SpectreAgent

An interesting post, especially as I’ve just watched the new documentary about Rock Hudson today (which is brilliant, by the way). The crisis galvanised me. I refused to be cowed and became quite active in fundraising and raiding awareness. As I was never “in” (friends joke I was cruising the doctor as I came out of the womb), going into the closet that I’d never been in wasn’t on my agenda. But I understand why some guys felt they had to. The media in the UK in the early days was pretty horrific. 

8 minutes ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Here's a thought: maybe some people are misrepresenting themselves by using older pics or having some (to put it mildly) artistic license with their stats. That's likely why a lot of people ghost - because they would otherwise be found out to be different from what they claimed.

It seems a common behaviour - so I ask what motivates that? My answer is that advertising, porn, and gay culture shows us images that are not a reflection of how many of us really are  Do people then try to live up to these images and expectations by exaggerating aspects of their profiles? This further perpetuates that 'image' and it becomes a vicious circle.   

Images are beginning to change but I think it's an 80/20 thing where 80% of us aren't like the images we see in the gay media. And yet 80% of gay media is pushing that image.

It's not healthy and I think what we see with people's behaviour in the apps is just a symptom of that. 

You make interesting points. I guess we’ve probably all been guilty at some point in not updating profile pictures. I know I have. I don’t believe I’ve ever misrepresented how I look, though, and I’ve been very fortunate not to change much in the last 15 years - except perhaps I’m slimmer and more muscular than I was then. 

This idea of secret codes always reminds me of my mother’s friend who moved to a new neighbourhood in the 70s. She and her husband were unaware that the cul-de-sac they’d moved too had an active swingers scene. Back then, car keys were the, er, key to hooking up. The men would all put their car keys in a bowl and the women would pick out the keys belonging to the guy they intended to shag.

My mum’s friend was blissfully unaware of this. So, when a man who clearly wanted her to pick his keys up, sauntered past and “casually” dropped his keys in front of her before walking away, she plucked them up and shouted out, “Oi, you’ve just dropped your bloody car keys, you daft sod.”

I believe they were not invited again. 

20 hours ago, topblkmale said:

Usually hotels near airports are fair game. Hop on Sniffies. I love to open my Grindr app and drive past the airport. I get so many hits and have met guys on overnight layovers heading to Europe or flight attendants.

You’re absolutely right. Airport hotels - or even hotels mainly used by cabin crew in a city - are fertile ground. Open Grindr around Heathrow and you’re knee deep in cock. 

51 minutes ago, partying.hard said:

My participation in that business never was work. It simply was a kink of mine.

I participated in both sides. I didn’t need the money, but it turned me on that a guy was willing to pay me to fuck with him. And I’ve never needed to pay to get laid, but I thought it was hot to shell out some cash to have someone get into my bed. 

I think I’ve told the story on here before of a guy I hooked up with in Greenwich, London. It was the days of telephone ads and pre-apps. After our first meeting, he put some money in my hand - about £80, which was a lot back then. Thinking he’d misunderstood the terms of our meeting, I told him I didn’t expect anything in return, but he insisted I take it. It dawned on me that he got off in treating me like a paid whore. I was conflicted about it at first but rationalised it wasn’t for me to judge. I saw him a few times after that, not for the money but because he was fit. And each time the £80 was handed over. I put it to the massive phone bill I’d run up on the chat lines!  

15 hours ago, topblkmale said:

 

Reposting from another thread...

Yes, East Side Club (ESC) is the only bathhouse left in NYC. Frankly, its not worth it. NYC is all about private sex parties now. Find one or two you like and get on the contact list for details.

 

Google: Gay Sex in New York City - WordPress.com

Also milkchocolatenyc.com

rainbowplaygroundclub.com

 

Twitter: @MilkChocolateNYC

As someone planning on making regular trips to NYC, I’m also grateful for the information,

1 hour ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Actually it's not that bad - guys drink a lot of water/beer so it's all really diluted. There is only a smell if you don't wash your gear out and leave it. Take a change of clothes/shoes, a small towel, a bag to put anything wet in (they will give you one if you ask) and if you're really paranoid, a can of Lynx/Axe (but please use it outside the venue).  I've been going for a long time and have to take uber, train and bus to get there.  Never had a comment or bad uber rating on the way home.  

I usually booked a room in the hotel above! 😂

Have as much fun with your genitals as you can because you’ll miss it when you’re dead.

Posted something, then realised I’d already answered. 
These senior moments are increasing… 😂

I’ve posted this before but mine was on the Docklands Light Railway, in broad daylight (and those carriages have very big windows) between Islands Gardens and Canary Wharf. The train guard didn’t mind because I did it with the train guard.

I can’t better two of my mates, though. One shagged a guy behind a mummy case in the British Museum. Another, who was a stage manager in the West End, picked a guy up in Soho one Sunday afternoon. With nowhere else to go, he took the guy back to the theatre. The play was Whose Life Is It Anyway? which featured a bed on the set. And that’s where they did it. In bed. On stage. In an empty theatre.

22 hours ago, partying.hard said:

Oh yeah….at the AIDS clinic. The bathroom was infamous.

I also have raw fucked, bred, stealthed @HIV fundraisers, and on Aids life cycle bike ride.

Those little red ribbons were often more effective back then than Grindr is now. And if that sounds flippant, don’t shoot the messenger because I know of loads of guys who regarded them as a variant of the hanky code. 

6 hours ago, partying.hard said:

I am totally 50/50 vers.  I’ve got a big dick and like to fuck and I have a hungry hole that loves attention. I don’t know if it’s unfortunate, but there are times where I’m in the mood to bottom and hooking up with a guy who is a top, but when he sees my dick, he suddenly throws up his legs.
 

All of that, notwithstanding, I love to bottom. I love the intimacy of taking raw dick up my ass. It’s extremely erotic and sensual and nasty to feel his cock spasming as he dumps his load. And I don’t know why it only happens with some guys and not others, but sometimes I can feel the individual ropes of sperm shooting out of his cock. 

Your second paragraph really nails it, I think. That intimacy you describe goes way beyond the physical for me.

Love it. Give and take. 

37 minutes ago, ryanroman said:

This is a question that can be looked at through so many lenses.  Some guys accept it.  Other embrace it.  Others feel it makes them a fighter.  Still others are embarrassed or ashamed.  We still get judged based on our status.  My own bf was embarrassed by what people would think of him based on poz porn content I made with a buddy.  The shaming by others is always a gut punch.  

I get no judgement from my medical staff who are mostly female and all very positive (no pun intended) and upbeat. However, my consultant always gives one piece of advice: be careful who you tell, because you can never untell it.

Having recently visited New York for the first time with family and absolutely falling in love with the city, I intend to return alone within the next year to hook up. And as a mate is moving to LA next year, I’m sure I’ll find an excuse to pay him a visit…

15 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

I did a quick search and didn't find any other topics on the first page of results, so I'm starting a new thread. Anyone else enjoy having sex with an ex? Two weekends ago I had sex with my 3-exes ago. We have both gotten more 🐷 since we were together more than a decade ago. And the sex was hotter than ANY sex we had when we were a couple! That was in part because we understand that we're exes for a reason and in part because we both know it's just sex, which wasn't a problem when we were in a relationship.... We live close enough to one another that we plan on getting together regularly to have sex. And I told him that if he gets bred by someone else and still wants more to let me know, cause I'll be right over! Him having sex with another man would never have been a consideration when we were together, much less me enjoying sloppy seconds!

You sound like the perfect ex…

4 hours ago, gingerdaddyG said:

Yup!  And I don’t know where Stacy came from - since when did autocorrect think sexy means Stacy??? 🤣

Well, I’m glad someone finds me “Stacy”…😉

6 hours ago, Johnjohn said:

Anybody find guys with a head of ginger hair, a ginger hairy chest, and a ginger treasure trail leading to a mass of ginger hairs round his cock a turn on?

A massive turn on. 

9 hours ago, gingerdaddyG said:

I don’t think Dorian Gray could’ve been as Stacy as you! 😜

Well, you’ve seen them! 😂

One thing I think many of us can be guilty of is not updating our photos. I know I am. It’s tempting to do the photographic equivalent of that old gag “I’ve been 39 for five years and I hope to get another three years out of it” but even so, it’s a tad dishonest to have ancient photos on a profile. I realised mine on BBRT were a bit Dorian Gray in reverse (I was decaying while my portraits stayed relatively youthful) so I recently updated them and all are now 2023. 

16 hours ago, Ieatcumholes said:

Having read through this thread, all I can say, is 🤯🤯🤯!

My fantasies/kinks are just that - mine! If the vibe is right, I'll mention them as a possibility to the bottom I'm going to hook up with. If they're not into them, I drop the conversation as I don't need to have my fantasies/kinks happen every time I have sex.

Some of the listed requests are so weirdly specific, that I have to wonder what happened in those people's lives to get them to that point...

I’m pretty sure I’d be up for any of your kinks or fantasies…😉

Mine’s up to date, too. 

3 hours ago, jeff238 said:

This didn't happen to me, but I saw it on a Craigslist ad one night.

The guy wanted you to come to his house, door unlocked, come in and go to the kitchen and find a little wooden toy airplane sitting on the counter, then jack off and cum on the airplane, while he remained upstairs and not seen, then let yourself out. To sweeten the deal, he offered 3 hard boiled eggs in the fridge, as compensation. He also had a picture of the cute little airplane in the ad. I laughed so hard, I was useless for the rest of the night.

Another one. My friend, a top, had a guy that wanted to come over, get naked, lay face down on my friend's dining room table, while my friend made a tossed salad with specifically Italian dressing on the small of his back, and eat it. No sex, just salad.

A therapist could make a career out of those two alone.

50 minutes ago, PissPigBrooklyn said:

Well, frankly I am an assman but a total bottom. I love to rim a top before he fucks me !

50 minutes ago, PissPigBrooklyn said:

Well, frankly I am an assman but a total bottom. I love to rim a top before he fucks me !

We're two of a kind.

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

She wanted to watch…the schoolboy spanking?

One wonders what goes on in that flat on nights when they don’t have a guest…

I think there were definite weird vibes in that relationship. A couple - one English, one Spanish - once picked me up at a sex party and took me to their rather expensive pad in Greenwich. The English guy drew up a chair and wanted to watch his Spanish partner fucking me, which I found....interesting. But this was on a whole differnt level of weirdness.