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Are Gays More Racist?


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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marten-weber/gay-racism_b_1295368.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1536991,b=facebook

My personal experience is not like that at all, but of course, I have a big dick and I bet it makes things easier. But I'd say that it is a big mistake to equate sexual preferences to racism. Are we misogynistic because we don't like to date and have sex with women?

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I think gay men are less racist than the wider society. Being part of what in many areas can be a tiny minority, means that we are forced to congregate in the same bars and clubs. Perhaps there are bars for gay Asians somewhere in the U.K. but I haven't heard of any. The U.K. used to be quite rigidly stratified along class lines but it was long noticed that this was much less marked in the gay community. For many years Northern Ireland had clubs and pubs whose clientele was almost exclusively Protestant or R.C. The gay community ( out of necessity ) was integrated. People often find "difference" attractive and exciting. Look at the number of groups on this site for fans of black men and Asians. My Anglo-Celtic ancestry means that my skin is almost milk white. Perhaps for that reason, I have always found men with more colour than me attractive. Racial sexual preferences are like age preferences, body shape preferences, or degree of hairyness. It's a sexual preference - not racism. I am not saying that there are NO gay racists, just fewer among us than there are in the wider society.

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I agree you cannot equate sexual preference with racism though plenty do try.

I have friends of all types and sizes but sexually I only find a subset of people to be sexually exciting.

How I see it, if for example I refuse to let asian guys get on a bus, I would be racist, if I refused to have sex with them it's not since sex is a private act and getting on a bus is a public act.

Profiles are public statements of private desire. Allowing people to express themselves openly in profiles is useful for us to avoid those we would not get on with as well as finding those we do get on with.

Best practice guidance I have seen is for people to state who or what they do want, not what they don't, but then they have to deal with the act of ignoring or rejecting people they are not interested in. They find it easier to say "no whatever..."

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No we are just more vocal about what we like. I like black dick, asian dick too but it can't be small like the asian I took home from the disco to fuck so he would finally stop following me around like a puppy dog. He is where the asins have small dicks (which is not the case for all asian men) rumor got it's start. It was pinky sized. And I love latin cock. But I think the fact that gay men come right out and say that they do not like asians is misinterpreted. If I did not like asian guys and kept getting msgs from them hitting on me I would probably add that I am not into asian guys in my profile but that would be to save them and me time because its a waste of both our time if they try to msg me for a hookup. So I would consider that doing a favor for them so they can move on to the next profile where they have a chance as hooking up possibly. Nothing racist with that. Now if I posted something saying I don't like (insert asian slur here) and then went on to list racial features of asian men that i especially dislike then that would be racist. People need to lighten up a bit and not be so quick to label something racist.

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The most racism I've encountered is with gay men. And the typical comment is something to the effect of lighten up, it's just my preference...as though that excuses rude behavior. There's such a thing as tact and even a sense of comraderie that is sorely lacking. This is coming from someone that has frequented the West Hollywood crowd. It's not so nasty in Silverlake, but then it can also be said that there's just as much condescension regarding body size as racism in all this faggotry. BTW, my milky-white complexioned friend only admits to being latino if that is the potential fuck's preference. What a nice option to have, eh?

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Alot of gays are very racist. Good and bad. Its just the nature of gay men being over sexualized and objectified based on appearances and pre-conceived images we have learned from the media including the internet, news, TV, gay porn and other social mediums.

Countless times I've been referred to as BIG BLACK COCK or BBC. Doesn't bother me...I actually expect it now. As gay men, are guys really interested in my hands, feet, smile, brain or heart? NOPE. Adding a racial element just makes the allusion hotter for most.

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A racist has hatred and disdain for other races and won't associate with them. I spoke to a gay guy once thru work situations that had racist views, he hated mostly everyone. He even mentioned my ethnic background because he obviously didn't know, one of those "I hate those people" kind of bigots. When I told my mother about him sitting there badmouthing our heritage without knowing she thought it was very funny. I don't call people like that out, because they are stupid and not worth the effort. I remember one Halloween I told my parents the the same little black kids keep coming back for candy. My parents told me they were just kids. We had a black neighbor move in next to my parents. My parents and I welcomed her, she was a nice lady, a nurse, had a gay son too. She was the best neighbor to live in that house, but I don't think the other neighbors welcomed her.

I find a lot less racism in the gay community, but it depends on how you were brought up. Having a preference for one race dating wise doesn't make you a racist. We all have preferences otherwise old and fat guys would be appreciated and wanted in our community. It depends where you grew up too, in the northeast it wasn't a big deal to associate with people of other races. I have an acquaintance that I knew form online and was a friend of someone I know down here and he is in a gay interracial relationship and lives in Maryland. I have a friend who grew up in Canada and he wasn't exposed to many black people. I found it odd that he fooled around in sex clubs and never had sex with a black guy. Now he's dating a Puerto Rican guy, and he's a good person so I know he's not racist.

Trust me that there is a lot more racism in the straight community. You won't see it because in front of you they won't say it, but there is. There is just more vapidness in the gay community.

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I guess it depends on what you consider racism to be. So much of gay culture seems to revolve around sex, and lots of people seem to have an idea of what they're physically attracted to that's based, at least in part, on race.

So let me ask another question: are people like me, who generally won't have sex with guys who are under 27 or so, ageist? Are the 19 year olds who may refer to me as "daddy" (not the way to appeal me, incidentally) being discriminatory?

I don't think so. I think people are entitled to express what appeals to them physically, and inevitably, that's going to involve a whole bunch of things we have zero control over (race, age, height, eye and hair color, cock size). I think the problem comes in because you have a group of guys who are pretty promiscuous. When you have a guy who's the village bicycle turn you down, it's very easy to ascribe that to something darker than "you're not my type."

Here's the reality: just like everybody is somebody's type, nobody is everybody's type. I find our host here incredibly hot and would jump in the sack with him in a heartbeat. But I'm not his type. And that's cool. It doesn't mean we couldn't have a beer together at some point. Nor does it mean he's prejudiced in any way. It just means that he has a certain kind of man he's into and others that he's not. No need to read anything more than that into it.

And the typical comment is something to the effect of lighten up, it's just my preference...as though that excuses rude behavior. There's such a thing as tact and even a sense of comraderie that is sorely lacking.

Here's where I agree with you: you do need to be polite. You don't have to let someone down by calling them names. If someone comes on to you, they're paying you a compliment. A simple, "thanks very much, but you're not my type" will do.

Now, some guys won't take no for an answer. At that point, you forfeit the right to politeness, IMO.

As for how we treat guys outside of the sexual arena, that gets a little trickier. Physical attractiveness should never be part of how we interact with people on a social or especially a professional level. But I'll admit that extremely hot men (particularly hot straight guys I know damn well aren't going to have sex with me) have gotten more attention from me on both levels simply because I want to be around them as much as I can.

Is that right? Probably not. It probably comes from letting the wrong head do a lot of my thinking. Does that mean that I treat other men or women inappropriately? No; I always do try to mind my manners. But that is something that does happen with me and that I struggle a bit to keep in check, because it is a form of prejudice, albeit one I'd say is pretty pervasive and universal.

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I have a friend who grew up in Canada and he wasn't exposed to many black people. I found it odd that he fooled around in sex clubs and never had sex with a black guy. Now he's dating a Puerto Rican guy, and he's a good person so I know he's not racist.

You have to be a little careful with some of those assumptions. There's a tendency to assume that racism = prejudice towards blacks, which comes from the history of slavery and segregation here in the US. But of course, any race can be a target and anyone can be a racist.

Canada's actually a great case in point. Canadians generally pride themselves on their liberalism and open-mindedness when it comes to race. But in some parts of the country, there's a huge blind spot where Natives are concerned.

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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marten-weber/gay-racism_b_1295368.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1536991,b=facebook

My personal experience is not like that at all, but of course, I have a big dick and I bet it makes things easier. But I'd say that it is a big mistake to equate sexual preferences to racism. Are we misogynistic because we don't like to date and have sex with women?

I would like to think gay men would be less racist. I am personally attracted to men of other races, ie, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. I think there are many white gay men that feel the same way.

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I would like to think gay men would be less racist. I am personally attracted to men of other races, ie, Black, Hispanic, Asian, etc. I think there are many white gay men that feel the same way.

and some white guys only will date white guys, some black guys will only date black guys. I don't see a problem with that. I remember seeing a black girl online say that she didn't like white men's dicks because it reminded her of uncooked meat.:grin: ...to each their own. Sometimes people feel more comfortable within their own culture for dating purposes. To me racism is more about disrespect for other ethnicityies than who you choose to date. I don't discriminate as to who I fall in love with.

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I think gay guys are as racist as any other individual. Men are men, all created equal. Some guys only like a particular race, which I find disturbing, because it is not so much about racism against others but internalized racism. I feel the same way about guys who only want "masculine guys": I am a top and masculine guys are not very good bottoms in my experience. Femmy bottoms are great in bed and love to please.

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