when I feel I need to expel the load. One is  some sort of response where my ass decides it has to expel its contents. The other though happens afterward when I am home full of stranger cum and the wife is asleep. In order to relive the moment and express to myself again just how much of a fucking cumslut I really am I like to feel and especially SEE how large a load my cheating ass was carrying. Then use it as lube so I can spray my unworthy bottom cum into the toilet.

Really is liberating and electric when you can just let your inner cumslut out AND not feel anxiety after. Keep it up, it gets easier and easier to enjoy the more you partake.

It took me a long time to realize that the supposed 'safe' bareback play I tricked myself into excepting as being 100% protection against STIs was complete bs. What I mean by that is I always wanted to see pics of the top, chat about our statuses beforehand. Then only meetup with tops who would say they were neg, even though I would lie saying I was neg when truth was I had no idea as I never got tested. And would never do blind meets both for at my home or going to their places. But after awhile I could no longer lie to myself that all of that was performative garbage to alleviate any worries I had after each encounter. If I was lying they were just as likely to be. And their looks never really made a difference as to whether I would meet them. I still walked head first into some shady locations and took the loads. So finally I did a true anon meet and it was amazing. The freedom as I waited buck naked ass up for a stranger to walk in, slide in, breed me and leave was intoxicating. After that I did some blindfolded meets and it was just as exciting. If a top offered to host me blindfolded for other tops I would jump at the chance.

Joke answer: Just long enough for them to cum deep and tell me to get out.

Real answer: I honestly could not give a decent estimate.

Before I ever saw the term "side" I would get pissy responses from guys who were vague on their preferred position when I would insist that if they wanted to me to cum as well I would need to be bred first.  I never understood why that was such a deal breaker that they would pester that I should just be happy with wanking away etc. I was happy to see the new term of "side" because it made it easier for me to just nope out. 

Where I have moved to where being gay or kinky is way more accepted it is much much harder for just plain hooking up with randoms using apps. I figure mostly because there are so many other options like clubs and cruising spots. I also think there is less of a pool of those wanting to hookup since being in a commited same sex relationship is far more prevalent.

I have only every truly met with 2 tops that had cocks of sizes that initially gave me pause. However I never turned them down, or even gave mention I was hesistant to take them. Instead I would do my darndest to accomodate them because I really really wanted those cocks to wreck my whole while they filled me with their superior large cock dna. 1 I was able to accomodate more easily than I expected and had amazing multiple meetups with where he used my hole over and over again. He practically rearranged my guts and had me pining for his thick long cock in me to the point I almost thought about ditching my marriage in the hopes it meant I could be more exclusive to him, not living together or anything like that but more his slut to use at his leisure. The other cock is more recent and he is much larger than the previous mentioned top. Unfortunately for me he is much older and the only thing keeping his cock out of my ass is ED. He does fine when I give oral but I think he really is afraid to hurt me so he goes soft in the attempts. But I have made it my mission to get that rod in me sooner than later.

Being in heat sounds about right. I often have periods of time where all I really want or need is to be taken and seeded. All my energy goes into using any and all online hookup apps, sites to arrange something. All the while that is going on I am jerking off as much as I can. It does not subside even after a successful hookup, I can still be wanting more and more after. But if after a long time, like say a month, and it becomes apparent that nothing is going to happen I can suddenly walk away and my need for release subsides a tad (I jerk off at least once a day). But I cycle pretty much all year round. I am just now experiencing that non-manic period for the first time since moving to the Netherlands this past January. For me being bred is the ultimate stress release, jerking off is just a stop gap in between, and moving to a new country is a massive stressor.

At first I considered myself versatile. Was cool with topping since wife had no interest in fucking. But apparently my cock is considered pretty desirable so whenever I hooked up with versatile guys they would insist I top first. Usually they would cum with me fucking them so once I was done they would suddenly not want to top me. Every time that happened I always felt unsatisfied as my ass ached for cock and cum. Eventually I just realized that my ass is in control and to go full bottom. Best decision in my life. I personally feel more satisfied from jerking off with a strangers DNA soaking in my guts, and blowing my worthless load on the ground/toilet/sheets/all over myself. I do not believe nationality has a bias on a persons preference.