SpectreAgent

2 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

The Prince Albert (mentioned above) actually has bareback weekends.

I ALSO would love that cock up me sometime. Do you ever get to Brighton?   

Yes, the PA is a great venue. But its “specialist” weekends are booked out months in advance. Unsurprisingly…

Ah, Trades. The memories I have of that place. Back in the day it was awesome. I haven’t been since before the pandemic and since I discovered the far superior Prince Albert Hotel (the PA) round the corner. But in truth Trades had been, er, trading on its notorious past for a long time before Covid and always seemed to have declined a tad more with each subsequent visit. That said, it’s always had a sleazy, dirty piquancy to it and I doubt (though cannot confirm) the open door policy has changed. 

4 minutes ago, topblkmale said:

It counts as 'due diligence' and it makes guys feel better about themselves for having unprotected sex with random and complete strangers who they just met in a cruise spot or an online app.

 

The correct answer remains: Yes, I'm clean. Are you? (make suspicious looking expression on face)

Probably the most perfect response. 

17 hours ago, BBArchangel said:

Great story! really intense and imaginative . I'd love to see at least one following chapter in which he seduces the man in the gold mask.

I’m torn. I agree it would be great to follow the journey. But the short story is so perfect with a brilliant ending in its current state that an extension might dilute its power and intensity. Sometimes, less is more. That said, on balance, I’d happily read further chapters…

That twist at the end - with such a simple, killer line - was inspired. 

14 minutes ago, RawUK said:

'I am having a fag' has a completely different meaning in the UK to the US for example. If a UK smoker (a fag to most people here is a cigarette), said that in the wrong circles in the US,  at best he'll get a strange look, but at worse who knows!

I was actually thinking of the very same example! 

3 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

Maybe, maybe not.

If groups of people were routinely addressed as "Ladies (plus others)" I suspect a lot of men would complain about being relegated to being lumped in as a " plus other." Of course, business letters well into the middle of the 20th century were addressed to "Gentlemen:" if the recipient's name wasn't known, and only after a lot of women in business started making noise about that did "To whom it may concern" become widespread - it had existed, but wasn't considered formal or proper.

People who are covered by that "+" symbol can reasonably object to being shuffled into a category that's not well-defined at all. From the perspective of someone who *IS* covered by one of the primary initials, it may seem like much ado about nothing, but I suspect those would be the first people to complain if the phrase were shortened to, say, "LBT+" and gay men were just assumed to be in the "catchall".

I'm old enough to remember when it was simply "G&L" when you were referring to both gay men and lesbians, or just "gay". I remember LGB becoming more widely used as bisexuals began asserting their own, different identity (not just gays in denial), and I remember loud, vociferous fights over the move to LGBT because an awful lot of LGB people insisted that transgender/transsexual/transvestite issues were separate from gay (or gay and lesbian, or gay, lesbian, and bisexual) issues.

Which is why I have come around, over the years, on "queer". Yes, it's a slur in origin. But it's also one of the few words I can imagine that covers all the people involved, without having to keep adding on letters (LGBTQIAMNOP). 

"Gay" was a slur once, too. We adapted. We (or most of us, at least) can adapt to "queer", eventually.

I think you’ve eloquently put what I (perhaps more clumsily) was trying to say: that these waters are more difficult to navigate than we sometimes think. As others have said, language is always evolving. And there are regional and geographical differences, too. What might be terribly offensive in the US, say, might be less so over here. And vice versa. 

5 hours ago, BergenGuy said:

I'm one of those "older guys" who find it offensive.  And, I'd wager that there's more than a handful of us.  Personally, I don't feel connected with any organization that has "queer" in the title.  In fact, I feel excluded.  

I’m still not comfortable with it, to be honest (being an older guy myself). But when I saw a bar named Queer in Manchester’s gay village I thought that maybe it was time to stop fretting about it. Is it irony? Is it taking back an insult and aiming it straight back? Who knows? I have neither the time nor the inclination to worry about it.

7 hours ago, drscorpio said:

There is a difference between what a person calls themselves and asks/tells their friends to call them and terms getting bandied about on the Internet. 

I have had black friends who liked me to use the N-word in race play because it was their kink. That doesn't give me license to say that word anytime and anyplace to any audience. 

It's a simple difference that we all understand. You folks are being disingenuous. 

If you felt I was being disingenuous, I apologise. That was not my intention. I was merely supporting the previous post that it can be much muddier waters to navigate than we care to imagine. I’m old enough to remember when “queer” was one of the worst insults that could be hurled my way. Now it’s been reclaimed but there are still guys who detest it. So what to do?  Not use it because a handful of older guys still find it offensive?

6 hours ago, TotalTop said:

I just say trans, but I have personally met trans ladies and other trans people who call themselves a tranny, she-male, "man" with a cunt, etc.

The British artist and activist Grayson Perry (now Sir Grayson Perry after his recent Knighthood) calls himself “a tranny potter”. I doubt anyone would call him bigoted. They would look rather foolish if they did. 

8 hours ago, Slinglizard said:

Thank you so much @RawPlug!

If anybody is around and fancies a few pints and maybe something else, let me know!

On rereading my post, I realise if might come across as being more jaundiced than I intended. Canal Street has become jaded and lacklustre, but there are some terrific guys in the city. And The Eagle is great on a busy night. 

I’ll address this to both @Slinglizard and @Doccer19677

I lived in MediaCity until last year (had to sell a kidney to pay for it!) and enjoyed a robust sex life there. First tip is that Uber is your friend. Manchester is a relatively contained city and public transport isn’t marvellous. Black cabs tend to be driven by grumpy racist homophobes in my experience but you’re never more than a couple of minutes away from an Uber. My Uber history and shagging history are practically a mirror image.

The gay scene is a pale shadow of what it was and Canal Street is very hit and miss these days. Sometimes great, sometimes just a mass of vile queens more interested in bitching than shagging. The last couple of times I went to Company bar (admittedly a long time ago) it was dead. The Eagle is a much better bet. The Basement is, again, very hit and miss. And you can never predict when it’ll be busy. It can be great, it can make you wish you’d stayed at home and had a wank.

Like everywhere, the apps in Manchester have a large percentage of time wasters. But if you turn on Grindr, BBRT in Salford Quays/MediaCity you’ll be knee deep in cock at all hours so the odds aren’t too bad. However, the best app (particularly during pandemic lockdowns I found) is FabGuys surprisingly. For some reason, FB seems popular in the city. Certainly, the filters for what you’re looking for (bareback etc) really do allow you to cut to the chase quickly.

Hope that helps.

The Berlin tourist board should employ you. I’ve never been - although another BZ member has long told me of its allure - and now I really feel I must. 

11 minutes ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Sadly I missed out on The Fort - but I did frequent Play Pit in the Caledonian Road. Every time I walk past the old place I get pangs of nostalgia for it. It sounds like much the same sort of place - no attitude - just lots of horny guys doing their thing. 

I regret never going to Play Pit. I know you would have loved The Fort. 

2 minutes ago, RawUK said:

Like @VersGuyAnon I came to the sleazier any cock/load side of things later in life, although in my youth I spent many a happy hour cruising woods, laybys, cottages etc.

I really got into going to XXL a few years ago, which has also now sadly closed due to redevelopment.

I often go to saunas, but was wondering @RawPlug @VersGuyAnon and anyone else who cares to answer, which club night/venue in London is the sleaziest these days?

If The Fort still existed I would definitely be heading there having read your reminiscences.

Sadly, it’s a long time since I was overly familiar with the London scene (and, God, I miss the Heath) so I can’t really advise. So many places I loved back in the day seem to have gone. I was particularly fond of Brief Encounter in St. Martin’s Lane, just a stone throw from Trafalgar Square. There, a famous theatrical Knight of the Realm once tried to pick me up, but I went home instead with a security guard from the South African embassy. 

2 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

OMG I miss The Fort. 

Actually, back in those days I was much more "pure", but I still managed to fuck by the lockers and against the bar. I loved the fact you could fuck anywhere in the place. 

I still find guys think I’m exaggerating when I tell them what that place was like. If Hogarth had drawn a debauched gay saturnalia he wouldn’t have captured the spirit of The Fort. And yet there was a raw (no pun intended) honesty about the place. With its boots only policy, you could be interacting with a city banker or a scally from a sink estate. There was never any attitude. Just unadulterated rutting. Expensive apartments now stand on the site I understand (haven’t been there since The Fort closed). I wonder what their owners would make of what went in there. It would be awful to tell them. Wouldn’t it…? 
 

Did you ever go to the Pride of Stepney? Not as extreme as The Fort (but, then, what could be?) , but raunchy as hell in its own way. 

4 hours ago, BootmanLA said:

The poster to whom you're responding has a profile indicating he lives in Greece. I can't verify what he's saying, but it's quite possible that in some other countries, particularly ones in Europe, there is in fact not only taxpayer-funded health care but living stipends (aka "welfare") paid by the government.

That is not to dispute your general point that HIV is still something people should be avoiding if possible. But we Americans tend to forget, at times, that not every place on this planet treats health care as a profit-based system designed to enrich insurance companies (and some providers), or that not every place on this planet treats assisting citizens financially as a sign of moral failure on the part of the recipient.

You are correct to point this out. God knows, the NHS here in the UK is far from perfect. Every year it seems to be going through “the worst crisis in its history”. It is top heavy with managers who have no clinical experience and it pays pointless “inclusion and diversity” managers four times what it pays its nurses. So I don’t view it through rose tinted spectacles. Plus it isn’t “free” inasmuch workers pay national insurance.  (As I’ve now paid my maximum required National Insurance contribution - I doubled up payments when I was younger - I will now only ever draw from the system, no longer contribute). But, despite its faults and occasional creakiness, the NHS is still pretty bloody marvellous. Let me give you a personal example.

Yesterday, I had my regular six month checkup with my HIV consultant. There were actually two this time as one was training. When I walked through the door, my meds for the next six months were parcelled up for me. I had all the usual tests. Blood pressure was taken. Weight. Cholesterol. They checked all my vaccinations were up to date. We had a chat and a laugh about overindulging at Christmas because I’d put on a couple of pounds since my last visit. Then they asked if I’d like a urine check for protein. I duly obliged and got an all clear result within minutes. I packed my meds, made my next appointment for June and was on my way. For this, I was not expected to pay one penny. It was less than an hour out of my day and a not unpleasant one.

I don’t wish to downplay the negatives others have outlined here. But it’s worth remembering that experiences may vary. 

30 minutes ago, RawPlug said:

We’ve all been there! And that back, back room was so deliciously deprived…

Depraved, not “deprived”. Bloody autocorrect 😂

8 hours ago, 1hornyjohn said:

I got fucked waiting at the bar for service!

Mind you,  I didn't say no!

We’ve all been there! And that back, back room was so deliciously deprived…

3 minutes ago, 1hornyjohn said:

You beat me to it. I was going to say The Fort (of happy memory)

I have such memories of that place…

Hard to pick just one. If pushed, I’d say the much lamented Fort in London. 

Neither exciting or anything else. It’s all a bit nothing to me. I take my meds in the morning (I don’t pay for them here in the UK) and forget about it until the next morning. If there was a cure tomorrow would I take it? Yes, of course. But I don’t beat myself up because there isn’t one. What I can say is that it has changed me in one positive (no pun intended) way. I’ve concentrated on eating well and working out regularly. The result is I’m now far fitter than I’ve ever been in my life. Would I have done that before? Probably not. I know that isn’t the case for everyone and there are some harrowing home truths on this thread. But I’ve been fortunate not to have endured any of the bad experiences that have been outlined. For me, it is what it is, nothing more and nothing less.

2 minutes ago, Gayasian said:

What you encounter is not unusual. For me 9 out of 10 guys on online hook up site are mainly flakes.

The amount of time I've encountered guys when they message me to arrange for a meet and the last minute just block me when I'm at their place. Just happened to me again yesterday.

You speak the truth. The trouble is the 1 out of 10 might be a marvellous shag. And that’s allure that keeps us going… 

I share your frustration. It seems to go with the territory online these days. Whenever I’ve felt the same, I’ve always reminded myself that I have met some great guys through the apps/online, a few who have become regular fuckbuds. The percentage is, admittedly, low but it has happened. One has to cling to that!

You also hit the nail on the head about guys not reading profiles. Perhaps they don’t feel the need if they’re knocking one out over their screens, but it is annoying. 
 

7 hours ago, HornyBoiHere said:

Where can we read said diaries...? 😉

I think they’re still available on Amazon. I know some people wanted them banned but they based a movie on them - Prick Up Your Ears, with Gary Oldman, Alfred Molina and Vanessa Redgrave - so that didn’t get very far.