Spermpig

PART TWO: Black Santa pays a visit “You want another gift from Santa, kiddo?” he panted, as he was drilling my ass with no mercy. “Fuck yeah, Santa! Empty that sack!” I growled. I was bent over the makeup table (again) in the janky Santa Village Gingerbread house, while skeezy Mall Santa was raw dogging my ass. With a quiet “Unnnggghhh” I felt his ginormous cock start throbbing deep in my guts. A few strokes on my own erection brought my load out. Out of respect, I aimed for the floor under the table, instead of spackling the makeup mirror again. This was the third time I’d been back to visit in the week since our first fuck, and it was getting tougher and tougher to come up with excuses for mom as to why I was home so late. But evidently I was a fucking whore for massive cocks- a person who would lie to baby jesus for the opportunity to get dicked down. After every time Carl and I fucked, I would jack off multiple times a day thinking about how good it felt to take that 9 incher of his. After that first breeding session, it was only a matter of time before I went back for seconds…. About 3 days as it turned out. And then just about every three or so days after. I was becoming so regular that Eric (Santa’s little helper) and I were kind of becoming buddies. He’d see me coming and give me a big hug when I got there. The previous time, he even joined in a little. He mostly smoked pot and watched Carl and I fuck while jacking his dick. But eventually I did coax him into letting me suck him off and feel him shoot in my mouth. It was hot, even if Eric is a bit of a twink and not really my type. I think we all know what my type is: daddies. Or more accurately- HUNG daddies. As Santa’s raw dick slithered from my ass, Carl said, “Hey kid, what are you doing this tomorrow? Think you can come back for another round?” “You want me to come back on a Friday night, two days before Christmas? I dunno if I can swing it—mom is getting suspicious of my absences. She thinks I’m on drugs. She checks my eyes when I get home and she’s been leaving anti-drug pamphlets on the kitchen table. And I know she searches my room when I’m not home.” “Well, it’ll be worth it if you can. Remember that other Santa I wanted to introduce you to? Well ‘Big Terry’ happens to be available Friday, and after hearing me rave about that perky ass of yours, he really wants a turn. I’ve been talking you up good, so he’s real excited to ‘meat’ up.” He did the cheesy air quotes around meat and chuckled, so I’d get the double entendre. Carl had mentioned after our first fuck that he knew of this Black Santa that he’d played with on occasion. And lord help me, but I have to admit I was intrigued by the thought. First of all, it was a chance to be fucked by another older man. And secondly, apparently I was an insatiable cumslut. Furthermore, I was discovering that I was the stereotypical “size queen”, much to my chagrin. And, truth be told, I was definitely curious about the black thing. I’d never been with a black guy before-- I mean, heck, I’d barely been with ANYONE before Carl. Really just a handful of guys from my school. And since I was now exploring sex in a bigger way, why not explore a different ethnicity while I was at it? Plus, if what Carl eluded to was true… this Terry was “big” in exactly the way I liked. “I’ll try.” I said with a shrug. “Eight o’clock again? Here?” “No- needs to be Seven because it’s Friday. And Kid let me just say… if you think I’m big? Well, Terry is in a different class. I can’t wait to see that massive black dong of his sliding into that little muscle ass of yours! Just make sure you’re good-n-ready for some fucking.” “Well, I’ll do my best to come up with something so I can be here.” I promised as I was pulling on my clothes. “You better! Because hell if I’m taking his dick if you don’t make it!” When I got home from Carl’s latest cuntwrecking, I had to endure mom’s scrutiny again. While she sniffed my breath and checked my arms for track marks, I decided to tell my mom a whopper of a lie. I told her I would be hanging out with “the gang” at the Mall again on Friday for some last minute Christmas shopping, and that I’d be home later. I knew my friends were really doing a movie night at Brit-Brit’s, which I’d begged off, saying I needed to spend time with mom. Naturally this could all blow up in my face if mom decided to call one of them, but when it came to hanging with my friends, mom generally trusted me. Friday dawned and I woke up with the nervous knot in my stomach. I couldn’t stop thinking about the impending fuck later that evening, and I was very distracted all day. I could barely focus at school at all. I thought about jacking off at lunch, but I didn’t want to spoil the sexual tension that was brewing. Thank god it was the last day before break and most teachers had already checked out until the new year. It was mostly movies and fun in the classes. Unfortunately I had so much time to kill before the scheduled meetup. I hung at the school library until 4:30, then went to a coffee shop and read for awhile and played games on my phone. Then when I was so restless I couldn’t stand it, I drove to the shithole mall. So here I was… again. Nervous as fuck and questioning every decision I ever made which led me to this point. Was I really the kind of kid who was gonna let sketchy Santa bring in some unknown rando to fuck my ass? What was I doing?? Since I was early, I aimlessly did laps around trying to quell the butterflies in my stomach while debating myself. My mind was racing again, matching my heart. Why was I turned on by the idea of another older man fucking me? Why does sex with strange men seem to be such an irresistible draw? Is this really who I am? And what if the other Santa was so big I couldn’t take it? Or what if it hurt me? I definitely thought about just leaving—doing a no-show and just being a “good boy” instead. I have to admit… it was very close. I actually headed for the exit more than once. But I kept thinking about “Big” Terry. Wondering what he’d be like. Wondering how big his cock would be. Wondering what it would be like to be used by TWO santas? And just like a gay man, my dick made the decision for me. Well, the appointed time rolled around, and my feet led me down to Santa’s village like I was on autopilot. It was deserted- Eric wasn’t even there, and the sign said closed—per usual. I crossed the velvet rope and went up to the Gingerbread house and knocked softly. “Come on in, kid,” Carl said. I casually looked around to make sure I wasn’t being watched too closely, and then I snuck inside. I could instantly tell it was just Carl and me in the place. “Oh,” I said, a bit crestfallen. And Carl just chuckled. “Don’t worry kid, he’s on his way. Had to meet up with his parole officer first,” he says. “Oh? Um…,” I said again... a bit more brightly. But my guts clenched a little bit. Parole officer?? I looked at Carl questioningly. Carl seemed to know what I was thinking. “Yeah, kid, Terry and I met in the joint. We were the two biggest swingin’ dicks in the place, and we tag teamed a ton of guys. Some even actually wanted it.” He smiled darkly. “I’m the one who got him this gig after he got out. It’ll be good to tag fuck with him again. It’s been too long.” I swallowed nervously. “Don’t worry, kiddo, we ain’t gonna prison rape you. This is just about having some fun.” “Ok,” I nodded. “I’m pretty nervous, but also kinda anxious and excited… you know?” Carl smiled. “Damn, I sure hope you’re ready for this kiddo. You know what they say about your eyes being bigger than your stomach? Well… same concept applies here, but for your asshole. So let’s get you warmed up some. Why don’t you strip down and then get that pretty mouth on my dick?” I didn’t have to be asked twice. Plus, I figured getting down to business might calm my nerves a little. I quickly stripped down to my jockstrap (left over from gym class today) and then knelt in front of Carl. Carl knew what I liked by now. He left the Santa beard and pants with the suspenders on—and was wearing his grubby wife beater. He just undid the fly in the red fur pants and hauled his cock and balls out for me to have unfettered access. And then he sat there and smoked and drank some Jack while I worked him. When he flopped out his junk, I sighed audibly and Carl chuckled. God his cock was beautiful! I worshiped it every time we got together. Three hands worth, and uncut. And pretty meaty. And just… wow. It was amazing to behold. And to suck. I found I really liked to play with the foreskin with my tongue and fingers, and work him well with my mouth while I tugged down on his low hangers. I was getting better at taking him. I could work him a bit down my throat now—not far, and I would still gag pretty often. But I could at least get about half of him in my mouth now. Which he loved. “Goddamn boy—sometime you gotta let me cum in your mouth! Although we both know where you like the cum best,” he said salaciously. I made appreciative humming noises while sucking away. I had Carl at full mast and leaking precum when there was a quiet knock at the door. “That you, Terry?” Carl called out. “Yeah,” came the deep gravelly response from the other side of the door. “Come on in,” Carl said, “And lock the door behind you.” I paused with Carl’s dick in my mouth, watching the door to catch a glimpse of Big Terry. The door opened, and all light from the mall was basically eclipsed by the figure wedging his way inside. Big Terry was, well… big. Very big. He had to be like 6’5” and lord knows how heavy. Like 280 maybe? But not really fat. No, he was just thick and heavily muscled which I could see when he wrestled himself out of his coat. And when he pulled off his sweatshirt—heavily tattooed as well. He had a thick, dark beard on him and close cropped hair. Terry locked the door and looked down at me with Carl’s dick in my mouth. He was such an imposing figure I involuntarily shuddered. He smirked. “So, dis the hungry little fuckboy you got, huh? Damn! He a little thing! Sure hope he don’t rip in half!” Terry laughed, rich and low. “Terry, this is Kyle. Kyle? Terry.” I pulled my mouth off of Carl’s dick and sort of half waved at Terry. I looked away quickly, afraid to meet his eyes. “Yeah, we’re gonna have to be a little gentle with him,” Carl says matter of factly. “At least to start with. We don’t to put the boy in the infirmary for Christmas. But trust me when I say, this kid can take some cock once he gets going. He just took another load from me last night and he’s already hungry for more.” “Damn, we get to rawdog him, Carl?” Terry says with raised eyebrows. “Oh yeah. Didn’t I tell you? Kid loves the cum deep.” “Fuuuuck yeah,” Terry hummed. “My bitch always be making me wear a condom so she don’t get pregnant. Again. Half the time the fuckers rip anyway so I know imma be payin for another abortion soon. It’ll feel good to fuck the old fashioned way.” “Just like the good ol days on Cellblock D,” Carl chimed in. And they both shared a laugh. Carl poured Terry some Jack and then flexed his cock at me. I went back to sucking and he moaned appreciatively. I stole a glance at Big Terry while working Carl. He was watching me work Carl’s dick with dark, hooded eyes. Terry started to rub his crotch while staring at me and licking his lips I could see a hefty swell starting in his sweat pants, and I was anxious to see just what I was getting myself into. Or more accurately, what I was going to be getting into myself. With Terry’s mass in the gingerbread house, there really didn’t seem to be any room left to maneuver. I started wondering how all this was all gonna work. Thankfully Carl evidently had some experience in these matters and he became the scene director. Carl could sense that I was anxious to get a peek at Terry. After another minute or so of me sucking, Carl stood up, leaving me on my knees. He shimmied his way behind me and then stood me up and bent me over gently. As Carl was kneeling behind me, he said, “Terry, why don’t you let him suck you a bit while I get him nice n wet.” Then he dove his tongue into my pucker which Carl knew was the key to unlocking my inhibitions. I moaned and made grabbing motions for Terry to move closer. He was still in the dark sweat pants and a sleeveless T, and the left leg of the sweats was already tenting out from his body. I reached up and tugged down the waistband to finally get a glimpse of what would be wrecking my hole later and… O. Holy. Beercan. Now I know that guys that are girthy always compare their cocks to beercans. You hear it a lot, and they even take pics of their cocks next to soda cans and shampoo bottles, etc. Butmost of them aren’t really beercan sized, they’re just thicker than normal dicks. But Terry? It was legit FAT. When I reached out my hand to touch it, it was as wide as my hand across the four knuckles. And it wasn’t just fat in like one spot. Or just flat and wide. The entire length looked round and about equal in girth. With a bulbous, shiny, ruddy purple knob of a head at the end. And it wasn’t just ridiculously fat. Oh no, It was long, too. Terry wasn’t even fully hard yet, but Jesus fucking Christ. It arced down and away from his body. There was no telling exactly how big he’d be once fully aroused and I caught myself wondering if he had enough extra blood to fill that cunt wrecker! “Hoooooooly… Fuck…,” I whispered while grabbing it at the root. The girth wasn’t human. My hand didn’t even come close to touching around it. Fuck “beercan”… it was more like a bottle of SmartWater. “Shit, I ain’t even hard yet,” Terry says while taking a swig of Jack. “Can… can… your girlfriend take all that?” I stammered. “Naw. She cry when I throw it to her. She say she like it, but she sure try to run away when I’m hitting it. You ain’t gonna run now, are ya? Carl said you can take it all. Like all dat prison ass. Bitches in there would take it all… eventually. Hell, there was even this one guard….” “Brad.” Carl says while his face is still have buried in my ass. “Yeah, Brad. That fucker… Jesus. I miss that ass. That fuckin married, muscle cracker sonofabitch really got off on being a pussy bitch for black cock” Great. So Carl promised I could take it and now I had to try to compete with this Brad guy. I said a silent prayer that I would be a god bottom for him— or at the very least not fail miserably.. The talk about Brad and fucking seemed to get Terry more aroused. He was definitely almost at full mast, and it was massive. I was happy to see he was not quite as long as Carl at probably a solid 8 inches , but damn. He was probably twice as thick. The thought trying to get it inside me made me break out in a sweat. But- I’m a size queen, so I couldn’t wait any longer. As Carl tongued my ass, I slowly snuck out my tongue and licked the tip of Terry’s cock. It jumped appreciatively. With one hand on the table for balance and one gripping Terry’s cock, I slowly worked my mouth over his head. Let me just say—sucking him was impossible. Absolutely fucking impossible. He was just too damn thick. I honestly don’t know how anyone could blow him, unless they had an inordinately large mouth or a dislocated jaw. I was able to get his head in my mouth (barely), and just a fraction of the shaft.. and that was it. I couldn’t really even work it for fear of grazing my teeth on him. And there wasn’t much room for my tongue to dig around it. So I was basically forced to sort of scrub my tongue on the underside of his head. That being said, I gave it the ol college try. I did what I could. Slurped and sucked. Licked up and down his shaft- which had this deliciously thick vein running the length of it. Cupped his balls and worked him as best I could while using my hand to milk up precum- which Terry was oozing galore. And Terry moaned appreciatively along with what I was able to do, even in my limited capacity. “Carl, imma need to fuck this little bitch soon, so you best be gettin to opening him up,” Terry growled. Carl didn’t need any more prompting. He stood up, and reached behind the makeup mirror and brought out a little Christmas gift bag which I saw reflected in the mirror. “What’s that?” I asked, taking my mouth off Terry’s dick just long enough to enquire. “Oh, this is a little gift bag from Eric. He knew Terry was coming, so he got you a couple things to help out.” And with that Carl pulled out a small bottle of Swiss Navy silicone lube, and a shiny metal aerosol can of some sort. “He figured the silicone lube would help things slide a bit better,” Carl said while pumping out a healthy amount into his hand. I felt him lube up my hole, and then watched him stroke his cock in the mirror with it to get himself ready. “What’s the silver can?” I asked. “Maximum Impact spray poppers,” Carl said. “You hold off on those until Terry is ready to fuck you. They’re stronger than the other poppers- You’ll be glad to have them.” I went back to sucking on Terry and I felt Carl position his head at my ass. Then he handed me the old bottle of poppers. I took a small whiff, and Carl began to slide in. Let me just say- the silicone lube was a godsend! I made a mental note to thank Eric later for his thoughtfulness. After being fucked by Vaseline, this felt like a dream. Carl’s dick, while still stretching the heck out of me, slid in with virtually no issue. He hit my second ring, pulled all the way out, relubed, and slid back in—this time to the hilt. So. Fucking. Amazing. When Carl popped beyond my second ring, it sent me into a frenzy. I started jacking and sucking the hell out of Terry’s monster, while Carl slowfucked me deep. I was hitting the poppers and soon tossing my ass back onto Carl with some fierceness. I was worried that after being railed by him yesterday I wasn’t going to be able to take him today, but the opposite seemed true. I was in full on fuck mode, everything was lined up and working, and couldn’t seem to get enough of his dick. Terry pulled a bit away from me, stood back, and crossed his arms in front of his massive chest. He kept his massive dick just out reach while he watched Carl fuck me. I actually appreciated this, as trying to be a good bottom AND also trying to deal with Terry’s massive cock was just too distracting for me. It was hard to do both effectively and maintain my balance. Besides, right now I really needed to focus on all the pleasure that was happening in my ass! Carl pumped some more lube on his dick while fucking me, and then I felt some additional pressure at my hole. Carl actually worked a finger into me during one of his thrusts in, and I could feel the pinch at my hole and the pressure of the extra stretching. And after a few minutes, more pressure and I knew Carl was working in another finger. And then another. Jesus, my hole was hurting a bit, but it also felt glorious. I kept hitting the poppers and I was really gooning out while Terry egged us on. “Fuck yeah! Get that pussy ready for me! You ready for dis meat, bud? You want dis big black cock? You ready for a cuntwreckin’, white boy?” All I could do was nod. “Ok, Terry. I think I got him about as open as I can. Now, go a bit easy on him—I don’t want that hole ruined before I get my nut.” “We’ll see,” Terry chuckled. “My dick ain’t been this excited to fuck for awhile!” I felt Carl pull his fingers and cock out of me. God I felt so empty! And then he gently spun me around so my ass faced Terry. Terry pulled my jock down in one swift motion. I stepped out of it and handed it to me. “I want that ass naked,” he said as he did it. He then added some more lube to my hole with his thick fingers, and I heard him slicking up his dick with several more pumps of lube. “Now might be a good time to hit those other poppers,” Terry said. I could feel him sliding his cockhead up and down my ass crack. It felt like a fist back there. I looked at Carl, confused. He took my jock from me, grabbed the Maximum Impact, and sprayed it into the cup portion of my jockstrap. Then he handed it back to me. “Put this over your mouth and nose and inhale—and then get ready to go to Mars.” I did like he said. At first I wasn’t sure what the deal was- other than the different smell. But then… whoa. Everything got very fuzzy and warm and my vision blurred. I got tingly and hot all over, and that’s when I heard Carl say, “Now.” And Terry started to enter me. JESUS! Fuck me sideways, it hurt like a motherfucker!! Even with the spray popper high, I cried out “OW!OW!OW!OW!OW!” and tried to push my hand back on Terry to stop him. To his credit, he stopped and didn’t try to force things. He pulled out, relubed his head, and started in again. Slowly. Back and forth. Easing it a bit further each time. It literally felt like I was being fucked with a baseball bat. Carl fed me some more spray poppers, and with the slow in and out motion, Terry was ever so slowly working himself inside me. Just about when I thought I couldn’t take much more, he slid out, relubed, and pushed back in with a steady motion. I was sort of amazed that my ass suddenly seemed to cooperate. Yes it hurt. Yes it felt like my hole was tearing a bit and it burned like hell. But it was also going in. I think it was maybe because I finally stopped tensing up and fighting it. Terry’s massive hands found my hips, and I felt him pull me back toward him. His massive knob hit my second ring… and stopped. Damn I wanted it to go further—all the way in—but fuck it hurt, too. I wondered if maybe this was as far as he would go. But this wasn’t Terry’s first time at the rodeo, and he knew how to use his weapon. He started to slow fuck me—right there. Right where his head was gently nudging my second ring. Kind of like what he did at the beginning to my butthole. Slowly working it. Teasing the depths of my ass. Getting me used to his girth. To that big head. “Carl, give him one more hit and we’ll be home free,” Terry said. Carl sprayed my jock again, and I inhaled deeply. I think Terry felt me relax, because with a slow but steady push he slid his massive prong up past my second ring. “Ugggggghhhhnnnnnnhhhhhhhhh,” was about all I could manage with an elated exhale when his head popped in and he bottomed out inside me. All the tension left my body and I could feel his pubes on my asscheeks as he was buried in me to the hilt. The feeling of all that dick inside me was… well, it’s indescribable. I was so full. So stretched. So fucking turned on! I wondered dimly if this is why guys liked being fisted? My body started to shiver and buck almost uncontrollably as Terry made micro thrusts deep inside me. I kept exclaiming, “Oh! Oh! OH!” every time Terry bottomed out. It was like nothing I’d felt before- like my full body being on the edge of a big sneeze. “Kid’s having an anal orgasm, Terry,” Carl said appreciately. “Told you this little cocksucker was built to fuck!” What Terry was doing to me was making me go berserk. I grabbed Carl’s cock and basically forced him into my mouth. I was in a fuck frenzy, and I didn’t even care that Carla cock was covered in lube and had been deep in the nether regions of my butthole. I had more of Carl’s cock down my throat than I ever had managed before- like part way down my esophagus. And while doing this, Terry started to fuck me with more of his dick. Longer and longer strokes were entering my ass. He was now giving me almost his full shaft on each thrust, and his head was punching my second ring like a prize fighter. And I couldn’t get enough. My whole body was vibrating as he fucked me as I freely choked and gagged myself on Carl. “Whoa kid, slow down!” Carl commanded. “I’m getting close and I wanna knock up that ass for Terry. He loves a cummy cunt.” Terry pulled from me abruptly, and he reached down and grabbed my legs behind my knees. And then he hoisted me up and back into his chest in one smooth motion. He was leaning back a little and holding my legs open for Carl. And without missing a beat, Carl spit on his cock and shoved it inside me. After Terry, taking Carl was a piece of cake. In fact, it felt fucking incredible. All the long dicking and second ring punching, but with none of the pain. It was just all pleasure upon pleasure upon pleasure, and I could now actually squeeze my hole around Carl’s dick and grip him on the pull outs. Carl was really throwing the meat to me. Harder than he ever had before and he had this greedy, happy look on his face. I reached forward and tugged Carl’s nipples through his wife beater as he plowed me mercilessly. “Fuck boy! Here cums a big gift!” I just looked into Carl’s eyes and nodded as he scrunched up his face with his orgasm. “Uggggggghhhhhh!” he grunted and I could feel every throb deep inside me, just as before. Pulse after pulse of sperm dumping deep into my guts. I squeezed and pulsed my ass around his dick to make him shudder and buck. Eventually his orgasm subsided, and he pulled out of me unceremoniously. “There you go, Terry. Now scrub that load into his guts. Get him pregnant!” Carl backed away and sat on the edge of the makeup table, sweaty and exhausted. His softening cock drooling a last bit of semen onto his Santa pants. Terry dropped me down and then sat in the chair- his cock sticking up obscenely. “Ride this dick, bitch,” he commanded. I pumped a bit more lube onto his dick, took another hit of spray poppers, and then impaled myself onto Terry in one fell swoop. The pain and pleasure of it were glorious. “DAMN,” Terry moaned, as I started to work my ass up and down on his massive tool. I was using the arms of the chair to help steady and hover myself as I reverse cowgirled the fuck out of him. I was still in fuck frenzy mode, so I was really going to town on his dick. Grinding down. Sliding up and down fast. Working just the head. Gripping him as best I could with my wrecked anus to try to stroke out a load. Terry’s hard cock seemed to get impossibly harder and thicker inside me. I felt his hands on my hips again. He gripped me hard and started to physically lifting and lowering my body up and down on his dick. He was using me like a human sized fleshlight, taking his pleasure out of my hole. I wasn’t really even helping him— I just kept my balance and let him throw me onto his dong. Feeling Terry’s strength and being used like this was the last straw for me. I’d been on the edge so long, my orgasm surprised me. With a gasp I started unloading my balls. Gobbets of cum started spraying everywhere. Each impact of Terry’s dick inside me threw bits of my seed everywhere. After the first few spurts, Carl bent down put his mouth on my dick to collect the mess. My orgasm triggered Terry. “Aww fuck, I’m about to nut!” he panted, and then he slammed me down onto his crotch hard. I felt that massive head unleash jet after jet of hot semen inside me. Terry made little moans with each pulse of his cock and I could feel his massive head swell with each spurt . And I swear could actually FEEL his cum hitting deep inside me. I definitely felt the volume- as my ass started feeling uncomfortably full. It was surreal. After all of the seismic quakes of our respective orgasms subsided, I collapsed back into Terry’s chest, as his hands gently caressed my nipples, making me shiver over and over. “Shit, Carl. Dat was good pussy,” Terry sighed. “I fuckin told you. It was good to tag team a hole again, wasn’t it?” Carl said. Terry nodded in agreement. “Was I… was I… as good… as Brad?” I finally panted. Both Carl and Terry chuckled softly. “Aww baby,” Terry purred, “there ain’t no comparison.” He kissed my neck and to emphasize his point, he flexed his cock a little inside me. After sitting a bit longer with Terry’s softening (yet still prodigious) cock still inside me, I slowly stood up and did the long, slow pullout. His big head popped free and a hefty blob of semen dropped out of me. “Jesus—I don’t think any of my internal organs are where they are supposed to be,” I said as my legs wobbled a bit. My hole was on fire and I had an ache deep in my guts where they’d punched my second ring repeatedly. Slowly we all got dressed. Terry left first, saying he really needed to get home. He was also worried about how he was gonna explain not wanting to fuck his woman later. “Guess I got a headache,” he quipped. Carl and I left the Gingerbread hut together. I wished him a merry Christmas, and he wished me one as well. As Carl headed for his exit he waved and said, “Until next time.” And then he was out into the night. I hobbled onward, with my ass on fire and leaking into my jeans. I paused and looked back wistfully at that sad, sketchy, Santa village.. Christmas was in a couple days, and after that Santa’s village would be packed away until next year.. Deep inside I think I knew there wouldn’t be a ‘next time’. I mean how I would find him and where we might fuck if we were to hook up again. I gingerly walked out to my car and headed for home. Epilogue: It turns out that I never saw Carl or Terry again after that night. And it would be many years until I found cocks of comparable size to remind my hole why I love the big ones. But that didn’t stop me from looking and filling the void with lots (and LOTS) of other, more modestly equipped men. You’d be surprised at how many older, married guys want a 20 year old piece of ass! And as for Carl and his Christmas gifts? Well, I didn’t grasp the full meaning of it until I got sick around new years with the flu. Mom said it was going around— just not this particular flu. I discovered later at student health my freshman year of college that Carl and Terry indeed knocked me up and I was HIV positive. A Christmas gift I would have forever. And one I definitely planned on regifting as often as I could.

Working on it.

We’ll have to see about a part 2… although I have some ideas.

Because I don’t know how to link to prior shit- I’m commenting to bring this forward.

I feel like if y’all like this story- then you’ll probably like “Denial”. it’s one of the favorite ones I’ve written.

AIDS. Sick joke, right? Kind of along the lines of the classic “What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.” Only I’m not joking (although I wish I was). And yeah, I’m the “naughty boy” in this cautionary tale. It all started off innocently enough. Me and my friends were hanging at the mall after school- we used to do that a lot. Not much else to do in our town when you’re seniors in high school, just waiting to escape into the “real world”. And it was less than a month til Christmas. All the extracurricular shit was winding down for the holidays, so we had extra free time in the evenings. No play rehearsals. No band practice. So yeah, we cruised the mall. On this particular Wednesday, I was hanging with Matty, MJ (short for Margaret Jean), and Brittany (aka Brit-Brit). We were doing our normal shit- trying on crap clothes and modeling for each other. Drooling over Apple store products. Having DQ. And people watching. I don’t remember who had the idea (not me) but someone said “Hey, let’s go visit Santa!” I thought we were a bit old for this crap, but everyone thought it would be funny. Revert to being kids again and tell him what we wanted for Christmas. Shit like that. I wasn’t really game, but I went along with them because hey. They’re my best friends after all. Anyway, it’s midweek and before 5 pm, so the Mall is fairly dead and there’s almost no line for Santa. Great, I think. We’re really doing this. I hang back and let them all go first. I figure I might be able to bow out once they all have a turn. Before I go any further, I feel like I should kinda set the stage a bit more. So the town we live in isn’t big. It’s big enough for a mall, a factory, a prison, two grocery stores, a Walmart and one high school, but that’s about it. Our town is, how should I put this… a shithole. It’s pretty run down and tragic. Not like Stonebrook, where all the fancy folk live. No, we’re definitely the “other” kind of town. The kind of town people don’t visit unless you have to. Like where the whole place is on the wrong side of the tracks. Anyway, as you can probably imagine, the mall is also pretty run down. It’s dying a slow, horrible death- kinda like most malls these days. Lots of vacant stores. Macy’s is the biggest thing we got. And Kohls. But that’s about it. I’m pretty sure you can picture what it’s like. Tis the season, so the place is decorated for Christmas (albeit poorly), and in the center atrium is where the big, phony tree is located. Along with the phony Santa, and the phony elves (actually elf, singular), and phony Gingerbread house and reindeer. The tree, the house, and the decorations have definitely seen better days, and there are burnt out lights on the tree and crap. It’s a real fucking Christmas wonderland, I tell ya. We get there and there’s no line to speak of. There’s one kid with his mom and they are finishing up, and that’s it. And I can pretty much see why. Now that we’re closer, the whole “Santa Village” looks more like “Santa’s Trailer Park”. It’s pretty sad, and more than a bit sketch. And the Santa? Definitely as sketch as they come. Kind of a greyish beard, and it looks like his suit hasn’t been cleaned since the chimneys from last year. We’re talking serious homeless vibes. Total cringe. Undeterred and buoyed by her goofy, giggly spirit, Brit-Brit goes first as we all hang back. Matty and MJ are laughing and waving and enjoying it all. Taking snaps with their phone cameras. And I’m just watching dirty Santa probably getting his holly jollies from having a cute teen girl wiggle on his lap. I mean, let’s be honest. If you’re an old dude working as a Santa midweek at a rundown mall- you’ve got to be some kind of [banned word]… amiright? Anyway, after whispering what she wants to Santa and having a grand ol time, Brit-Brit hops off his lap and comes back to our pack. Full of good cheer, Brit and MJ push Matty up there next. He trots up plops down on Santa’s lap- hamming it up for us. Because it’s Matt, our leading man. He’s 6 feet of big grins and affable charm. Naturally he goes for the “aw shucks” schtick, miming asking for a football for Christmas. What a goofball- which is why I’m secretly in love with him. I’m still hanging back and MJ goes next. She’s all business as she marches up and takes her turn. It looks like she’s really getting serious, pleading her case with Santa and trying to wheedle her way onto the nice list (cuz we all know she’s permanently on the naughty list). Just ask her parents. Soon MJ is done and back and they all turn to me, expectantly. “Naw guys, I don’t think I’m down. Not really my speed,” I say with a shrug. This was met with a cacophony from the others. They would have NONE of this. I had to do it. It was fun! They wanted pictures. And above all they wanted to see me, the shy one, on Santa’s lap. I was told it was a moral imperative and that I was NOT getting out of doing it, even if they had to drag me up there. At this point, I knew it was better to just get it over with than fight it. I probably could have just walked away toward the food court, but I knew they’d be disappointed. I was already the “fourth one” in the group, and I wanted them to keep inviting me along places… if for no other reason than to be close to Matty. So I relented- but not without making a big show of giving in. Sighing. Eye rolls. The works. So I started my slow, reluctant walk up to Santa. The closer I got, the more oddly nervous I became. Like, there was something making my tummy clench a bit. I think it had something to do with the way Santa was looking at me—like I was the last rib at the Golden Corral buffet. Yeah, dirty Santa was definitely giving me the eye. I watched his gaze scan down my body lecherously and come to rest at my groin in my grey sweatpants. I was suddenly quite self-conscious about what I was wearing. The last few steps to him were agonizingly slow, and I was seriously debating about turning around. But that nervous excitement in my gut couldn’t be denied. I turned around to sit on his knee, but suddenly I felt his hands firmly at my hips. As I was sitting, he pulled me back and fully into his lap, all while doing his best jovial HO HO HO! My friends were all laughing and eating it up. I felt my face flush a bit with embarrassment- not just because of this whole Santa scene, but also because when I sat down, I could most definitely feel Santa’s package pressed against my asscrack. Fucking [banned word]. All of them I tell ya. And something was telling me this Santa was a gay [banned word]. “Ho Ho HO young man! And what is YOUR name?” Skeezy Santa asked . Up close, his makeup was terrible. Definitely theater makeup applied with a heavy hand, all caked and cracked. Over the phony rosy cheeks and highlighted by heavy eyeliner, his dark eyes twinkled. “Ummm, it’s Kyle,” I managed to reply. “Oh yes. Kyyyyyle. I remember you,” he nodded theatrically. “You do?” I asked naively. “Of COURSE! From my lists!” he laughed. “So. Have you been a good boy this year… or a bad boy?” He asked somewhat conspiratorily. “Um, shouldn’t you already know? Because lists,” I say sarcastically. (In case you couldn’t tell, I’m the sarcastic one in our group). That’s when Santa looks at me and for a second it’s like he’s looking into my soul. “Oh, I know exactly what you’ve been up to- I just enjoy hearing handsome lads plead their cases.” I gulp and am suddenly quite uncomfortable with all of this while my stomach continues doing backflips. “I, ah, I guess I’ve been pretty good this year. I’m getting good grades. Helping mom at home. Staying out of trouble. Stuff like that.” “So you have… so you have,” he says nodding again. And then he leans in closer and whispers “And yet you’ve also been a bit… naughty… haven’t you Kyle?” I catch the smell of cigarettes and a faint whiff of alcohol. He shifts a bit underneath me, and I can feel him stiffening inside his red velvet pants. From what I can tell, Santa’s proverbial stocking is definitely hung. Feeling his massive member pressing against my ass makes me shiver, and I feel a bit like I’m going to hurl. The simultaneous feelings of revulsion and titilation really mess me up. “I don’t know… what… what you’re implying…” I stammer. “Oh, I think you do,” he whispers even more quietly, punctuating it with a flex of his cock. “You’ve been more than a bit naughty this year—with some school chums, I’d wager Perhaps even your friend Matt?” I feel my face go hot with shame and embarrassment. He couldn’t possibly know my secret. That I liked guys. And worse- that I’ve had sex with a handful of guys from school. Sure it was mostly just blowjobs, but not always. And since this past summer, I’d been getting fucked about every other day by Jimmy Pulaski from the swim team. That was totally our secret to the grave! I could feel Santa’s eyes boring hungrily into me. “Oh Kyle,” he chided. “You know the song. I see you when you’re sleeping. I know when you’re awake. I know if you’ve been bad… watching gay porn on your phone and jacking off at night. Sucking off boys at sleep overs. Fantasizing about getting fucked by your cute friend Matt.” “I’m not familiar with those particular lyrics,” I manage to squeak out. This makes him laugh, like for real-real. “I know EXACTLY what kind of boy you are, Kyle. I can spot your kind a mile away,” he whispers with a grin. “And I’m pretty sure you can feel what kind of Santa I am.” Again, he grinds his now wickedly hard cock into my ass as he makes a show of adjusting me on his lap. And again I’m mortified- and aroused. Santa lets out a good round of Ho-ho-hos and I steal a glance at my friends. They are loving seeing me so uncomfortable. If only they knew why. “Oh Kyle. You have definitely been the highlight of my day! So here’s what Santa can do for you for Christmas. If you consider yourself a nice boy, then by all means, go back to your friends. Have fun here at the mall. Then go on home to your mom like a good lad, and I’ll make sure you get a little something under the tree this year.” Then he lowered his voice and the phony Santa schtick disappeared. “But if ya feel like being naughty? Well. I have a special BIG gift for you. And if you want that special gift- meet me here at 8 when my Santa’s village closes tonight.” He then mugged for the camera, and his Elf helper took our picture with a knowing smirk. I looked at the proof, but declined to purchase it. In it Santa looked like a sleazy Walt Whitman, and I looked like a deer caught in headlights. I rejoined my friends and we were off in a cloud of laughter. Matty and MJ were chatting loudly about how skeevy the Santa was, like it was all some big joke. Brit was just telling them to leave the old guy alone and that he probably really needed the job. And I was quiet- trying not to feel the ghost imprint of his cock against my ass. My friends and I hung around the mall for a couple more hours—hitting the food court for Sbarro and Egg Rolls, and generally bumming around and shooting the shit. I tried my best to be present and join in the conversations, but Santa’s words were rattling around my head. Of course I was a nice boy. I was just gonna head home tonight… right? So why was I even thinking about the way his big cock felt as I sat on his lap. And my was my stomach still all fluttery while I was thinking about it. 7:30 rolled around and we all decided it was time to beat it for home. We headed for the exit, and just as I was leaving I startled myself by saying, “Oh shit. I just remembered! I was gonna pick up something for mom for Christmas while I was here. You guys go on- I’ll catch you tomorrow at school.” We said our goodbyes , and suddenly I was alone. I was alone at the Mall. Where a sketch as fuck, hung Santa propositioned me. And I was actually entertaining the idea. What. The literal FUCK. Was I doing? The next 30 minutes were agony. I paced the mall, debating with myself. I should just go home. But I was curious. I wouldn’t have to do anything. I could maybe just ask him how he know about me? Was I obvious? No, I should just go home now. Forget this weird Santa business. But maybe I could just… see his dick? Not like actually touch it or anything because gross. But it felt massive. Like waaaay bigger than Jimmy’s. Or even Tony Scarpucci’s, which gagged the hell out of me that one time when he got drunk at homecoming. Why the fuck was I even entertaining this? He’s a pervy old fuck! I should just… And then it was 8:02 pm. And I found myself standing outside Santa’s sketchy village. The sign was flipped to closed, and the lights were off at the Gingerbread house. The elf guy was already out of costume and was helping to tidy things up. Santa looked up and saw me standing there and smiled. “I was wondering if you’d show up, kiddo,” he said. I just stood there and looked at my feet. “I can handle the rest, Eric. You can go on home. Now,” Santa said pointedly to Eric. Eric looked from Santa to me and smirked again. “Is Santa doing some special gift-giving tonight?” Eric asked breezily. Santa lay a finger on the side of his nose and winked. And with that, Eric said a cheery “have fun… and good luck, dude!” and left us alone. Santa turned to me. “So Kyle. I need to get out of this makeup and stuff. Come on into the house here and keep me company?” And he headed for the Gingerbread house door. “I thought this was just some phony prop,” I said. “It is,” he replied. “But it’s also our break room/dressing room. It’s small, but it works. And best of all, it’s private.” And with that I followed him inside. He locked the door behind us. Inside was definitely small. There was a rack for costumes, three vinyl chairs, and a small table/mirror setup with those round globe makeup lights. Scattered about the table was makeup, tissues, an ashtray and other detritus. It smelled like cigarettes and B.O. And … something else I couldn’t identify. “Cozy,” I quipped. He laughed. “Take a seat, kiddo.” Santa reached into a bag on the floor and pulled out a bottle of Jack Daniels. He unscrewed the top and took a healthy swig. He looked over at me and said, “Want a pull? Might help you relax some.” I shook my head. He just shrugged, set the bottle on the makeup table, and started to disrobe. “Oh! Um…” I kind of stammered. “Oh don’t worry. I just gotta get out of the jacket and hat and stuff.” He first took off the hat and wig and placed them on a stand. Then he took off the dirty jacket and the pads that were underneath to make him appear chubby. This Santa was actually quite thin underneath the padding and baggy clothing. He was nearly emaciated looking, but with a slight paunch. I was reminded of the Christmas Claymation special where Mrs. Claus says “Nobody likes a skinny Santa.” I kinda did. Soon Santa was standing in front of me, still in his red velvet pants, but also in a dirty wife beater. He had skinny, bony arms and on his shoulder was an odd tattoo—three interlocking semicircles. He still had the beard —I assumed it was spirit gummed in place. Without the hat, Santa was mostly bald, but with a rim of close cropped silver hair. I just stared up at him. “The illusion shattered, huh kid?” He said with a smile. “And by the way… my name is Carl.” Then he sat at the makeup mirror so he could start removing his makeup. He was old school—Vaseline and paper towels. I watched as he got to work. Our eyes met in the mirror. “So. You came back. Why?” He asked. “Honestly, I’m not sure. I guess I was just… curious?” “Curious about…?” he led. “Oh, I guess curious about how you knew I was… that I …” I trailed off. “That you were a horny little cocksucker?” He offered. “WHAT?” I shot back. “Kid, relax. It’s not like you scream “faggot” when I look at you. But we gays? We just know, ya know? Or at least I had a hunch. And you are cute as fuck, so I pushed it. Plus it was a dead night and I figured why the hell not? I might get lucky. And after your initial reactions to sitting in my lap and my… stiffness… I knew you weren’t about to blab to anyone.” “But… but how did you know about me… doing stuff… with guys?” Carl laughed at that. “Boy, you may not think it when you look at me, but I was a young faggot once too. I know what I was doing back I when I was your age. Besides, I could see the way you were looking at your friend Matt. I’ve had that same look on my face before.” My face flushed again with that. Suddenly he spun in his chair to face me. “So—while this is nice and all, let’s get down to brass tacks. Did you also come back tonight because you liked what you felt pressed up against that pretty little ass of yours?” Carl stated matter-of-factly. “Oh… um… I…” was about all I could get out. “So, that’s a yes. Yeah, all you boys seem to get turned on by big cock. Bet you’re hoping to see it too. Maybe just to see how big I really am?” he leered. I just looked away, and then nodded. “So, why don’t you help ol Saint Dick along a bit and tell me what all you’ve done with your buddy Matt?” he says as his hand drops to his lap. “I have NEVER done anything with Matt!” I say, flustered. “Well, you ain’t innocent. I can tell you’ve got some miles on ya. So tell me. Who’s fucking that tight little bubble butt of yours? Give an old horny Santa some details!” And here I was. Sitting in the broken down Gingerbread house in the middle of the dead mall with a sketchy old [banned word] Santa, and he was asking about my sex life. And I was honestly thinking about doing it. After all, I was here— and I’ve never told a soul about any of my escapades. I kinda liked the idea of speaking my truth out loud, you know? Boy, If you’d have told me this is where my day would have ended up, I’d have told you that you were smoking crack. So I took a deep breath and started to tell him about Jimmy. “The, um, most stuff I’ve done is with a guy in my class named Jimmy Pulaski. He’s on the swim team and one of the school jocks. I met him at this one girl’s birthday party over the summer. We were both drinking a little and he followed me into the bathroom because we both had to go. We both peed at the same time, and before I knew it we were making out. And then I was blowing him right there in the bathroom. It didn’t take long. Then about a week later he sees me at school and asks what I’m doing after. I tell him not much, and he invites me over because his parents don’t get home until 6. And we end up messing around again—me blowing him. Then it becomes this regular thing. And soon we go from blowjobs to him fucking me. The first time was in his bedroom after school. Mostly it’s in his bedroom, and it’s always him fucking me. He doesn’t blow me or jack me or anything- we just fuck. I mean, it’s fun I guess. I like it. Sometimes I even cum while he’s fucking me…” I’m lost in the remembrance for a moment, and then I snap out of it. My eyes dart down and I see Carl stroking himself through the red suit pants. He looks like he’s at full mast. “Ah, young lust. I remember those days well. When the straight boys just sort of fucked because it was convenient and fun. So, how’s that polack dick? Any good?” Carl inquires. “Um…yeah. It’s pretty decent. Thick. He’s uncut. Probably about 7 inches I guess? It feels good.” “No condom I’m guessing,” he says. It’s not really a question. I shake my head no. He cum in you?” “Yes,” I say quietly. “And you like that, don’t you?” Carl leers and licks his lips. “Yes,” I say again even more quietly. “And that’s what makes you a naughty boy. And I think it’s why you came back tonight.” I don’t respond, but the butterflies in my stomach are basically beating out a morse code of YESYESYES. Carl stands up slowly and his crotch is right in front of me. The red santa suit pants tent out obscenely in front of him. I sit there, frozen. “Go on, boy. You know you want to. Just unzip the pants and haul it out. It won’t hurt you… yet.” I hesitate, and he flexes it inside the pants. I can see a wet spot starting to seep through the velvet, darkening the fabric to the color of blood. I reach out slowly and brush his hardness through the pants. His dick jumps as he sucks in a sharp breath. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this,” I think. “But just a look. Just to see how big…”. And then my fingers find the fly and slowly pull down the zipper. I reach in and feel the heat pulsing from his groin. I have to fish around a bit to get him through the opening, but then there it is. This massive, ruddy, rock hard prong jutting out proudly from the santa pants. It’s hard to tell exactly how big he is, but it’s definitely the biggest dick I’ve seen. It’s of porn proportions. I grip the base of it just to feel it, and my fingers don’t touch around his girth. “Holy shit,” I manage. “I get that a lot,” he chuckles. He then reached down to also tug out his balls. He has the proverbial “old man balls” going on, but they’re equally as epic as his cock. His balls are BIG. And they HANG. They literally hang to the middle of his thighs. “Holy SHIT,” I say again. “In my youth, I spent time doing the ball stretching thing. And now gravity has taken over, especially when they’re full like they are now. After all, I had cute twink edge me up all day.” He looks down at me and winks. “They really get swinging when I’m fucking, too. They’ll swing and slap your nuts and dick.” I don’t know quite what to say to that. “Ok Kyle. Time to show me what that mouth can do. Suck me like you suck Jimmy,” he commands. “Um, I’m not sure…” I start. “Yes you are. You want it. That’s why you came here tonight. You want it all. You wanna taste it. And Once you get a taste, I bet you’re gonna want me to fuck you.” “Oh, I don’t think I could ever take THAT. It would rip me open!” I say. “You’d be surprised what a willing bottom can take,” he says. His dick jumps in front of me again, and a drop of precum squeezes out the piss slit and starts to drool down from the end in a long string. I reach out and touch it with my fingers, fascinated. And before I can even think about what I’m doing, I touch my fingers to my tongue. His precum is slightly bitter and salty. “There you go… that’s a good boy. Now, let’s get the head in your mouth.” My brain is racing again—what the fuck am I doing? Am I really going to go down on Sketchy Santa? At the MALL?? It’s getting late and I should be home. What that fuck kind of faggot am I? But then I look at that massive cock again and it hits me like a slap. I know exactly what kind of faggot I am. And I take the great knob of his cock into my mouth greedily. Carl’s head tips back and he lets out a big sigh as I start sucking him. Admittedly I don’t think I’m that good a cock sucker. I gag way too much and I really don’t know what all I should be doing. Mostly I just slurp around and move my hand up and down. Carl doesn’t seem to mind though. And jesus, he’s fucking big! I can maaaaaybe get 1/3 of him in my mouth before I gag and have to stop. I’ve heard of guys and girls deepthroating entire cocks (MJ brags that she can do it), but I can’t. His head is just too big to even think about going down my throat. I take a break from sucking and get my hands around him to sort of “measure” him. I put my right hand at the base, and my left on top of that. Then I took my right hand off and put it on top of my left… and the head of his dick was still above my thumb and forefinger. Fuck. Three full hands worth of dick. Plus the head! I also take a measure of his balls. I grab at the base of his ball sack, and his balls still hang freely below my hand. I experiment by trying to take one testicle in my mouth. Carl moans in delight as I tongue and lightly suck on one testie. There’s no way I could get both in. “You like Santa’s sack, huh boy?” Carl says. “Yeah, I do sir,” I reply as I go back to playing with his nuts. “Well, there’s lots of little toys in that sack just waiting for a good boy to receive them.” I went back to sucking his cock as best I could for awhile, but suddenly Carl steps back and away from my mouth. “Ok, boy. I think it’s time I got a closer look at that ass of yours.” He hoists me up by my armpits, spins me over to the makeup table and bends me over. “Oh, I don’t know about… I’ve never done….” I say with some trepidation. “Relax, kiddo. I’m just gonna eat that little pucker of yours. But first, let me get rid of this damn Santa beard.” In the mirror, I see him reach up and start to tug at the phony beard. “Wait! Um… can you leave the beard on?” I ask tentatively. “And… um… maybe put on the santa hat?” Carl meets my eyes in the mirror and chuckles. “Ho Ho Ho! Well it seems young Kyle has a Santa kink! You like silver daddies, Kyle? Santa types with beards? Is that what turns you on?” I blushed furiously in response. Honestly, I didn’t know why I asked. Sure, my head was always turned by older men— coaches, teachers, etc. But there was just something about this scene. The mall santa (sketchy as he was), the gingerbread house, the beard and the suit… for some reason it all enticed me. I couldn’t explain it. “Well Kyle. Let’s see if this hole is as naught and nice as I suspect it is.” Carl is now talking a bit more like Santa, and I gotta be honest. It’s doing it for me. How fucked is THAT? Carl pulls down my sweats to reveal my bare ass. I feel his bony hands pull open my ass cheeks, and then I feel his hot breath in the crack of my ass. “Fuckin beautiful,” he exhales, before diving his tongue into my quivering hole. I’ve never felt anything like this before. Nobody has ever eaten my ass, and the feeling is exquisite. The heat. The wetness. The movement of the tongue. The beard… my god. The BEARD! I can feel myself relaxing and trying to spread my legs wider, only to be hampered by the sweats binding my legs up. Carl sees what I’m doing and he deftly helps me lose my shoes and sweats. While still tonguing my fuckpucker, he pulls off my right shoe. And then he works my sweats down and off that foot. Once freed, I’m able to spread my legs wide and bend over more for Carl, so he has more access to my hole. And I’m loving every second. Mostly my eyes are closed for this, but I did open them briefly and I saw myself in the mirror. I almost didn’t recognize myself. The naked lust on my face. The blown pupils. “You’re a slut like MJ,” I thought to myself. “Only worse. You’re letting a random stranger do this. And not just a stranger—one old enough to be your grandpa.” And yeah. God help me, I fucking loved it. While Carl was buried in my butthole, I piped up and asked him. “Hey Carl? How old are you?” Carl stopped eating my ass and leaned back. “Why? How old are YOU?” he says suspiciously. “You’re a mall santa eating the ass of a young guy in your dressing house— something tells me you don’t really care how old I am,” I say. “Look kid. I ain’t no pedo. I like my boys to be old enough to know what they’re doing and appreciate this cock. And I would really prefer not to go back to prison so….” “Is that where you got that tattoo?” I gesture to his shoulder. He looks at it. “Oh yeah. That’s where I got it,” he says with a wry smile. “Well, don’t worry. As of September I’m old enough to vote and serve our country. All good.” Carl goes back to eating my ass. He pauses just long enough to say from my crack, “I’m 68.” “Wow. My grandpa Henry is only 61,” I say. “You turned off by a man 50 years your senior eating your hole, boy?” “No. Not at all. Actually, it’s kinda hot knowing that older guys are still horny for it.” And to show that he is, he redoubles his efforts on my hole. I’m not sure how long Carl ate my ass. He kept tonguing and spitting and tonguing and spitting, and occasionally teasing my hole with a finger. I could feel my back arching and my ass pressing back into his face and finger—I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t think I could take what was bound to happen next. Carl, being a savvy man of the world could read my body language. He stood up and moved behind me. Our eyes locked in the mirror as he did this. I watched as he drooled a lot of spit out onto my ass and his cock, and then I felt him slowly start to slide his massive meat against my spit slick crack. Just the feel of that much cock sliding against me has me almost cumming. Involuntarily I start moving in rhythm with his humping motion, getting that monster to slide in my crack like a Chicago footlong in a bun. I see him reach across the makeup table where he grabs the jar of Vaseline. Shit- I guess we’re going old school for this, I think. He scoops up a generous portion and starts to finger my hole with it. He’s very good—teasing and circling around slowly. Eventually working in a finger. Then two. But I’m tensing up for the fingering. No guy has ever put a digit in me either—only dick. So his bony fingers feel sharp and foreign. Next he slathers up his dick with another goodly amount of Vaseline. I see his hefty meat shining in the lights from the mirror. He goes back to rubbing it against my ass, and then he stops and positions his head at my pucker. “Wait. Shouldn’t we get a condom?” “Why? You don’t make Jimmy wear one. Or the other guys. Why start now? And trust me—it’s going to be hard enough getting this inside without the friction and tightness of a condom.” And to emphasize his point, Carl nudges his head forward a fraction of an inch. Even with the Vaseline it burns a bit. “Oh dear baby jesus… that’s never going in,” I said with a shiver. “Oh yes it will. All it takes is a little Christmas magic,” he says. Carl reaches into the pocket of his Santa pants and pulls out a small, brown bottle. He hands it to me. “What’s this?” I say? “Christmas magic, of course,” he says with a grin. “You ever wonder how Santa can get his fatness up and down all those tight, little chimneys? Well, a little whiff of what’s in this bottle is all it takes.” I am really hesitant at this point, and I draw the line at drugs. So I just hold the bottle, and Carl says “Suit yourself.” And he starts to push inside me. “Oh FUCK that hurts!” I cry out as I try to squirm away. “Hush up!” Carl commands. “These walls aint exactly soundproof.” He starts to slowly push in again. “Wait wait wait!” I whisper. “I think I need some magic.” Carl pauses as I uncap the bottle. I’m met with a sweet, yet acrid chemical smell. “Just place the bottle under you nose and inhale a bit. It’s like smelling salts… for your asshole.” So I place the bottle under my nose and take a deep sniff. The warmth soon floods over my body and I feel tingly and a bit dizzy. I also notice a pressure at my asshole. A slightly burning, stretching feeling, and a fullness inside. Somewhere in my brain, I realize that Carl’s huge penis is starting to make it’s way inside me. I also dimly realize that it hurts a bit, but I also kinda don’t mind that it hurts a bit. “Oh my god…” I exhale. “Just you wait, kiddo. I ain’t even CLOSE to being all the way in. Take another whiff and we’ll see how far I can get.” With a few more inhalations of the brown bottle and some steady pressure from Carl, he slowly starts to make forward progress. Carl has one of those dicks that is ramrod straight and hard, but not like steel. There is still a little sponge to the head and shaft. Like he’s 95% hard and rarin’ to fuck. Soon I feel my ass stuffed to the point of tearing. I also feel a dull pain inside where evidently Carl’s prick has hit bottom. “Ouch,” I tell him. “I think that’s as much as I can take. Maybe you should pull out now.” “You mean like this?” he says, as he slowly starts to retreat out of me. The long pullout is intense and makes me shudder as his meat drags across my prostate. “Oh FUCK me that’s good!” I manage to croak out. Carl doesn’t pull all the way out. Instead, he leaves his head parked inside and adds more Vaseline to his dick. Then he starts the long, slow slide back in. His dick moves more easily this time—like either I’m relaxing more or the Vaseline has finally slickened me up enough. Carl bottoms out again, and backs out again. Rinse. Repeat. And I occasionally hit the bottle for relaxation help. After a few minutes, he pushes in to the stopping point again. “Kid, we gotta get past this point. I’m at your second ring and I got a good two inches left of dick to give you. You need to trust me that once I get past this point, you are gonna find the true meaning of Christmas. So take a good whiff and relax for me.” I do as I’m told and I exhale and will myself to relax. I feel Carl’s massive head pushing deep inside my guts. It hurts, I’m not going to lie. But in a weird way. Like, it’s both a sharp and dull ache inside me, but there is a pleasure quotient that is also undeniable. He pushes ever so slowly and the pain builds, and then… Joy to the motherfucking WORLD! “Now THAT’S a good boy!” Carl exclaimed. “You just made my secret ‘special’ Naughty List!” The feeling when his head breached that deep deep place inside me? I honestly don’t know how to describe it. Once his head popped in—I felt his cock slide easily all the way to the root inside me. The brief intense pain was replaced by pleasure that nearly caused my knees to buckle. “Oh… my… God… Oh……. My……. GOD!” I gasped. Carl stayed buried inside me and made small movements back and forth and around, and all of it was pure pleasure. Then he slowly withdrew, maybe about midway, and then pushed forward again. This time his head popped in with only a little resistance.” “Now you’re opening up. I told you Santa had a big ol present for a special boy!” I was now freely hitting the bottle and getting more into the fuck while Carl started to slowly pick up tempo. I honestly lost track of time in my haze, but before long, Carl was really giving me all of this dick. Like slowly pulling out until only his head was inside, then shoving in until his bony hips slapped my muscle butt. “Wow, I can’t believe I’m taking it all!” I groan. “Yeah, all the precum I’m leaking has lubed you up inside so your guts are slick. We can get to fuckin now,” he says. Carl then started to fuck and snap his hips forward. That’s when I felt the first ball slap. As promised, his balls swung forward and tapped mine making me gasp. “Oh!” The feeling both startled me and turned me on. “Told ya, kiddo. My balls will really get to slapping you now.” And they did. More bottle snorts, more relaxation, and I caught myself in the mirror again. This time I watched. It was like I was watching one of the porn scenes I so frequently jacked off to. Only I was also feeling the pleasure from the fuck at the same time. The guy in the mirror was gooned out all the way, tongue lolling out, drooling on the table. Fucking back onto Santa with every thrust and having his balls slap repeatedly into his balls and taint. And Santa was gripping the guy in the mirror’s hips hard, as he hungrily watched his cock disappear repeatedly inside the young guy’s ass. “Oh Christ kid, you’ve got me close!” Santa says. Carl keeps fucking me with all of his might and I swear I feel his cock get harder. Like that extra 5%, which translated into like another half inch of dick and some extra girth. I’m feeling every damn thrust from him and my insides are starting to ache mightily. His balls are also tightening up, as they’re now only slapping into my taint, which is oddly working up my own orgasm. I know what’s coming (or so I think) and the small, intellectual part of my brain is saying “don’t let this stranger cum inside you.” But the animal side of my brain has fully taken over now and I find myself willing him to cum. I WANT to feel him cum inside me. I DESERVE it after all. “You ready for your gift Kyle? Santa has a special gift for naughty boys!” His eyes lock on mine in the mirror. “It’s coming. Do you want Santa’s gift? Tell me you’ve been a naughty boy. Beg me for your gift!” “Fuck yeah, Santa! I’ve been so fucking naughty! Letting guys fuck me. I want your special gift for Christmas! Please Santa?” “Here it come’s boy! A gift you’ll never forget!” And with that he thrusts one more time, hard, and buries himself deep inside me. And I feel it. I feel him cum. The throbs of his orgasm cause his cock to press deeper inside me and stretch my hole. I feel every spurt. Every dick twitch as he unloads all the way up inside me. The feeling of him cumming inside me pushes me over the edge. This entire time I’ve been rock hard and leaking precum everywhere, but I haven’t once touched my dick, and neither has Carl. But we didn’t need to. Carl is still spurting inside me when I arch back and start launching my load. I’m proud to say I completely spackled that makeup mirror and table. It was running down in streaks like a scene in a horror film. Carl saw it and just chuckled. “I’m gonna have to clean that before Eric comes in tomorrow,” he says. Now that I’ve cum, the realization of what I’ve done is starting to set in. I start to panic a little as I pull off Carl’s softening dick. When he slides out of my ass, a large blob of cum drips out of my hole and hits the floor. “Oh my god! You fucked me. You CAME in me! What the fuck was I thinking?? Jesus, you tricked me you fucking [banned word]!” I spat. “Now now, Kyle, don’t get chippy. You wanted this. You know you did. And hell, I just bet in a couple days you’ll come back to visit Santa because that ass will be craving another Christmas gift.” I start to reply but am cut short by a PA announcement from the Mall. “The Mall will be closing in 5 minutes. Please make your way to the exits.” “Better get going home to Mom, kiddo,” Carl says with a smirk. “Hope you enjoy your gift. Oh, and if you want more, you know where to find me. Maybe next time I can arrange for another Santa too? I know Terry the black Santa here would love a shot at that ass.” I pulled up my sweats, threw on my shoe and beat feet for the exit… and home. I beat myself up the entire drive home, cursing Carl and my stupidity. I dashed past mom while apologizing for being late and ran to my room. As I lay in bed, I tried to forget what had happened at the mall. But my sore wet ass was a constant reminder. As was my relentless boner that took jacking off 3 times to make go away. And yeah- I thought about Carl’s cock breeding me every time I jacked for the next 4 days. Until I went back to the mall on Monday evening….

I have had a few homeless fucks— I love it!

Awww- thank you!

My buddy is helping to arrange a gang bang of my fuck hole. We are looking for TOPS only with good dicks who like to breed ass— namely mine. There’ll be a monitored clothes drop area and water. He will be host and I will be the hole. Near downtown here. Easy free parking and accessibility. Doors open from 5-7pm. Party stops when last guy drops a load in me. Poppers ok. No hard drugs. Hit me up for details.

Awwww, thank you!

I’m staying at CCbC for cumunion, but will also be looking for loads. Anyone wanna help me out?

I should write a sequel to this— perhaps even the guy goes to Lauderdale on spring break?

Thank you! The whole flight attendant thing was a very intentional nod to the original HIV patient zero.

Wow good or wow bad??

“Where am I?” This was the first coherent thought to form in my addled brain. My head felt three times too large for my body and like it was stuffed with cotton. I also couldn’t really move my limbs or make my body work at all. Forming thoughts was like trying to swim through mud. I was aware that things were not normal, but what had happened remained a mystery. I was desperately trying to remember what had happened to me, but details were slippery and elusive. Eventually, with much willpower, I was able to open my eyes. It seemed to take forever for them to focus and resolve any image of my surroundings. It was dim, wherever I was. And the light was red and inconsistent. Flickering. Again, with effort, I was able to move my head a little and look around. The walls were dark and rough and seemed to be made of stone. I couldn’t see a ceiling above me- only blackness. I did note that there were chains extending upward at the four corners of by body, and that my wrists and ankles were apparently bound to them, immobilizing me. I was splayed out spread-eagle like the Vitruvian man, and I was laying on a cold, smooth surface. Lifting my head was next to impossible, but I managed it just long enough to confirm that I was indeed naked. My head crashed back down to the hard surface with a conk making me see stars. I shivered then, partly from the chill and partly from fear Long moments passed, but gradually I regained more and more of my senses. Whatever chamber I was entombed in was large- I could tell my the occasional small sounds and how they echoed and bounced around the space, only to be eventually swallowed up by the darkness above. The light was coming from a small number of torches (torches!) set into the walls. It was like something out of a medieval fever dream. When I regained some strength, I tried tugging my arms free- but to no avail. The thick chains barely moved and only clinked a couple times. I was now awake enough to start panicking. Wherever I was, it wasn’t good. This was a seriously fucked up situation and I was clearly in danger. My heart started to pound. I tried to call for help, but my mouth was dry and my tongue was thick in my mouth. The adrenaline shot to my system cleared my brain of the remaining fog. Pieces of the previous night started to assemble like a puzzle in my brain. I had been out celebrating my 18th birthday. Since all my friends had gone off to college, I was by myself and feeling fairly blue about it. I remember I went to the local dance club, just so I could be around people. A handsome, older guy started talking to me… what was his name? Something unusual. He saw my underage wristband, and I remember telling him it was my birthday. He offered to sneak me a birthday shot and I remember declining because I didn’t really drink because it was illegal… but he brought me one anyway. He brought a shot for himself too, and he coerced me into having it. “A man only turns 18 once—you need to celebrate!” he had said. The shot was called… “Devil’s Blood”? Or something like it. I think it was fireball and grenadine and who knows what else. I remember it was sweet, and hot. He then asked me out on the dancefloor. I remember thinking that he was really hot, but way too old for me. But hey. Nobody else was asking me to dance so why not? The music pulsed and the lights were hypnotic and I remember feeling my insides getting all warm and gooey. I vaguely remember him hitting on me, and me demurring because I wasn’t looking for that. I was waiting to find a boyfriend or a girlfriend- I wasn’t sure which yet. I think I told him that I was just looking to be around people and to cut loose a little. And that’s about all I remember. Until now. So here I was- naked on some sort of slab. In a real life fucking dungeon. Chained up. The reality of my situation had taken root— I was probably going to die. My mind started working on next steps, but was coming up empty. Ice formed in the pit of my stomach and I got really scared. I’m not ashamed to admit that I pissed myself in that moment. It was then that I heard it. Footsteps. I could hear the uneven cadence and scrape/crunch of several pairs of feet walking slowly out of the shadows. Above the footsteps was a low hum of male voices. Musical. Like a slow chant. Out of the shadows then emerged 5 men in long, dark robes. At least I think they were men. They all had on masks that obscured their faces. The masks were those of skulls—animalistic in nature. Four of the masks were jet black. Glossy. Horned. The fifth was gold. The four in black masks carried what appeared to be small, handheld drums. The one wearing the gold mask carried an old, leatherbound book the color of oxblood in one hand. In the other he carried a stilleto. My heart raced with fear, as my mind jumped to all sorts of terrifying outcomes. The four took up positions at my feet and hands and when they were in place the humming stopped. The one in the gold mask walked to the figure at my left hand. The figure held out his right hand and the stiletto made a quick slash to his thumb. The figure made a gladiator “thumbs down” gesture and I watched the blood trickle off his hand to the floor. This ritual was repeated at the other three figures. Then the fifth stood at my head, out of my view. I watched in sick fascination as The Four slowly raised some sort of bone-shaped drumstick. And then as one, they struck their drums. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. A slow, steady beat began. The one in gold at my head started chanting in a language I could not identify. His words snaked and wove through the beats of the drums. The Four took up the chant as well. Slowly the tempo increased and the chanting got louder. As this was happening, the torchlight seemed to increase with the flames leaping higher of their own accord. This brought the figures into sharp relief. I could see that the Four were drumming on crude drums with rough skin like parchment, and with what appeared to be actual bones- like the knobby leg bone of an animal. Or human. The chant had now crescendoed to a fever pitch and the drummers were beating like my racing heart. Then suddenly, without warning, everything stopped. The drummers dropped to their knees as one, and from above my head I heard the One in gold whisper something— guttural and wicked. Then there was a bright, blinding flash like a camera strobe. My nose caught the strong smell of sulfur. When my eyes readjusted, there was a dim red glow in the room- like a photography dark room. I looked over at the torches on the wall, and they flames all appeared to be frozen—low and unwavering in their iron holders. The Five men in robes were also caught mid-motion. And the room was eerily quiet—like being in a sound proof recording studio. It was as if time itself had stopped- except for me. And the demonic thing now standing in my presence. I stared, completely unsure of what I was looking at. At the end of the slab where I lay stood a… thing. A beast? Man? Both? It had a general human form… but it was different. Distorted. Much more Sinister. I could tell it was big. Like 7 feet tall and broad across the chest and shoulders. The head was large and bald, and atop were two great, black, curling horns, like those of a ram. Instead of eyes, there were empty voids- like deepest, darkest space. The mouth, a lipless slash, crowded with sharp, pointy teeth. The flesh appeared scalded and shiny—like scarred skin-- tight across the body. Muscles stood out in sinewy relief, as if they were barely covered in flesh. The arms were muscular and disproportionately long, terminating in hands with too many fingers, each with a talon instead of a nail. And did I see the hint of dark wings behind? It appeared to be regarding me, with its unwavering dark gaze, and I was utterly petrified. My mind wanted to believe that I was drugged. Hallucinating this terrible image. But somewhere in the deep recesses of my animal brain, I knew this was real. Real And beyond my rational beliefs. “Wh… wh… who…?” I managed to croak out, before the sound died on my lips. The creature continued to stare at me with those empty voids in its face. The longer I stared into them, the more I began to see things swimming in their depths. Terrible things. I looked away, shivering uncontrollably. “Who or what I am does not matter, human,” it said in a rusty, scrapey, deep voice. “They have summoned me, and I have come. The fools! Even now, they have no inkling of the true nature of the forces with which they play. If they did they would have fled from this place in terror. But no. To them this was a mere game; they did not truly believe. I do not brook the follies of man and there will be repercussions. And yet… they deliver unto me such tasty flesh to defile…” “P-p-p-please don’t kill me! Oh God protect me! Oh Jesus please save me!” I prayed. The creature laughed then- a sound like glass inside a garbage disposal. “Those empty words have never held power or sway! There is no mercy here! You of virgin flesh are bound to me in this moment outside of time, as I am bound in this earthly space. But I will grant you this knowledge, human. Death is not immediately forthcoming. You have been chosen as the Vessel.” I struggled mightily against the chains, but to no avail. I twisted and pulled and screamed, but my binds would not yield. The creature watched me placidly as I expended my energy. When the fight finally left me, I sagged back onto the slab. “A Vessel for what,” I whispered, defeated. “You have heard of AIDS, yes?” it asked. I nodded, horrified. “The first virus was passed to a Vessel through a union much like this. We needed a fertile male host—one that would pass on his demon seed to many others, eventually casting them all down in sin. That Vessel performed… admirably.” “Are you telling me you unleashed HIV on the world and infected millions of men on purpose?” I sobbed. “Yes.” “You monster!” I spat. The creature grinned. “I believe Incubus would be more accurate, although we do not concern ourselves with human labels.” “Well, we have pre and post exposure protocols now. And drugs to combat your virus so humans can live long, productive lives. So even if you infect me…” I began bravely. “Hence the need for a new Vessel,” the Incubus interrupted. “The time has come for a new virus. One that will not be so easily tamed. One that will again spread through humanity’s sinners. The Fornicators. The drug users. The adulterers. Hastening their demise and bringing them more quickly to my Master’s fold.” “No…” I pleaded. “Now we begin,” the Incubus stated. His mouth of teeth opened menacingly, and a long, black tongue snaked out of the orifice. Longer than my brain could comprehend… 3 feet? 4 feet? And it undulated and rippled like an earthworm. I watched as the demon slowly sank down between my legs, and then I felt it. His tongue was teasing and lapping against my asshole. It was hot- almost to the point of uncomfortably so, but not quite. “Ah, it has been too long since I have tasted the sweetness of man,” it said. And then the tongue started slowly inching its way inside me. Feeling the heat of it penetrate inside me was intense. The creature was right about me being a virgin. I’d never done anything with anyone ever before, as I had grown up in a fairly strict household. All I had time for was school, swimming, my after-school job, church… and masturbation. I’d never even kissed a girl… or a boy. As I thought about this, I had the faint memory of telling the man at the bar that I was “eighteen and never been kissed”. With that one statement, I’d probably sealed my fate and landed myself as a human sacrifice. At first I was horrified and frightened and revolted by the invasion into my body. Even in all my masturbation and self-exploration, I’d never come anywhere near my butthole. The sensation was completely foreign—but not unwelcome. The thick, hot tongue continued pulsing and snaking its way inside. Deeper and deeper. At the prostate it seemed to pause and explore and… caress making me shiver with nervous adrenaline. And I found it increasingly difficult not to get aroused. I felt sick. I was being violated by this sex demon from what I could only guess was hell (or some hellish plane of existence) and yet here I was, strangely turned on by it. Overwhelmingly so. I railed against it. Reprimanding myself with my internal monologue for feeling this way. Telling myself to resist—that I should be disgusted. That I was being raped for god’s sake! But the waves of pleasure were too much to ignore. My dick was soon teenage steel and straining toward the ceiling. It was almost painful and I couldn’t touch it at all to relieve it. And still the tongue explored my insides- pushing deeper. I felt it’s heat as it teased some deep barrier inside me, where I was sure it would stop. But it tickled and twirled at this place and my breath quickened. Soon it worked up past it and beyond and the wave of pleasure created made my body start to shake. I felt my body open and relax as my head lolled to one side. The creature chuckled at this- that horrible glass grinding sound again. I don’t know how long that tongue violated my guts as I lost all sense of the flow of time. Hours? Days? Years? All I know is that I could feel that tongue snaking all the way up into me. When I would occasionally lift my head, I could see the creature’s head moving subltly between my legs and I could see the tongue move and writhe beneath the taut flesh of my stomach. It reminded me of that one time I saw a baby move beneath the skin of a pregnant woman and was creeped out. Slowly the tongue withdrew from me, and I found myself missing the hot presence inside my intestines. Almost craving to be filled again… and I hated myself for feeling this way. Then the beast stood up slowly, my eyes tracking his movement. As he brought himself to his full height, I saw it. A massive phallus arcing up and away from his body, glossy and deep red. The wedge-shaped ruddy head reached up to the middle of his chest. It was definitely not human-proportioned- not even porn proportioned. I had never seen anything so massive… not even on the horses on our farm. My eyes got large as the slow realization of what was coming next became apparent. “No… please! I can’t. IT can’t! It’s not possible. You said I wouldn’t die, but that will kill me.” I begged him. But it fell on deaf ears. “Human males are preferable virgin sacrifices, although harder to find. They can endure and their anatomy is more… compliant. Human females, while accommodating in their own way, have limited depth and tend to… rupture… thus rendering them disposable,” it graveled out. At this point I started crying in earnest. I could see what was coming and it scared the shit out of me. I had no choice. No control. This wasn’t what I wanted… or was it? But after the tongue exploration, there was a teeny-tiny part of my brain that was, dare I say, titillated? And that knowledge scared me even more. I watched as it gripped its massive prong in one taloned fist, and then pushed it downward to align with my asshole. I was sobbing and shaking my head, but I knew my situation was hopeless. I was basically pinned like a butterfly on this stone slab, about to be split in half. I felt the hot, triangular head pushing insistently against my asshole and I thought there was no way it would be able to enter—not without considerable pain and irreparable damage. But… … it was weird. I could feel it start to slide in. The heat pulsing off that huge member was intense as it pushed past by sphincter. But it didn’t hurt for some reason. I could feel immense pressure, and an uncomfortably full feeling pervading my guts, but no pain. For some reason, due to some magic or demon novocaine, the entry wasn’t accompanied by the mind-shattering agony I was prepared for. Rather, it was- dare I say- pleasurable? It was a similar sensation to the tongue that had come before. I could feel it inside me. The heat. The fullness. The inexorable penetration. But where the tongue slithered and snaked around inside, this sensation was just of firm flesh invading my deepest recesses. Again, I felt the beast appendage impact somewhere deep inside me at meet resistance, and again I figured this was the extent of how far he would be able to go without tearing me internally. But there was some additional pressure, a slight stab of pain, and then… oh, and then! Goddamn. I could feel a slight ‘pop’ and the massive meat had pushed past beyond my barrier and was now invading deeper into me. Where the tongue had gone. The waves of pleasure as it continued into me were intense and almost more than I could bear. my sobs and tears had stopped and I believe I cried out in ecstasy, but I can’t be sure because my mind was blown at this point. After what felt like an eternity, I felt the creature’s hot groin pressed against my ass, and I knew that he was all the way inside and I had somehow survived. I don’t know where all that dick went, but every breath was a struggle it felt like it was lodged below my sternum, somewhere up near my heart. Then, the cock started a slow withdrawal from my body. Every inch that it retreated left me feeling hollow and empty. Eventually, the Incubus only had the head remaining inside me. Then he started to push inside again, only a tiny bit faster. This process repeated many times- so many that I lost count. The only thing I was aware of was the core of heat inside my body when he was inside me, and the feeling of fullness and pleasure. Again, all this was completely happening outside of time itself, so I don’t have any perspective of how long this back and forth went inside my guts. It felt like years were passing with each thrust. As the fuck continued, my body eventually completely gave itself over to lust and desire. I had relaxed to the point where my insides were fully accepting his demon dick. All thoughts of impropriety had long since fled and I was feeling nothing but dizzying pleasure at being impaled on his massive shaft. I found that I couldn’t get enough. I wanted this demon’s dick in me for eternity. I wanted him to never stop. I know I was moaning and screaming and making noises of ultimate pleasure every time he bottomed out inside me and I was actively trying to throw myself further into him. “Yessssssssssss,” the Incubus hissed. It sounded like nails on a chalkboard. “Submit unto me! Accept your fate!” He was staying further inside me now. Rarely pulling out beyond half before thrusting inside again. And the thrusts were harder. His groin bruising my ass. I found myself staring into the voids that were its eyes as the fucking continued. It felt like I was falling into a bottomless well of lust and desire, that sensation of falling without hitting bottom. Mixed with the sensation of his giant cock deliciously rearranging my insides. As his tempo slowly increased further, his tongue slowly snaked out of his mouth and found it’s way to mine. I felt the hot, black, roughness enter my mouth and start to push down my throat into my esophagus. Normally I would have started gagging uncontrollably at this, but again. As if by demon magic, I was just able to accept his tongue down my throat. The heat signature slowly crept downward into my belly—and beyond. I was taking sustaining breaths through my nostrils now, as the demon pounded me furiously while tongue-fucking my throat and stomach. I think his cock and tongue made connection and completed the circuit inside me. My body was vibrating from his double penetration, pleasure beyond all reason and measure crashing into me, through me, over me. It felt like I had been edged up to the point of an orgasm for a lifetime without release and my body was going crazy with desire. His tempo was frenzied now, and he was growling. A horrifying sound that seemed to rend the air. I could feel the triangular spear shaped tip of his cock start to swell up inside me. Taking up more and more room within. It grew to where it felt like it was half the width of my torso, yet my willing body took it. Craved it. Needed it. I could barely breathe as it was affecting my diaphragm and lungs. The red light in the room had grown steadily with the demon’s passion. It morphed with the fuck, moving into orange, then yellow, then white, then brilliant incandescence. My eyes closed tight to shield them from the intensity. “IT IS TIME!” the Incubus bellowed. “WITH THIS SEED YOU BECOME THE VESSEL!” And with that, the demon cock erupted inside me. Scalding hot semen pulsed from that massive head, flooding into me. It burned with a pleasure-pain that caused my body to buck and shake uncontrollably. I contorted and writhed with full body orgasms as volumes of poisonous demon seed poured into me, filling me- searing my viscera. I could feel his molten jism actually rising like gorge in my throat. The salty, sulfurous, metallic taste making me gag. It was like I was burning alive from the inside, but without pain. It felt like a fever, but a fever of 451°F. I couldn’t breathe or move and it felt like I might burst apart into flame. But slowly… ever so slowly… this feeling diminished. With every throb of my pulse, the heat within grew less and less, like I was ejecting my corona into space like a dying star. Eventually, I felt like I could breathe again, and I could feel the cool, wetness of the stone under my back. I slowly opened my eyes. Smoke hung thick in the air which again smelled of sulfur. In the haze the Incubus was nowhere to be seen. I noticed that I was no longer bound by the chains—they just hung impotently around me. I pushed myself into a seated position for the first time in what felt like a millennia and swayed a little unsteadily. I was woozy and felt severely dehydrated and also… different. Slowly I began to take inventory of my body. I looked down and noted that I was covered by crusty, black soot from head to toe, like I’d been in a fire. Also my chest and belly were coated in semen (which I somehow knew was mine) making the soot on my torso streaky and sticky. The demon had fucked what appeared to be a week’s worth of cum out of me. Speaking of my body… I found it had changed markedly. I was more muscular than I had been before. My shoulders and chest much broader. My arms bulging. My legs thick and strong. I felt longer of limb and that when I stood I would be taller. I was leaner, too, with deep muscular definition. And lo! I had chest hair! I had been a hairless, skinny, twink before— but now? But without a doubt the biggest change was to my dick. The flesh now hanging between my legs was certainly NOT what I had before. Before I was just a guy with an unremarkable cock. Average. Nothing that stood out or was noticed in the swim locker room or gym class by any means. But now? Flaccid it was hanging to just north of mid thigh. I could fell the meaty weight of it, and I instinctively knew it would expand to become a real cuntwrecker. As these changes sank in, I slowly started to realize that I felt different inside as well. I felt confident… no, cocky. Strong. Sure of myself. Brave. Sexy. Fearless. And dangerous. When I looked for the Five men in Robes, I noticed them laying on the floor in disarray at the five points where they had been. Eventually they stirred faintly and moaned a bit as they came to. I heard one of them mutter, “Dude, what the fuck just happened?” When they had revived enough and saw me seated and unshackled, they were visibly shaken. The one in the gold mask looked at me and said, “Who are you?” “I was the virgin manchild you brought here as a sacrifice, but no longer. Now I am the Vessel. Now I am Gift of Death.” They all turned and ran. Just as the Incubus had said, they were fools. They meddled with dark forces and in turn have released Me unto the world. The new Vessel. They would soon come to rue their choices, of that I was sure. And then eventually to Him. I would start with the man in the gold mask. The seducer from the club. The “high priest” as it were. I followed them at a leisurely pace, their cries echoing through the rough hewn chamber, leading me on to the exit. Thoughts of my future formed as I walked. I could not go home now—the 18 year old that entered this chamber was dead. As the Vessel, I needed to sow my seed far and wide. Perhaps I should become a hitchhiker? A truck driver? A male prostitute? “No,” I said with a smile. “I will become a flight attendant.”

Part 3: Acceptance is cumming soon….

I just added part two called “Solemn Vows” to continue their journey

This story is a continuation of the one found here. “Kurt, I think I’m sick.” I called him that afternoon, as I was starting to feel gross at work. Achy. And my skin kind of hurt, which was a sure sign I was running a temperature. “Oh baby, I’m sorry!” he said, barely masking the giddiness in his voice. “And do you mean ‘sick’ sick? Like, do you think it’s the, um, you know… Flu?” I smirked a bit at this as I pictured how excited he probably looked at that very moment. “Yeah, stud. I think this is it.” “Awwww. You head home, and I’ll leave work early and take care of you. Gotta take care of my honeyhole!” “Yeah yeah. You say the sweetest things. See you later. I’ll probably be napping.” I hung up. I really did feel like hammered shit, which is exactly what I told my boss before heading home for the day. And by ‘home’ I mean Kurt’s place- which I guess technically was my place too, as I’d basically moved in almost immediately after our first weekend together. It was basically a done deal the instant we kissed in my car. And the fuck he threw me on Labor Day weekend sealed the deal. That first fuckfest saw him breeding me 4 times over a span of 6 hours and basically ruining my insides from all angles. The next morning, I shat so much cum (and a fair bit of blood) that I actually called him to the bathroom to witness his handiwork. Naturally, that turned him on and led to another round of me being used randily before breakfast. I had to beg him for prep time! With a fresh load of his DNA in me, we sat down to a breakfast of eggs and coffee, which he had thoughtfully prepared for us while I showered. And that’s where we said the “L” word to each other for the first time. We were sitting at his small breakfast table, eating in silence, bathed in bright morning sunlight. He looked so fucking hot in just his loose pajama bottoms with his hair all mussed up. He caught me staring and with his mouth still full said “Whut?” And I just shrugged and said, “Nothing. Just… I love you, is all.” That was the first time I’d officially said it to anybody. I was always worried that I would have to fake it, or just always do the “I love you too” thing. But no. This was easy. And I meant it completely. He beamed at me and then his face crumpled a little as he got a little emotional. “Wow. That is… just, so good to hear because… because I love YOU. I knew when you kissed me in your car after I bawled like a little bitch.” “I knew I loved you when you said ‘As you wish’ to me.” “Well, I knew I was into you when you yelled at me at the sex party. I was angry, ashamed, and sad all at the same time, which nobody has made me feel since Bo. So there were definite… feelings… there.” “Well, I knew I was hopelessly infatuated when you ‘mean girled’ me at the bar. Anyone able to eviscerate me with a mere look like that? Big feelings.” He chuckled and pointed his fork at me. “Oh, so is this a competition on who was into whom first now?” “Everything is a competition, bucko—and from where I’m sitting?” I gave him a long, slow, up and down appraisal. “I definitely won the big *cough* prize.” “It’s kind of amazing you’re able to sit at all, actually,” he said flippantly. And we laughed. The rest of Labor Day was spent talking and fucking, and ordering pizza as new couples do. Eventually I had to tap out, as my ass was raw and ruined and I was starting to fear that everything on the inside of me may just accidentally end up on the outside if I stood up quickly. But let me tell you. It was so fucking hot to take a nap with his cock lodged inside and his arms wrapped around me. I felt so taken care of that I completely zonked for like 2 hours. Until I awoke to his stiffening dick poking my spleen. Again. Eventually I drove him back to pick up his car which we had left at Tom’s house. We went our separate ways (briefly) so I could pick up some clothes and toiletries and meet him back at his. From there, Kurt and I rapidly settled into coupledom. Most of our meals were spent together. TV and movies on the couch. Sleeping together. Fucking. Kurt even got a family membership at his gym so we could work out together. It was all so disgustingly domestic and I loved it. Since Kurt’s condo was infinitely nicer than my shithole apartment, it naturally became our home base. I already had part of a closet and some drawers. All my valuables had been transferred over, and other than some occasional trips to show my neighbors what good gay sex sounded like or to pick up random items, I’d been at “our place” ever since. Which is where I found myself now, shivering, and under blankets on the couch. I took some ibuprofen, drank some juice, and curled up to watch some shitty daytime TV. The next thing I remember is feeling his lips (and stubble) on my forehead. “Hey babe, how you feeling?” he asked quietly. “Pretty meh,” I mustered. “Yeah, I remember what it was like. You’re most likely seroconverting now, and your body is gonna feel it.” “Maybe it’s just a cold. There’s been a lot of crap going around,” I offered, mainly to rile him up a little. “Are you suggesting that I’m not as fertile as I claimed to be?” he said in mock frustration. “Well, I dunno. It’s been almost two months with near daily breedings. Maybe your swimmers just can’t get me pregnant?” I shrugged nonchalantly. “You fucker,” he growled. “You’re gonna regret that.” * * I was feeling a touch better later that evening, after some soup and a long nap. I woke up on the couch, and Kurt was sitting in the chair across from me, naked, and watching me sleep. He was also slowly jacking that enormous meat of his. “Wakey, Wakey… time for snakey,” he sing-songed. I rolled my eyes. “Are you serious, coming at me with that? I’m tired and feeling gross. I probably have just enough energy to get in bed.” “Oh, we’re getting in bed alright,” he stated. “That’s where I’m going to fuck you. It’s been two days and I need to empty these nuts.” “Stud, I don’t know if I….” I started. He cut me off. “This isn’t a request. I AM going to fuck you. You’re converting. You know it. I know it. And I want to put one more fat, poz load in your guts to seal the deal.” His amber eyes had that dark glitter about them, so I knew he was in full sex mode at this point and would not be dissuaded. So I hauled my ass off the couch, popped 3 more ibuprofen, and headed to the bathroom to prepare myself. When I walked into the bedroom, I was expecting that porn would be going, and the sling to be up and ready. But no. Soft music was playing and the room was lit by several electric candles scattered about to give the space ambiance. He was standing next to the bed, all shy looking. In the center of the bed was a towel with a single red rose on it. Naturally the lube and poppers were handy too. “What’s all this?” I asked, confused. “This will be our anniversary, so I wanted it to be special,” he said kind of sheepishly. “I thought our anniversary was the day before labor day... When we first got together?” “Well, that’s one anniversary, yeah,” he said. “But tonight will be the anniversary of when we become joined by a bond that can’t be broken and you become mine forever.” Even in my not-feeling-so-great state, hearing him talk like this was doing it for me. I felt myself boning up and feeling that need for seed. I walked over to where he stood and looked up at him expectantly. He kissed me then, and just like it had done since the very beginning, it electrified my senses. “Tonight is all about you, babe,” he said. And he proceeded to kiss down my body, slowly. And then he engulfed my swollen dick with his mouth. This was a bit of a different side of Kurt, and I wasn’t sure where it was all going. I mean, I was most comfortable in the roll of “bottom cumdump”. I get off on guys just using me selfishly for their pleasure. Being used as a hole is what turns ME on most- the more degrading the better. A guy just using me as a human fleshlight will make my toes curl every time, and if he verbally degrades me during I’ll most likely cum no handed. So having Kurt be the attentive one was definitely throwing me off a little, but I decided to go with it. After sucking me a good long while, he slowly spun me around, bent me over the bed, and started eating my ass. This was also something he rarely did- as it was typically my job to eat his. But I fucking love being rimmed, and his stubble and stache grating against my hole were lighting me up like a Christmas tree. Pretty soon I was begging for his dick to be inside me. I got pretty insistent about it, which earned a huff of a laugh into my twitching butthole. “Ok, buckaroo, I can see what you need,” he smiled as I crawled to the middle of the bed. I smelled the rose before flinging it to a nightstand. “Woses… how owdinawy,” I said, doing my best Madeline Kahn. He genuinely laughed at this and favored me with one of his megawatt smiles. “You are so fucking corny- I love you.” “I know,” I said with a smirk. “It WAS a red rose after all.” “Yes. Red. For Love… and blood,” he growled, his eyes hooded and gleaming. “I need your dick in my mouth. Now,” I commanded. I figured if this was all about me tonight, I was gonna be a bossy bottom. “As you wish,” he quipped, as he maneuvered himself to present his massive tool for my enjoyment. Kurt’s cock really was just about the biggest I’d ever seen. I may have sucked a couple bigger ones in my day (some longer, some thicker) but his was definitely at the farthest end of the bell curve. It was like a true 9, and also very girthy. Straight and hard, with a darker, ruddy flared head on it. The shaft was almost the same thickness for the entire length- like a thicker can of red bull. But there was a magic spot about an inch and a half down from the head, where the shaft bulged ever so slightly thicker. This is what made his cock special. The way that thicker portion tugged out on my hole when fucking me, or feeling it just push past my second ring… fuck. It was absolute heaven in flesh form. I worshipped his meat with my mouth as best I could. I’ll fully admit, I’m a terrible cock sucker. I do it, but mainly just to get the cock wet for my ass. I have a terrible gag reflex and my jaw and neck always get tired doing it. But feeling his cockhead lodging in my throat definitely got my engine revving. Taking additional advantage of the “it’s all about me” night, I decided that I was going to ride his cock for something new. I know, right? Sex for two months, and I hadn’t ridden his cock yet? Outlandish! But yeah, we never had. I’m a big fan of doggy and/or sling fucks (again—I like being used) and Kurt was only too happy to oblige me in this regard as he was definitely an alpha top ass-user. I mean, I’d been on my back on the bed a bit, and on my side and stomach. But it was all where Kurt was in control of it all. I pulled my mouth off his cock, grabbed the lube, and started slathering his cock (and my hole) while he lay there, his hands still behind his head. He made a move to get up and I shook my head and pushed him back down gently. He looked at me quizzically, but quickly cottoned on when I started moving up to straddle him. “Well, this is… different,” he said, a bit unsure. “All about me, remember big guy?” I said as I positioned his head at my hole. I took a big hit of poppers and got ready. “As you… OH!” he said, as I slammed myself all the way down on his dick. It hurt. My god it hurt like hell to do it like that! And his head was wedged up against my second ring which was DEFINITELY not open yet. But I wanted it to hurt. I also wanted to show him I could take him and take my pleasure from him. I paused with him in me, my eyes squeezed shut in a grimace, sweat beading on my forehead. “Jesus, bud, you ok?” He said with some genuine concern. “This is our anniversary, so we better make this count.” I gritted out. I hit the spray poppers next, and slowly started to fuck myself on his prong. By about the third stroke, I was able to pop him into my second ring, and I left it there for a minute as I milked him with my hole. He growled in appreciation as I knew he would, and I bent down to kiss him. I loved kissing him as I was fully impaled on him! We fucked like this for awhile. I was getting quite the leg and hip workout riding up and down for that full length. He was assisting me by having his meaty hands at my hips, helping to lift me up and pulling me down. Occasionally he would reach up to flick my nipples, knowing this would send my hole into a milking frenzy on his dick. He could sense I was getting tired though, so eventually he pulled me down to a kiss, and then slowly worked me onto my back. It was time for me to be used, and I started to tell him so. “Sir, I need….” He loved it when I called him Sir. “Shhhhh,” he interrupted me. “I know. Don’t you think I know what you need by now?” He moved the pillow from behind my head and spread my legs a bit. He cupped his hands at my knee pits so he could push my legs down and out. And then he started to drill my hole. Hard. I was in full fuckpig mode at this point, so there was nothing but pleasure for me in his wrecking my cunt. His cock was making the heavens open up when he went deep, and the tug on my hole was tingling all my nerve endings. And all that meat in between was like a Mack truck driving across my prostate. He was going to force my load out no-handed again… it was just a matter of time. I just hope I could hold out as long as him. Eventually he got my knees up on his shoulders so he could really piston into me with his full weight. I cupped my hands around the back of his neck so I could stare at him as he wrung his pleasure from me. “Cum in me, sir. Please. Please, sir,” I begged. “I’m getting so close, bud. Gonna knock up that sweet ass of yours once and for all,” he grunted. “Gonna make you mine. You’re gonna be mine forever after this.” He was really fucking me with everything he had now. I could feel his cock getting that little extra bit harder that he did right before he came. I knew all of his tells now. I waited until I could see the orgasm in his eyes. “Until death do us part,” I whispered. With a loud “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!” he unleashed his toxic seed deep inside me. He made sure to plant his cock all the way to the hilt so I could feel his head pulsing up past my second ring because he knew I liked that the best. When his orgasm subsided, he noticed I hadn’t cum yet. So without me having to ask, he got his hands in my knee pits again, and started fucking me slowly with his still hard cock. He stared at me intently as he did this. Then he started his verbal assault. “You liked that, didn’t you, you fuckin pig? You liked me leaving a fucking cumload deep in that cunt of yours? That filthy fucking pig cunt? You’re just a fuckin hole to me, you know that? I just say all the love crap to keep you hot for my dick. You’re nothing but a fucking cum receptacle. A hole. A cock socket. You exist to get my dick off. And guess what, you stupid fucker? I’m POZ! You just got filled with a dirty fuckin load. I’m grinding that toxic seed into your ass walls. Hope you like getting pozzed up you stupid fucking….” “UGGGGGGGHHHHHH!” I cried, as my first volley of cum spattered my chest and chin. Several more spurts came afterward, as I unloaded my balls everywhere. He kept fucking me slowly to push out every drop. I shook with ecstasy every time his cock pushed deep. He buried himself in me, and then started playing with my nipples. It was almost more than I could bear and my asshole danced like mad on his dick. “Fuck, you’re gonna milk out another one!” he warned. Without pulling out, he worked me onto my hands and knees, and started throwing the dick to me again. Hard and fast. As I had already cum, I was kind of in “exit only” mode, but I also knew I wanted to get him off again. So I hit the poppers hard and let him have me. I do my best bottoming work doggy, and have been known to pull the load out of a guy with my ass skills. So I set to working and milking and gripping my hole on him, all while throwing my ass back to meet his thrusts. It was not long before I was treated to a long, guttural grunt and the quick throb of his cock inside me, signaling that I had just done my job successfully yet again. This time, when he was finished, he pulled out slowly and then smacked his wet dick on my ass. We collapsed in a heap on the bed. As we cuddled later, and as I was starting to drift off, he said, “You know I didn’t really mean that bit about…” “Shhhh,” I interrupted. “Being in love means never having to say you’re sorry for things said to get your cock socket to cum no handed.” “Dork,” he chuckled. * * About a week later when I was basically back to feeling like myself, Kurt suggested that it might be time for me to get to the doctor. “Just to confirm our suspicions, you know. For the sake of science,” he said. “You just want to know if your track record is still intact, you sick fuck,” I said jokingly. “I’ll call and set up something for next week or so.” “Keep me posted,” he hummed happily. I was masking my feelings pretty well around Kurt and I kept up my typical jovial banter, but inwardly I was concerned. Concerned and worried and nervous and scared and a whole lot of other emotions. Ok, so maybe I had technically been ‘bug chasing’ in a matter of speaking, but it wasn’t really about that. It was more about getting Kurt, not about getting sick. He just happened get off on pozzing guys, so that was the tradeoff I decided to make. And it was indeed my decision, one which I fully embraced. I chose to let him breed me that first time, to give him what he wanted. I could have done the day after treatment, but I chose not to. And I also chose—repeatedly—to let him try to convert me through almost daily breeding sessions. But now, after having a week of fever and chills, it suddenly became real. Like REAL real. Like “what have I done” real. Was it worth it? Was Kurt worth it? What would happen next? I found myself worrying about healthcare for the first time in my life. And job security. And HIV stigma. And medication cost. And side effects. And sickness. I knew I needed to find out early in order to get started on a pill regimen if I was positive, but I didn’t want to take that first step yet. But the ‘what happens next’ question also applied to other aspects of my life moving forward. And would I be moving forward with Kurt. Was there even an ‘us’? I know Kurt said he wanted to convert me so that we could be together forever, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he was really serious about that. And all this is what paralyzed me and kept me from setting up a doctor’s appointment. These thoughts were consuming my brain every minute of the day and causing me to spiral down the rabbit hole of unknowns. I was unfocused at work and I wasn’t sleeping well. And I was really starting to get depressed. At home, I was becoming quiet and lethargic. I was even starting to beg off going to the gym with Kurt (which I normally enjoyed). I mean, who wouldn’t want to go watch their boyfriend in tight gym clothes, lifting weights, getting all sweaty and making other boys drool? Anyway, I managed to keep Kurt at bay for an additional two weeks or so, with flimsy excuses as to why I hadn’t gone to the doctor yet. I was tired. I had to work. The holidays had me down. There weren’t any appointments before Thanksgiving. Let’s wait till December between the holidays. Finally, Kurt started losing his patience with me. “Dude, you need to get tested,” he grumbled. “Don’t make me withhold sex from you.” “HA! As if you could say no to all this,” I laughed, while gesturing to myself. I was desperately trying to deflect where this conversation was headed. “C’mon. We need to know. YOU need to know. You aren’t scared about it or anything, are you?” he goaded. “No, I’m not scared,” I lied. “Then why haven’t gone in? It’s seriously like 10 minutes and done. Easy peasy.” “There just hasn’t been a good time for me,” I said weakly. Kurt gave me ‘the look’ over the tops of his gold frame 70’s aviator frame glasses that made him look like a porn star. “Do it. Before this weekend.” “Oh Yes SIR,” I saluted. As much as he liked me calling him Sir, he did NOT like it when I used it sarcastically. This earned me an exasperated sigh and a ‘time out’ until dinner. And as you can probably guess, the end of the week rolled around and I still hadn’t gotten tested. Kurt had actually been good and not brought up the subject since our little spat earlier in the week. He also let me mope about without peppering me with more questions. I figured he was finally giving me space, which was nice of him. And he definitely had NOT withheld on the sex, thank God, although the volume was way down, which added to my fears, as Kurt basically needed sex daily. Still, I’d been pretty quiet and introspective all week and it didn’t go unnoticed. When I got home on Friday, I found him waiting for me expectantly. “Get changed, Eyore. I’m taking you out on a date,” he said. Perhaps this is what I needed to help get my mind off things. So, I did as I was instructed and got ready. As I was choosing what to wear I called out, “Where are we going?” “Nowhere fancy, just the usual. But wear the 501’s. I wanna show off my boyfriend’s hot ass.” Oh yes sir, I thought and smiled for the first time all week. We hopped in his car, and he reached over and held my hand as we drove. We listened to music and I just let him drive and was happy. But then I noticed we were not exactly going to our typical restaurant areas. “Babe, where exactly are we going?” I said, as I started to get alarmed. “Um… ok. Don’t be mad,” he started. “Hearing the words ‘don’t be mad’ is basically a surefire way to make me mad. What did you do?” I clapped back. “I made us an appointment at my doctor,” he came clean. Suddenly I felt like a dog that had been promised a car ride only to discover it was a trip to the Vet. “Jesus, you’re unbelievable!” I spat. “I just KNEW you wouldn’t do it yourself, so I’m making it happen. We’re doing this and getting it over with. My doctor is very cool and supportive and it’ll be painless. And I’m going with you to be there for you, no matter what,” he stated loudly and with finality. I sulked in the seat next to him with my arms crossed and refused to look at him. I know I was being a petulant child about it all, but I don’t think I can accurately describe just how much my stomach was in knots at that moment. My guts basically turned to liquid and I nearly started hyperventilating as it felt like we were speeding along to my execution. We rolled up to his doctor’s office, where we were obviously the last appointment of the day as the lot was basically empty. The doctor greeted us the moment we were in the door. “Hey, I was almost beginning to give up on you guys,” he said congenially as he hugged Kurt. “Hi, I’m Doctor Stone, but you can call me Doc. Most everyone does.” He shook my hand. Kurt had a very good relationship with his doctor all things considered, which is how he wangled this appointment even without me being a patient. At least not yet. Doctor Stone was gay and about 60, and admittedly a stone-cold fox. He had silver hair and a full beard, and was definitely rocking a great body beneath a very snug smock. Kurt told me that he frequently participated in triathelons and he had even been a Mr. Leather a couple years prior. The good doctor even took 3rd overall at IML—which I could totally see after meeting him in person. And while I don’t think the doc knew ALL of Kurt’s… proclivities… he definitely appeared to have his finger on the pulse of the gay community, specifically the leather/kink community. Having a hot, built, gay, leatherdaddy doctor though was not necessarily going to make this any easier for me. If anything, I was now also feeling shame and embarrassment on top of my fears. “Where’s your staff?” I asked. “Oh, they’ve left for the day. For what you’re here for, I can do all the work—if that’s ok,” he said earnestly. I nodded. “Kurt, why don’t you wait here for us, and I’ll just take him on back. We’ll get you when we’re done,” the Doc said. So Kurt sat down in the waiting room, and started playing on his phone. I followed the Doc back, butterflies jackhammering in my guts. We got back to the exam room and he sat me down. He sat down too, smiled warmly, and he took my hand. “I want you to know that no matter what the results, it’s going to be ok. YOU are going to be ok. You know that, right?” he patted my hand comfortingly. “This is just knowledge, and knowledge is power.” I nodded and swallowed thickly. “So, do you know if you’ve been exposed to HIV?” he asked, even though I was pretty sure he knew the answer. “Yes,” I answered quietly. “I mean, yes I know I’ve been exposed.” He nodded. “And, do you think you might be HIV positive?” he enquired. “Yes,” I answered again. “Why do you think that?” “Well, Doc. I got pretty sick with kind of a flu-like illness about a month ago. And I’d been, um, having lots of unprotected sex before that.” And while I was deliberately obtuse about exactly with whom I’d been having the sex, I was pretty sure the good Doctor knew. The Doc nodded. “Ok then. I’m going to do two tests—one is the quick oral swab test. The other will be the blood antibody test. I’ll go ahead and draw the blood, as I can get that test going as the confirmatory sample.” And then the Doc set about to work. He swabbed my mouth and found a good vein and drew some blood. When he was done, he stood up. “Now I’m going to process these—it won’t take long. Just wait here. And remember what I said. Everything is going to be ok, kiddo.” And with a wink and a warm smile, he left me to wait. * * After what felt like an eternity, the Doctor came back in. I tried to read his face, but couldn’t. My guess is that he’d learned to school his expression after doing hundreds of these tests. He sat down across from me again. I almost couldn’t breathe. “Your oral test came back positive for HIV,” he stated. “Oof, way to pull that bandaid right off, Doc,” I said, a warm dizziness rushing over me. “The second test will confirm it shortly, but I wanted to start preparing you for the outcome. How are you feeling at this moment?” He asked with care in his eyes. “I… don’t know? A little shocked and sad maybe? Although if I’m being honest, I’m not surprised given my recent behavior. I think deep down I knew that was always going to be the outcome. But I don’t think I’m fully grasping the reality of it all yet. But I mean, I’m not gonna burst into tears or off myself anything, if that’s what you were getting at.” The Doctor smiled good-naturedly. “That was a good answer. I know it’s a lot to take in, even if you had a sneaky feeling you might be HIV positive. And even if you may have… deliberately… been acting in a manner contrary to being safe. It’s always a bit of a shock to hear the words spoken aloud. I mean, I still remember when I got my diagnosis 20 years ago.” “Wait. You’re poz?” I asked, somewhat startled. “I am. It’s very well managed, as it has been for two decades. I’m undetectable and very healthy. Just as you can be once on meds. Like I said, kiddo, you will be just fine regardless.” “It seems weird that a gay Doctor of your… generation… who treats gay men is HIV positive, given all your expertise and training and the AIDS crisis and stuff,” I said. He looked at me deeply. “I may be a Doctor, but I’m human too. I think people tend to forget that last part. And I’m a gay human, with very strong sexual urges and questionable decision-making skills in certain scenarios. Much like you, I’d wager. Honestly though, I choose to view myself as lucky. I’m healthy, and I feel that being positive gives me a better understanding of what it all means, so that I can treat my patients with empathy a greater level of care. I can also draw on my own sexual history in order to be non-judgmental. My goal is to be there for my patients. To listen and be a good medical provider. So, a guy can tell me he’s a barebacking cumslut who gets off on taking dirty loads, and it doesn’t phase me one bit.” He was looking at me intently as he said this last bit. I blushed strongly at his words. “Well, as you may have guessed I’m not exactly an angel…” I said. “Been there, done that, got charged and have the receipts,” he chuckled. And instantly I was more at ease and the knot in my guts started to relax a bit. “I’m going to go check your other test and I’ll be right back.” And he was off again. The Doc came back a few minutes later and it was confirmed. I was now officially HIV+. It still didn’t quite feel real to me, and my head was swimming a bit, but I also felt lighter than I had in months. Like a weight had been lifted. The doc and I chatted a bit more and he offered me his services as a primary physician. I told him I’d like that very much. He told me to call soon to set up an appointment when I was ready where we could discuss treatment options. The good Doctor walked me back out front. As soon as we stepped into the waiting room, Kent was on his feet, looking at me expectantly. I decided to be a bit mean. “Down boy, it was a false alarm,” I said with a smile. The look on Kurt’s face was priceless. He tried to smile and not show his bitter disappointment, and he failed miserably at both. I knew I was going to let him off the hook eventually, but not just yet. And not here in front of his doctor. “Thanks, Doc for taking this extra time out of a Friday for me,” I said genuinely. “Any time,” he said. “Now you two have a fun evening. Oh, need any condoms? They’re free.” He grabbed a basket off the reception desk and waived them at us. I took one to be nice, and the Doc winked at me conspiratorially. “And Kurt- it’s about time you visited for a checkup, don’t you think?” Kurt promised to visit in the next few weeks. They hugged goodbye, and the doc whispered something to him. Kurt nodded sheepishly. Then he grabbed my hand as we headed out. * * After the Doctor’s visit, he took me to my favorite place- Tres Gattos. A little dive Mexican cantina off the beaten path that had killer margs, damn good queso and burritos the size of your head. We sat in the booth and ordered our usual, and I found Kurt to be a bit quieter than normal. “What’s up, Buttercup?” I asked, wanting to watch him squirm a bit longer. “Oh, nothing,” he said sullenly. “Dude, cut the crap. You’re upset about something. What is it? You upset I’m still neg?” “Um, Yeah, actually. And I feel bad for feeling upset about it, ok? I should be glad you’re still ok. But damnit, I was SO sure you were gonna be! I was positive we had an anniversary to celebrate, pun intended. I… I even had a gift ready for you,” he said, eyes downcast. “You’ve been ‘gifting’ me for awhile now, stud,” I quipped. I thought for sure he’d chuckle at my “gift” joke. Instead he just sighed and looked at me like a sad puppy. “Can I ask what the gift is?” I said hopefully. Quietly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. A fucking RING box. And if THAT didn’t just make me feel like the prize asshole of the century. “Duuuuuude,” I exhaled. “Whutdafuk is that?” “Go ahead… open it,” he said glumly. I opened it slowly, and my heart kind of stuttered a bit. Inside was a Claddagh ring. Gold. I just sat there with the open box in my hand, starting at it. “There’s an inscription, too,” he said. I picked it up, and inside the band it said: Forever mine, 11/5/18. Our anniversary date. The supposed date of my conversion. I put the ring back in the box, closed it, and set it on the table. Jesus he was going to be mad. “Ok, so don’t be mad…” I started. His eyes snapped up to mine. “When you say “don’t be mad” that’s a surefire way to make me mad,” he said dangerously. “Um… so, back at the Doc’s office? I may have, um… fibbed… a little? About my diagnosis? Kind of?” He stared at me blankly, his jaw slack. “Because I am. Um. Positive.” “You’re positive,” he said flatly. “Yes. I’m quite positive that I’m… positive. So… surprise?” I said through a toothy, tight smile. He looked at me for probably a good 10 seconds before “Why the fuck would you DO that?” Yeah, he was kinda pissed. “Oh, I don’t know,” I whispered hotly. “Maybe because my boyfriend hijacked me to a doctor’s appointment after promising a date night?” “Dude! I cannot even. Just… dude.” He said shaking his head. “I thought you’d be happier to hear that we’re pregnant,” I said with a sigh. Kurt just gave me his ‘over-the-glasses’ look again, appraising me quietly. (He was wearing his glasses more now, because he knew how the gold frames highlighted his honey-amber eyes, and how much the 70’s porn stud look turned me on). Even pissed at me, he was so goddamn sexy. He was not going to make this easy. “Here. Let’s do this again,” I said as I slid the ring back across the table. “It’s really very nice and very sweet. I promise to act surprised when you give it to me. Here, take it.” He snatched up the ring box and stashed it in his pocket again. “Nope. I don’t think I want to give it to you now,” he said with a sniff. “I better get that ring. Don’t make me withhold sex from you.” “HA! As if you could say no to all this,” he said pointing to his crotch. A small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You know I hate it when you quote me back to me,” I grumbled, crossing my arms. “Oh I know,” he said smugly as he popped a chip in his mouth. We locked eyes over the table, and I could tell that he wasn’t pissed at me anymore. He was now just toying with me, because he could. And because he knew that I secretly liked verbal sparring very much. His eyes were dark and glittery again, and I could read his mind like it was a large print book. “Guess I’m just gonna have to make it up to you somehow,” I said with as much wicked innuendo as I could muster. I downed my margarita in about 3 gulps and then very slowly licked the salt off the rim. His eyes were glued to my tongue the entire time. Then I stood up and announced that I needed to go to the bathroom. As I got out of the booth, I made a show of dropping my wallet accidentally, and bent over slowly to retrieve it. I could almost feel the heat of his gaze boring a hole through my 501’s. Because I know Kurt and what date night can mean, I prepped my ass as part of getting dressed for our date. I also brought a small bottle of lube, because you just never know when or where we may go at it hammer and tongs. Which made our sex life all the more exciting. The men’s room at Tres Gattos was just about what you’d expect. Terra cotta tile floor, cheap Mexican tile on the walls. It was a two-holer, a urinal and a toilet, both just open, and a small counter with a sink. It was definitely not the cleanest bathroom, and there was always a stale beer piss smell in the air. And naturally there was also a lock on the door. We had made use of this lock before. I had my pants dropped to my ankles while I stood at the urinal, my ass lubed for him. I actually did have to piss, so I was just finishing that as he came in. I didn’t flush. I just stood and waited as he locked the door. “I told Jorge we’d be back to the table in a few and to keep our food warm for us,” Kurt whispered as he came up behind. Jorge was our favorite cute, gay waiter with whom we loved to flirt. I think Jorge had a little thing for me, which made Kurt a wee bit jealous. Which I loved. Jorge also knew what was up, so he took good care of us. And we tipped generously. “Now about that ring,” I said as I lubed up Kurt’s dick. Kurt really gets off on public sex, of course. Hell, the first time I met him he was knocking up a guy in a bathroom at our local gay bar! When we’re at home, he takes his sweet time in cumming. He can almost go indefinitely, but he’s good about sensing when I am almost about out of patience for the load. Now, the nice thing for me with the public sex is that Kurt cums fairly easily. He knows we have to be expeditious with it, so it’s all about the hot, dirty, pump n dump scene. I figured I could get a quick load from him this time, especially with the ace up my sleeve. I arched my back and leaned my chest forward to the urinal. I could smell the rank piss which admittedly was turning me on as his huge cockhead pushed into me. I worked my ass on him as we worked him in past the thick part. He grabbed my hips and started in with quick, shallow thrusts. It was all I could do to relax without my usual poppers, but the scene was turning me on too. I definitely liked knowing I could flash my ass and get him to breed me anytime, anywhere. I started to work my hole on his cock, and he snarled appreciatively. Mindful of Jorge and our food, I decided to play my ace. “I guess you did it after all,” I said. “Did what?” he grunted. “You finally knocked me up. Those poz swimmers of yours finally took. Yeah, fuck my newly poz cunt, sir. YOU did that. It’s yours. You put your stamp in it, and now I’m toxic too! That dirty fucking DNA is in me forever now. Yeah, sir! Add to my viral load! Do it! Give this cumdump another fithy fuckload!” “Ugggghhhh!” he grunted quietly as his dick started throbbing inside me. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he whispered, his forehead resting against me as he parked his dick and emptied himself. Now, one of the best things about the pump n dump stand up sex with Kurt is that he’s NOT all the way up in my colon when he cums. Don’t get me wrong, I LIVE for that. But I also like this. Here he’s only about halfway in with his dick, so I really feel the spurts of his load. I also tend to feel really greasy-wet and full afterward. It’s hot as hell. It’s also a crapshoot (pun intended) to see if I can keep it all in me, or if it starts to leak out. Once he was spent, he pulled out and a bit of his load leaked out and started to run down the back of my thigh. I scooped it up, and fingered it back into my hole. He grabbed a wet paper towel and tossed it to me, and then he grabbed another and cleaned himself off. We then made ourselves presentable, washed up, and headed back to the table where Jorge had left us two fresh margaritas. I sat in the booth with a satiated smile on my face. I kept staring at Kurt, and he kept staring right back at me, half smiling. “I don’t know if that quite makes up for things,” he said, “but here. For you.” He pulled out the ring box again and slid it across the table. “For ME? Well I DECLARE!” I drawled while blinking rapidly and fanning myself. He laughed and groaned simultaneously. “Oh Jesus, just try the stupid thing on already.” I took it out of the box, smiled, and handed it to him. “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it,” I sang quietly, as I flourished my hand. He slid it on my right ring finger- the heart facing me, not outward, to show that my heart was taken. And it fit perfectly, and I stared at it appreciatively. “Where’s yours?” I asked. “One cannot buy a claddagh ring for oneself, it’s bad luck,” he said dismissively as if everyone knew this. “So I guess you’ll be expecting a blowjob later,” I grimaced. “Blowies for jewelry is an age old understanding between men and their bitches,” he smiled. “Careful there,” I cautioned. And he flashed me his big, dimpled smile, knowing I would swoon. It completely worked, the bastard. Jorge came back then with our food then. He smiled knowingly and asked if we had washed up and if he needed to perhaps tidy up the men’s room? We assured him that we left it just fine. He joked that perhaps he should put a camera in there, just to make sure the customers were being safe. “Oh, we’re never safe,” we told him in unison. I then mentioned that I was ‘embarazada’ now, and how he blushed at that! But I also saw a distinct, hefty tenting in his black trousers, as he left us to our meals. “If you keep being mean to me, I can always give Jorge my ass,” I suggested. Kurt growled. “Not if he knows what’s good for him. There’s a ring on that shit. It’s MINE now.” I laughed and we finished our meals and hand another margarita apiece. Jorge was lovely and I enjoyed making him blush a couple more times. We made sure to leave an even larger tip than usual before heading home. * * Later that night in bed, I played with the ring on my finger and my mind was whirring a million miles an hour. I was too keyed up to sleep. Kurt was spooning me (I was almost always little spoon) and I guess he picked up on my restlessness. He shifted and rested his head right up at my neck. “What’s going on, bud?” he asked quietly. “Nothing. Just can’t sleep. Probably the burrito baby kicking,” I lied. I just didn’t think I was ready to unload all my crazy thoughts onto him. “Mmm-hmmm,” he said and he squeezed me a bit tighter. He let me stew and simmer a bit longer before he spoke again. “We haven’t talked about it yet. You testing positive, I mean. I guess we cleverly distracted ourselves with sex when we got home. But I know it has to be weighing heavily on you. It’s weighing on me too. So… talk to me, Goose. What’s going on in that delightfully chaotic brain of yours.” I lay quietly as I tried to decide what I wanted to say that wouldn’t freak him out. I eventually decided to downplay it a bit. “I’m just… processing it all. You know? Wondering what happens next. Where my life goes from here. What it all means. Just tiny, insignificant shit like that.” “Baby, your life isn’t going to change that much- trust me. You are going to be fine. And I’m going to be right here with you through thick and thin,” He said confidently. “Will you, though?” I pondered aloud. Which as soon as it left my mouth I knew to be a mistake. “What do you mean by that?” Kurt asked, a slight edge in his voice. I scooched away from him and took a deep breath before speaking into the darkness. “Are you happy? Happy that I’m positive and that you are the one infected me?” I asked in a soft voice. He was quiet for a minute before answering. “Maybe… yes? Kind of? But I’m sad, too. Or melancholy about it. And scared, too a bit. It’s a whole mixture of things. I’m sure the Germans have some sort of compound word for it.” “What happens now that you knocked me up?” I said. “What do you mean “what happens now”? “I mean, what happens to me? To us?” “We live happily ever after?” he suggested. “I’m serious, Kurt,” I said, moving myself to the edge of the bed in self-imposed isolation. “I dunno. I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking me.” Oh god. There was a leak in the dyke and everything was starting to pour out of me, unchecked. “Like, because the chase is done, what happens to me now? What’s to become of me? I mean, what’s the point of fucking me anymore because I already caught the bug, right? Am I some sort of “pig”malion that you dump back in the gutter so you can find another negative conquest to dickmatize and infect?” “Whoa whoa whoa! DickmaWHAT? Where’s this coming from?” he said alarmed. I was still turned away from him in the dark and my agitation level had risen dramatically now. I spoke the fears in my heart into the darkness. “Kurt, I don’t know what you can possibly see in me now. The one thing I had to offer you, my negative virginity, is gone. Kaput. So what’s my value to you? Certainly it’s not my hole, as you can find one of those anywhere. And I’m just a stupid boy with a stupid crush who was stupid enough to let you infect me and now I’m going to be dumped and nobody will date me because I’m tainted goods so I’ll be doomed to spend the rest of my life alone and I’ll die one of those big city deaths where nobody knows I’m gone until the stench drifts into the hallway.” I was almost hyperventilating now. “You regret becoming HIV positive?” he asked point blank. I didn’t answer. I didn’t know exactly how to answer him yet. “Oh my god. Do you resent me?” he asked in a panic. “What? I don’t…” I sort of fumbled. “You just told me you were stupid for letting me infect you. Do. You. Resent. Me?” he stated, very pointedly. Again I didn’t answer immediately. “Oh jesus. You do. So it’s just a matter of time, then. The resentment will fester and then you’ll leave me. Maybe not like Bo did, but you will. Jesus. I’ve ruined another life and another chance. How fucked up is this?” he laughed bitterly as he rolled away from me. And now it was my turn to panic more. Kurt was starting to shut down, which was not good. “Kurt… it isn’t… Ugh. This is why I didn’t want to get tested. Or talk about all this because my brain isn’t ready for this yet.” “Whatever,” he sighed. “Message received. Loud and clear.” “Whoa. Now you hold the fuck up for one minute. I just went through a life-altering diagnosis today, so I think I’ve earned a little leeway here,” I said, getting snippy. “I’m sorry if I haven’t processed everything into coherent, easily digestible soundbites for your consumption.” Kurt didn’t say anything. “Ok, since my brain is on the fritz at the moment, I’m just gonna go full open kimono on you,” I said. “Open kimono? Really?” I could hear a tinge of amusement in his voice. “It means…” I started. “I know what it means, slugger. It was just… odd… to hear boardroom speak in the middle of our heart to heart.” “It still applies. Kind of. So. I’m just going to go ahead and do something I never do. Which is lay bear my heart. Regardless of the outcome. And you’re going to let me, because I deserve it.” Kurt was still rolled away from me and he didn’t say anything. But I could tell he was waiting intently. “Kurt? I’m kind of a mess at the moment. I’m a jumble of emotions, but fear is the dominating one right now. And it isn’t fear about HIV so much… it’s more fear of losing you.” “Baby! I told…” he started as he rolled over to face me. “Shhhhhh,” I admonished. “I’m nowhere near done yet.” He scooched closer until our knees touched under the covers. “Do I regret getting HIV? Yeah, kinda, if I’m being honest. But only because it complicates shit. Life would be probably a whole lot easier if we were both neg and on prep and free to be our slutty fucking piggy selves. But that isn’t our story. So the poz thing was the price I had to pay in order to keep you. So I paid it. And no, I don’t resent you for it.” “I really like you, Kurt. And I… I love you. Like Head over heels love. Hopelessly and helplessly. And I really like what we’re… doing. I totally like being your… hole. And I’m pretty sure you like me being that for you. But part of my fear is that this is all I really am to you.” “Baby, that’s not…” he started to protest. I cut him off by putting my hand on his mouth briefly. “Kurt… To me, you’re… everything. You are all and you are more. You’ve become so important in my life so quickly that it scares the everloving fuck out of me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Ever. I look at you and you’re so beautiful that it hurts. Literally physically hurts. My chest gets tight and I can’t breathe sometimes. You’re like this hotter, builter, sexier mustachioed version of Henry Cavil and I can’t even. Seeing your body- in or out of clothes- gives me butterflies. When I see your dimples, my knees get weak. Your touch is like an electric shock on my skin. Your gaze makes me shiver. And when you blast me with your full smile? I can’t hold a single coherent thought in my head.” “So, you like me for my body and my mustache,” he sighed. “Not done talking,” I chastised. “And yes. Physically you crank me to 11. But it goes way beyond your physical charms. You make me laugh. You make me want to make YOU laugh. I want to talk with you and explore with you. I love just sitting with you quietly. You make me feel taken care of. I’m comfortable around you and I finally feel like my true self. My darker self. And when you hold me, I feel safe. As I think about all this and it feels like a crazy dream.” He reached out and grabbed my hands under the covers and held them. “And I’m terrified,” I whispered, “that one day you’ll wake up and just decide I’m not worth it and ditch me to find a better hole. Or worse, grow tired of me and start treating me with utter indifference. Seeing you look at me again like I’m worthless… like you did in the bar that one night… would absolutely destroy me, Kurt. And I’m so fucking scared that it’s coming.” “I can handle the poz thing. I can handle the being alone thing. And I can even handle you throwing me away- I think. As long as I don’t get even more invested than I am right now. Because the longer this goes… the longer we go… the easier it will be for you to crush me. So, if you think that this is the way it’s going, can you please tell me now, so I can maybe salvage something of myself?” Kurt was quiet. Quiet for a long time. And the longer the silence went, the more scared I got. Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. “Kurt? Can you say something? Please?” “Oh, are you through open-kimonoing now? Is it my turn?” he said, softly sarcastic. “Yes. I’m done. For now. I think. Maybe not.” I babbled. “First of all let me just say… “ he drew a big breath, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pushed you to get tested. I’m sorry I didn’t think about the impact to you and what you might be feeling. I’m sorry I wasn’t more understanding. I should have been much more empathetic and listened to you had I taken the time to remember what it was like for me.” “Oh, It’s…” I started to say before he cut me off. “Hush now. It’s my turn,” He said with a smile in his voice. “You said that you worried that you were just a hole to me. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am endlessly captivated by you and am hopelessly in love with you. I love that you’re this sexy dork, with a quick wit and deep intelligence that keeps me on my toes. I love your brain! And I love that you are kind and thoughtful. I love the way you look at me, it turns my insides molten.” “So I’m a dork that stares at you like a goober,” I sighed, trying not to smile. “Not done talking yet,” he mimicked sarcastically. “Yes. You are a dork. MY dork. But you know what the best part about you is? It’s that you have absolutely NO clue how hot you are. None! You are completely oblivious, and it’s endearing and frustrating and it makes me want to shake you sometimes. But damned if it doesn’t also make you even that much hotter.” “I am SO not…” I started again and Kurt actually growled at me. “Got it. Shutting up now.” I swallowed. “You ARE hot. AND oblivious. God, I love going to the gym with you because so many guys check you out, it’s ridiculous. And you have no idea it’s happening. You’re like this tight body, otter version of Julian Edelman, with an ass that just sits up and begs. You know, I’ve actually had guys walk up to me and ask me about you and what our deal is. A couple guys have even given me their number for me to give to you, as they weren’t sure how to approach you. Hell, I don’t get half the attention that you do and it’s starting to bruise my ego a bit. And the 501’s? Your ass can stop traffic in the 501’s.” I was blushing now, the heat filling my cheeks. “I like spending time with you too. I like watching movies with you and our date nights. And yes, I like the sex. and that you are my insatiable honey hole. I trust that much is obvious! But like you, I’m worried about the sex part, too. I’m worried that all I am to you is a big cock and a high sex drive. What happens when my body starts to go or my libido wanes and I can’t give you what you so obviously crave? What then?” It was my turn to grab his hands and hold them. “What terrifies ME is you growing to resent me or getting disappointed by me and deciding to leave. And I firmly believe there is a higher probability of this than me leaving you. I think that was why I was so desperate to convert you. So that we would be linked and have this bond we share. And also so that it might bind you closer to me… so that you won’t leave me.” “Once upon a time I thought this would be the case with Bo, but looking back, I realize that Bo never would have left me, even if we were serodiscordant. He was always far too dependent on me, which I believe left him vulnerable and weaker in the end. But you? You’re stronger than Bo—stronger than me for that matter. You don’t need me. I know you could leave any time and be just fine on your own, and then where’ll I be, huh?” We were both quiet for a long time, laying curled up facing each other in the dark. Eventually, I scooched closer until my forehead was against his and my nose touched his nose. I rubbed our noses together casually. “Kurt, I know we both just unloaded a lot of crap. But this is good. And you were right. We did need to talk about all this. And I think we will be having some more conversations in the coming days. But for right now… can I… can I kiss you?” I asked hopefully. “Being in love means never having to ask if you can kiss me,” he said huskily. “You know I hate it when you quote me back to me, asshole,” I said lovingly. “Oh I know,” he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. And then I kissed him. Oh how I kissed him! Naturally a kiss with us is rarely just a kiss. This one escalated quickly, and soon we were very hot and heavy again. He had me on my back and was full on making out with me, grinding his hardness into me. Being under his mass and feeling the heat of him had me cranked up in no time flat. After a few more minutes, we finally broke apart. “Alexa, turn lights to 20%,” he barked. And the lights in the bedroom came on low. “Why you turning on the lights?” I asked. “Because I want you to see my face and how serious I am,” he replied. He threw the covers off us, then he used his knees to force my legs apart. He kept peppering me with kisses and licks while he did this. Pretty soon my legs were spread, and I was open and vulnerable in front of him. “You think you’re just a hole for me? Do you?” he growled as he sucked my neck a little. “You think that’s all you are?” His hard cock nudged against my asshole. I may have whimpered a little. He looked at me. “Buddy, you are so much more than that. SO much more.” Then he grabbed the lube and slathered his cock and my hole with it. His head ever-so-slowly sliding into me until he was in me to the hilt. “Jesus Kurt,” I hissed. “Fuck me! Now!” “No,” he said flatly. “I’m not going to fuck you.” “Um… whaaaa?” I stammered. “Oh please, sir! Pretty please? You’re inside me, that’s basically the beginning part of fucking! And after everything we just said….” “Shhhh. I just need to be as close to you as I can get for this. Burying myself inside you and having you wrapped around me is important right now,” he said as he brought his face an inch from mine. “I’m going to make a vow. Right now. And you know I’m serious because intercourse is basically my religion and I’m inside my Bible right now, ok,?” I nodded that I understood. He stared into my soul, his amber eyes glowing in the soft light. “I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Period. You are stuck with me, bud, for better and for worse. I promise to keep my body fit for you, and my dick hard for you. I promise to always check with you before changing my facial hair, because I want you to be happy when you look at me. I promise to take care of you, and to listen more, and to make you laugh at least once a day, and to give you epic makeup sex when we do have a fight. And I promise not to ever go to bed mad. And I promise to do better about talking about shit so that we know where we’re coming from. And I promise not to blast you into space until such time as I grow weary of you…” “Jesus fucking Christ!” I laughed. “You just quoted Flash Gordon to me in your love declaration? And you call ME a dork?” He smiled one of his blinding smiles and every shadow of doubt was blazed away. “I should have said all of that when I gave you the ring tonight. Better late than never, I suppose,” he shrugged and I kissed him tenderly. “I don’t have a ring to give you, unless you count the one that’s around your dick right now,” I lamented with a squeeze of my hole. That made his eyes flutter and earned a sharp inhalation from him. “But what I can give you, Kurt, is my vow: I promise you that I don’t resent you. Not for a minute. I promise you that I love you. Truly, deeply, madly. I promise that you’re stuck with me, too, through thick and thin. At least until my inane babbling annoys you to the point that you can’t stand me anymore. I promise to continue being a dork, and to bike and squat so much that the 501’s can’t contain the magnitude of my ass. I promise to pull you up short and put you through hell and give you support. I promise to only sing Sondheim to on special occasions. I promise to swoon every time you smile at me like you are right now. And I promise that I’ll only ever have eyes for you.” “You through?” he asked with a smile. “Oh, and I promise to be your beck and call boy.” He groaned and laughed. “Ok, Pretty Woman.” “I heard somewhere that you liked the dorky, nerdy type,” I shrugged. “And I heard you like the muscular, Colt model type,” he countered. “Well, actually I’m more a sexy, silver, leatherdaddy rich doctor type—think you can set me up?” I asked innocently. “You’d be disappointed. He’s mostly a bottom,” he said with a wink. We kissed some more this exchange, his hard cock still buried deep inside me. Feeling the fullness that was him inside me was naturally getting me riled up, so I sneakily started to shift my ass around under the guise of getting of comfortable. I also started to slowly clench and release my hole on him. I was nothing if not subtle. I looked up at Kurt beseeching him with my eyes, as I quivered my pucker on him. “That’ll do, pig,” he chuckled. “I told you I’m not fucking you. But… I will share a little secret with you if you promise to stay still for a moment,” he said cryptically. So I waited. Quietly. Kurt adjusted so that he was all the way in me again. He held me closely, hovering over me, face still an inch from mine. I could feel his breath. His amber eyes searching my face, boring into me. I was just about to say something when suddenly his eyes squeezed shut and he exhaled with a tiny grunt, and I felt it. His cock throbbing inside of me. He was emptying himself into me without ever having moved a muscle. He shuddered briefly as his orgasm subsided and his cock started softening inside me. “Dude. Whoa. You just… came… like… spontaneously? I asked quizzically. “Yeah. That’s my secret. I can control my ejaculations with my mind. I learned a long time ago that for me it was more about the mental side than the physical stimulation side. I actually learned at boyscout camp of all places! I would hear my scout master jacking off, and because I didn’t want to get caught I pretended to be asleep and just thought myself to orgasm. I’ve been able to do it ever since. Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the physical side of things. Fucking feels fucking great! But tipping myself to orgasm? That has always been more of a mental exercise for me. Hence the scenes, and places, and dirty talk, and other visual stimuli. And sometimes—given the right circumstances—I can cum like I just did.” “Gives a whole new meaning to ‘be prepared’,” I chuckled. “And you. YOU were a Boy Scout?” “EAGLE Scout. Yes.” He said smugly. “And did you ever, um… do stuff with Scout Master-bater?” “What do hoping to hear?” he laughed. “Something like how my Eagle Scout project was building raised garden boxes and starting an urban vegetable garden for an inner city neighborhood. And how I was fucking my Scout Master, who just so happened to also be my boyfriend’s father, bent over a sawhorse in the wood shop one night when and his wife and my boyfriend walked in on us right as I was cumming in him or something?” “Oh fuck. Is this true?” I said as my dick jumped at the thought. A slow, dirty smile spread across his face. “Scout’s honor. The scandal and fallout that ensued is still being talked about in sewing circles in my hometown to this very day!” “I am SO going to want details on that story later,” I said with an appreciative whistle. And then something else dawned on me. “You know what this little Scout trick means though? It means I can basically tap out whenever I want and STILL get loaded! Fuck the ring… THIS is the best gift EVAR!” “I guess we’ll see,” he chuckled, as he slid languidly from my ass. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but did I hear my dork of a boyfriend drop a Pygmalion pun during our little heart to heart?” And he smiled at me and then kissed me before I could spout my indignation. Later as we spooned (me the big spoon for a change), I felt the rhythmic expansion and contraction of Kurt’s massive back against me. I could tell he was drifting off to sleep, and I knew I wasn’t far behind. But I wasn’t quite ready to follow yet. My mind was deliciously quiet for a change and I was overcome with a warm sense of peace. I realized I was supremely content and happy in the moment. And while I still had things to sort out, I knew the Doc was right. I was going to be okay. And as I began to slowly drift off, I knew that I had taken a big step today. A step toward Acceptance.

No continuations for me. Every story is it’s own contained piece.

Thanks for all the *positive* feedback. I do like receiving the external validation

As of last night I’m at 133 anal loads taken for the year. I keep a journal of every donation. A bit off pace, but I blame Covid for that.

Denial is a powerful thing. Denial can blind you to facts and make it easier to lie to yourself. Denial can protect you from harm. Denial can make you stronger… and weaker. And denial can hone desire. The first time I saw Kurt it was Tuesday, April 25th and he was fucking a guy at the bar. I remember the date because of “Miss Congeniality”. I also remember it because I had agreed to meet there for a first date with a guy I met on Grindr. Naturally he never showed up. Go figure. Technically Kurt wasn’t fucking the guy “at the bar” but in the bathroom. At the trough urinal to be precise. After drinking three beers while waiting for Mr. No-Show, I needed to relieve myself… and there he was. Nailing some twink while they were standing at one side of the trough. The twink was braced up against the wall and Kurt had his hands on his hips and was drilling away. The remaining open area of the trough was occupied by another guy who was ostensibly pissing, but mainly watching the show. And then there was me. Standing there. Utterly frozen. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a prude, sexually. I’d definitely had my fair share of sexual experiences. But my sex to date had been fairly straightforward and shall we say, tame. Definitely not of the “fucking in a bar bathroom” variety. Sure, I’d jacked off to porn like this- but I’d never encountered it in real life. So I think I was kind of stunned to have stumbled into such a scene at my local gay bar. Stunned—yet titillated at the same time. Instantly I had that nervous excitement about it in my guts. Like “this is wrong, but why does it excite me”? Looking back, I’m not sure what it was about Kurt that attracted me so completely and so quickly. I mean, I didn’t usually make a habit of lusting after guys who go around fucking in public toilets. But I was instantly mesmerized by him. Perhaps it was me attaching the sight of him the heady aroma of stale piss, ripe pits, naphtha, and pheromones. Or maybe it was my body tuning into the pulsing waves of sexual confidence radiating from him. Or maybe it was because I was horny and he was just a fucking ridiculously handsome man. Kurt was one of those empirically hot men- the kind you see in Colt magazines or 80’s porn. He was tall. Like a good head taller than me. Swarthy. Muscular. Broad chest and back. Short black hair and a thick beard so dense you could just make out a slash of a mouth in there. A jaw and nose like they’d been sculpted by an LA cosmetic surgeon. A dark pelt of fur covered his substantial chest and taut stomach. Thighs like a Greco Roman wrestler. Was he Italian? Greek? Lebanese? Whatever it was, he was fiercely handsome and built like a fuck tank. That night he was in biker boots, jeans and a leather harness with metal arm bands accentuating his ample biceps. He also had leather wrist cuffs on- like a modern day sex gladiator. As he pummeled the twink, I just stood and stared at him. It was like seeing a unicorn—the kind of guy that never really seemed to exist in real life. The guy pissing eventually left and freed up the trough, but I couldn’t move even though I really had to go. Kurt seemed to sense my presence. Without missing a thrust he called back over his shoulder in a deep voice, “You wanna use him next? I’m just about through.” This sort of snapped me out of it. I kind of stammered a bit and said no, thank you and that I just needed to pee. I moved to the free area next to them, as far to the side as I could manage in order to give them space. I was just freeing my dick from my pants when Kurt looked over. And I made the mistake of looking back. Time seemed to stop as we locked eyes. He stopped thrusting and just stared at me. And I stared back. He was just so beautiful that I felt I should look away. That I wasn’t worth being scrutinized by him. But I couldn’t look away. I was completely immobilized. After what felt like an eternity he spoke. “Don’t piss yet,” he commanded as he continued to stare into my soul. I merely swallowed and nodded my acceptance. Kurt started thrusting again and picked up his tempo, never taking his eyes off mine. Have you ever had a guy look you in the eye while he’s fucking someone else? All that naked lust projected at you. It’s animal. Almost feral. And even though you aren’t being physically penetrated, all of that Alpha energy has a choke-hold on your most primal core. His unblinking stare is daring you to look away from the stolen intimacy. But you won’t look away. You can’t. You are utterly frozen- powerless- waiting until the release of his seed releases his hold over you. Let me tell you. It’s intoxicating. Like nothing I’d ever felt before. It felt like we were in our own time bubble until suddenly he grunts loudly and I know he’s emptying himself into the blissed out twink. He slowly pulls out, gaze unwavering. I finally broke eye contact to look down at the meat that was slowly exiting the twink’s ass. Damn… it was long pullout. A thick, long, glistening cock with a fat, ruddy head eventually popped free of the hole. An enormous PA glinted in the half-light as his cock swung free of its anal confines. I swear Kurt wagged it a bit knowing that I was watching it. I could feel myself blushing. “Now you can piss,” Kurt commanded in a low voice. “Inside him.” My eyes snapped back to him. “Whu- whu- what?” I managed to squeak out. Kurt’s eyes glittered darkly. “Piss. Up his ass. He’s a worthless fuckin’ urinal and I wanna watch you use him as such.” I hesitated. I’d never done anything remotely like this before, and to be honest the whole scene felt like a fever dream. It was all so surreal. Things like this just didn’t happen to me and my brain was shutting down. My skin was hot and felt like it was vibrating. I found myself highly aroused, which disturbed me. It’s like he tapped into some dark sexual side of me that I didn’t know existed but longed to be released. And much like a dream, I felt like I was just being swept along in the story. “Do it. I wanna watch you piss my cum deep into his guts.” I still hadn’t really moved from my side of the trough, my fly undone and my dick out and really needing to piss at this point. Normally I’m pretty pee shy (and also shy about guys seeing my erect dick), but Kurt exerting control was overcoming my shyness and making my cock stiffen regardless. I saw Kurt’s eyes flick down to my groin and then a tug of a grin at the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, you Clark Kent preppy-types. You look like good boys, but there’s always a Superpig hiding just below the surface. All you need is that phone booth.” In a daze I slowly took position behind the twink, and slid my steel-hard dick inside his slick, well-opened chute. I could feel the wet heat of his ass engulf me, but my cock and body was dissociated from my brain. It was like I was watching myself do all of this from beyond myself- aware of it all, but also a bystander. “Fuck him,” Kurt growled. I’m embarrassed to say that I lasted all of perhaps 30 seconds. Kurt, the scene, the fact that this was so beyond the pale for me fairly short circuited my brain. My orgasm caught me by surprise and sort of startled me back to reality. “Oh my god. I just came in him. Without a condom,” I said in a confused whisper. Kurt looked at me with hooded eyes. “Good boy. Now relax that bladder. Fill this urinal up.” Was I really going to do this? I’d just cum inside a random guy at the bar and now I was being asked to piss his ass? All this in the bathroom at the bar on a dead Tuesday night? I could feel myself relaxing into the idea, but also warring against it. The urge to piss was strong and my erection waning, but I was still clenched. Kurt leaned in to whisper. “You’re gonna piss in him… for me. Because I’m giving you permission to give in to your desires. And because you know it will please me.” His hot breath on my neck made me shiver. Or was it merely a pee shiver? Or was it a shiver of my naked desire to please this fucking Alpha sex god? Whatever it was, the last of my inhibitions with the scene fell away and my bladder started emptying into the twink. Something I feel I should mention- I have a big bladder. I’m one of those guys at the movie theater who after the movie lets out, I’m at the urinal for a solid 3 minutes of pissing. Like, the urinals on either side of me will change over at least twice while I’m standing there. I get really self-conscious about it because I always think I might look like a [banned word] or something hanging out in a bathroom. So I always aim for the water so guys can audibly hear that I’m actually going still and not wanking it. (Yeah, I’ve had lots of time to analyze this). After a minute or so, Kurt asks the twink, “He pissing in you?” “Oh god damn yes sir! So much piss sir! I’m getting so full sir!” Kurt looks at me again with a smirk- his glittering, dark eyes raking my very soul. “Good boys.” I eventually finish, and slowly pull out of the urinal kid. “Now clean off his dick,” Kurt tells him. The twink rapidly drops and takes my dick in his mouth and starts sucking me. While this is happening, Kurt is tucking his flaccid equipment back into his jeans and buttoning up. Kurt has washed up and is walking out of the bathroom before I snap out of this weird sex trance. I quickly pull my dick from the twink’s mouth and zipped up. The twink silently resumed his standing post at the trough, awaiting others while I headed for the sink. As I was washing up, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I didn’t even recognize the guy on the other side. What the fuck just happened? I don’t fuck random guys. And I certainly didn’t engage in water sports. Who WAS this person? Had I been drugged? I kind of felt a bit sick to my stomach. But I felt something else too… satisfaction? I splashed water on my face and toweled off before leaving the bathroom. When I made it back to the bar, Kurt was nowhere to be seen. I felt like I needed some answers so I quickly flag the bartender over. “Excuse me, but have you seen a big, burly, dark haired guy who was in a harness and…”. The bartender cuts me off with a harsh, appraising look. “Kurt just left,” he interrupts. “Don’t tell me he’s dickmatized another one?” Another one meaning me. “Oh… no. I just, um, wanted to… talk…to him. Maybe?” The bartender snorted. “Good luck, kid,” he said as he shook his head. “You’re gonna need it.” * * So his name was Kurt, that much I’d learned from the bartender. But where had he come from? Why hadn’t I ever seen him out before? Granted I almost never went to the bars, but still. Someone like him I figure I would have noticed at some point. Or heard about. Or seen online. Or something. Needless to say, I became obsessed with him. Like all-consuming, can’t-focus-at-work obsessed. Every waking moment I was replaying the bathroom scene in my head. My dick was getting raw from jacking off to it. I looked for him on the apps. I looked for him when I was shopping at the grocery store. I started rotating to other gyms in my network to see if I could catch a glimpse of him because he obviously worked out. All to no avail. I also started going to the bar more frequently in the hopes of running into him again. I started to go every Tuesday at the same time as before. But since that wasn’t yielding any results, I started peppering in other nights of the week. And Friday happy hours. I even started asking Charlie (the bartender) about him. As I was becoming a regular, I’d gotten on a first name basis with him. This particular night I plaintively asked, “You seen him recently?” I didn’t even have to give a name anymore as Charlie knew exactly who I was talking about. Normally he’d just roll his eyes at me and shake his head. “Actually, he was in two nights ago,” Charlie told me. Rats! I’d missed him! “And…?” I asked like the needy bitch I was becoming. Charlie looked uncomfortable. “Um, well. He picked up some out of towner, and they left together.” I was crestfallen and Charlie noticed. “Look kiddo. You need to set your sights on a different guy. Kurt is… well, I don’t think he’s a good match for you. I mean, he’s off-the-charts sexy, and you know the fuck would be epic. He’d probably split a little guy like you in half! But he has… issues. And I don’t think he’s exactly your scene. You’d just find yourself used and discarded like a teenage boy’s tube sock. That’s it. “Look. You are cute as hell with a bangin’ little bod on you. And you seem like you got it together, with a good head on your shoulders- at least when it hasn’t been turned by Kurt. You need to put yourself out there and find a nice guy, like yourself. Or even a not so nice guy if you just want sex. You honestly can get yourself any man you want at the drop of a hat!” “I’m not *that* nice,” I replied sullenly. “And evidently I can’t get *any* man.” Charlie just sadly shook his head. It wasn’t until a couple months later that I was at the bar (also on a Tuesday, as it was becoming my regular night) when I saw Kurt again. I almost didn’t recognize him at first. His hair was a bit longer and he was completely clean-shaven. He was also wearing rimless glasses that went with his business-casual drag for the evening. But it was him. It was definitely him. He was leaning up against the bar, beer in hand, in a tight, navy blue polo that looked like it was straining to contain him. He was also chatting with another guy who had his back to me. Kurt was smiling and laughing a little at what the other guy was saying and I felt jealously uncoil in my guts. I positioned myself in Kurt’s line of sight, and tried my best not to stare. It wasn’t working. Kurt wasn’t looking- he only apparently had eyes for this other guy. I drank down my whole beer this way… waiting for Kurt to notice me. Or at least to acknowledge my presence. It didn’t happen. When the other guy finally excused himself to the restroom, I decided it was time to make my move. I walked up to where Kurt was standing and leaned on the bar next to him. “Hey Kurt,” was my opening line. Smooth. He slowly turned to me and then casually tipped his chin down to regard me. His eyes were amber. I wasn’t expecting that. Seconds passed as he stared blankly at me. “Do I know you?” he finally said in a somewhat bored voice. “Um… no. Not exactly… But, um… there was this one time that we….” My voice died on my lips as Kurt’s friend returned. Kurt flicked a dismissive look in my direction and immediately turned away from me and started talking with his friend again. They spoke as if I were invisible. “So—friend of yours?” the guy asked. “Nope. Some rando… He just came up and started talking to me. It was really awkward. So, you wanna get out of here?” “Fuck yeah, daddy, I want my gift! Let’s go!” And then without another look in my direction, Kurt and his “plus one” left for the evening. My eyes stung as I stood at the bar. It was taking a massive effort not to cry right then and there; not like it would have mattered in the mostly dead bar. But still, public bawling over a guy was not high on my to do list. Maybe it was my jealousy, but all I kept thinking was ‘why did he leave with that guy’? I mean, I didn’t think he was all that cute. He was some average, mid-30’s, banker type with a receding hairline and a paunch. Was *that* Kurt’s type? What did he see in him? It was like a gut-punch to the old self-esteem. Eventually Charlie sauntered over, a concerned look on his face. “You ok, kid?” “Charlie, he looked at me like I was something he scraped off his shoe. I haven’t been made to feel like that since high school,” I said. “I mean, what’s that other guy got that I don’t got?” “A death wish,” Charlie mumbled. “What was that?” I asked, curious about his choice of words. “Nothin’ kid. I’m sorry you’re still hung up on him and I know it hurts a bit, but it’s for the best. Hell, they’re called ‘crushes’ for a reason.” He poured me a bourbon and set it in front of me. “Maker’s Mark… for affairs of the heart.” And then he took his leave, so I could nurse the drink, and my wounds, in private. * * After that, I became a bit less of a bar fly and a bit less stalkerish. Kurt still crossed my mind, but now instead of horny, it made me angry. Although I will admit that I found his facebook profile during one of my weaker moments. It was fairly private, so I couldn’t learn much. And it didn’t look like he had posted much in a few years. All I could see were a few pics of him with a guy named Bo who looked like he could be my older brother. However, I had so far managed to resist the urge to request friendship, which I saw as a definite win. I was slowly weaning myself off of Kurt, and getting back to somewhat of a focused life. And it felt good. So a month later when I saw Kurt again, it sort of caught me off guard. Although it really shouldn’t have- as it was at a sex party. Now, let me be clear. Sex parties are not my forte. I’ve only been to like 3 of them, like, ever. And while they are kind of exciting, I think perhaps I give off the wrong sort of vibe or something? Maybe I look too goody two-shoes? Or like I won’t participate? Or I look like I’m nervous (because I am). Whatever it is, I never seem to get laid at them. Maybe a little sucky sucky, but that’s kind of it. Which can be a bit depressing when you see others having loads of fun, so to speak. Anyway, my waning crush on Kurt had left me in a bit of a randy mood- considering I had been so focused on him that I hadn’t had sex in months. So I hit up a friend of a friend of mine whom I knew to have semi-regular sex parties at their fairly large (and sluttily equipped) home. As luck would have it, they were hosting one that coming Saturday evening as a July 4th “Bang Bash” and yes, I was welcome to “cum”. I received an email with directions and timing and rules (along with their strict no drugs policy). And by the time Saturday rolled around, I was fairly well vibrating I was so damn horny. Not wanting to seem too eager, I waited until 45 minutes after the party start time in order to arrive. I didn’t think I could take arriving early and being scrutinized by other party guests. It would make me even more self-conscious than I already am. When I arrived, I was shown where to put my clothes. As I disrobed, I was informed there were about 50 or so guys already there, the basement was in full swing, and that I should head on down. So I quickly got down to my jock, sneakers, and backward Cubs cap. One final check in the mirror convinced me I looked cute enough for this and I made my way downstairs. My glasses fogged briefly as I entered the humidity from the sweaty bodies. You could smell sex and poppers in the air. The basement area was illuminated by red bulbs, some rainbow LEDs and occasional bursts of laser lighting. House music throbbed to provide an ambient noise level to mask some of the fuck noises and lower inhibitions. It was a very heady combo, I’ll admit. I wandered around as I seem to do at such events, never quite sure of where to look or what to do with my hands. I saw several guys standing and/or kneeling as blow jobs were underway all over the place. A couple of guys were fucking in a darkened corner—the slap of flesh keeping time with the music. I watched them fuck for a little while. They were oblivious to my presence. As I wandered more I saw guys making out in groups of 3, 4 and more. There were guys on a couch and bent over chairs. It was a smorgasbord of sex. And then I saw him. His profile was unmistakable as he stood in a small knot of guys surrounding a sling. My stomach clenched and I nearly turned around to go back upstairs. But something made me hold my ground. I could tell that there was a guy in the sling, and that he was being fucked. I was hesitant to go watch- even though I wanted to- because of him. Suddenly a small voice inside me said, “Fuck him! You were invited here. It isn’t his party. You have every right to watch too.” So I made my way over to the sling. And thereby to Kurt. I stepped up to the side of the sling across from Kurt, keeping my eyes glued to the guy fucking the hot, furry, muscle cub who was currently getting his ass well and truly used. I had to will myself not to look over at him, but damnit if I wasn’t going to do my best to ignore that fucker the way he’d ignored me. It wasn’t going to be easy though, because in my peripheral vision I could tell Kurt was staring at me. Hard. Muscle cub by this time had found my cock and fished it out of my jock. He was jacking me and I was quickly wickedly hard. I shifted myself up toward his head so he could suck me while he was getting fucked. I shifted my gaze to the muscle cub’s face as he worked my cock. Anything to hold my attention and to keep me from looking at Kurt. Muscle cub was cute. Blonde. Stocky. Shoulders and arms for days. Nice pecs on him. And seeing him in such a vulnerable position on his back with his legs in the stirrups made my loins stir. I didn’t know if I wanted to do him… or be him. Probably a bit of column A and a bit of column B. Again, it was like I entered a sex trance and I was disconnected from my cock and this activity—I was aware of it but it was like I was dissociated from it all. Plus, I mean, again who *was* this guy who was actually participating at an orgy? Normally I couldn’t even get hard if there was more than one other guy in the room as I was too embarrassed and self-conscious. But tonight it was different. Because he was here. Dimly acknowledged in the back of my brain burned this solitary idea. I wanted to strike back at Kurt. I wanted him to see what I was doing. I wanted him to watch me fucking this guy’s mouth. I wanted to show him I could take pleasure without his permission and without even acknowledging him. In a misguided way, I was trying to wound him like he had wounded me at the bar. Although I honestly had no idea why I believed this would even phase him or where this idea had germinated. All I knew was that fucker was going to notice me and remember me this time. The guy fucking the muscle cub came suddenly—and very demonstrably. The cub pulled off my cock to moan in delight and say “Oh fuck yeah! Breed me!” As my eyes swept to the man emptying himself inside the cub, I stumbled. In a weak moment, I glanced over at him- I swear it was involuntary! And just as if he were medusa, my breath caught in my chest and I was immediately petrified under his gaze. He’d buzzed his hair down to fuzz, and his beard was at that heavier than 5 o’clock shadow stage. He was naked except for his harness. And tonight he wore a steel cock ring which matched the PA. This was the first time I’d seen the full expanse of his body, and my god he was beautiful. Like, everything was just perfectly proportioned. Everything except his fairly enormous cock. As we stared at each other? Waves. My god, the pulsing waves of pure, unadulterated sex that bombarded me from this man were unlike anything I’d ever felt! I could feel the thrum in my skin. Again, I blame the stench of man-sex and poppers and the July heat of the room and the music and pheromones. I didn’t even feel the cub’s mouth on my dick anymore (he’d evidently gone back to sucking me at some point- I honestly hadn’t noticed). I was lost in Kurt’s stare which was a grappling hook in my heart. With a small head gesture from him, I pulled my dick from the cub’s mouth and walked down to the now vacant end of the sling. Still locked into his eyes, Kurt reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder and added a slight pressure downward. I knew what he wanted, and even though I’d never rimmed a guy before, I obeyed. I slowly sank down, and started tonguing the cub’s furry pucker. The heat of his butthole and the tang of semen hit my tongue like a one-two punch, and it shocked me. A fuse blew, and I just started to eat his ass with abandon. The cub was moaning and begging for more, and I could feel him pushing out some of the cum for me. Tasting what he’d collected from these other men in this way drove me into a frenzy. In a hazy way, could tell my brain wanted to analyze what the fuck was going on with me, but I was too busy being swept along in the sexual current of the moment. I felt Kurt’s hand under my chin, gently lifting me upward. Again, he didn’t have to tell me what he wanted. I just knew. I absentmindedly reached for a condom, opened it and rolled it on. I spit on my hand and lubed up, although I didn’t need much. The cub was already well lubricated from several others. While continuing to be held by Kurt’s stare, I slid into the cub and started fucking him. Slowly, I let the sling rock back and forth, feeling the cub’s hot, hairy little hole slide up and down my shaft. Through my stare I was trying to telepathically communicate to Kurt that this is what *I* wanted. I wanted to be in the sling, him to be sheathed inside me— my hole working his shaft. Me giving him my body and giving him pleasure, and taking pleasure in return. During the fuck, Kurt moved closer. I felt his thumb and forefinger encircle my cock at the base as I fucked the cub. I was keenly aware that this was the first time he’d touched me, and I shuddered. On the outstroke, I could feel Kurt using his hand to work the condom up my shaft. Then he lined me up and I thrust back in. Then on the outstroke again, Kurt’s hand working the condom up. By the 4th stroke or so, it was just now at my head. He deftly pulled it off. Without missing a beat, he lined me up again and I slid back inside the cub. Kurt was again directing me as he wanted and I was his slave. He then leaned in close to me again and gruffly whispered, “Now breed him. He’s a cumdump and I wanna watch you give him what he wants.” I obeyed. I grabbed the chains of the sling and looked down at the muscle cub I was using as directed. He really was a cute guy, the kind of “aw shucks” guy it looks like you’d want to date and take home to your parents. At least until you found out he was a dirty, fucking slut. Which right now made my dick that much harder. His hole felt like wet silk on my raw dick. As I was building tempo, Kurt moved up to the head of the sling and tucked his prodigious unit in the cub’s mouth. Only about 1/3 of it fit and the cub was gagging on it. Kurt made eye contact with me again and held it as he grabbed the boy’s head and fucked his mouth. I smirked because I could tell that was doing this for me. He *knew* I would like seeing the cub struggle with his meat. He spoke to the cub next, in a deep voice that seemed to cut through the noise in the room. “Beg for his load, slut. I wanna hear you beg for his cum like the filthy cunt you are.” The cub stopped sucking long enough to start up a litany of entreaties for my seed. “Please breed me! Please cum in me! I wanna feel you load me! I need it! Please! No loads refused! I’m a fucking cum whore and I live to be filled! I want your DNA to be part of me! Knock me up, man!” Hearing the hot stud begging for me to cum was the final push to get the load to boil out of my balls. I buried myself in him and let go. Volley after volley of my pent up seed and frustration throbbed into his guts. “Oh fuck! I feel him cumming! I actually FEEL it!! Fuck that’s a lot! Oh FUUUUUCK!” the cub whimpered. And through all of this, my eyes never left Kurt’s. Even though I had just cum so much that it felt like my balls turned inside out, I was still in a sex trance. I was empty, but now I needed to get filled. I pulled out of the cub and made my way over to Kurt. I figured it was going to be now. This was going to happen. Kurt was still rock hard from our scene and I aimed to be on the recipient end of it. As I approached there was a brief look of confusion which flickered across his face. When I was in front of him, I reached out and grabbed his massive tool. He flinched at the contact, and pushed my hand away. Not to be deterred, I dropped to my knees in front of him and moved to take him in my mouth. He instantly jumped back away from me and barked out, “No.” It was like a hypnotist snapped his fingers and I suddenly found myself naked on a stage in front of strangers. One of the party rules was “consent”. If someone said No or wanted to stop- you stopped. That was the rule. And if you didn’t stop, you were asked to leave or escorted out. So there I was, as it were. Just a boy. Kneeling in front of a boy. Asking him to fuck me. And being patently rejected. It was so “mixed message” after everything that had just transpired that I actually started to laugh. I had so many emotions roiling about that I didn’t know what to do or how to react. Seeing how Kurt looked at me, I was instantly filled with hot shame. Which was then rapidly replaced by seething anger. I stood up slowly and gave Kurt my best “what the everloving fuck” look. He just looked back at me with pinched brows and shook his head. So I walked over to the nearest fuck bench, bent over with dramatic flair, and proceeded to make a show of lubing up my ass. And I aimed to get filled one way or another. And if Kurt wouldn’t do it, anyone else would do. Any and all of them. And that fucker was going to watch them do it. One guy immediately walked up and stuffed his dick in my mouth. I asked for some poppers, took a hit, and went to town servicing him. I was on a mission. During this, I felt a couple different guys walk by and caress my ass. One even fingered my hole a little… but then they would walk away. Nobody seemed to want to fuck me. I kept wriggling my ass and trying to tempt guys, all to no avail. Why was nobody fucking me? Even the guy feeding me his cock didn’t cum and he wandered off. I was prepped. I was ready. I had a muscular, round ass from hours of squats and miles of biking. And I was a pretty darn good bottom from what I’d been told. But tonight I was on a fuck bench island—alone. I was starting to feel pretty despondent, when suddenly I feel a guy’s cock start to nudge around my ass. Finally! I hear the lube bottle open and feel him slick up his dick behind me. A lubed digit briefly slipped in my ass to open me up. And just as the head starts to slip inside me, it stops and pulls out. “What’s your deal, man? I was gonna breed that fine little ass!” “It’s off limits for you. Go fuck the cumdump in the sling.” It was Kurt’s voice. Why the fuck was Kurt was cock blocking? This made absolutely no sense. “Fuck you, man. You don’t own this hole. And this little fucker is begging for a load!” said my would be fucker. “Seriously man, just walk away. He doesn’t want your toxic seed.” Toxic seed? Was the guy poz and was he going to fuck me without a condom? I stood up from the bench. “Dude, are you poz and were you going to fuck me without a condom?” I asked the guy. He looked at me with disdain. “Whatever, dude. It’s a bareback sex party.” And he stalked off. Kurt was standing there with his arms folded over his chest. “Are YOU the reason nobody’s been wanting to fuck me? Have you been cock blocking me this entire time??” I asked him incredulously. “I just saved your ass. Literally and figuratively. You’re in a sex haze and not thinking clearly. Did you really want his dirty dick to load you up with poz cum?” Kurt asked flatly. “Well… maybe I DID!” I retorted like a child. Kurt stared me down until I looked away. “I didn’t think so,” he answered smugly. And this pissed me off. “You know what? I’m out. Thanks for ruining what was turning into a good night. Let’s not keep meeting like this, shall we?” I spat as I walked away from him. I stormed upstairs, got dressed, and left the party. I drove home angry. Hurt. Sad. And … relieved? Relieved that I’d dodged a poz load in my ass all because of Kurt and his apparent conscience. I was more confused than ever about who the fuck this man was. * * I didn’t see Kurt again until the end of summer. And other than occasional angry thoughts about him, I didn’t much think of him during the time after the sex party. The only time he seriously entered my thoughts was during the one hookup I had in the month of August. Looking back, it was painfully obvious I was trying to find a clone of Kurt. The guy was big and dark and muscular—but the connection just wasn’t there. The sex was perfunctory and unfulfilling and left me fantasizing about Kurt while I jacked myself off on the guy. I ate my weight in ice cream afterwards, because feelings. Anyway, I really felt I had turned a corner when Labor Day rolled around. It was time for Tom and Hal’s end of summer pool party. I was in a mood and pretty down on myself, so I almost didn’t go. If Tom wasn’t such a good friend, I’d probably have begged off, coming up with some lame excuse. As it was, I sucked it up, put on the pink speedo that showed off my assets, and headed over. When I arrived, Tom met me at the door- a big shit eating grin on his face. “About time! And man have I got a surprise for you!” and he started singing “Matchmaker” from Fiddler on the Roof. “Oh no. Don’t you remember the last time you tried to set me up? I thought we’d learned our lesson, because *that* went so fucking well,” I admonished. “Look honey. How was I supposed to know he was still married?” he shrugged. “And a sub bottom with a diaper fetish,” I reminded him. “Everyone has little kinks, darling,” he laughed. “Exactly what part of ‘change me! Baby make boom-boom’ did you think I would find endearing?” I asked with a raised eyebrow. Tom waved me off. “This one is different. You are 100% his type, and he is SO yours. I mean, this guy is so EVERYONE’S type. Trust me. This time, this yenta is onto something big. And from what I hear, I do mean BIG!” I sighed and resigned myself to the fact that I had to just go with it. It was just who Tom was. I’d humor him, meet the guy, it wouldn’t work (like all the others because it was seriously like Tom didn’t know me at all or what I liked), and I’d go on my merry way until next time. Tom left me in the kitchen and scurried off to go find Mr. Match, so I made myself a drink. I heard him coming back with someone in tow (Tom was loud) just as I was completing my margarita. I turned around and… yeah. Him. Tom smiles huge and says, “I’d like to introduce you to…” “Kurt,” I finished, my disdain apparent. Tom’s smile falters. “Oh, have you two met?” he enquires. “Oh yeah. On a few separate occasions, isn’t that right Kurt?” Kurt just stood there, looking like he wanted to be anywhere else at the moment. For once he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I took the opportunity to add an extra shot of patron to my marg. “By the way, Tom? You’re wrong about me being his type,” I said in the shittiest voice I could muster. “He actually finds me quite repulsive—that is when he can even be bothered to remember who the fuck I am. So if you’ll excuse me, imma go find your husband and drink. Heavily.” And with that I left them standing in the kitchen. Several drinks and an hour of avoidance later, I was on an air mattress in the pool, trying to relax and soak up the last of the summer sun. I felt the waves gently rock me as someone slid into the pool. A few moments later, a shadow covered me as someone stood next to my float. “Hey,” he said. Because of course it was Kurt. I tilted my head over and opened my eyes. God he was even more beautiful wet. And today he was sporting hair that was a bit longer and just starting to wave a bit, and a full mustache with heavy beard stubble. He was a wet, sexier Tom Selleck. Or Pete Kuzak. It was his best look and it physically hurt me to look at him, so I closed my eyes. “What is it, Kurt?” I sighed. “You’ve successfully managed to suck almost all the joy in my life for the past few months. What are you going to do for an encore? Anally rape my mother while pouring sugar in my gas tank?” He chuckled. “That line is from the movie Clerks. And No. No encore. More like a truce.” I looked at him again. “I was a jerk and I’m sorry,” he said with a shrug. “And I think that for today, on this last day of summer, we should just hang out and… be. Maybe get to know each other in a different space. What do you say?” I thought about it for a good minute. I mean, really thought about it. Do I continue to be butthurt? Or do I just say fuck it and let him off the hook? Even though his eyes held mine again, there wasn’t the heat. Instead they were saying “please”. Which broke me. I relented. “Fetch me another drink, Farm Boy, and we’ll see,” I said. “Fetch it yourself,” he says and then proceeded to dump me off my air mattress into the pool. I sputtered as I came up and he was laughing like a kid and smiling. Smiling AT me. I’d never seen him smile before, not like this. Not directed at me. Being on the receiving end of it was absolutely blinding. Like a million photographer flash bulbs going off. And he had dimples, because of course he did. Fuck me sideways. The next couple of hours in the pool drifted by lazily. We talked about everything and nothing. The Clerks quote had opened things up and we chatted about favorite movies and art and just hung out. Other guys at the party desperately wanted Kurt’s attention, but whenever they would swim up to chat, he would shift over to me. Feeling his bulk casually brush up against my side, or his furry leg touch mine set flame to my skin. One time he even draped his arm across my shoulders possessively and my insides melted. Seriously turned to goo. I slowly reciprocated and put my arm around his expansive back to his waist. This time he didn’t smack it away. It was the first time I was actually touching him after all these months—the heat of his tan flesh under my hand made my heart stutter. I’d had more than a few cocktails at this point, so I was feeling giddy and buzzy, but in a really warm and delightful way. I was also punch drunk from the attention Kurt was paying me. Feeling cocky, I popped back onto a pool float and lay back with my hands beneath my head. “Push me around the pool,” I jokingly command him. “As you wish,” he replied. Fuck me. He did know the Princess Bride after all. I felt his hand move from the float to my side and I felt sure that I was in for another dunking. If that happened, I’d make him pay. But no. We were in the shallows of the pool and he was gently pushing me around- his large hand on my upper rib cage. Then his hand shifted a bit, and I felt his finger on my nipple. At first it just rested there, but instantly the entire focus of my being was concentrated on that little nub of flesh. Then his finger lightly circled it and brushed it. I shivered, and my cock sprang to life in my speedo. “Looks like someone is having a good time,” said Tom cheekily, and I quickly dumped myself off the mattress and into the cool water. I was immediately self-conscious again of being sexual in public and separated myself to the far side of the pool to get my drink. I hear Kurt haul himself out of the water and excuse himself to the restroom. Meanwhile my mind is racing with a million thoughts. What was happening? Was Kurt flirting? Did he actually want me? Did I WANT him to want me? What would we do? Would we finally have sex? My boner would NOT go down as my mind raced down alley after alley of all the things I wanted to do to Kurt’s body. Eventually I was able to quell my visible desire and decided that I too could use a bathroom break. I figured it was also a good time for a drink refresher too. When I looked for Kurt to see if he wanted something from the bar, he wasn’t around. Meh, I figured I’d just surprise him with something and I headed up to the house. When I opened the bathroom door, I’m the one who got the surprise. Kurt was there, leaning against the sink with his dick halfway down Tom’s throat. I think I said something like, “Oops! Sorry” before stumbling blindly away, tears burning my eyes. It was like my heart had been ripped from my chest and crumpled like a ball of foil. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts. I had to get out of there and away. Just… away. The next thing I remember was sitting in my car and bawling my eyes out. I’d been duped again and let my guard down. I was smarter than this. And How DARE he have this much power over me! But the truth was he did have that power and it sucked. He’d hurt me again. And the really fucked up thing was, I would probably continue to let him because I was just that pathetic. I felt the passenger side open up and someone crawl in. I figured it was Tom, come to apologize. “You know, Tom? Bathroom doors come with locks for a reason. Mainly so your EX-best friend doesn’t stumble in on you sucking off the love of his life,” I said with as much venom as I could muster. “It’s not Tom… it’s me.” Because of course it was him. And suddenly a switch flipped and I was furious. “Get. The fuck. Out of my car,” I said dangerously. “Seriously. Get out. Get OUT! Fuck you, fucking dick! Did you come to gloat? To Rub it in? Fuck you and your mixed messages. Fuck you for messing with me. Is this a fucking game to you? Is this FUN? Tormenting me? Teasing me and then gutting me to the core? Is THAT what gets you off you sadistic FUCK!” “No, this isn’t a game. And this isn’t what gets me off,” he said quietly. “Then what is it? What the FUCK is going on between us? Why would you come at me with your ‘lets just be’ B.S.? Then proceed to tease me all day? You aren’t blind or stupid—you KNOW what you do to me! You KNOW how I feel about you. You toyed with me deliberately only to go off and fuck Tom’s mouth!” “I didn’t do it deliberately, I honestly just wanted to try to befriend you today,” he mumbled. “And I didn’t go off to fuck Tom’s mouth. He busted in on me jacking off in the bathroom and he just dropped and started sucking. I… I wasn’t thinking clearly at that point…I should’ve stopped him, but….” “But?? BUT WHAT?? Any hole will do, is that it? Anyone’s but MINE?” I shot back. “I… I just really needed… I needed to get off, ok?” “You needed to get off. AT the pool party. Because it couldn’t wait until you got home?” I said incredulously. “Seriously. It couldn’t wait?” “No, it couldn’t wait!” Kurt was becoming visibly agitated and upset now. “Why the fuck not? Seriously, who just jacks off randomly at a party?” “I was doing it to protect you!” he said, his voice escalating in volume. “Protecting me? From whom? Tom?? You thought you’d protect me from Tom’s mouth by FUCKING IT?!?” I shouted back. “I WAS PROTECTING YOU FROM ME, GODDAMNIT!” All the air seemed to go out of the car, and Kurt was shaking. My anger dissipated quickly and my intuition was telling me something important was happening. I turned to Kurt and just looked at him— patiently waiting for some sort of explanation. Kurt wouldn’t look back. He just looked at his hands as he gripped the dashboard. He took a deep, shuddering breath and began. “I was protecting you from me. Being near you today? I thought I could handle it. I saw the way you looked at me at the sex party. How hurt you were and it gutted me. I told myself never again. So when you showed up today, I thought to myself, Kurt? Here’s your opportunity. Here’s your chance to make amends and maybe not be such an asshole. I really thought the best protection for you might be if I were a buddy, you know? Just a buddy who could look out for you and protect you. I thought I could handle it. But christ. Being near you today? Seeing your body? Joking around and hearing you laugh? Touching you? It made me fucking crazy- like I wanted to jump right out of my skin. I tried to tamp it down, God I tried. To just be a normal guy and not… not think with my prick. But you look so goddamn much like him and I couldn’t control myself and my dark thoughts started spinning out of control and I had to stop them. Stop myself. So I went to the bathroom to jack off. To relieve the sexual pressure so that I could maybe go back to just being a nice guy and maybe a friend. If I could just cum it might be enough to get through being near you the rest of the afternoon. But I didn’t lock the fucking door and Tom came in and he just… started sucking… and I just really needed the release or else I was going to do something I would regret so I just let him keep sucking even though I should have stopped him. I know I should have stopped him! It wasn’t his mouth I wanted. But when my demons are released it’s like trying to stop a freight train and then you walked in and everything went to fucking hell ….” Kurt still hadn’t looked at me. And he still hadn’t answered the big question. “Kurt,” I said gently. “Why do you feel you need to protect me from yourself? I’m a big boy- maybe not in stature- but I can make my own decisions. I’ve wanted you to fuck me for a long time.” “Oh you can’t say that! PLEASE don’t say that!” he cried. And tears started to flow from his eyes. “Why not? It’s the truth. I want you like I’ve never wanted any other man before. You electrify me in a way that nobody ever has,” I said as I reached out to touch his leg. He flinched and looked up at me, stricken. “Electrify? As in Charge?? HA!” He laughed mirthlessly as his body was wracked with sobs. “I’m HIV positive,” he finally whispered. “But it’s more than that. Much more. I’m sick. Not HIV sick, but sick in my very soul. I have a darkness in me. A twisted desire to infect other guys with HIV. You asked what gets me off? THAT gets me off. The thought of infecting guys makes my dick hard! Christ! I’m getting hard right now just talking about it and I’m fucking bawling while I bare by soul to you! How fucked up is that?” There was a pregnant pause as he took a deep breath. “And how sick is it that I want to infect you so you’ll be mine forever?” It was barely audible, but I heard it. “Kurt…” I started. “His name was Bo. Love of my life. I was fairly newly poz when we met, and he wasn’t. But we were determined to make it work. I loved him and He knew me, REALLY knew me. Knew my darkness. Knew my fetishes and kinks. My demons. And he loved me anyway. He loved me so much that he begged for me to knock him up. To infect him so we would always be together. I railed against the idea for a long time, and we were always so careful. SO careful! I needed him healthy and whole. But he wore me down. He said he was ready. He PROMISED me he was. That he could handle it and he wanted it and he wanted it from ME. He even told me that he would go get pozzed up from someone else, just to be done with it all. So finally I relented. I let the demons out and I did it. I fucking did it. It took on the first try too, because I’m fertile. And I gotta tell you, man was it hot. It was so goddamn hot doing it. I loved every fucking second and being the one to make him poz. Fuck, it blew my mind. When I bred him that night it was like all my love emptied into him too. Only he lied to me. He wasn’t ready for it. His family found out and they disowned him. Some of his friends turned on him and called him a fool for not being safe and stupid for being with me. They abandoned him. His conservative job found out and canned him. He lost health insurance. It was all so messed up. But I thought we were working through it all ok. We had each other and I loved him and that was enough right? But he got depressed. Really depressed. I came home one day… I came home…and… I’m the one who found him.” Kurt had tears just streaming down his face now- cathartically releasing all the pent up emotions that must have been eating away at him. “Bo is dead because of me. The love of my life died because I can’t control my sick desires. I was weak and he is dead. And I vowed never again. Not with someone that I care about. And then you walk into a bar bathroom, the spitting image…” “But Kurt, we can still do stuff. Be intimate. All this doesn’t make me want you less, if anything I want you more now. We can be safe….” I offered. “Safe? With me there IS no ‘safe’. You’ve seen me in action, when I’m amped up. I’m a fucking pig with a big cock and a bigger sex drive. Once the demons are loose, there’s no stopping them. You say “safe” but you don’t understand. You don’t KNOW. I’m telling you even now sitting here, after all this, I still want to infect you. I see you and I am overcome with desire. I want you so badly that I can’t focus. You are so beautiful and sexy and I want nothing more than to tear up that meaty little ass of yours. I want to fuck you so hard you bleed. I want to fuck you until your spine cracks and your spleen is bruised. I want you whimpering as I cum so deep inside that it will never come out. And then I want to do it again and again and again until you convert. Then we’ll be a matched pair and I’ll own you for life. You say ‘safe’. How do you think you’ll be safe with me? I’m way bigger than you. You don’t stand a chance. Don’t ask me to pull out, because I won’t. You think you’ll be safe if I use a condom? Don’t you think that at some point my dark side will win and I’ll sabotage the rubber so my seed leaks into you? Or I sneak it off and stealth you? Or drug you and then rape my poz load into your ass? God, my cock is hard right now just talking about it! With me there IS no such thing as safe, don’t you see? That’s why I’m telling you all this. That’s why I let Tom suck me. That’s why I pushed you away at the sex party. That’s why I pretended not to know you at the bar even though I wanted nothing more than to ditch that other guy and take you back to my place to destroy you. That’s why I sprinted home that first time at the bar. It’s me… protecting you… from me. Before I can’t control myself and it’s too late.” We sat quietly in my car, the only sound an occasional sniffle from him as we sat amid the enormity of everything he just unloaded. My mind was reeling from his revelations and his stark honesty. There was so much conflict going on inside me. My feelings for him. My attraction. His status. His dark fetish. His struggle. But above it all, just being in the car with him had me vibrating. My guts were a knot and… And suddenly, I was calm. In a moment of clarity, I knew what I was going to do. Kurt spoke again, dejectedly. “I know this was… a lot. And I’m sorry. I truly am sorry. Please understand that I think you are so… so beautiful. But you deserved to know. And now maybe you’ll understand I can’t see you again.” His hand moved to the door handle. Before he could make another move, I launched myself at him, grabbed his face, and kissed him. I wish I could say it was one of those beautiful, perfect moviestar kisses—it wasn’t. He’d been crying. I’d been crying. There were residual tears and snot. I came in too hot and our teeth sort of clacked together. It wasn’t pretty. But it was also fucking hot as hell. It started off with me ramming against him and him sort of yelping as I startled him. His body was tensed like a clock spring. I kept our lips pressed together unmoving- waiting to see what he was going to do. Suddenly the fight seemed to go out of him and he relaxed. Then our kiss morphed into a gentle “I see you, Jake Sully” kiss. And then it deepened, and turned more urgent until we were two horny teenagers making out in a car. And I gotta say—the stache and stubble combo? Holy fuck. Feeling his stubble rake across my jaw lit me on fire. Kissing Kurt in this moment was the most intimate, most sexual thing I think I’d ever done with another man in my life. It also felt I was kissing a brewing storm… and I never wanted to stop. As my hands wandered down to his straining groin, he suddenly stopped and pushed me away. “Fuck, this is what I was afraid of! I am barely hanging on, here. We have to stop.” “Have you heard of PReP,” I asked him breathlessly. “Sure,” he nods. “Well, I’m on it. And I triple dog dare you to try to get me pregnant, Kurt.” He closed his eyes then. “Drive,” he commanded as he fastened his seat belt. * * We drove to his condo in a blur. I drove fast, but not so fast as to get a speeding ticket (or DUI). He wanted to fuck me at his place because it was set up with everything that we would need. I honestly don’t remember getting from the parking garage to his unit. Once parked we were on each other again with reckless abandon. We managed to get out of the car, but he pushed me up against it- his hands all over my body. He ended up going down on me as I leaned against the car- my synapses shorting out as I felt his mouth take me inside. Then I tried to return the favor, but the 0 gauge PA kept clattering against my teeth which really bothered me. We stopped so he could unscrew a ball and take it out for me. I sucked his dick briefly in the elevator- I didn’t care if there were security cameras. Let them fucking watch me service this god’s dick! I just needed to feel him in my mouth. His dick is fucking enormous. Two and a half hands worth and my fingers didn’t touch around it. Big fucking head like a pit viper. He probably was going to fuck me in half with it, and I was beyond ready to surrender to it. Eventually we got to his condo and he had me go prep using his shower shot while he got the place ready for me. I did as I was told and made sure to spend a little extra time, as I knew he would be going extra deep. I stepped out of the bathroom into a dimly lit scene. “Come here,” I heard him say in his deep, sex voice. My feet were instantly compelled forward to the bedroom. He had a blood red light bulb in the bedside lamp, to set the mood. He had a sling set up, suspended in one corner from eye bolts in the ceiling. One of the walls had a large mirror there so you would be able to watch yourself during, were you so inclined. And the wall opposite the foot of the king sized bed had a 60” TV mounted on an articulating arm, so porn could be watched at any time. And he had filthy porn playing—lots of biohazard symbols everywhere. As I stepped into his den of iniquity, our eyes met and he said, “Last chance, bud. Or abandon all hope.” I walked up to him, staring deeply into his eyes. I feel that familiar sex trance coming on and this time I welcomed it fully. With that all my inhibitions fell away and I felt free. I knew Kurt wouldn’t judge me and anything was on the table. I chose my next words deliberately. “So, that guy that you were talking with that night at the bar when you pretended not to know me? Did you poz him?” I saw Kurt’s nostrils flare as his eyes glittered in the red light. “Yes. Yes I did.” “Tell me,” I say. “What’s to tell? He was a dumb fucking bug chaser. I found him on BBRT and told him I could help him out. He met me at the bar after work. I brought him here and gave him what he wanted.” “And what he wanted was your toxic seed. Did it take?” I asked. I knew my questions were goading Kurt on and getting his demons going. “Oh yeah. I told you—I’m fertile. He called me two weeks later to tell me he got the fuck flu. He was so happy.” “And was it a good fuck? Did you enjoy breeding him? Did it satisfy you?” I asked. “It was ok. He’d been chasing for awhile but everyone’s pretty well controlled these days so infections are rare. And he really wanted it so it didn’t feel like much of a challenge. It’s sort of hotter when the guy doesn’t want it, or doesn’t know he wants it.” Kurt’s cock was so hard at this. That’s when I noticed he’d changed his PA. The one in now was a curved barbell of sorts, but there were conical spikes screwed onto the ends. Kind of like what you’d see on a dog’s collar. I reached down and fingered it lightly. His cock jumped at my touch. “Is this your weapon of choice for my guts tonight?” I asked. “You triple dog dared me to get you pregnant. I aim to keep my record intact,” he growled. “So, about a month before I ran into you at the bar, Charlie told me he’d seen you with some random guy from out of town and that you’d left with him. You get him pregnant, too?” Kurt chuckled. “You keeping tabs on me?” he asked. “Just some light stalking. You know I’m obsessed with you.” Kurt reaches up and starts lightly stroking my nipples. My nipples are hard wired and with his touch, bolts of electricity coursed through me and made my dick jump. “I honestly don’t know if I got him pregnant or not- it’s definitely possible since I gave him a double dose. I may get a two-fer if his wife pops poz too.” “Fuck, really?” I asked. Even though I had started out as just playing a role to turn Kurt on, hearing him talk this way was getting me very turned on. Was I a secret chaser? Or was I just some sex pig that had finally found someone to help me realize my true self?” “Yeah. The guy was in town on a business trip. Married. To a woman. He was at the bar because he was bi-curious, the stupid fucker. Had cheated on his wife a few times with guys but only bottomed twice before. Such an easy pickup! He took me back to his hotel room so I could be his third time. Man, he was definitely not prepared for my cock. He cried while I fucked him.” “And you got him to risk it and go bareback?” I asked, definitely curious at this point. “Not at first. He insisted on a condom because he was ‘married’. But I deliberately didn’t use enough lube. I wanted to rough him up a bit and also possibly have the condom pop. That happens sometimes due to my size and my… vigor. Whoops.” He grinned and I had to laugh at the way he said it. “Unfortunately, the condom held, but he was really crying and it was tearing up his ass something fierce because fuck he was tight, so I told him it would feel better skin to skin. I had him take a hit of poppers, stripped off the condom, lubed up, and slid right back in. “I stealthed him quick before he came to his senses. And then kept going to make sure I massaged that load into him. As I was working up load 2 he did ask me not to cum in him. I said ‘Why change things now?’ and shot a second load deep. That’s when he kind of freaked out a bit and kicked me out of his hotel room.” “Was this a good fuck?” I asked, as I moved behind him and knelt to tongue his butthole. As soon as I made contact in his furry crack, I went into overdrive. He moaned. “Fuck yeah! There’s nothing better than breeding a married “straight” guy. I love it when the guy struggles to take my cock. I like it when they cry too- feels more like rape, even though they never ask me to stop. And I love sending them on their way with my little gift. Their cheating asses are getting what they deserve. Plus it’s hot thinking that they might pass it on to their wives or to some other guys along their path of sexual discovery.” “I have a question for you,” I say, pausing in my rimming. “At the sex party, why didn’t you just let that guy fuck me and breed me? Maybe I would have popped poz and all this conflict would have gone away.” Then I dove back into his perfect ass. “I thought I already answered that. I needed to be the one to do it so that you’re mine forever. I couldn’t let some other guy have that honor. Not with you. Especially when I could stop it. Do you know how many poz guys I chased away from your hole that night? At least 5. The last guy was definitely toxic, although you would have liked his dick.” I stopped rimming him and stood up. I stood on tip toes and whispered into his ear. “I think it’s time for you to impregnate me. Give me my first dirty dick.” Kurt kissed me fiercely then. It wasn’t like the first one in the car, or even the parking garage—this WAS a Hollywood kiss. Longing and long-denied desire pouring out in a flood between us. I’ve never been kissed like that by anyone before—or since. All I knew was that my mind was fried and I was complete his now and forever and all I could think was “dick dick dick… in in in…. now now now… “. He picked me up deftly, and placed me into the sling. My feet were placed in the stirrups and cinched in snugly. He looked down on me with unbridled lust, and I’m sure I looked back with equal amounts. He bared his teeth and chuckled menacingly. “You stupid fucker. Your ass is mine now. I’m gonna give you my AIDS.” “Stop talking and fucking do it already,” I goaded. He let out a fierce growl and lubed up his dick. Then he lubed up my hole, making sure to roughly finger the lube into me. Then I felt his cock head and the sharp PA resting against my pucker. I sucked in a sharp breath in anticipation. He tossed me some spray poppers and a cloth. “Here, you might want to try these. I’ll do you a solid and wait until you’re flying.” “I want you to know something,” I said as I uncapped the spray can. “I’m not going to be like that businessman. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to beg for you not to cum in me. I’m not as innocent as I seem and I don’t need your mercy. I’m tough. And I’m a greedy fucking bottom who lusts for big cock. I need this. I need YOU. I think I’ve needed you my whole life. And my body is yours to destroy as you see fit.” I hit the spray poppers and soon my head fuzzed and everything got warm and tingly. I felt a sharp pinch as he entered me, and then discomfort as his girth slowly slid inside. I figured Kurt was just going to fucking pound me until I passed out, but no. He slow fucked me. He worked his enormous tool back and forth inside me, stopping when it started nudging my second ring and then sliding languorously back out. A couple times he pulled all the way out with a sharp plop (which I admit stung a bit) before pushing slowly back inside. I’m not gonna lie, what he was doing was feeling fucking incredible. So much cock was in me and I felt so stretched! But there was also the added sensation of the metal dragging in my guts. And then there was his gaze. I could almost taste his lust. “I thought you were going to fuck me,” I growled. “Patience, young padawan,” he said. “I’m just tilling the soil for my seed. There’s a method to my madness, you’ll see. I can’t just ram you with this particular PA in. It’s kind of uncomfortable for me and the cones tend to come loose. One time I lost the whole thing inside a dude’s shitter- now that was interesting breeding session. Also, I’ve been cautioned by the piercer that with my size, this type could get caught deep in your colon and hook us together in a rather compromising position. And that wouldn’t be very much fun now, would it?” I shook my head. “Plus we can’t risk damaging that beautiful baby-maker you got,” I agreed. “You like it?” he says cockily as he flexed it inside me causing me to gasp. “It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever taken and its going to ruin me forever for all other cock,” I told him quite sincerely. “Oh, its’ going to ruin you all right.” He grinned wickedly. He popped out again, and started removing the PA. “You should be good and scraped up now. Plenty of places for my seed to latch,” he said matter of factly. “And now the real fucking begins.” He relubed and I hit the spray poppers again, just in time to get fuzzy before his onslaught. I know everyone is now expecting a merciless rape of the sabine women scene, but it wasn’t like that. He was definitely all about taking his pleasure, but not at the expense of mine. He re-entered me fairly slowly and when his dick came to my second ring, he patiently worked me open until he could get all the way inside. Then he short stroked himself deep in there in order to make sure I was good and open for his dick before he started giving it all to me with force. And for me? Nobody had ever fucked me this deep before. And definitely nobody that I was so in tune with. I literally don’t remember some of the fuck once he got going, because I was riding wave after blissful wave. I was having anal/full body orgasms left and right from the way his cock was hitting inside me. I’m pretty sure I was making loud, guttural noises and probably scaring his neighbors. I honestly don’t know how long he had been fucking me before I regained my voice. 20 minutes? 2 hours? It was all a blur. But he was buried in me and grinding when I decided to ask for more. “Kurt? Will you put in the big PA for me? The 0 gauge that you had in the night we met? I’ve never been fucked by one and I need to feel it.” “You sure? Because it will probably bruise your sigmoid colon a bit,” he said with a touch of concern. “Yeah, I’m sure. I wanna be able to feel you inside me for days after this fuck.” He pulled out slowly and went to his dresser. This was a captive bead PA and he had bought the special tool for popping the ball in and out. With an audible snap, I knew it was in and that I’d soon be feeling it. “This is more than I could have hoped for,” he said during the lull in our fucking. “You’re taking me like a champ, and I’ve already been leaking tons of precum into your cunt. This is the hottest sex I’ve ever had and you’re helping me edge up one massive load. You’re so getting infected. I don’t care if you are on Prep—it’s not going to be able to save you after this.” “Promises, Promises,” I joked. “Now, play with my nipples as you enter me and get ready to see stars.” It took a bit to get the 0 gauge in me, but in me it went. All the way in me. And yeah, I felt it. The heavy weight of it moving inside me as he thrust into me. The pleasure pain as he drove that ring and ball repeatedly into my second ring. He did work my nipples as he fucked me now, and my hole went crazy on his dick. This set up a steady litany of accolades from him, where extolling my virtues as a professional bottom cock pig. I could tell we were nearing the finale at this point, and truthfully I wasn’t exactly sure how much more my guts could take. Poppers were failing to dull the pain he was punching into me now. “Look at me Kurt,” I commanded. And our eyes locked one last time. “I… I’m pretty sure I love you,” I stammered while staring intently at him. “It was love at first sight. From that first moment our eyes met in the bathroom, I knew. I just… knew.” Kurt was fucking me hard now. “It was inevitable. We were always going to end up here, right here. With you trying to knock me up. Because this connection of ours would not be denied.” His hands were fiercely gripping my hips and he was literally throwing my ass onto his dick. His groin slamming into me with abandon with smacks echoing off the concrete walls in his condo. “You know how much I love you, Kurt?” I grunted out between thrusts. “No. Tell me,” he ground out. “You know how I told you I was on PrEP?” I said, through gritted teeth. “I lied.” He came in me then. With a guttural moan that was somewhere between triumph and anguish, he came. Deeply. And hard. He was planted all the way up inside me when he launched volley after volley after volley of his charged semen into me. And I felt it. Not just the throbbing of his cock up inside me where no man had ever been, but I felt his cum. I felt the shots hit inside. The wet heat. All of it. And somewhere during his orgasm I had my own. My own prodigious load shot everywhere. I felt it hit my face, but it painted me from chin to navel. When he finally stopped cumming (like 2 minutes later, his cock still up in my second ring), he looked down at me with something that looked like sadness in his face. “Is it true?” He asked. “Is it true that I love you?” I said, playing dumb. “Absolutely. I’ve been head over heels for you for months. Since I first saw you.” “No, I mean… the PrEP thing. Is it… true?” I looked at him and shrugged. “Yeah, it’s true. I’m not on it. Never was.” Kurt started breathing rapidly and he started to shake a bit. “Oh god. You LIED to me! No no no! Fuck! This is going to be Bo all over again! I can’t handle that. Fuck, what have I done? Oh god, I never should have…” “Hey!” I snapped, and Kurt stopped. “You didn’t do this. I did. I chose. I decided that I wanted you to own me forever, so I let this happen. No. I MADE this happen. And if I had changed my mind, I would have stopped it. It *is* possible to stop Mr. Ferris Buehler, you know.” This elicited a small smile from him. “I’m sorry I lied to you. I won’t do it again. Ever. I promise.” I looked deeply at him so he could see my earnestness. “Ever. And although I look like him, I’m not him. You gotta trust me on this.” He nodded. I was still on my back in the sling and he was still in me at this point, and my load was starting to run everywhere. So, I scooped up what I could from by chest and belly and held it out to him. “If your fertileness is to be believed, this is my last neg load. Take it,” I said. “It’s always the Clark Kent types,” he said with a snort. And without breaking eye contact, he lowered his head to my hand and lapped up my cum. Then he held my hand while he slowly sucked each of my fingers clean. “How’s it taste, big guy?” The corners of his mouth twitched a bit before answering. “Positively delicious.” “OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT!” I guffawed. “What?” he shrugged. “If you can quote cheesy movie lines to me, then I’m gonna make puns so bad they’ll give you AIDS.” And then he smiled at me. And it was blinding. * * After our breeding session, he carefully removed my feet from the stirrups and I wrapped my legs around him tightly. Determined to keep him planted inside me forever. He lifted me out of the sling (with my help) and we maneuvered to his bed. With much shuffling and grunting, we managed to scooch all the way up, until I had a pillow under my head, and he was laying with most of his weight on top of me. We kissed slowly and deeply like this for a long time. As we were resting (he was STILL in me, although my hips were starting to cramp at this point), I started thinking about a positional change. “Hey, when do I get to fuck you?” I asked. “I don’t get fucked, I fuck.” He stated. “Although if I were to get fucked, it would be you. You seem to know what you’re doing.” “And you seemed to enjoy watching me fuck those guys,” I said. “I enjoyed MAKING you fuck those guys. There’s a difference. Although I’m sure they liked it. A hot fucker like you dicking them down? Plus you got a pretty good dick on ya for a little guy. Not as good as mine but….” I smacked him and he playfully said “ow”. He chuckled while I made my hole dance on his dick a few times. I grabbed his face and looked at him. “You know, I think I’ve always been a pig. Or more accurately a pig-in-waiting. I was just so focused on being the good boy that everyone wanted me to be. Always so tentative. Afraid to cut loose. I guess I was in some pretty deep denial. Until you. Then it was all ‘Suuuuper Piiiiig’. I guess that makes you my phone booth.” “What’s a ‘phone booth’?” he asked in mock seriousness. It was right after this that I was brought up short by a sudden and paralyzing thought. Once again, my insecurities were rearing their ugly head, and my mind started running unchecked down dark alleys. “Kurt… if you do manage to seroconvert me, is that it then? Party’s over? You move on to another hole and we just become buddies that wave to each other at the clinic or…” my voice trailed off, suddenly fearful. He looked at me like I was an idiot and shook his head. “God I love pozzing up stupid guys! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!” a said with a fakey, evil laugh. Then his face got serious. “Weren’t you listening, silly? I said I wanted to poz you so that I would own you forever. Forever doesn’t mean for the two weeks of daily breeding until you get the fuck flu.” This time it was my turn to nod that I understood. “Daily breeding, you say?” I said, slowly cocking an eyebrow. “With an ass like yours? At least,” he growled as he snuggled into my neck. “Oh! I just had another thought,” I said cheerfully. “Oh god. Is *this* how it’s going to be with you? You ‘thinking’ all the time, asking dumb questions and interrupting snuggies?” he smirked. “Oh, I think you’ll like this one. So, once I pop poz and before I go on meds, how would you like to watch me knock up some guys? I’m thinking maybe like a nice, dumb 18 year old high school jock. Get him good and pregnant before his college career?” “Am I answering your question?” he asked, as his cock rapidly started swelling in my soon to be destroyed (again) ass. And then we kissed. And five very positive years later, we’re still kissing.

In this case, the D&D stand for Dungeons & Dicks. Or Dice & Dicks. Or maybe even Dicks & Disease. All of them are accurate, but I’m getting ahead of myself here. Being a single, gay nerd in the city but with very few friends, I found myself alone a lot. And lonesome a lot. Not being much of a drinker or a bar person, I was constantly looking for any sort of fun activity where I could find some friends with a common interest. And, admittedly, sometimes just the chance at a decent fuck. Unfortunately, most of the time I just ended up along on my couch, pulling my pud. As I was bored and cruising online one evening, I stumbled upon a profile that piqued my interest. It was a wickedly hot, leather daddy-type— ruggedly handsome, salt and pepper hair, muscular, bearded, furry, dark eyes, and man did he look fine in a harness. His picture made me stop scrolling and open his profile, but it was his interests that really piqued my curiosity. In addition to being a top and into leather, he wrote that he was a dungeon master for a leather D&D group. It was a fun, diverse group of men and they played on Saturday evenings, usually in leather or other gear. It has been awhile since I’d played D&D, but I always really liked it. And I hadn’t had a group game night in so long that the idea really appealed to me. “What have I got to lose?” I asked myself. So I struck up a conversation with him. Me: You have a D&D group? Cool! Are you in a campaign right now, and are you accepting new players? DM: Actually, we are just starting a new campaign, and there is room for one or two more. Are you interested? Me: I’m VERY interested! I’d love the chance to play with you guys. Can you tell me a bit about what all goes on? DM: Well, we typically get together in the early evening on Saturdays. We’ll drink (possibly smoke a little 420), roleplay, and generally have some laughs and a good time. It’s a good excuse to wear some leather and escape into a fantasy realm. Me: All that sounds great- I could really use a fun group to hang with DM: Now, I will say that sometimes our evenings evolve into sex. The campaigns tend to be randy, and as DM I make sure to make the adventures are full of… fun. Besides, we are playing in a leather “dungeon” space and boys will be boys… Me: Is the sex expected or…? DM: Naw. It usually happens at the end of the evenings. You can always just go home at that point if you want. Or just watch. Me: Good to know. Although it’s been so long since I’ve been plowed, I’d probably welcome a host of Orcs to breed me! DM: Really? Do tell…. Me: haha, I don’t know. DM: oh come on. Use your imagination. D&D is all about about fantasy and creativeness Me: You said it was a dungeon, so I guess I sort of picturing being a Paladin and being captured by a roving band of Orcs. They strip me, put me in a sling, and restrain me so they can teach my lawful good ass a lesson. It’s kind of hot to think about a bunch of big-dicked Orcs standing around, egging each other on, and taking turns using the Paladin for their dark enjoyment. By the end, I’m full of Orc seed and have to make a saving-throw vs poison or be turned into a anti-Paladin. DM: hmmm. Now that IS hot. Me: heh, yeah. I guess I have a dark fantasy life. DM: well, I think you are just what our party needs. Can you cum next weekend and do you have any gear? Me: Yeah! I’m free. I’d love to meet the group and have an adventure. And I have a leather harness. And a jock. DM: Wear them. We’re gonna have a lot of fun. Oh! Do you have any dice handy to do a pre-roll for me? Like a 1d20? Me: Um… no. No multi-sided dice here. I think I could find a regular die maybe in my game closet… DM: Go get it. I’ll wait I left to go rummage around in my games. I did manage to find an old Yahtzee game and I grabbed the dice from it and dashed back to my computer. Me: Back. I have the Yahtzee dice. DM: Good. Pick three and roll them for me. And tell me what numbers you get. I did as I was told. Since I wasn’t exactly sure what I was rolling for, I wasn’t sure if a high number or low number was better. Normally you want the highest number possible (like for hit points or saving throws). These dice weren’t necessarily kind. Me: I got a 1, a 2 and a 4. DM: Excellent. Thank you. Me: what was I rolling for? DM: Don’t you worry about that. It was just a pre-roll to help me with some character creation stuff for the campaign. Now, next Saturday show up at 6 pm so that we can generate your character and get you ready to play, ok? Oh, and be sure to cum “prepared” just in case. You might meet a guy or two and really hit it off. Who knows? They’re a good group I agreed and told him I’d see him the following Saturday. I gotta say, the next week passed exceedingly slowly. My mind kept drifting to my impending D&D party and I was getting excited. Not only was I getting the chance to meet some guys for fun gaming, but maybe I’d meet some guys for other fun too! Lord knows I could use it! And if not, just getting the fuck out of my apartment would be a blessing. I did jack off thinking of the possibilities of maybe meeting a guy and being bent over in the dungeon, but I stopped mid-week in order to put myself in a randier frame of mind. Saturday finally rolled around (pun intended) and I was almost jumping out of my skin I was so excited. I was also more than a bit nervous. After all, I was walking into a group situation where I was the new guy. What if I didn’t like it or they didn’t like me? I decided that going one time was an adventure in and of itself, and if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t have to go back. At least it was an opportunity, right? I prepared myself as requested. Man, had it been awhile since I’d been fucked and just douching made me horny! I donned by old Bike jock strap and leather bulldog harness and I drove to the address provided. I parked and walked to the front door, butterflies in my stomach. There was a note on the door with my name on it. I opened it and it said, “Welcum and well met, friend. Adventure (and desire?) await beyond this portal. If you are strong of will and pure of heart, enter. Follow the signs to the dungeon where your mettle will be tested.” The gothic script was a nice touch, as was the note. It set a good tone and I was excited for the night to begin. So I turned the doorknob and entered. The house was dimmed upstairs, but there was enough light to see by. I followed the signs through the living room to the basement stairway. There was some low, atmospheric music playing. It was akin to the soundtracks that some folk have at Halloween parties. As I headed down the stairs to the “dungeon” I took note of the sign on the sloped riser “Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here.” Again, nice touch. At the bottom of the stairs the dungeon was dark, lit with some fake candles for atmosphere, and a red bulb. There were also black curtains up to make a small ante-chamber of sorts. At the back of this area sat Daddy DM behind a desk. He had on an ornate, leather, demon half-mask with curved horns. He was also wearing a harness and leather wrist cuffs, and a leather arm band on the left. On the desk was a set of ornate D&D dice. The were obsidian with gold numbers and they glittered in the half-light. I also had the distinct impression that we weren’t alone in the dungeon. Like, I could sense that there were other people lurking behind the black curtains, even if I wasn’t sure. My skin just crawled with that feeling. “Welcome,” he said. I am your Dungeon Master. You may address me as such or as ‘Master’ for the remainder of the evening. Is that clear?” “Yes Dungeon Master,” I said in a hushed voice. “We’re very glad to have you as part of this campaign. First, I will give you a safe ‘phrase’ for the evening. This is a precaution and for you to use as you will, although I hope you will enjoy yourself so as not to avail yourself of it. Your safe phrase is ‘holy avenger’. Do you understand?” Again I replied, “Yes, Dungeon Master.” Although my mind was starting to spin a bit trying to figure out why I might need a safe phrase. Like, how far did this fantasy role playing go? I didn’t want guys to start smacking me with fake swords and stuff. “Come forward. It’s time to create your character.” He produced a character sheet from a desk drawer and a heavy, ornate fountain pen. “You are to be a Paladin. After all, it is the first character that came to your mind when we chatted, and our campaign has never had one. Our character profile tends to skew much darker than Lawful Good,” he grinned. “First, however, what will be your name henceforth?” I had been thinking of names since I had been invited, so I was ready. “Astor. I would like to be known as Astor. Astor the Pure.” The DM looked at me and smirked. “Ass.. tore. How fitting.” This was met with a few hushed snickers from behind the curtain. “And are you pure, as your name states? Meaning in this case, are you HIV negative?” “Yes, Dungeon Master,” I whispered. The DM looked at me as a slow smile spread across his face. “Well then. Well met, Astor... the pure.” The Dungeon Master then had me roll the dice and determine my hit points and various character qualities. Within 10 minutes we had my character fleshed out. The DM took the sheet and pen from me and put them back in the drawer. I was a bit confused by this until he spoke again. “The campaign will begin shortly and you’ll get your character sheet back at that time. But first, Astor the Pure, are you ready to begin your solo adventure?” “Solo adventure, Master?” I inquired hesitantly. “Astor, you have not yet met up with the rest of your adventure party. You must journey to meet them at a distant tavern. Are you ready to begin?” “Yes Dungeon Master”, I nodded. “Roll the d20,” he commanded. I rolled it and watched as the d20 betrayed me. It was a 2. The DM chuckled low and throaty. “A 2. Well, it seems misfortune is following you, Astor. While bathing yourself in the local stream, all of your clothes are stolen. Disrobe now and leave your clothes over there,” he said as he pointed to the foot of the staircase. “Um… do you mean for real or…,” I started to say. The look the DM gave me told me everything I needed to know. I took off all my clothes. His eyes glittered like the obsidian dice on the table. When I got down to a jock and harness I was told I could keep those on along with my boots. “Roll the d20 again,” he commanded. And again the die was not kind. It was a 4. “Oh dear,” he said with a sneer, “You seem to have stumbled upon a roving band of Orcs.” His eyes glinted in the half-light and my stomach clenched. Orcs? No. He wasn’t going down the route of the fantasy I had texted him during our conversation a week ago. I heard shuffling and movement from behind the curtain and I started to shiver. “Roll the d20 again. This is going to determine which die you roll for just how many Orcs you will face. The number on the d20 will be rounded up to the next nearest die type. For instance, if you roll a 3, you will then roll a 1d4. If you roll a 5 or 6, a 1d6. 7-8, a 1d8, etc. May the fates be kind.” I hesitated. The d20 had been rolling low for me, so perhaps it was a loaded die? Did I really want to go through with this? I had a safe phrase. I could opt out. I was shaking I was so nervous, but it was also that nervous shiver from excitement. I could still back out later if things went off the rails. So I picked up the die and rolled…. I got an 11. “An 11. That means you’ll be rolling the 1d12 to determine the size of the Orc band. And may the odds be ever in your favor,” he snorted. This entire time I heard movement and low murmurs from behind the curtain. There were definitely a few men back there, how many I could not tell. The got quiet as I picked up the 12 sided die to roll for how many marauders I would face. I rolled. A 12. Fuck. “Astor the Pure. On your journey to the tavern to meet up with your band of adventurers, you were set upon by 12 Orcs. Although you struggled valiantly, one Paladin was no match for 12 Orcs. 12 Orcs that had been without companionship for months while on the road.” The DM swept the dice off the desk, put them into a velvet bag and placed them in the desk drawer. He then stood up and with a gesture directed me to enter the curtained area behind the desk. I obeyed. As soon as the curtain swept closed behind me, I was actually set upon by what I assumed to be the “orcs”. It was really dark and I couldn’t see much yet. The orcs were rough as they subdued me. One orc held me in a headlock from behind, fully pressed up against me. I felt his hard cock nosing into the cleft of my ass. At least two other orcs grabbed my arms. One roughly grabbed my cock through my jock strap. My mind was reeling and I was having trouble forming coherent thoughts. Was this really happening? Was I about to be fucked by 12 guys?? Am I up for this? Do I even WANT this to happen? I was very conflicted but was also very turned on. A brief mouth on my cock sort of pushed me over the edge and I relaxed into the situation. A moan escaped my lips. The orcs then walked me forward to the glow in the dungeon, the one behind me keeping me in a headlock. As my eyes adjusted I could see they were leading me to a sling. There was a dim red light above and some fake red candles in the sling alcove, all giving the area a hellish cast. When we got to the sling area, my captors released me and turned me around. That’s when I saw their faces (and bodies) for the first time. There were 5 Orcs there, and each had on an identical grimacing leather “orc” mask. Their faces were totally obscured. They even had eye black around their eyes to add a dark touch. Each orc was also dressed in various leather gear. It did not escape my attention that each Orc was also fully erect and impressively endowed. My eyes passed over each of them in turn. One orc appeared to be a younger, twink type. Bulldog harness and nothing else. Tight, hairless body, with a good 7 inches on him. His cock was curving up toward his navel, and his balls were tight to his body. He licked his lips. The second Orc (we’ll call him uncut Orc) was a stocky, Hispanic guy. Old school harness that had a strap down to a cock ring. Thick chest and arms, with leather/metal bicep cuffs. His cock was a fat, uncut, hefty piece of meat jutting straight out from his body. Maybe 6.5”, but wide, especially in the middle. There was already a glistening strand of precum drooling from his foreskin covered head. The third one was obviously an older man- perhaps late 60’s or more? It was hard to tell, not being able to see his face, but he sort of had that skinny, grandpa physique. No harness, but he had on chaps. And Jesus fucking Christ. One of the biggest dicks I’d ever seen on a human. Had to be 10 inches at least. Straight as an arrow. And meaty thick. Not maybe as thick as the Hispanic Orc, but definitely a fucktube of epic proportions. And a set of ridiculous low hangers on him too. My hole puckered tightly just seeing him. The fourth Orc was a goddamn muscle god. One of those model-proportioned physiques that you see in porn or in fitness mags. He had on these crotchless neoprene shorts and sort of leather suspender things. He had to have at least 7.5” or more of dick sticking out below his perfect six pack, but it was hard to tell from the wicked left curve of the shaft. I’m pretty sure he’s been the one holding me from behind. The last Orc was a Black guy. Bulldog harness and a black jock that was pulled aside to reveal a beautiful piece of meat arcing out and down away from his slight Dad bod gut. My guess was 8.5 to 9” of shiny, ebony cock. Muscle Orc spoke first in a rough voice. “Get in the sling, Paladin. We need release, and you are going to provide it. DO IT!” I hopped up into the sling and scooted my body until I was comfortable. The Orcs set to securing me—they put my booted feet in the stirrups and cinched them tight around my ankles. My wrists were also secured with cuffs tied together in front of me. I wasn’t going anywhere. Hispanic Orc stepped up to the head of the sling and commanded me to suck him. “Open that mouth, Astor, and get to work pleasing me.” I turned my head so he had easier access to my mouth. I opened up and he grabbed my head and pushed his cock roughly inside. I could taste his precum as his silken foreskin became my tongue’s plaything. “Who’s going first?” I heard one of the others ask. “Let me go first, guys,” another said. “I’m not gonna last long and I’ll get him all lubed up for the rest of you.” At this point I came back to myself a bit and broke off sucking the Hispanic orc. “Um, guys? What about protection?” I asked. They all laughed. Black orc said harshly, “Orcs don’t use sheep skin sheathes… we use Paladin intestines.” The others laughed again. “Dungeon Master?” I cried out plaintively. His voice floated to me from the dark recesses of the dungeon. “You have your safe phrase. You have the ability to end the adventure any time you so choose. The others will abide. However, it was you who fantasized about being full of dirty orc seed.” Again, my mind was spinning. What do I do? Do I let these strangers fuck me without condoms? Were they going to cum in me? I mean, obviously that’s exactly what they planned to do. But I was negative and mostly played safe. I was fraught with conflicting emotions. Fear. Excitement. Nervousness. Desire. Shame. In the pause where my mind was racing, Hispanic orc set about fucking my mouth again. Cradling my head with one hand as he slowly pistoned back and forth. During this, I suddenly felt a hand fumbling with my cock to remove it from my jock, and then a warm, wet presence enveloped me. One of them was sucking my dick and suddenly desire moved to the forefront. Dark, twisted, wicked desire. My fear melted and I knew I was going to get them fuck me however they wanted to fuck me. The moan that escaped my mouth was enough acquiescence for the Orcs. While sucking and being sucked, I was suddenly invaded by a slickened finger. They were lubing me up for the onslaught to come. First one finger, then two. More lube. More fingers. I noted that the fingers were kind of rough and scratchy while lubing me up. I hoped the fucks would go smoother. “That pure hole should be good n prepped now,” I heard one of them say. “Have at him, boy. Fill him with your special orc lube.” I pulled off sucking again just long enough to say, “Dungeon Master, sir? May I please have some poppers?” “Provide him with the ‘Potion of Liberation’,” I heard the DM say. And a bottle of poppers was placed in my tethered hands. I fumbled with the cap and unscrewed the lid. I heard the “pffft” and knew it was a fresh bottle. I managed to bring my bound hands to my face, closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. As the euphoria was setting in, I felt the first cock head push against my hole. I opened my eyes and looked forward to see who was fucking me first. It was the twink Orc. Thankfully he was working in slowly as my pucker relaxed under the influence of the provided potion. He was using his hips in time with the sling to slowly move his cock back and forth into my ass. Each thrust went just a fraction deeper. And deeper. And deeper until his pelvis was resting against my ass. “His ass is like a wet furnace, y’all!” the twink orc said. And then he started fucking. At first I was having trouble relaxing so his curved 7” was uncomfortable inside me, but slowly I gave into the feeling and my hole relaxed. Plus seeing this lithe, tight bodies boy fucking me with a ghoulish mask on was tapping into some dark fantasies that were really tripping my trigger. Around us the other Orcs were watching. The Hispanic orc was jacking his uncut meat slowly by my face. Grandpa orc and Black orc were flanking the twink as he fucked me. Muscle Orc walked up to the other side of the sling and reached out to start pawing at my chest. His hands found my nipples and he started tweaking them lightly. “Oh JESUS YES!” I shouted as he had found my on switches. My nips had always been wired directly to my hole. Touching them makes me go into overdrive and also makes me go into bottom dick pig mode. “Fuck man, whatever you’re doing to him-- don’t stop!” said the Twink Orc. “His hole is power gripping my tool—I’m gonna lose it soon!” The twink Orc sped up his tempo and the sling chains were rattling as he pounded into my ass. He started grunting with each thrust, getting louder and louder. Then he rammed in hard and cried out. I could feel his young cock spasming in my guts. Seven, eight, nine, ten pulses… and more. I could honestly feel the jets of load striking my ass walls, filling me up with his seed. “Christ that was hot,” he said as he pulled out. “Next!” He and Hispanic Orc traded places. I heard him lube up, and then the pressure of that fat cock entering me. While the twink had definitely lubed me up and gotten me into fuck mode, I wasn’t quite ready for the thickness pushing past my ring. “More poppers,” I mumbled as I struggled with the bottle again. Once I got that popper high going, my hole relaxed and that uncut cock started sliding in and out with a regular rhythm. Twink Orc pulled my head to his cock “Suck me clean, Paladin,” he commanded. I obeyed. Muscle orc started in on my nips again and I was moaning with a mouthful of spent, slimy cock. I felt a mouth on my dick again, and my synapses started to short circuit. The pleasure was crazy intense. I was almost on the verge of cumming and I knew that would be a mistake at this point, so I pulled off the twink cock and said, “Please- no more playing with my dick. I’m too close.” The mouth action stopped immediately. “We wouldn’t want to kill your insatiable bottom mood, would we?” said Grandpa orc, as he had been the one sucking me off. “I’m close,” Hispanic orc said suddenly. A few pumps later and I could tell he was cumming inside me. He never stopped fucking though, just kept that same steady tempo as his Orc babies oozed out inside my ass. He eventually did a slow pull out of my ass, and I could feel semen trickle out of my hole. I was taking raw cock and letting masked strangers cum in my ass… and I was fucking turned up to eleven by it. “I think it’s about time we ruined Astor the Pure, what do you think?” said Grandpa Orc as he stepped up to the plate. Oh shit, I thought. His dick was mammoth, and it fucking scared me. I’d never come anywhere near taking a cock that big. Ever. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to. Part of me was excited by the prospect, but most of me was steeling myself to disappoint everyone by using my safe phrase. I felt Grandpa Orc’s cockhead push against my ring and I locked eyes with him. “Hold on while I hit the poppers again,” I pleaded. He paused with his head at my hole, his hands gripping the sling chains. I inhaled deeply and multiple times. As the potion took hold, I closed my eyes and said, “Please… go slow.” To his credit, he did. At first. He popped his head past my sphincter and slowly inched forward into me. It was the longest instroke I had ever experienced in my life. It just kept going and going. Eventually it hit a point inside me where it stopped. “Are you all the way in?” I asked hopefully. He laughed. “Nope. I still have about two inches left. We gotta open up that second ring tho.” So he started to slowly rock back and forth, his head pushing on that area so deep in my guts where nothing had ever gone before. It hurt, but in this pleasure-ache way that was completely foreign and new to me. I took another hit of poppers while he did this and that seemed to do the trick. Suddenly, there was a shift deep in my guts and he slid the rest of the way in. And I swear I saw heaven. I gasped and cried out as he hilted himself all the way inside me. “There it is!” chucked Black Orc while Muscle Orc said, “He’s never gonna be the same now. He’s just been introduced to the +5 Holy Dick of Destruction!” They all laughed as Grandpa Orc set about fucking me. He ground his hips into me and worked his cock around inside. He then did some short stroking with his cock buried in me, and I think I started speaking in tongues. The pleasure was incredible. Eventually Grandpa Orc pulled out most of the way and then slid back in to the hilt. Ad he did it again. And again. And again. And then he started to pick up tempo— and my hole was in fuck heaven with the seeming miles of cockflesh that was stroking in and out of me. During this fuck, Muscle Orc found my nips again and I went berserk. I was now shouting and entreating Grandpa Orc to fuck the hell out of me. To fucking use me and not to stop. I was also getting close to orgasming. The deep gut stroke of his dick and the nip work and the scene was just fucking too much. “Jesus Christ! I’m about to cum!” I shouted. “You are fucking my load out of me! I’m going to cum hand’s free! FUCK! DON’T STOP!” With a strangled cry I started launching volley after volley of jizz all over my chest. This triggered Grandpa Orc and he buried into me and launched his nut deeper than any cum had ever been inside me before. My ass clamped down on him so hard as I was cumming I think I was trying to keep him inside me forever. “He ain’t pure no more,” Grandpa Orc said. “That dirty orc seed was planted up by his spleen!” I was coming down off the most intense orgasm of my life, and his comment faintly registered in my brain. What did he mean by dirty orc seed? I hope he wasn’t HIV positive or anything. But I’m sure the DM would know and not have poz guys here- especially when condoms weren’t being used. The thought was quickly banished as that massive cock slowly started slithering out of my ass. Normally I can’t get fucked after I cum, my ass switching to “exit only” mode. But being trussed up in a sling, I didn’t have the chance to object. “I’ll go next,” Muscle Orc said. “I like a sloppy, worn out cunt.” His curved meat was at my hole and he was pushing in with little fanfare. He fucked exactly how his body would suggest he fucked. It was all about him. I wanted to do poppers, but he didn’t stop fucking me long enough so I could take a hit. When I asked him if I could he said No. I was uncomfortable and not enjoying it much because I’d just cum, but he didn’t care. He pistoned into me, slamming my ass with his meat. Smacking his pelvis into my ass hard. Pulling the sling back into him and impaling me on his cock. Thankfully, Black Orc took mercy on me and he started to lightly brush my nips. This got me going again, albeit slowly. Eventually however, with the help of the nipple work, I was back into fuckhole mode and begging for Muscle Orc to breed me. The other guys who had kind of disappeared into the dark started filtering back to the sling now. They were watching this hot muscle stud use me. “AWWW FUCK, I’M CUMMING! AWWW SHIT YEAH! FUUUUUUUUUCK YOU!” he shouted as he unloaded into my guts. I could feel him cumming, just like the twink orc. I gotta admit—feeling a cock spit it’s load inside of my ass was becoming an incredible turn on. Muscle Orc yanked out of my hole as soon as his orgasm ended, sending a spray of cum spattering all over the cement floor. He then smacked my ass and headed off into the dark area of the dungeon. Black Orc was next. Now he also had a massive cock, and I was a bit worried on how my ass would take it after the beating it had already taken. “Hit the poppers, bud. You’re gonna need ‘em,” he said in a low voice. “Shit, this is gonna be good,” said Twink Orc as he came up to stand near my head. I hit the poppers hard. They had barely taken affect when he shoved into me. And I mean, shoved. All at once. To the hilt. It hurt like a motherfucker! I screamed out in pain as his dick impaled me. He was long like Grandpa Orc, but not quite as long. So his dick wasn’t going all the way up in my second ring. His massive head was just pounding the hell out of it and pushing just barely in. The pleasure-pain was excruciating. He didn’t always drill that deep, but he fucked the snot out of my ass. The sling chains were bouncing with every thrust, and I was whimpering and keening as his dick was wrecking my guts. Occasionally he would ram all the way home and I’d cry out in pain. “Holy…. Holy…. HOLY….” I managed to say as he pounded into my guts as my insides spasmed in pain. Twink Orc was rock hard and jacking by my face while watching the show. I just had to say “Avenger” and the pain would stop. It would all stop. And I wanted it to… but I also kind of didn’t want it to. “AWW SHIT I’M ABOUT TO NUT!” he shouts and I say a silent prayer. One last time he rams in deep and I cry out in pain. I can feel his massive head throbbing deep inside me as he unloads. “Oh FUCK!” Says Twink Orc, as he grabs my head and pushes his cock into my mouth. I’m dimly aware that each orifice is being flooded with semen. The twink’s dick is jumping in my mouth and the jets of sperm are hitting the back of my throat making me gag. But he keeps a firm grip on my head until he’s done. Then they both pull out at the same time. I feel tears roll down the sides of my face. Tears of relief. It’s over, I think… until I have a sudden, gut-wrenching realization. 12 Orcs were supposed to fuck me—and this was just five…. My spirit broke a little at that point. I was left in the sling for a few minutes while they regrouped. I could hear low voices off in the dungeon, as they chatted with the Dungeon Master. Suffice it to say, each orc took another turn on me. Evidently they’d all done the Elixir of Perpetual Arousal (Viagra) earlier, as they were all ready to go again. My ass was so sore and my insides so bruised that the next five fucks passed in kind of a fever dream. I’m pretty sure I dissociated during it, and went into a fugue state. The fucks were just something that I was dimly aware was happening. Well, until Grandpa Orc fucked me again. That was incredible, although a bit more painful as Black Orc had pummeled the hell out of my second ring. I don’t think I was conscious for his second ravaging. I finally sort of came back to myself and took note that I was now lying on a low, single bed, the dim red light of the dungeon still glowing around me. How I got out of the sling, I honestly don’t recall. I just knew that I was alone, on a bed, still in the dungeon. “And how is Astor the Impure feeling?” I heard the Dungeon Master ask from somewhere behind my head. “Sore,” I mumbled. “And tired. And more than a bit grateful that it’s all over, Dungeon Master.” “Oh, your adventure isn’t over yet, Astor. You see, I haven’t had my turn yet. The Orcs each took two turns on you—well, Bobby took three technically, as he used your mouth for one of his loads. Damn, that kid can shoot, huh? Anyway, that was 11 turns. The die spoke and chose 12. So that leaves me.” As he said this, he walked around the bed to face me. He was still wearing his horned mask and harness, but now he was naked. He really did have an impressive physique. Muscular but not overdone. Furry chest and belly. Salt and pepper in his beard. And jutting out proudly from his groin was a beercan of a cock. Truly it looked like a can of beer with a cock head on it. It was maybe 7” at a stretch, but it was at least that in circumference, or more. And he was uncut, the skin partially covering his cock head. And there was a glistening drop of precum at his piss slit. A smile played across the Dungeon Master’s face. “I see you staring at my cock, Astor. Don’t worry, I’m not like the others. I’m not going to hurt you with it. No, I’m going to make you beg for me to fuck you. But I do enjoy letting the boys go first. It makes entry… less challenging. Besides, I do love fucking a cum-filled hole.” I groaned at the prospect of what was coming. I honestly didn’t think my ass could take anymore. It was intensely sore and I had a dull ache radiating waves inside me—somewhere below my belly button, but deep. I briefly remembered that I had a safe phrase that I could utter, but I had temporarily forgotten what it was. “Turn over, Astor. Get on all fours at the edge of the bed. If you please.” Slowly, I did as I was commanded. Fear was gnawing at my stomach. But as I was kneeling, the fuck didn’t come. Instead, a soft touch started caressing my back. It wasn’t flesh to flesh, it felt… furry. I could tell it was the Dungeon Master rubbing my back with something. Later I learned that it was a mink glove. All I know is that after being ravaged by the Orcs, this felt amazing. The smooth, cool petting was making the skin on my back come alive. I shivered. He started running the glove over my ass. My legs. My balls. As he was doing this, I felt a warm, wet presence at my asshole. I tensed up, but soon realized that it was his tongue. He was licking and probing my hole with his broad, flat tongue. Lapping at it while simultaneously rubbing me with the fur glove. My spent, sore body was starting to awaken, and I felt my cock hardening. My arousal was slowly rekindling under his ministrations, the fear in my gut slowing transforming to desire. Eventually I gave my mind and body over to what Master was doing and just let myself simply exist in the moment. It was liberating. He could tell by how my body was reacting that I was getting there. The mink glove slowly worked back up to my shoulder area. His tongue left my ass crack, to eventually be replaced by the broad head of his cock. He wasn’t pushing into me, it merely was resting there. Nudging around. Teasing. The glove worked around to my nipples, and when the mink made contact my body lit on fire. I started to have involuntary shivers and spasms, my back began to arch, and my ass to hump back into Master. “You really do have sensitive nipples, don’t you Astor?” I could hear the rough arousal in his voice. He kept teasing me with the glove. “Sir… Oh fuck! Oh yes! You have no idea Master… oh shit. Jesus!” “Get on your back, Astor.” I flipped over, hungrily. The Dungeon Master slowly crept up onto the bed with me. He took off the glove and put it aside. I think he saw me pouting a bit at that, and he chuckled. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m just going to work your nipples with other things now. It’s a bitch to get cum and lube out of mink.” Without breaking eye contact with me, his mouth slow descended to my throbbing erection. Feeling the wet heat of his mouth on my dick, coupled with the demonic mask was sending my desire skyrocketing. It was so hot watching him slowly work my cock with his bearded mouth. I was shivering once again and my breathing was shallow. From there, he methodically worked his mouth up my stomach to my chest, eventually finding my nipples. Feeling his mouth on my nipples, his tongue flicking up and down, his teeth lightly nibbling and teasing the pebbled flesh created a sexual urgency in me that I had rarely experienced. I needed him to fuck me. I needed his cock inside me. I NEEDED. “Please… oh dear god… PLEASE fuck me Dungeon Master SIR! Can’t…. take… much… more…” I croaked. “Need…. Cock… in… me.” He abruptly pulled off my nipple and his mouth found mine. And hoh. Lee. Fuck! What a fantastic kisser! You know how sometimes kissing just is awkward and does nothing for you and it’s like your mouths are fighting? But then other times you kiss a guy and everything just fucking works and you can’t get enough and their lips are soft and the beard rough and it’s like electricity? Yeah, it was the second one. In spades. I was literally seeing fireworks behind my eyes as his body pressed into mine as we made out like horny teenagers. When we finally broke the kiss, I couldn’t take any more. “Fuck me. NOW.” I commanded. I didn’t even bother with calling him Dungeon Master or anything. I was a full, free, active participant at this point and I was going to bottom him so hard. He grabbed the lube and greased his prodigious cock. I asked for a little and fingered some into my well-worn asshole. I lifted my legs to give him access, and he hooked his muscular arms in the crooks of my knees. He lined up his cock, and slowly started to push inside me as his glittering eyes held mine. Fuck, it was like being split open again, but I didn’t care. It burned like a motherfucker and I knew my asshole was probably tearing a bit. But fuck it. I needed him in me like I’d never needed anything before. Thankfully, he took his time- doing small back and forth movements to slowly work my hole open. I was doing my best breathing exercises to relax my hole and take it, seeing as how I didn’t have any poppers handy. I stared into his eyes and locked my hands behind his neck as he opened me up around his cuntwrecker. When he finally bottomed out, I pulled him into a deep kiss. I was in blissful heaven as I was full beyond measure with cock. With HIS cock. And his mouth on mine was bellows to my inner fire. I could feel him slowly start to fuck me as my hole yielded to him completely. He sighed into my mouth. I don’t know how long we fucked, I really don’t. 10 minutes? 2 hours? I completely lost all sense of time drowning in wave after wave of pleasure. Mind, body, and spiritual pleasure. He was soul fucking me and I finally grasped what that meant. Toward the end I was holding my feet and pulling my legs wide for him and begging him to breed me. He was fucking me hard, his left hand holding me down at the base of my throat, the right flicking my left nipple. The extra nipple attention pushed me right over the edge. I started spraying my load everywhere. It felt like I was emptying out a year’s worth of semen all the way from my toes. I just kept coming and coming, gobbets spewing everywhere. As I looked up at my Master, I saw his head tilt back and he roared as he unleashed volley after volley after volley of hot seed deep into me. I could feel the wet heat of him sere my insides. It truly felt like a demon was cumming the very fires of hell into me. After our collective spasming subsided, he collapsed on top of me in a sweaty, sticky heap. We kissed more in our post-orgasmic haze- slowly, deeply and languidly, eventually drifting off to sleep. I awoke sometime later, completely discombobulated. Dungeon Master stirred beside me. “Um, I should probably go home now sir.” I whispered. “That’s your choice, Astor. Did you have a good adventure at least?” “Honestly? The guys taking turns on me was fun at first, but it kind of got to be a bit much. And I can’t believe it was all bareback sex and they came in me. I normally only let guys I’m dating do that. But the sex with you? Wow. Fucking WOW. So I would do it all again, if it meant getting to right here.” “I’m glad to hear that, and I really enjoyed fucking you. I haven’t been that connected with a guy in quite some time. I look forward to doing it again,” he said and I could hear the smile in his voice. “I also don’t mind sharing you with the others. You are a full member of our campaign, now. We’ll actually have D&D nights—sex totally optional. It won’t be like it was tonight; unless you want it to be.” “I’m honestly not sure I could take another session like that one,” I said. “But I think I wouldn’t mind having grandpa Orc fuck me again. That dick hit places I didn’t even know existed in me.” He laughed. “That’s Roger. And yeah, it’s pretty amazing. He actually left his card and number for you. I think your ass charmed him. As did your no-handed orgasm.” As I was getting dressed to leave, a niggling thought had finally worked it’s way through my brain to my mouth. “Um, Dungeon Master? Nobody used a condom tonight… so, everyone is, um negative… right? I mean, they wouldn’t have cum in me if they were positive… right?” He walked me up the stairs and to the front door. “Oh Astor,” he said shaking his head. “Remember when I asked you to roll dice during our initial chat? That was to determine what type of guys would be fucking you tonight.” “And I rolled a 7,” I stated flatly. This was a low number. Icy fear gripped the pit of my stomach. “Yes. You did. And your dice chose your path. Remember, we did give you a safe phrase so that you could have stopped the adventure at any point, but you didn’t. And if you search your soul, I think you’ll discover why you didn’t. I was stunned and starting to panic a bit. I found myself out on the porch as he was slowly closing the door. “Until we meet again, Astor. Oh, and when you get home, you may want to make a saving throw versus poison.”

Personally I love that people are highlighting the hypocrisy with their own comments. Chasing an incurable virus is somehow “hot” but when you turn the narrative to the current viral outbreak, suddenly that’s too far. this is Precisely why I wrote this fictional story.

Bug chasing has lost most of its allure lately, am I right? I mean, the meds are good, everyone’s vital loads are well controlled, and so many guys are on prep that getting raw fucked by a poz top doesn’t have that thrill. That risk factor anymore. Which got me thinking the other night. With the current state of affairs and all the cries for social distancing, this led my mind down a dark path. I started wondering if I could maybe chase getting the corona virus? This got my butthole seriously twitching. So I wrote a Doublelist ad entitled Covid Chasing. Here’s what it said: “Handsome, fit bottom here looking for some risky behavior. Social distancing has me horny as hell! I’m looking for a hung BB top who might have been traveling recently and is now experiencing a cough or more. Before we’re quarantined, come and get some relief.” To make things easier, I buried my cell digits in the ad to elicit a faster response. Honestly, I wasn’t sure this would even work, but just posting the bad gave me that knitted feeling in my guts— like I was being naughty and careless. Such a turn on! I got a response the same evening, faster than I had anticipated. He texted me: Him: hey, saw your DL ad Me: Yeah? What’s up? Him: I think I’ve got what you’re looking for Me: really?? Tell me Him: I’m a flight attendant and I was working the Rome flights Was sent home cuz I’m not feeling well and I now have a cough Me: you feeling up for some ass? How Big’s your cock? Any pics? him: I’m 8.5 and thick I get a LOT of ass, but none recently so I have a weeks worth built up He did send a picture along and true to his word he had a thick, uncut beauty of a dick. So I gave him my address and buzzer code. He said he’d be over in about 30 minutes. And now my stomach was full of butterflies. It reminded me how I felt when I agreed to take my first poz guy bareback. All the danger, all the uncertainty and second guessing. All the dark excitement. I got my ass ready for him, and right on cue he was buzzing to be let in. This was my last chance to stop my actions and lower my risk. Was I really going to let a guy exhibiting Covid-19 symptoms breed me? My heart was racing and my mind reeling. I buzzed him up. When I opened the door, I was face to face with a very handsome guy- although he did look a bit peaked. He was tall And lanky, about 6’2”, with jet black hair and dark stubble. He also was slightly olive completed. “I can see why you got the Rome run— you look Italian.” I told him. ”Well, that’s because I am— or at least my family was from there,” he confirmed as he coughed lightly into his hand. I led him into the bedroom where I had some porn playing. “You sure you wanna fuck?” He asked. “Oh yeah, I’m climbing the walls I’m so horny! I need that big cock to breed me!” ”But you could get really sick,” he said, a look of genuine concern on his face. I slowly knelt down in front of him. As I undid his pants I said, “At the rate this thing is going, we’re all gonna get it. I’d just prefer to get it out of the way and have some fun during, you know?” ”I think that’s how I got it,” he said. I went to a bathhouse in Rome and Fucked a bunch of guys before they locked the country down.” “Tell me about the bathhouse,” I said as I slipped his uncut dick into my mouth. He started telling me about these different guys he fucked there. Tourists. A couple locals. One drunk “straight” married American dad. He was rock hard and oozing Precum in morning time as he regaled me with his exploits. I tasted every salty drop. ”I need this cock in me,” I moaned. So he got me on all fours then he dropped and started eating my ass. Only stopping periodically to cough. As he ate my ass he would spit on my hole and then tongue it into me. I moaned every time I felt the spit hit. ”You really are a fucking pig, aren’t you?” He laughed as he shoved a finger roughly into me. “You’re chasing the VID!” ”FUCK ME!” I Growled. He did our some lube on his dick, but topped it off with fresh spit. Then he positioned his head At my hole. I could feel the fever heat of his cock scalding my pucker. ”Once I go it, I’m not stopping til I cum,” he warned. ”Do it,” I said. And then he was sliding into me. The man had a fucking incredible cock— thank you Italians! Ramrod straight, meaty, and veined. With enough foreskin to make it slide beautifully in my eager fuckhole. I felt his fever radiating into my guts like his cock was made of uranium. And again, true to his heritage, he knew how to fuck with that tool. He fucked in long, easy strokes with just a bit of hip snap at the end so I got the full effect of his length. His girth stretched my hole so that I had that wonderful, full feeling for each and every thrust. I was so goddamn ready for Dick that my ass just gobbled that dick right up. He even got up into my second ring with very little effort. It’s like my ass was built expressly to take his cock. He fucked me on all fours for awhile, probably 15 minutes while I hugged poppers and begged for him to own my ass. As his thrusting intensified, so did his occasional coughing spasms. Eventually he pulled out and maneuvered me onto my back. ”I’m gonna breed you soon, but I want to be looking into your eyes while I do it,” he panted. I nodded in agreement and lifted my legs for him. He slid into me and set to really fucking me. Pounding me mercilessly with every inch. My second ring was getting bruised from the fierceness if his thrusts. He was wheezing and coughing openly as he looked down at me. “Aw fuck, here I cum man! You’re ass is gonna get infected DEEP!” He shouted. He locked eyes with me as he rammed one final time to unload his seven days of pent up poison. I felt every throb. Every pulse of hot semen launching deep into me. I stroked my cock three times and coated his chest with my own load. I then reached up and pulled him down into a deep kiss- his cock still occasionally twitching inside me. As he got dressed to leave he looked down at me and said, “I hope this was worth it.” I looked up at him and smiled. “I’ll let you know in about two weeks.”