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Practice makes perfect - it wasn't the first time I tried fisting that I was able to take it - and take it comfortably. There used to be a time when 90% of my 'fisting' session was the stretching, the playing, the trying to get in one more finger - with finally getting a fist in being the 'climax' of the night. Now, a fist can slide in without much warmup - and can work up to a good punch fucking pretty quickly. The pleasure I get from fisting is immense - but if I tried to go from 'normal sized cock' to a forearm up my ass overnight ... that wouldn't be pleasant. Play with toys, fingers, loosen up, lots of lube, poppers help.

I recently had a rather nasty run in with Syphilis and ended up in the hospital because of it. It hit my liver, spread/progressed to secondary syphilis really fast (I had both primary and secondary symptoms). My BF on the other hand - only had the sore on his penis, 3 shots of penicillin later - he's fine, I'm still dealing with recovery from the number it did on my liver. I'm on meds, he's not - my CD4 count is in the high 500s, but mc CD4/CD8 ratio is pretty much 'normal'. His in the high 800s. My response to it was a rare/exceptional case - and had the doctors stumped for a while. I was admitted to the hospital due to high liver enzymes (over 2,000) - it wasn't until a few days later when I broke out in the body rash and the sore on my penis became visible that they tested for syphilis and figured out what was going on.

I am HIV+, but on meds with a decent CD4 count. My BF was infected also - but just had bit of a red rash on his penis for a few days and no other issues. The best reason that the docs could give me is that it ended up hitting my liver - combined with being HIV+, caused it to progress really, really quickly. None of the doctors had even seen a secondary-infection (body rash) in person before, let alone at the same time as primary infection symptoms + the hepatitis that it caused. Typically if Syphilis does affect your liver enzymes - it's a moderate increase - the normal level is between 7-56, if raised due to syphilis - it's usually into the hundreds or something. For me, it spiked over 2,000 and that is what had them really stumped at the start.

Could be a UTI - I get them now and then, usually if I don't take a piss/clean up after having anal sex. Doc visit is typically the same 'it's not usual for guys to get UTI's, get screened for them - but start meds anyways because the treatment is the same. Usually comes back as being ecoli/bacterial or something and not Chlamydia or Gonorrhea. I can typically tell the 'tingle' early enough now that if I start increasing my water intake/drinking lots of cranberry juice/etc, it can resolve itself without needing medication, but if it starts to persist for more than a few days and/or you see blood in your urine, get to a clinic.

People tend to glamorize BB sex, downplay the complications - so figured I'd share a story from the 'shit isn't always easy' side, and frankly - has made me decide to go back to monogamy for the time being. It wasn't often that me and my BF fucked around outside of the relationship, was more of a 'once in a blue moon' thing, so not going to miss it much. Also, this wasn't a typical reaction to Syphilis - my BF got the pretty standard reaction to it, where as I ended up sick as hell. It started a few weeks ago - I had a busy week at work, a few 12hr days in a row. Thursday rolls around before a long weekend and I started to feel a little run down - but figured I had just burnt myself out from the week and didn't think much of it. Grabbed a bottle of wine on the way in from work, had one glass then passed out complaining about a sore stomach. Friday I wake up feeling awful - it sort of felt like a flu, but also had a 'something different' to it - I know what a flu/fever feels like, food poisoning, having a cold - in all the ways I know 'what feeling sick' feels like, this didn't really fit in. I'd drink water, and start burping it up immediately, couldn't keep food down, and pretty much slept all day - and I was like this all weekend without any real imporvement. Monday rolls by, I wake up feeling awful still - call into work sick and drag my ass to a walk in clinic. The doctor couldn't make sense of my symptoms, orders some blood work and a urine test - while giving the urine sample I notice some red spots on my penis, I point them out to the doctor and he was dismissive of them and said "They just look like friction". But, he did notice that I was starting to jaundiced, and also ordered an Ultra sound. For some reason though, a full STD screen was not a part of this blood work. That Monday night, I probably felt the most awful I have felt in ages - it felt like my body was shutting down on me. Stomach pains, sweats, dizzy, confused, and just 'wrong' in a way that I couldn't pin point. On Wednesday, I head back to the walk in clinic to get my results - while waiting in the waiting room my family doctor calls me (had the results forwarded to him, but he was out of the office that week) and suggested that I go to ER. My liver levels were through the roof - the normal range is like 7-56, I was over 2,000. He said I should be prepared to spend the night there. At this point, I could barely stand up for 5 minutes without getting sweaty, dizzy, gross feeling -- but I head back home, pack up a bag and head to the ER. They ended up admitting me, asked me about my sexual past - again, despite being honest about being in a non-monogamous relationship and having unprotected sex, a full STD screen wasn't done. I guess they were just focused on my liver - and kept doing all sorts of tests for hepatitis. Over the next few days - they did every test for hep - hep A,B,C autoimmune, viral, bacterial, reaction to medications, etc - and everything came back negative and they were getting stumped and my liver levels were still through the roof. On my 3rd or so day in the hospital - I start to break out in a rash along my arms. Wasn't a raised rash, wasn't itchy - and they thought maybe it was shingles or something. They moved me to a private room because I was a 'contact risk', and booked me for a liver biopsy. A few more days, a few more tests - they were still stumped - but the rash had started to spread to my trunk and /finally/ they decided to do a syphilis test, which came back positive. Since the antibodies or whatever were so high in my system - and how aggressively it seemed to be affecting me, they were worried it might have progressed to neurosyphilis and I had to get a spinal tap/lumbar puncture done. That.fucken.sucked - my body broke out in crazy sweats, I just wanted to vomit the entire time - it was awful. Thankfully the spinal tap came back clear - as if it had progressed to Neurosyphilis I'd be looking at another 2 weeks in the hospital on an antibiotic IV drip. They had warned me I might get a headache after - I thought they meant 'immediately after', but no - apparently it was 'the next day after, and it might last for a week' - I was discharged the day after that (and after getting a shot of penicillin in the ass - 2 more to go), and today is the first day since then (almost a week ago) that I've been able to sit at my computer without getting a massive headache within minutes. Basically, the syphilis hit my liver and gave me hepatitis - spread aggressively fast and knocked me out for quite a bit. I've now missed 3 weeks of work, spent a week in the hospital. I wish they had done a full STD screen when admitting me to the hospital, but that would have only shaved a few days off of the whole ordeal. This isn't a typical reaction to syphilis - my BF just got a sore on his penis that started to go away almost as quickly as it came with no other symptoms - but it really did a number on me. Frankly, I'm tired of every time I fuck around feeling like I'm dodging a bullet - and glad it ended up not being Hep-C. After dealing with this, I never want to have to go through anything like that again - and back to being monogamous with my boyfriend.

Intent to infect, and/or having sex without disclosing. Disclose your status and generally your fine.

Why does it nee to be 'edgy' and putting himself at risk for HIV to be art?

I remember once going to a sauna while near black-out drunk, getting offered a bump of meth - taking it, then once it kicked in having a 'what am I doing?' moment - realized I didn't really want to be there and went home.

Just because he's enjoying a short-term high doesn't mean he wants to run a risk of getting a life-long disease. I used to PnP when i was younger and was pretty insistent on safe sex at the time.

I've fisted two people at the same time before, but TBH - it's a 'hotter in theory than it is in reality' for me. I generally like being able to focus when topping for FF - can really read the other persons body, know when to push, when to pull back, able to adjust your position/etc to get better depth/etc - can't really do that when doing two people at once. Might be hot for a few minutes, but not as an extended thing (for me atleast).

I wasn't really into 'barebacking', and was never a bug chaser. I generally had a good track record with safer-sex, but now and then I did fuck without a condom. Seriously, I can probably count the # of people I've had bareback sex with on one hand. So, with that in mind, my answers.. Regret may be the wrong word, but also the closest one. I'd rather not be HIV+ - it adds an unessicary complication to my life, more doctor appointments, more meds, etc. If I ever end up single again - it will complicate my dating life. Finding sex while HIV+ is easy, finding a relationship? that might be another story. While I don't think I was ever 'low risk', I did feel like I was mitigating my risk decently. Finding out I was HIV+ was a huge shock to me, and took me quite a few months to come to terms with. Maybe if I was slutting it up every weekend, BBing all the time, etc - my mindset would be different. But, after being in a mongamish relationship - very few partners other than my boyfriend, and even less of those were unprotected - meh... For me, I have almost found it to be the opposite - I still get wigged out about other STDs, and frankly I don't want to add Hep-C to the list. Every time I've tried to indulge a little and say 'fuck it, go for it, your already HIV+', I get paranoid about Syph, Ghon, Chlamydia, or Hep C. Even though the first 3 are treatable - they are a pain (and you are getting more resistant strains of Gonorrhoea that are getting harder to treat). Play safe? let them know you've done high risk stuff - and take things from there. One thing you need to keep in mind - Most people on this site seem to have a fetish for HIV and/or bare backing (and accept HIV as a likely outcome of their activities). There are not that many people on here that will be 'well..wait a minute' and give you the other point of view. What you are asking here, is almost like going to a Justin Bieber message board and asking 'Hey, how do you feel about Justin Bieber?', obviously your answers are going to be biased. Go to other message boards like, TheBody, or Poz.com - and you will see a far wider range of opinions on there, as it tends to be about dealing with / living with / supporting those who are HIV+, without fetishishing it.

Is Tosh gay? He often implies that he isn't but he also often implies that he's not - I don't know anything about him outside of his show / stand-up routine. Either way - you could then argue that his comedy is also homophobic as he rips on gays also and portrays silly stereotypes of homosexuals. Lots of comedians play off of stereotypes / etc. Getting a pass on playing off of stereotypes for a comedian has nothing to do with being gay, but with the fact that they are a comedian.

There's a difference between the 'occupational hazard' of an ass not being 100% squeaky clean, and pulling your cock out to find it coated with brown like you just tried to fuck a jar full of pudding. At times, even with the best-of-efforts with rinsing out you may end up with a little bit of brown-water or the small fleck of shit. That is the 'occupational hazard' of dealing with the ass. Seriously, if you are actively planning to get fucked -- take the time to freshen up a little bit.

Usually techno, but the dubbier-headier/deep sounding stuff, not the aggressive/pounding stuff. I sorta hate not having music on when having sex.

One of the big reasons for encouraging early treatment is to help prevent the spread of HIV. Outside of a few niche forums - this is generally seen as a good thing. Even RT has pointed to studies showing that 'people on HAART with undetectable viral load are at negligible risk of transmission.' Also, for most people - even if toxicity effects occur in 30 or so years - without meds, they would be in far worse health than before then. I am aware that everyone reacts differently to HIV. Me and my partner became poz at around the same time. After a year on meds, my CD4 count has seemingly stabilized at around 350 for some reason. My partner? no meds - and his CD4 count is 900 - but his viral load is getting high. There will come a point of which my doctor may put him onto meds regardless of CD4 count, as the virus if left to it's own devices - can be damaging to the body anyway by triggering the inflammatory response. It still might be awhile yet before he gets puts onto medication. It's weird though - despite my lower CD4 count, my health is pretty much fine. My partner, he's been having issues lately - and we both can't help but wonder 'how much of this could be related to HIV and not being on meds yet?' Now, lets say me and him break up - and he wants to enter the dating scene again. Most people don't want to get HIV, and most HIV+ people don't want to spread HIV - especially to potential HIV- partners. Again, this comes back as an 'early treatment to prevent the spread of HIV' - and really, I have a hard time as viewing this as a bad thing. Or, take Average-Joe, that isn't a bug-chaser, isn't into gift giving/getting, HIV fetish, etc. He fucked up one night, didn't use a condom, or it broke - and finds himself HIV+. He wants to continue is generally 'conservative' sex life (ie: not many casual hookups, rather be dating/in a relationship). I can see why he would be inclined to start ARV therapy sooner rather than later. Not everyone views becoming HIV+ as a sexually liberating free-pass to all of the kinky anonymous bareback casual sex they always wanted but were too afraid to get. So, between the desire to reduce a persons risk of transmission, and minimizing the inflammatory response of letting HIV run wild in your system - I can understand the desire to treat sooner rather than later. I do agree with the notion of 'Each person needs to be considered individually to determine when to start meds' and not so much 'start them the moment that they find out they are poz'. Factors such as how their body handles the virus, and what they are doing in the rest of their lives that could impact it. ie: I just found out I'm poz, my CD4 count is great - I generally would put off going on meds, but I just started dating an HIV- person and want to reduce my risk of transmission. It seems like medications are getting to the point where the long-term harm of going on medications sooner rather than later, is out-weighing the potential long term harm of letting HIV go untreated.