adam4adam Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Hello, I have been posting and lurking around here for a while now. A few months ago I was outed, (not my choice). Now that my family knows that I am gay i kinda feel like i shouldnt be getting fucked raw. I cant even do it anymore lol I think of my mom and how she would respond knowing i was getting fucked raw especially after she told me that she didnt care who i had sex with as long "as i wore a condom" I went from getting bred by 2 or three different random dudes a week, i havent taken a random load or been fucked raw by a random in two months, i only got bred once raw once by a guy i knew fairly well. I am glad my family accepts me but is this just a phase or something more permanent? what does this forum thinks? Has anyone else been in this situation as well.
barefootbob Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 I would say, for now, go with your gut instinct and play safe. give it time and return to yourself and reask the question.
seaguy Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Glad to hear your family was accepting. Your mom and family are always going to express concern for your safety when it comes to your life. Wear a condom when fucking, wear a helmet when riding a bike, wear your seat belt.....That is just how parents are. So I would not focus on that one statement and let it prevent you from doing what makes you happy.
Male22192 Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Even though I'm not having sex right now, if I did, it would be with condoms. I LOVE bareback, but as a bottom, I don't want to take the risks of getting an STD or HIV, especially since I don't have medical insurance. Right now, I have to ask myself if I am willing to risk my health for a few minutes of pleasure and having to deal with a lifetime of having to deal with a chronic medical condition. I'm not. So playing safe would be the way to go, for me personally. -- Plus, there is a lot of conflicting info going on out there. Some say you can live with HIV for about 32 years while others say up to 50 years. Going off the 32 year figure, I am not ready to die when I turn 62!
Snarkybitch Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 No, you're not wrong to choose to have safe sex at this point in time. It's a personal decision everyone should make for themselves. The only question is: are you happy doing what you're doing right now?
Male22192 Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 I have to say in all honesty, I am. Some people say bareback is so much more intimate, but I have discovered that isn't true. If you don't have chemistry with your sexual partner, going bareback isn't going to change that. Feeling wise, it's pretty much the same in my opinion, except for initial penetration. If I truly need cum, it is much safer to give a blowjob and swallow.
bbfan74 Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Make a test. If you're neg, listen to your Mum and play it safe from now on.
Snarkybitch Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 I have to say in all honesty, I am. Some people say bareback is so much more intimate, but I have discovered that isn't true.If you don't have chemistry with your sexual partner, going bareback isn't going to change that. Feeling wise, it's pretty much the same in my opinion, except for initial penetration. If I truly need cum, it is much safer to give a blowjob and swallow. Then it sounds like you have your answer.
bearbandit Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Some say you can live with HIV for about 32 years while others say up to 50 years. Going off the 32 year figure, I am not ready to die when I turn 62! That 32 year figure had better be wrong: in retrospect, I seroconverted in 1980!
slowfuck Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Hello,I have been posting and lurking around here for a while now. A few months ago I was outed, (not my choice). Now that my family knows that I am gay i kinda feel like i shouldnt be getting fucked raw. I cant even do it anymore lol I think of my mom and how she would respond knowing i was getting fucked raw especially after she told me that she didnt care who i had sex with as long "as i wore a condom" I went from getting bred by 2 or three different random dudes a week, i havent taken a random load or been fucked raw by a random in two months, i only got bred once raw once by a guy i knew fairly well. I am glad my family accepts me but is this just a phase or something more permanent? what does this forum thinks? Has anyone else been in this situation as well. Good for you. My opinion is that if you have doubts, then play safe. Sex is part of our lives but for each its' importance and priority level is different. For some it is the most important thing in their life, for others it has a lower importance. For me sex is fairly central in my life. For you at this moment your family and the support you get from them is important and you do not want to risk that for very risky sexual experiences. There is no right or wrong answer, just one you are comfortable with. Maybe you will change your mind later. Who knows. You will know when, and if, that moment comes. All the best to you.
very evil slut Posted April 16, 2012 Report Posted April 16, 2012 Our situations are not entirely the same but up until now,I thought I was probably the only one on Breedingzone who went back to condoms(although there are maybe a lot of guys but they don't want to admit it and look like 'no fun' type of people-who knows?).I have no idea if it is a phase but I am on a 'condom' trip as well.I barebacked my way through history in roughly 70% of the time, but in 9 out of 10 I haven't felt the load when the top shoots and was always amused when they talked about how I should feel their warm cum deposited in me.All the time I am thinking to myself-Dude,right now I don't feel a shit and if you were a bit slow,while cumming I would have probably felt at least your pulsating cock.Relying on visualizations frustrates me extremely and sometimes I feel like a cunt that didn't came.So with time i started talking about condoms and my sex is now 'safe'.I will go for BB but only if the top really insists and is hot as hell.Now don't get me wrong I love cum and that is the reason why I always say and put up a little fight(but I wouldn't stage a scandal or a scene) and demand it in my mouth.This, I enjoy 100%.Having tried supposedly the wildest thing out there I would say, go safe for now.Sex is sex and we still have gay sex like all the guys who have always used condoms.Just go on with it,if it's a phase it will wear off and if it's not-well, it is not the end of world either.
Totop Posted April 21, 2012 Report Posted April 21, 2012 Some say you can live withHIV for about 32 years while others say up to 50 years. Going off the 32 year figure, I am not ready to die when I turn 62! There is no magic age where people living with HIV drop dead. Actually I've been told by a doc (who is the head of the Immunodeficiency clinic of a major hospital who participates in HIV research) that so long as someone is consistently compliant with their meds, there isnt any difference in life expectancy.Besides, think about it, at 62 you could drop dead of several other diseases. Heart attack or Cancer to mention a couple of big ones. No, I'm not saying got out and get pozzed, I'm saying stop worrying as that stress itself could be cutting your life short.
PhoenixGeoff Posted April 21, 2012 Report Posted April 21, 2012 People choose barebacking over safer sex for a wide variety of reasons, usually more than one. Some do it because it's how they were introduced to fucking. Some do it because it just feels better. Some do it because it can be more spontaneous or because fumbling for a condom and lube breaks the mood. Some do it because they get off on breaking the rules. Some like the thrill of the risk. Some do it because they're in love (or heavy lust) with a guy who barebacks so they follow his lead. Some do it under the influence of drugs. But I've also noticed that some guys seem to bareback out of a sense of low self esteem, depression and/or internalized homophobia. A big part of the thinking here seems to revolve around both the increased risk of STDs and the idea of completely giving yourself away cheaply. I've got no idea whatsoever if this applied to you, but if, at some level, it did, the act of coming out to your family, which would have helped resolve a lot of the anxiety and perhaps guilt and shame you were feeling over being gay, may have brought you to the point where you feel better about yourself and so don't feel the need to act as you did while you were in the closet. Having tried supposedly the wildest thing out there I would say, go safe for now. You know, this is definitely one side effect of being very sexually active. After a while, activities that were once incredibly exciting can lose a lot of their interest. When I first came out of the closet, cocksucking was amazingly, intensely hot. Now, for me anyways, it's just a means to an end...getting the top hard and ready to move on to the next thing. Part of that is simple experience...I know a lot more about sex now and know that there are tons of other things that guys can do together. But I also think it's possible to actually get almost bored with some sex acts if you do them all the time. I think that's a part of my creeping interest in different kinks. I remember a time when watching guys in the bathhouse get into a public fisting scene would both fascinate and repel me, but I'd tell myself, "There's no way in hell I'd ever do that!" Now, I am one of those guys. I look at men in their early 20s who get into all kinds of kinky shit, and on the one hand, it's hot, and I'm kind of jealous. But I also ask myself, "How are these guys ever going to grow any further sexually, when they're already doing everything imaginable now? Where will they be at 30? 40? 50?" I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of them might very well end up turning their back on sex altogether because it's all old hat and boring, which would really be a shame. And the real danger of that is if a lot of the attraction comes from breaking a taboo, as it often does for barebacking. Break a taboo once, and it's exciting. Do it repeatedly, and it's no longer a taboo. Remove the social repression, like we used to have back in the '90s, and that part of the attraction can disappear completely. I sometimes wonder just what I'd have to do to start raising eyebrows again (which, in my case, used to be something I really loved about being gay, back before we became the latest "in thing"). I don't know, maybe take a vow of celibacy and join a Carthusian monastery.
slowfuck Posted April 21, 2012 Report Posted April 21, 2012 Mascmountainman that was such an insightful and succinct post. Thank you.
einathens Posted April 21, 2012 Report Posted April 21, 2012 nobody said you have to be totally raw or totally wrapped. if you don't want to bareback, don't bareback. you can do both depending on mood and circumstance.
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