I started PrEP last month and I'm in the similar state of mind as the original poster was (maybe still is?), trying to figure out the who and whens.
When I'm fucking using condoms, I never ask about HIV status (and don't like being asked myself).
I think I want the equivalent of that for when I choose to bareback whilst on PrEP.
It's not that I think those discussions beforehand are useless (like it was said by Wood, those discussions can help you see clearer what someone's attitude is); it's that I'm so used to not trusting or not needing to trust what a guy says. I've got my safe sex practice and regardless of what they say, I'm sticking to that.
I fuck a lot of guys, one offs and regulars, using condoms, and with the overwhelming majority of them, I'll keep on using condoms, I don't want to change the sexual dynamic with them (condoms and PrEP - the safer sex equivalent of being laminated).
There's a couple of guys, however, that I think, god yeah, I'd love to fuck about bare with you (although I've yet to broach the matter with any of them). And there's a few situations I can think of (fueled by my own imagination and by the fiction sections of this site) that I'd love to explore.
Feels like it's all about re-negotiating that balance between pleasure and risk and finding what suits. Maybe my practice and rules will have to be a bit more fluid (pun intended).
I've probably gone a little off-topic, but this is my first post since registering and I've got a fair amount bouncing round my head (I doubt I've managed to catch it all).
It's helped a lot to actually type this post and put it out there (even and especially to be questioned and challenged).
This site has been incredibly helpful, thanks.