I know several couples where one is poz and the other is neg. They all have active sex lives. One couple always use rubbers. One couple sometimes use rubbers and the third couple never use rubbers. They have all been together at least five years or longer. All the neg guys are still neg. All the poz guys are healthy undetectable. It seems to me that, in most cases, it's a lot harder to poz with an undetectable poz guy. I think you need to keep your options open to all guys and if the one you fall for is poz, just be very open about your concerns. Be open minded and evaluate the options you have. It's not easy finding a life partner. Narrowing your options will make more unlikely that you will find one. take your time and let it happen.